A beautiful look at friendships people totally devoted to each other someone they travel through life with.These friendships are purely platonic but as connected as real as any marriage without the sexual aspect.I was moved by each relationship really enjoyed learning about the couples in this book.their unique involvement.#netgalley #st.martins

Rhaina Cohen's "The Other Significant Others" shares well-researched stories about how close friends forged and sustained their relationships -- and it absolutely opened my heart and mind. As I read this book, I realized just how deeply messages about the hierarchy of relationships (partner/spouse/nuclear family first, then friendships) have seeped into my own life. For me, this is the best kind of writing: generous and transformative.

Cohen's discussion of how friendships between men and between women have changed from antiquity and the early modern period to the Victorian era and the present day is one of the most interesting sections of the book; I have often wondered why closeness between friends could encompass writing sentimental poetry and walking together with arms entwined in the late 19th century but not 100 years later. It is liberating to learn that there is a long history of devotion, care, and love between friends and that there have always been different ways of creating relationships in the world.

I cannot wait to share and discuss this book with my closest friends when it is published and I am thankful to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read and review it.

For years, I’ve seen the consequences of romantic relationships taking priority in both real life and the fictional world, and have been deconstructing it on my own mostly. Then comes The Other Signifiant Others and it deconstructs the idea a lot further than I have so far, with Rhania Cohen’s years of research and interviews to back it up. And it was exactly the kind of book I needed in more ways than one.

The book talks about the history of platonic love and how it’s been legally seen in the past and present, how romantic love took more priority, as well as how to define partnership, manhood and family, and the long term consequences of said platonic bonds, both in the relationships and in a legal sense. Each chapter features one or two stories of significant friendships that are deeper than what is seen as a typical friendship, but there’s no romantic or sexual attraction involved. It dives into the origin of the friendship, how it developed, the challenges they faced from inside and outside the friendship, as well as some takeaway lessons for the rest of us. Near the end of the book, Cohen goes into how these bonds are seen as throwaway ones in the eyes of the law, favoring blood relations and romance, which makes us think about the relationship hierarchy as it’s currently constructed, as in what makes a relationship a priority. While Cohen does interject her own experiences throughout to give it a personal touch, she mostly stays a third party, reporting on other people’s experiences, data, and other research. In the kindle version, the last 29% of the book is purely notes, which shows how well researched this was.

This isn’t a book that you read in one sitting. It’s something you absorb and reflect on. I would usually read a chapter or two and think about each of the topics, using whatever I highlighted dozens of quotes (it might be over 100) throughout my kindle to go back to. This would be a great book to read with others and chat about, I’m really hoping for study guides and sheets for this one, either by the publisher, author, or from third parties.

As a Young Adult author, I’m expected to put my teenage protagonists in a romantic relationship as proof they can love others, have emotions, are maturing into adults, with a default assumption that friendship is “lesser than” a romance. I’m so glad books like this exist to back up my claim that friendships can be just as significant as a romance in terms of filling that idea of ability to love, and I love it.

If you’re looking for a book that expands on what a platonic relationship can be and don’t mind a lot of notes, you’ll enjoy this one, especially if you can find someone to read it with you.
*I received an ARC of the audiobook from Netgalley and MacMillian. All opinions are my own.*

I really enjoyed the author's research on how friendship and platonic relationships were viewed historically, and the importance placed on relationships outside of love and marriage.

This insightful exploration delves into the evolving dynamics of friendship across history, providing a genuine perspective on its enduring value.

In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner―these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life―spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more―reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life.

This book!! what a great read. 10 out of 10 Hit me to the core. So much information it took me a minute to digest and be able to reread it and recommend to everyone! Well done!

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for the advanced reader copy of this book.

I was really impressed with the way the author was able to utilize storytelling to convey all the thought provoking topics of the other types of relationships we all hold to varying levels. It was an incredibly insightful book that really made me sit back and think about my friendships.

I think that this is an excellent source material for adults particularly those that are younger who might be questioning the value of marriage in the future and their close friendships. It could certainly help shape decisions for younger adults.

The Other Significant Others was recommended for me on NetGalley and I’m not quite sure why, because I’ve never read an ARC remotely close to something like this before. But gosh am I glad I clicked that Read Now button.

The Other Significant Others is an exploration of long-term platonic relationships in their various forms. The book weaves historical information and social scientific data about friendship, its place in society and importance to human well-being, through the stories of eight different contemporary friendships. With no roadmap to follow (and no contemporary language to describe them) these friendship stories absolutely fascinated me, not just because the people involved were bucking societal norms but because they were living life with such intentionality. The friendships that are discussed are not your run of the mill besties. These people have a level of commitment to each other that puts them in the life partner category.

I really appreciated the diversity of relationships shown in this book. We see queer-straight pairings, straight-straight pairings, same gender and opposite gender pairings, age gaps, people brought together by a desire to platonically co-parent, and people brought together by the challenges of being older and single. Sometimes these individuals also had romantic partners, sometimes they did not. The author resists the urge (or skates it, depending on your view) to label these relationships as queer, instead letting the people involved define themselves. Same goes for the parts of the book that discuss platonic partnerships throughout history; the author does not use modern language and concept to define historical relationships.

There were many themes in The Other Significant Others that struck a chord for me. Too many to talk about in depth in a review. Of note was the concept that strong friendships can make for healthier romantic partnerships, by scrapping the idea that your romantic partner should be your everything. I also really enjoyed seeing the variety of ways physical affection was incorporated into these relationships and the ways in which attitudes about physical affection in platonic relationships and the importance of the nuclear family are distinctly a modern, Western cultural ideal that is rooted in patriarchy and anti-immigrant sentiments. The book also talks about “emotional gold digging” and the emotional labor that women often bear because men are socialized to only expect deep emotional connection in romantic partnerships and not friendships.

The earlier parts of the book really focus on exploring the multitude of ways that platonic partnerships add richness and happiness to life. The latter part has this as well, but really focuses on the legal and societal hurdles that platonic partnerships face and in that regard gets a little heavy. There is a chapter on grief that that shows a platonic relationship where one person is diagnosed with (and ultimately dies from) cancer, so please tread lightly if that is a trigger for you.

The book is very America/Canada centric. It is also long. As much as I enjoyed reading it, I do feel it could have been edited down without losing the salient points and stories. The last 30% of the book is acknowledgments, end notes, and a bibliography, so keep that in mind if you balk at the amount of time your e-reader tells you it will take to read this book.

Very interesting book! I really enjoyed the themes it explored and how it showcased the many types of connections people can have.

I recently had the opportunity to read an Advance Reader's Copy (ARC) of "The Other Significant Others" on NetGalley in return for an honest review. Rhaina Cohen explores a thought-provoking and unique perspective through her own label-defying friendship with "Em" (a pseudonym). This friendship serves as the jumping-off point for a broader discussion about profound human connections, particularly the intricacies of deep friendships: friendship roles, sexism and the damage it does to male friendship, the difference between romantic and platonic love, legal battles, grief, and more.

The book blends personal anecdotes collected from interviews with individuals in unconventional friendships that are often social if not legal partnerships, a historical context that traces the evolution of friendship and romantic relationships over time, and a look at the legal and societal aspects that have historically surrounded friendships.

In "The Other Significant Others," Rhaina Cohen presents a compelling case for the increased recognition of the role of friendship in our lives. The book offers a well-researched and thought-provoking exploration of the topic.

As I read, I appreciated the insights I gained about the various facets of human connections. Rhaina Cohen's personal experiences and journalistic background undoubtedly contribute to the book's well-researched content and the depth of her narrative. I also appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable. I particularly related to the discussion of feeling a kind of grief at her intense friendship with Em morphing into something less vibrant with the passage of time. I also learned a lot about friendship in antiquity through contemporary times, and I am better for it.

However, I couldn't help but feel that something was missing. The subtitle "Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center" had given me hope that this would be a book that might help me reimagine my life is some way. While the book's thesis is clear - that friendship is both valuable and often underestimated in our society - it lacks a firm point of view or a decisive stance on what should be done to address this issue.

Rhaina Cohen's unique qualifications are evident in her ability to blend personal insights with comprehensive research, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the book might have had a more significant impact if it had taken a different direction. It could have leaned into being a personal memoir, a kind of "Eat, Pray, Love," with Cohen's friendship with Em at the narrative core, providing a more emotional and relatable dimension to the book.

Alternatively, "The Other Significant Others" could have been structured as a persuasive how-to guide, similar to "The Ethical Slut," offering practical advice for readers to create meaningful partnerships within their friendships. This approach would have translated the book's thesis into actionable steps, as I had imagined from the subtitle.

No matter. The book I read, not the book I had hoped to read or imagine now, was solid, and I have already recommended it to a couple of friends after a discussion of polyamory we had recently.

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. The world has changed - long gone are the times where everyone must marry, have kids, and follow the same old path. There are infinite ways to live a cool, fun, unique life without any of the out-dated standard checklists of the 1950's. And it's not weird anymore. It's common and normal among the new generations. I'm so, so, so happy the world has changed in these ways, and love that this book celebrates that!!

I have a couple girlfriends that I consider to be sisters. Their kids are my nieces and nephews. They are an extension of me. That’s what made this book so interesting. I felt like I was reading about different parts of my life, finally able to “define” my feelings and views about these people. It was very refreshing to read the author’s views on the subject. This book was well written, and I loved the book enough that I plan to give a copy to my girlfriends.

I was really eager to read this book however it was a bit different than I expected. I was hoping to see more about friendships outside your primary partner rather than solely examples of platonic life partners. While still fascinating to explore, I just wanted more diverse examples of friendships that can exist even when the friends have other spouses. I also wish the book went more into the resolution of the examples of conflict these partnerships experienced. All in all it was psychologically really interesting but left me wanting more.

This book provided some insight into couples counseling. While the book gave several examples of couples and issues they had, I felt the book was lacking some insight on how to resolve different issues.

I Voluntarily read and reviewed an Advanced copy of this book. All Thoughts and opinions are my own.
This book was everything I hoped for and more. It really touched on exploration of relationship in so many ways.

My partner kept asking if I was sick or crying because this book just kept me so emotionally raw the whole way through. As a person with a number of deep friendships, a queer person who came out into a world that didn’t have images that I could connect to of possible queer adulthoods, and someone who is both aromantic and polyamorous, I think a lot about what different relationship structures can offer and what their is actual cultural space for. Reading this book didn’t offer me everything I dreamed of but is a really nice pairing with Mia birdsong’s how we show up, and is what I think many people wanted Ann friedman/Aminatou Sow’s Big Friendship to be.

This is well researched and written in a beautiful way. It explores relationships we have with others besides the one you might think of at first. I loved it! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars!

This book is meant to explore how friendships can be just as meaningful and important as romantic relationships. It’s interesting to learn how they may still be considered less than or disenfranchised due to various concerns. Considering we live in a “loneliness epidemic” this book feels especially poignant now.

I really enjoyed the deep dive into unconventional friendships. The concept of the chosen family (particularly in the LGBTQ community) is well-known; that was explored in this title, but the friendship I found most compelling was the one between the straight man and the gay man who chose to live celibate due to his religious beliefs. Recommended to increase empathy for others.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This is such an important read and a useful book on this topic.

We are conditioned to rely on our partners for everything and to find a partner at all costs and it’s not healthy for us or our eventual partners. This advice will be useful in my relationships.