My heart still hurts after finishing this book last night. Grief Is for People is a memoir centered around the death of Sloane Crosley’s close friend who died by suicide. The book also focuses on the grief she experienced when her house was robbed and jewelry had been stolen. It explores the intersection of these two losses. Of coming to accept that you cannot get back what you lost.

I highly recommend Grief Is for People, but of course trigger warning on death/suicide. I don’t want to say too much more as it’s obviously a very personal work. I’ll just say that her writing is beautiful, and the book serves as a powerful and painful homage and love letter to her friend.

I love Sloane Crosley and all the humor she brings to her writing, so I was interested to see how that would translate in this incredibly personal book about a home burglary and losing a close friend to suicide. I think this was done perfectly. Her language really brings a fresh perspective to
the stages of grief and how you can lose part of yourself through other people. There’s also tons of behind the scenes stuff about the publishing industry which was fun.

My first FIVE STAR read of 2024 - this book is breathtaking. Crosley managed to relate her experience with loss in a way that resonated with me in a profound way. Maybe it's the humor she uses in one sentence followed by the next sentence that is a visceral punch to the gut that made this book so incredible. Maybe it's the profoundly-masterful writing. At one point, she described her decisions to go and do things after her loss as a swimmer pushing off of the pool wall. Can't you picture that and relate to how life is sometimes? I had to put the book down several times to absorb a beautiful sentence. I started reading it aloud because it's THAT kind of gorgeous. Brava to Sloane Crosley. Putting this on my shelf because I need to be near it at all times.

Grief is for people is an acutely observed memoir of the author wrestling with her best friends death to suicide. I have never highlighted so many sections of a memoir--since this is an ARC & the words might not be final so I won't share any quotes-- but trust me when I say she writes clearly, and devastatingly. She tackles three types of grief that are challenging, a sudden, violent, loss, taboo grief, via suicide, and grief of a best friend. At one point she talks about how they don't have grief groups for friend which reminded me of other recent books I've read that are beginning to tackle friendship as a major theme.

At times the memoir is disjointed, and lacking cohesiveness but I think that's how most grief memoirs are. It's well worth reading and I would put it on the shelf next to her oft-quoted, Joan Didion's "My Year of Magical Thinking."

Thank you to Netgalley & MCD for the Advanced Review Copy.

I loved this rumination on grief, publishing and NYC. This memoir reads like a love letter to both Crosley’s beloved best friend Russell and also to Manhattan. She is a New Yorker and she is a survivor of her best friend’s suicide. I could see Russell so clearly, and felt her anger, despair, sadness, confusion and broken heart. Some of the writing in this book absolutely took my breath away with its beauty, and brutal honesty. I really, really loved it, and hope it receives the attention it deserves.

The pairing of Crosby's wry humor and the subject of loss works well. To lose a friend via suicide is a terrible thing and a subject that reverberates through the book. Where did such a vivacious person go? Why did he do that? The book explores these questions without providing easy answers. An evocative exploration of grief and sadness

Grief is tough to write. Unless you're Joan Didion.

Did you know that emus and kangaroos cannot go backwards? It's a metaphor.

Thanks to the good folk at NetGalley for the chance to read an ARC of this book. It's worth reading.

Crosley really demonstrates the rambling nature of grief, both in style and substance. I loved how she connected these two moments in her life to show how everything in our lives is connected. Sometimes the structure was a bit confusing, but overall I really enjoyed this.

Really excellent. I loved the intertwining narratives of her losing her best friend and her jewellry being stolen. Excellent characterizations and very self reflective in a way that didn't feel gratuitous.

Sloane Crosley is such a gem—her writing is so witty, so breezy, and so funny that her insights and pearls of wisdom sneak up on you and then just punch you in the gut. This book is so sad and heartbreakingly realistic as she works through her grief for her friend and her concurrent efforts to recover her stolen jewelry.

I described this to a friend as a Gen X version of The Year of Magical Thinking. Like Didion, Crosley is trying to work through how to live with the absence of a person whose presence had become vital. The person in question is a friend and mentor who had become a sort of father-figure to Crosley. He died by suicide. Having lost a loved one to suicide, I know how hard it is to talk about and also how many people have experienced it. Crosley does, in my view, a good job of describing the loss.

This book is sad and sweet, raw and rambling, and sometimes absurd, as loss is.

Thanks to Netgalley for the advance copy.

As someone who has lost someone very close to me unexpectedly. I very much related to a lot of parts of this book. But I didn’t relate because it was of cancer and not suicide.

No two experiences of grief are alike, and Crosley’s memoir is a fittingly personal glimpse into the unpredictable ups and downs of profound loss. Frank, philosophical, and even funny at times, each page feels like someone reaching for the words and just barely finding them in time to convey their latest feeling.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this title coming out in February. This is a story of loss, grief, coping, moving on and making sense of the unthinkable. Sloane tells her story by beginning with a tragic, terrifying home burglary where some of her sentimental jewelry of her unlikable grandmothers is stolen. This experience rattles her, its traumatic but she's soon to realize that there are worse things that can happen. When her best friend in the world Russell commits suicide, with seemingly no warning or clues, Sloane is left to pick up the pieces of what she missed, what their friendship meant and how its connected to the burglary. I am not one to underline/highlight passages from books, but this book had so many moments where I was just in awe of how I connected to it with my own experiences with grief. One favorite was after dreaming of her dead friend, she wrote..." I savor the dreams as much as I dread them. they are the only way I get to hear him say new things." That gutted me, the truth of it. This is a brave, truthful and sad memoir. I loved it.

The book is divided in to five sections; each of the five sections of the book are aptly titled and framed around the five stages of grief which I thought was a clever way of formatting. This is as much a book about grief as it is a book about friendship and the imprint that one person can leave on another.
I admire the way that Crosley writes about grief, specifically, grief after losing someone to suicide. Grief is such an incredibly universal emotion yet something that we all experience so differently and it’s something that truly fascinates me.
I can appreciate this memoir for what it is and I think many people will fall in love with it but, at 65%, I am having a difficult time connecting with Crosley’s writing and the timeline of the book and so, at this moment, I will be setting it aside to possibly finish at a later time.

I was a bit skeptical about whether the author would be able to tie these two events – the theft of her grandmother's jewelry and her best friend's suicided – together in a way that would be respectful to the obviously more tragic incident, but wow, did she ever make it make sense. This is a fast and completely page-turning read, and it feels like the author is a friend telling this story to you but in the most clever, entertaining way (which helps to lessen the blow of the tragedy. You can tell she's spent a lot of time ruminating herself on how exactly to do this). Sometimes a bit too clever – I've had this issue with her essays in the past, they're just a bit too "whipsmart", I believe is the word used to describe them. Elsewhere I was really impressed with some of her turns of phrase, but overall it's just the impact of the story and how she's woven it all together. I would say it's better even not to read that much about it before reading the book, it's just better how she unspools it in the moment.

When Crosley first started comparing death to theft, I was confused. But then I quickly understood in my soul what she is doing and saying here. The title comes from a saying that Grief is for People, not things, but/and Crosley adds a whole lot to this conversation. As someone grieving a loss right now, this was a balm to my soul. I laughed and I cried and I am buying a hard copy to give to my sister. Its that kind of book.

Major thanks to NetGalley and MCD for providing me an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest thoughts:

If Nora Ephron wrote Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking.

When we talk about grief, we talk about Didion's more personal works. Crosley references a book club on reading Didion:

"..𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳.. 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘋𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘯’𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥. 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦, 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘪𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘋𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 '𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨' 𝘩𝘦𝘳."

Didion means a great deal to Crosley with the press work at Vintage and because of the talk they shared for the New York Public Library.

When we lose someone, I think we all run to Didion. Because she was always so articulate about how she dealt with grief. And I honestly feel bad for those who don't see it.

If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, you don’t. If you know, you know. And if you don’t know like I honestly feel bad for you. I cannot explain it. I don’t have the vocabulary to sit here and explain it. You get the vibe or you don’t get the vibe.

We all deal with grief differently, and here Crosley creates emotional balance in sadness and humor to levy out the emotional drainage that is the grieving process. With so much heart, so much yearning, I can already imagine the endless pages that went on and on about how much she loved her friend, how much of a character he was, how much he meant to her, the world, and the way the world moves. How do we conceive a world without the people we love the most?

In jewel heist and hot insider tea in the publishing-sphere, Crosley creates an honest account of all the way the heart aches when we lose a great love like this.

She just gets it. The pain. How much it hurts. The blue that comes after. The days. Long ass days. But also the bursts of humor that need to happen. Humor happens to edit down on the big blue. Because what does Didion say about blue nights? Something about the dying of the brightness? Crosley, ten-fold forward, is after the opposite, the dying of the brightness.

The living of the brightness.

I'll end with this Didion reference from the book:

"𝘐𝘯 The Year of Magical Thinking, 𝘋𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴: '𝘈 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺.' 𝘈𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

Loved reading this. Crosley's language and storytelling is fresh, and this is a compelling dive into grief. Will recommend to friends.

I'd like to re-read this annually. What a stunning, moving, brilliant, witty book. A book on loss, grief, defining yourself, defining oneself against a best friend--- everything we lose when we lose someone we love, including the way they saw us