I received a free ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book contains some valuable advice and insight into recognizing the emotional state and needs of your partner. Doctor Tracy seems especially interested in how our attachment styles and childhood experiences shape our romantic relationships.

The structure alternates between the stories of different couples that she has counseled (I'm not sure if these were entirely made-up characters, or true-to-the-word stories with names changed; the dialogue, at least, sometimes feels too convenient/edited to be exactly what real people would've said--but I do think having them respond "correctly" helps model what couples are supposed to learn from the book).

I didn't love the structure, mostly because I had trouble keeping up with which couple was which as I moved through the book. Who was it that admitted a secret affair? Which one was the dad who didn't help with the baby? I personally would've preferred that each couple's story be told beginning-to-end in one chapter. However, I appreciate what she was trying to do differently here, showing the struggling relationships at the start and the positive resolutions at the end. Had I been reading a paperback copy, rather than on my phone, it might've been easier to flip back to earlier chapters and remind myself of each couple's deal before delving into their next section. Taking notes would help, as well, but I'm not always in the right environment for note-taking when I'm reading.

Dr. Tracy includes a lot of her own thoughts and relationship struggles throughout the book, even in the chapters that are not specifically about her. It almost reads like a memoir, at times. While I do think this serves the purpose of making her look human and relatable to those with imperfect relationships, I also found myself getting frustrated with her. She would have arguments with her husband that, from my perspective, were mostly her fault (which she does acknowledge by the end). This was distracting to me, as she was communicating in ways that I already knew were harmful to her relationship, and it made me trust her insight less. That said, if I was someone who had the same struggles as her, maybe it would be helpful to relate to her. I just didn't relate.

She's very good about figuring out why her clients act or feel a certain way, but I found the book to be a little bit lacking in practical advice. I think this is due to the structure, as well, though. The last few chapters were where we get all of the solutions/happy couples, and by that point I was desperate for anything I could actually use. The end-of-chapter gray boxes came the closest to ongoing practical advice, but even these seemed to be more about understanding the source of your emotions than actually changing your reactions to your triggers. The understanding is an important step, but I guess I'm just past that--I need the step that tells me "here's what you tell yourself, or here's how to journal, etc. to keep you from spiraling into negativity about your relationship." Some readers might catch more of that advice than I did, though.

I loved this book! I highly recommend to anyone in a relationship honestly not even just marriage. I love the workbook feeling you get with each chapter and the stories and how she is able to teach you how to better handle the scenario then the take away you feel after just feels like I saved money on couples therapy. Absolutely loved it ❤️ do yourself a favor and get your self a copy.

Tracy Dalgleish's "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers readers a compelling exploration of the complexities that arise within intimate relationships, particularly when faced with unforeseen challenges. Drawing from her extensive experience as a couples therapist, Dalgleish combines elements of memoir and self-help to shed light on the struggles couples encounter and the importance of healthy relationships, especially during times of societal stressors.

In an era marked by various external pressures, such as work demands, financial strain, and global uncertainties, the need for strong and nurturing relationships becomes increasingly vital. Dalgleish underscores this significance by sharing her personal journey as a therapist and a new mother. As she balances the joys of motherhood with the burden of increased domestic responsibilities, she finds herself echoing the very words spoken by her clients: "I didn't sign up for this." This pivotal realization becomes the catalyst for deeper self-reflection and a search for solutions to bridge the gaps within her own marriage.

Through the lens of her own experiences and intimate therapy sessions, Dalgleish delves into the fundamental issues that fuel conflicts in relationships. She fearlessly examines breakdowns in communication, lack of intimacy, and external stressors that strain the fabric of partnerships. By weaving together relatable stories of real-life couples, she provides readers with a rich tapestry of scenarios that allow for reflection and self-discovery.

"I Didn't Sign Up for This" goes beyond simply highlighting the challenges couples face; it offers practical tools and insights to help individuals establish and maintain healthier connections with their partners. Dalgleish's empathetic and non-judgmental approach allows readers to feel seen and understood, creating a safe space for introspection and growth. By addressing the universal struggle of showing up authentically in our relationships, Dalgleish invites readers to explore their own vulnerabilities and work towards fostering stronger emotional bonds.

In a time when societal stressors can take a toll on relationships, Dalgleish's book serves as a timely reminder of the importance of nurturing healthy connections. By providing relatable stories and actionable tools, she equips readers with the means to navigate the challenges of modern relationships. Whether readers are embarking on new relationships, juggling the complexities of a blended family, or navigating the demands of parenthood, "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers valuable insights that will help individuals feel more connected and fulfilled in their intimate relationships.

In conclusion, Tracy Dalgleish's "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers a compassionate and insightful exploration of the complexities inherent in intimate relationships. By sharing personal experiences and real-life therapy sessions, Dalgleish encourages readers to reflect on their own relationships and provides practical tools for fostering healthier connections. In a time when societal stressors can strain relationships, this book serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to navigate the challenges and cultivate fulfilling partnerships.

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a seasoned, experienced couples therapist provides a story that consists of 50% memoir, and 50% self-help as she present stories from her work with couples as well as, vignettes from her own life, as a working mother and wife. Marriage is hard work, and sometimes, assistance must be obtained from mental health professionals. The following themes and issues are presented in this book: unequal division of labor in the home, coparenting, infidelity, and more. Key insights into the process of couples therapy can be gleaned from this book. Although, it is not a “self- help” book and is not presented as such, there are tidbits peppered throughout the book that can provide helpful tips for married couples struggling with similar issues. Dr. Dalgleish normalizes that relationships are hard work, which is an important point for all couples. This book was an insightful read for all individuals involved in a relationship or marriage. I would have enjoyed more examples individuals in therapy. I also think that another chapter could be added with Dr. Dalgleish’s key points on how to improve relationships. It was an interesting read and gave insight into the process of couples therapy. It demystifies what occurs during the therapy process. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing this ARC in exchange for a review.

I love books about others' experiences in therapy. It helps provide insight into something that doesn't often come up in conversation and requires a lot of vulnerability if it does. I also love when books by therapists include their own stories about personal growth through therapy. This book did a great job of including multiple perspectives and situations providing a "something for everyone" reading experience. I don't have children, but I enjoyed reading about the shifts that happen in a marriage/partnership when coparenting is thrown into the mix.

I would definitely recommend this book for folks who are curious about couple's therapy, healing or working on their relationships, or just interested in a new perspective.

I’m a member of Dr. Tracey’s membership group, Be Connected. I was happy to read and review this ARC and provide an honest review.

In this boom Dr. Tracey covers much of the same material shared in the membership group. Her work is geared through a lens of relational attachment which I have found transformative. The book features stories of several couples with diverse concerns and relationships. She also includes herself and shares her personal relationship struggles after childbirth.

I’d recommend this book to anyone looking to grow in their relationship, particularly those struggling with attachments or the mental load. I think there is good advice here for almost any couple looking to build a stronger relationship.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Humans are so complicated. I admire those who spend their career helping people dig deep and make positive changes.
Therapists aren't immune to any of the issues the rest of us may face. The author does a nice job of showing several couples, including her own with her husband, that have common issues in their personal lives and relationships, dig deep and help get on a better path for a happier life.

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Informational book about relationships and expectations. It focused on couples and the issues that complicated their happiness.