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These Evans Women Are Tough!

I really enjoyed this book. It's scary and has a sense of dark humor that somehow keeps it light when corpses start coming to life. I'll think twice when I pass by a funeral parlor, especially in the podunk parts of southeast Texas. It's a great area for a horror novel setting! They say that you have to be tough to make it in Texas, and these women certainly are.

All the characters are wonderful. I'm not a fan of being kept in the dark myself, so I could relate to Luna even though I'm 50+ years older than her. She makes this a coming-of-age story, but it's more than that. Each character, from Ducey to Luna Evans, the sheriff, the deputies, and the townspeople are written vividly and I cared about them.

There were potential sub-plots with peripheral characters that I hope will appear in at least one sequel. I want to know what happens next at the Evans Family Funeral Parlor!

Thank you to author Lindy Ryan; St. Martin's Press/Minotaur Books, publishers; and to NetGalley for the free advance reader's copy. They put me under no obligation to give a positive review, but I'm giving one anyway! If you like horror of the vampire/Strigoi/zombie genres and prefer books with strong female and strong male characters, you will love Bless Your Heart.

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I don't know what it is, but I've been reading lots of books set in the 90s lately. Add in that Bless Your Heart is set in Texas and it's right up my alley.

It's 1999 and the Evans women have run the town funeral home for generations. They're not just in charge of funeral arrangements, but also make sure that what's dead stays dead. But the dead aren't the only thing the Evan's women are ensuring stay buried, and with the dead rising the secrets the women keep are rising with them.

I so enjoyed this book. It's a quirky, fun, paranormal, mystery and I was here for it. I primarily listened to the audiobook, and it definitely made traffic more enjoyable. The Evans women (Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and Luna) have such spunk and if you follow me, you'll know I'm a sucker for a no-nonsense older lady.

While this book has a 'horror' label, it's just for the supernatural aspect. It' certainly falls more into the 'horror adjacent' realm with more a focus on the mystery. The ending has the potential for setting us up for a series, and I completely read another book in this series.


Bless Your Heart comes out April 9, 2024! Huge thank you to Minotaur Books and MacMillan Audio for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion.  If you liked this review please let me know either by commenting below or by visiting my instagram @speakingof.books or on Tiktok @speakingof.books

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🧛🏻‍♀️Book Review🧛🏻‍♀️
*
Summary: It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny—Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.

But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi—the original vampire—are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.

As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
*
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
*
My Thoughts: thank you so much @macmillan.audio and @netgalley for the advanced copy, this book releases 4/9 and the audio is just out of this world! I loved just about everything about this one, it was quirky and weird. It’s like a hybrid Grady Hendrix meets practice magic. It’s gory and quirky and just all around a good time fighting vampires. If you’re a Buffy fan I truly can’t recommend this one enough. It’s going to be a book series and I just can’t wait to book number 2! 😍

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Good book with a solid story that keeps the reader engaged the whole way through. I really liked the main character and how they were presented to the reader.

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3/5 ⭐️
I think this book had potential and an interesting concept, however, for me it fell flat. I was not engaged. Most of it felt almost superficial. Like the stakes should’ve been tense, but they weren’t. I think because there was too many point of views and we never really dug deeper into them then the superficial. And I think that can work sometimes (ie Agatha Christie), but then the plot needs to hit harder. In addition, i think there were too many unnecessary details. Like I don’t need to know that she drove a mazda passed the 7/11 listening to Dixie chicks. Like these kind of details can be fun if used sparingly. Here it’s every other page. Minimum. I think if this was fixed then this could’ve been excellent. I think the characters we did meet were very distinct and realistic in their descriptions. So on the surface I was excited, but then left wanting. The descriptions were also excellent, conjuring images in my mind’s eye.
Thank you to NetGalley and Minotaur for providing an advance reader copy of this book for my honest review.

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This was a little more gory than I usually like to read. A cross between vampires and zombies a neat new monster to read about. I enjoyed the premise and the characters however I felt like the pacing was sometimes off and felt about 100 pages longer than it really needed to be. The audiobook narrator did a fantastic job.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC!

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This is a light mystery horror that is perfect for the girlies generally don’t read horror. I had a great time and laughed out loud multiple times. Highly recommend!

Thanks to Minotaur for the e-arc and MacMillan Audio for the ALC!

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It was...fine. I think I had different expectations of this being a dark comedy and it really wasn't. A lot of this felt reptative and it took me SO long to actually read the book when I can normally fly through a 300 page book in an evening.

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This was such a fun and enjoyable listen. This story was a kooky mess unfolding and I enjoyed every second. It’s not often you find a suspenseful page turner that also makes you laugh like a crazy person and I am so glad I saw this in Shelf Awareness and requested ARCs! The narrator was especially animated and had the perfect southern twang for this book.

The Evans women are a force to be reckoned with and I truly enjoyed their varied personalities and the way they all fit together. Ducey is a spitfire great grandma and matriarch of her Strigoi fighting family. She’s definitely my favorite of the Evans women and looked forward to each of her POV chapters.

I know some people might write this off immediately when they hear vampires are involved, but I really believe that any kind of reader could enjoy this. This was not only fun, but also a wonderful and heartwarming family story between women of multiple generations and the lengths they go to protect each other.

The only reason this isn’t 5 stars is because there were a couple predictable factors, but the ending still surprised me and this was definitely a great and original tale!

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Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan 🧠🧠.5/5
Pub Date: April 9, 2024

This was an interesting read; however, it was a bit slow. I found once I hit the 60% mark, I was able to settle into the rhythm of the story.

What I liked:
- it has vampires
- the women are KICK ASS and run a funeral parlour
- a family bond that withstands everything (and I mean EVERYTHING)

What I didn’t like:
- WAY too many POVs, which made it hard to stay engaged, especially in the beginning

I would say this is more a mystery than a horror book. Cute once you get into it, although a bit campy.

Thank you to @minotaur_books , @netgalley and the author for a free digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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The Evans women--Duecy, Lenore, and Grace--have spent their lives ensuring the recently departed are given a proper burial. They've been running the only funeral parlor in their small Texas town for decades and have gotten by without any incident since the Godawful Mess left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter alone. But when the body of the town gossip is brought in for burial and instead rises from the dead, it's clear that the Evans women's pasts have come back to haunt them. As more bodies start piling up and the local deputy begins asking more questions, the Evans women realize that the Strigoi--the original vampires--have returned, and it's up to them to protect their town.

Based on the title and cover, I thought it would be some campy horror à la Grady Hendrix, but it felt serious. I liked the premise of this family of women, who each have distinct personalities, protecting their town from evil, but if I had to read about one more butterscotch candy, I was going to offer myself up to the Strigoi. The pacing was too slow, and instead of building tension, it left me bored. I needed more action because it started to feel like, "Here's a body we found," and "Oh look, here's another body we found." That comes down to the writing, which I thought was vague, repetitive, and lackluster. Maybe I went into this with my expectations too high, but the description promised Southern charm with a bite, and it was more like teething.

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Honestly, it was alright. Took me a long time to finish. The last 50 pages were really good but still undecided if the journey was worth it. Also the summary and the cover is very misleading.. thought I was gonna read about cool vampires but it’s actually zombies. I’d rate it 2.5 stars. Right in the middle!

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TW: Blood, violence, cancer, Columbian mention, bullying, family drama, f*g slur, homophobia, smoking, language, blood, gore, toxic relationships

*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny―Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.

But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi―the original vampire―are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.

As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
Release Date: April 9th, 2024
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 298
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

What I Liked:
1. Cover is adorable
2. Mentions of amazing bands
3. Writing style was fun

What I Didn't Like:
1. Quigg's constant ticking of his mouth drove me crazy on the audiobook
2. Rambling a lot
3. Crane calling Luna Moon Girl
4. All the butterscotch mentions

Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer I write my review as I read}}

Why wouldn't they have stabbed the heart when they put Boone in metal cooler? That would have some time since they knew he was going to come back anyways.

Oh if I could count how many times I rode around listening to Type O Negative in 1999.

Ohhhhh Luna is half ghoul and half human

Usually I write a huge review but I don't know what happened here. I guess it felt like nothing was really going on where I had much to think on.

Final Thoughts:
My attention for this book started failing as I got to the halfway point. I wanted stuff to happen, but it was all just stale at that point.

At the end it felt repetitive and predictable, but it was just meh. Meh isn't bad. It was entertaining and I didn't hate it. I just don't know if I will remember much past reading this book and years later.

IG | Blog


Thanks to Netgalley, Minotaur Books, and Macmillan Audio for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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I made it to 67% before I finally gave up. I was going to quit reading this book earlier, but there are so many happy readers that I thought I must be missing something and kept plowing on. I don't believe I was missing anything except the time I gave to keep on reading.

I do admire all the readers who found this a worthwhile book. Apparently, it is not my cup of tea for several reasons:

1) I'm just not that into extremely descriptive blood and guts scenes.

2) I don't like books that are filled with repetition and not action.

3) Reading about these Even's women running around doing nothing annoyed me.

4) Hearing about "the god awful mess" of 15 years ago, without an explanation, grated on my nerves.

5) The habit of some of the older women, such as sucking on candy constantly, made me want to smack something or somebody.

All in all, I can recommend this book to those who don't mind reading about gore and willy-nilly high drama.

*ARC supplied by the publisher Minotaur Books, the author, and NetGalley.

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Set in 1999, the story follows the Evan’s women as they battle strygori in their small Texas town.
I absolutely fell in love with Ducey, the plucky, butterscotch chomping great grandma. I felt like if Buffy the Vampire Slayer lived to be 80 she would be fun like Ducey.
Each chapter Is narrated by different characters in the story. I felt that helped me to fully visualize the town
For someone who didn’t love Grady Hendrix’s The Southern Book Club Guide to Slaying Vampires (I know, I know that’s blasphemy), I was pleasantly suprised and delighted by this book.

A solid 4.5/5 stars for me (rounded up for goodreads). I received an advanced review copy of this book.

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Well…I read it and I’m not sure how I feel about it. To be fair, you should know I’m not all that into vampires, but I gave this book a try anyway because I liked the idea of a family of Southern women kicking butt together. It starts out scary, but ends up just being your run of the mill gore-fest. At a certain point I was bored with all the blood. I did enjoy the matriarchal element, but something was missing for me. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. I doubt I will continue to read the series.

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This was a rather enjoyable read, just that it's nothing special. Come read this book for some cute family dynamics, light horror, and a rather predictable mystery that's fun.

In a small town in Texas, four generations of Evans women have been taking care of the dead at their funeral parlor- and that also includes the kind of dead that get back up. Ever since the "Godawful Mess", an event 15 years ago that left the family more torn than ever, they've made sure to keep the peace. But now, the dead are rising up again, and potentially an even bigger threat than the one from 15 years ago will rise up...

My only true criticism for this book was that the ending sent me into some whiplash. A weird comment for a book, filled with detailed descriptions of dead bodies, and me only getting whiplash from the ending, which was pretty tame actually, but hey, it threw me for a loop. Other than that, this book didn't take itself too seriously, I had a pretty enjoyable time, and it was just very "meh (said with excitement)".

- thank you to the publisher for the e-arc / this did not influence my thoughts / all thoughts and sayings are my own. -

3.5 / 5. rounded down

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Thank you, netgalley and the publisher, for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
The Evans women have run a funeral parlor in a small town for generations, so they know their way around a dead body. When the dead start to rise, they are completely unphased. Been there, done that. But this time, the youngest Evans woman, Luna, could be involved in the raising of the dead.
I really liked this book! There were so many funny moments interspersed between the horror that it felt more approachable than other horror novels I've read. There were some parts that I wish were addressed more thoroughly, but hopefully, that will happen in the sequel.
Check out Bless Your Heart when it comes out April 9, 2024.

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Bless Your Heart by Linda Ryan is a intersting book that didn't really do it for me.
I love stories about vampires but this one was SO over the top (I know vampires) but it just didn't make sense.

The characters were so unbelievable and the story just didn't have a good flow.

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loved the original premise of this book however it seemed to drag between character perspectives for me. Knowing this is a series I wish we got some more background of the history of the "ghouls" and what brought them to this town. Loved the main characters however and definitely didn't see the twists coming which was a nice surprise.

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