LOVED this book. Well written, juicy, perfect glimpse into the good and bad. I loved how real it was.

It was good, but not soaring to the top of my lists for the year and not one I would recommend to a general audience. I don't regret reading it, though.

Let me start this review with a few disclaimers:

1. I am not in an open marriage and have no desire to be in one. I'm merely a reader obsessed with memoirs because they offer a look inside people's lives with various backgrounds and experiences. I believe there's a lot to learn from other people's lives and decisions, even if they aren't ones I would make for myself.
2. I consider myself a sex-positive person. I don't believe sex is taboo or dirty, and talking or reading about sex in general doesn't bother me. (I'm referring to sex in general—I'm not a romance reader and, therefore, have no dog in the smut fight.) If anything I write in this review seems to suggest that I have an issue with the topic of sex or judgment for people with diverse sexual experiences, please know that's not actually the case.

I was immediately intrigued when I first saw that MORE was coming out. I haven't seen many books (especially memoirs) from the perspective of anyone in the polyamorous community. Reading MORE made me think that this lack of representation may be by design; the best memoirs require honesty, vulnerability, and a unique point of view. The unique point of view is inherent, but I can see how it would be difficult for many to be honest and vulnerable about open relationships because of the shame MORE's author encountered at the beginning of hers.

My favorite parts of the book were the author's sessions with her therapist and personal reflections about her feelings of jealousy, her struggles to accept certain parts of polyamory, her back-and-forth deliberations within herself about whether to request a closed marriage, her discoveries of what she enjoyed and was motivated by, etc. While there was plenty of that, I thought most of the explicit details she included about her relationships didn't add anything to the story. That's not to say that none of them were relevant because some details certainly added helpful context and pushed the story forward—especially when she discussed said details with her husband. I'm not sure you can write a good memoir about an open marriage without including some romantic and sexual particulars. But because of the level of detail she chose to include, I found myself waiting for her deliberation time. I wanted to know more about what she was learning about herself from these relationships and what her journey revealed about her preferences, personality, and thoughts on open marriage as a whole. I could've done with less detail about her sexual trysts to make space for the aforementioned reflections I wanted from the book.

I also thought there was more self-pity than self-discovery. Between all the crying and wallowing, she lacked a glaring amount of self-awareness. The ending made sense, but she skipped to it quickly without wrapping up any loose ends or even clarifying whether open marriage turned out to be for her or not. However, a story about open marriage by a woman who discovered her parents were also in an open marriage is a book waiting to happen, and an interesting one at that. I ultimately appreciated and enjoyed MORE as an ambitious and fascinating memoir and Winter as an impressively open (no pun intended) and talented writer.

This is a 2.5 star review from me. I found myself thinking about this book and was mesmerized by the premise, but it just didn’t land for me.

I just found the entire book sad. I found myself being interested in the beginning but the fact that she continued after everything in herself was telling her to stop made me less sympathetic for the situation. The husband was clearly manipulating the entire thing and the fact that he didn’t actually seem to give a shit about her was just cringe worthy.

Thank you to NetGalley, Doubleday, and Molly Roden Winter for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This was hard to review. I actually didn't finish this one. I thought the writing was great, and I love hearing new perspectives about people's lives, but this just didn't work for me. However, while this didn't work for me now, I think I may try to finish it at a later date because I am so curious how everything worked out for Molly. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around an open marriage--it's not a religious or prude thing, it's just a me thing. But I am glad there are books for everyone!

This was such a wonderful and informative novel. I didn't know much about open marriages but this helped me have a better understanding of them and the love that goes into these relationships. I think if you have an open mind, it would be a great read!

4.5 stars

So good! From the clever title onward, Molly Roden Winter’s well-written memoir is an insightful, wise, honest, revealing look at her experiences and struggle with delving into an open marriage arrangement with her husband. I was taken with the level of compelling narrative and frank self-exploration. Although there is a bit of sexual detail, this is much more about the emotions of the process, the ups and downs and questions and jealousies and resentments and communications and being able to say yes or no, and so very much more. Thus if you are looking for a sexually titillating memoir, or a book about what a lark polyamory is, you will need to look elsewhere.

Her wry sense of humor and humanity throughout the whole book is ever present, making the reading both enjoyable and very accessible. Instead of open marriage being this “weird thing,” she takes you along her own “normal” life into this new trajectory where you, too, can understand why healthy well-adjusted people in a good marriage might do this. She makes it seem more normal, if not easy, to undertake. For her, navigating such a landscape is fraught on so many levels. And she so aptly brings us into understanding, commiserating, celebrating with her.

There are probably as many types of open marriages as there are open marriages. From swingers to thruples to polyamory…to who knows what else. This open marriage is none of the above. Because of this more steady approach, plus the otherwise mainstream trappings (kids, PTA, jobs, life in Brooklyn) and the book being so well written, this is as accessible and moving as any interesting memoir out there.

Much is made of her own limiting lifestyle in being a mother, responsible for her boys, feeling hemmed in, and how those facts—and the resulting resentment, plus wanting something more exciting—plays in. Though these moments bring struggle or pain in her realization of them, the book is a pleasure to read not only for the above reasons, but also because of the clear love and support she has from her husband. Still, his getting off on the idea of her having other partners…and wanting some details thereof…when she just wants the experiences for herself…brings new tensions. But, the love and support between them, and her showing his downsides balanced with fervent love and appreciation, endears the reader to him, her, and their coupledom.

I was struck by the amazing therapist she finds for herself, then again another amazing therapist for couples therapy. I have many close therapist friends (including my BFF), so this is not a put-down of the profession—but!—it’s super rare to find great therapists so readily. There are a lot of bad ones out there, and usually it’s a hunt to find a fit. So I am thrilled for her as they really helped, and I love how she shares the insights from sessions and her own growth from these. I do wonder though if this is a totally accurate part of the memoir, or if the hunt for someone good took longer but was left out of the book for more concise storytelling.

A vital thread making this memoir again so humane are the conversations with her mother, and some realizations she has about her parents. Some quite revelatory for her. Her relationship to her aging mother is moving. I cried tears at a memory she has very late in the book involving her father during a snowstorm when she is six years old. Her work on herself and therapy make her open to the arising of such memories and the meanings and help they can afford.

I don’t know if authors who write a memoir can be in a category of “debut” as she is—but I would hope for more from this talented author who so adroitly weaves her inner and outer life challenges into a compelling tale. Certainly reading about open marriage might be a big appealing carrot to get readers to this one—but I bet she could write about anything and do it very well.

Thank you so much to NetGalley for affording me the opportunity to read this so very newly published book.

3.5 stars rounded up
the best part of reading memoirs is living a life momentarily that will never be mine and this is no exception. open marriage is definitely not for me and more reinforced that, but it was fascinating to read about winter’s experience with it. in many ways, her writing made me wonder if the constant internal turmoil of an open marriage is ever worth it. parts of the book lacked self reflection and did not feel truthful, but if this is how winter feels then i have to accept it.

She’s a good writer but lacks the self reflection needed for writing a memoir. For example she mentions seeking out men who are looking for affairs. Why? I’m not one of those people who think cheating is the worst thing anyone could do, but she just doesn’t even reflect on why she did that? Other points within the memoir lack reflection as well. Also I hate how she talks about food and fat people. It’s very subtle but I like fatphobic like why did you have to call a woman heavyset twice and then say she “waddled” away. Why does she keep mentioning eating “too much food.” What does that mean?

As the general world gets a bit more comfortable with polyamory being a part of seemingly "normal" relationships and marriages, memoirs like this are more and more relevant (pun intended). One of my favorite things about this book was the precise line the author tread with detailing extra-marital encounters, without feeling like those encounters were the only focus of the book. Instead, they offered a window into her life, and the lives of those around her. It was a good length, too, and didn't feel too lengthy in any part. Definitely recommend for those wondering about nonmonogamy.

“More” definitely had me feeling like I can probably be okay with “Less”

Molly Roden Winter’s memoir is definitely one that will overrun dinner party discussions and book club debates within cosmopolitan friend groups for the foreseeable future. As someone who loves other people’s mess, this book surprisingly held up a mirror to my own mess in ways I was not expecting.

Painfully honest and slightly triggering, Roden Winter brings us along her self healing journey in the context of her decades-long open marriage. She tells a relatable story of constantly overextending herself for others and a need to be accepted, loved, and affirmed.

I think there is power in telling your story and while many can not emulate Molly's healing journey as much of it requires financial privilege (expensive therapists, trying out careers, financing multiple partners, costly hobbies, etc), I do think there is a lot to gain from reading this book.

I was SO intrigued by the synopsis of this book, there was no way I wasn't reading it. It's a FASCINATING read.

This was an excellently written account of opening a marriage and what that means to the people involved. Molly and Stewart have different experiences in their open marriage and this book left me feeling terrible for Molly. I don’t believe that was the intention of her telling this story but I couldn’t help feeling like she was being manipulated by everyone on this experience, her husband and her boyfriends. Maybe not the best read if you’re looking to using it to support opening your marriage, but definitely eye opening.

It's always tough to review a memoir, since it's someone's life, so I'll focus more on structure and craft elements more so than the contents of the book itself. While the subject matter of OPEN is interesting, there were some curious blind spots throughout the book that really impacted the reading experience. Chief among them is having no sense of how much time had passed—I thought we were talking about 2-3 years, then when it was casually thrown out that the author's first partner outside their marriage had been EIGHT years ago, I was really thrown. I didn't get a clear sense of time passing in this memoir, which points to another issue, which is that any of the arguments with her husband, Stew, and the topics discussed in therapy, felt circular to the point of being repetitive. There were also two perspectives that really hurt the book through their absence—more from Stew himself (we start with him telling his wife to have sex with another man, with no sense of how he came to that perspective himself), and the author's father, who signed off on his own open marriage with her mother years earlier. I understand we're focusing on Molly Roden Winter's perspective, but without hearing from these two men who play such a large role in the book ( ESPECIALLY Stew) much-needed context and emotional insight was missing. Overall, it felt like this book ended abruptly with perhaps the most charged and conflict-driven relationship of all being given no post-mortem, and it may have benefited from more time for the author to reflect prior to writing. The writing itself was good, but I found myself wanting the author to dig deeper on socioeconomic status, the role of children in relationships like this (especially with what happened with Scott's children!) and other context and topics that could have made the book feel more emotionally resonant.

From the beginning, this book was immediately captivating, opening with the author’s son confronting her about her open marriage. The narrative was rich with humor and just the right amount of smut. There were parts that made me uncomfortable, but these moments were necessary, adding depth and providing a compelling backdrop for the author’s journey of self-discovery.

The book touches on themes of self-acceptance, the therapeutic process of letting go, and the pitfalls of pleasing others at one’s own expense. It’s a narrative that many will find relatable and moving, one that speaks to the universal human experience. You DO NOT need to have an open marriage to relate to this book! It made me cry, and for me, any book that can evoke such a strong emotional response is deserving of a five-star rating. I finished the book yearning for more (pun not intended), which is always a sign of a great read.

I loved this book so much. As someone who has played with the idea of an open marriage, it was really interesting to hear the trials and tribulations, but also the positive emotions and emotional freedom it gave. Really well written! It took me a little bit to get into it, but by about 100 pages in I couldn’t put it down.

More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter is an incredibly vulnerable, honest, heart-wrenching, and hopeful story of love. It reads like a journal with many emotional ups and downs that draw you into the characters. The author goes through the trenches of an open marriage and lays it all out on the line. She shows the incredibly wonderful moments where not only is she in love with more than one person at once, but also the huge complexities of thoughts and feelings that come along with being in an open relationship. Not every partnership she had was a great one, like most dating experiences, but each one showed her something new about herself or her relationship with her husband. She also discovers much about herself along the way and realizes that relationships with other people is not the only way to fill her cup.

This book made me feel the feelings Molly felt throughout her marriage, so at times I was frustrated too along with her but that only pulled me in more. I wanted to see a success story within this open marriage that I felt Molly was also longing for. In the end, it was clear that a “success story” to their open marriage was not necessarily what either of them was looking for. Their own success story they discovered was a deep understanding of love and friendship. The book illustrated the love in their relationship so well that it gave me hope for the future of my relationship. I am not seeking an open marriage but I can see the strength in loving your partner so much that allowing them to have freedom to be who they are in their life in whatever form that may be is the true meaning of unconditional love.

4.5 stars

This is an extremely intriguing memoir based on the title and even more so once you dive in. We are only intimately associated with our own marriage, and that's only if we are married, so it is completely vulnerable for the author to let us into the inner workings of her marriage.

It is difficult to read this without leaping to judgment - of any sort.  As a book, it is immensely immersive. I thought I had only been reading for 15 minutes, and over an hour had elapsed. I imagine a few people will be turned off by the first 20 or so pages, if they already weren't turned off by the title, as the author gets VERY detailed about her sex life with her husband and her other lovers. The author doesn't gloss over anything. This is your forewarning (if somehow the title didn't register with you).

I felt sympathy toward the author. She found a man she met sexually attractive while married, and her husband Stewart instantly told her to have sex with him. And he was out the door to meet other women he wanted to have sex with (it completely sounds like he was primed to have a girlfriend or had already had a girlfriend). The author really isn't into polyamory; she's into relationships. But once they open the door to other people, her husband didn't want to close off their marriage again. If you have watched any of those polygamy shows, you know that the man is the instigator in almost all of these extramarital relationships. The author wanted to give up polyamory many times, as the jealousy was too much for her and the pain of failed relationships hurt.

Again, I appreciate the author being so vulnerable and using her real name. Her story was very similar to the stories I have heard in other venues (although mostly anonymous), yet this was so real and vivid.

Thank you to NetGalley and Doubleday for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Loving this book that opens eyes to different types of marriages and overcoming difficult situations as a couple

I've read a few books, both fiction and nonfiction, about open marriages, and it seems many of them take the approach of diving directly into the deep end. Oftentimes, the excitement and thrill of a new partner completely engulfs the need for complete honesty and thorough discussions with their current established partner, which almost always leads to trouble. The author makes a lot of mistakes throughout this process, hiding feelings of resentment and being deceptive in expressing her true feelings toward her husband and her other partners. A lot of her actions are impulsive, risky, and based on her need for affirmation and attempts at quick fixes. Even though both Molly and her husband feel freedom in being able to pursue other relationships, the addition of other partners inevitably adds complications and stress, and the feelings of jealousy never fully dissipate. I am impressed by her perseverance, despite the many challenges she faces, and her fervent determination to find herself.

This book reads so much like a novel, with a tightly-plotted storyline and brisk pacing, that I often had to remind myself that this was a memoir. I flew through this memoir because it was so action-packed, with cliffhangers and foreshadowing. I was so curious as to what situations Molly would encounter and how she would navigate these exciting but emotionally taxing relationships.