I thought this was really well written and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future. I think it will find readers at our library, so we will definitely be purchasing for the collection.

This is the kind of book college me wishes I had. As an adult I still found so much of it relatable! Rallo is such a joy and her writing reflects that

Clearly the writer has found her niche audience and it works. I just wasn't that audience. Thank you for sending this to me!

oof.

I have MANY thoughts about this book, hardly any of them good. Two stars was generous, imo.

I am admittedly not the target audience for this book, but wanted to read it because I follow Eli on TikTok and love her sense of humor. I was interested to dive into her writing and read about her experiences.

The biggest problem with this book for me was the fact that's it's a self-help guide. I guess I wrongly assumed that it was more of a memoir or a collection of meaningful/humorous essays about the author's life. But it has Eli's rules and tips and tricks for dating, sex, and relationships. But to me, being an influencer or TikTok personality (or even going to j-school) doesn't qualify you for offering that kind of advice. And not only is the author giving advice I don't believe she is qualified to give (um, she's 25!), I think much of it is not just unwarranted, it's reckless. I don't think Eli is the right person to be writing this book, and reading much of the "advice" she gives made me upset. Not just because I don't agree with it -- most of it is just mantras/advice that isn't fully-formed or ultimately helpful. She's 25. It's immature twenty-something thoughts. Just because she's been around on dating apps doesn't mean she's the go-to expert. The book even existing doesn't make sense to me. If we want Eli to write a book, make it essays about her experiences, not professions of knowledge or expertise. I really, above all, think this book is irresponsible.

Also, the writing is so reminiscent of Pinterest-graphic quotes that are flowery and don't actually mean anything. For example, she says "It's in the moments we stop pressuring ourselves to be loved that we become loved." What? What does that even mean? It's aspirational, but doesn't end up saying much. It's shallow-level execution and even though the author seems to be saying "be okay being single!" by the end of the book, I don't think the author convinced us of that at all. She still gushes about her relationship (which, fine, we're glad you're happy), but don't make your whole schtick about loving yourself as an individual (she even says "being single is a final destination") while still very holding onto and trusting in relationships to validate her. The message wasn't there and I'm not buying what she's selling.

Also, this book is a viewpoint that is *extremely* privileged. It's got cis-het white girl all over it and it's honestly icky. The author doesn't thoroughly (or even more more than an extremely brief surface-level mention) acknowledge this. It's almost tone-deaf. Again, why are we wanting HER to write this book?? It really puts dating woes as the most "harrowing" experiences of her (and assuming the readers) lives, when they're not? Like, there is so much going on in the world and our rejection on a dating app isn't the end-all, be-all of life, happiness, or our focus? I think more thought and intention needs to be put into the kinds of books this publisher puts out. You can do better.

Overall, I wanted this book stopped or altered WAY BACK at the beginning of this process, or at the very least, edited within an inch of its life. ("For a while I felt a little like a flat, forgotten water bottle in a backpack." Is this the best simile we can do??)

I acknowledge that anyone writing a book should be applauded, because man, that's a big job and really admirable. But this book should stay for the author's personal memoir or majorly fixed. I cannot, for many reasons, recommend this book to anyone.

Thank you to William Morrow and Netgalley for the e-ARC in exchange for my honest, unbiased review.

Thank you to NetGalley, author Eli Rallo, and William Morrow-- Harvest for providing me with a free ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!

I want to preface this review by saying that as a lesbian who is in a 4-year long committed relationship, I am not necessarily the target audience for this book. I do enjoy watching Eli's Tik Toks though, so I was interested in picking up the book, even knowing going in that I wasn't the target audience in some ways. I did enjoy her chapters on friendship love and relationships because I was able to relate to those. I also enjoyed reading about her dating experiences, as I feel she has the same candid voice that comes across in her social media. However, because I am not actively dating, and I'm not a heterosexual woman, unfortunately most of the book did not resonate with me. This is not a bad thing, as not all books need to resonate to enjoy, but for a self-help/advice book, I wasn't able to gain much from it due to my personal experience. Would I have enjoyed this book in my early 20s while dating (even when I was dating women)? Maybe. One of the biggest issues for me personally is I am the exact same age as Eli, so even though we had different dating experiences in some ways, I had pretty much the same dating/college timeline as she did. This made it hard for me to personally read because when she was talking about dating in her early 20s, I have already been through that at the exact same time she did, so it just wasn't resonating with me in the present day at all. I don't think this is a bad book overall; I think there is an audience out there for it, but I do think it is a slightly limited audience of young women (primarily cis, heterosexual women) in their early 20s that will enjoy this book. The advice found within is well-meaning, but a bit repetitive and generic, so I can't see women over 25 resonating with it even if they are actively dating simply due to maturity/life experiences learned along the way. My rating reflects more of this sentiment and less of my personal experience reading this book. I would pick up work by Rallo in the future, as I think she has potential for her voice to grow and create new audiences as we both continue to experience life.

4.5
I really enjoyed reading this book. Eli's voice was light and conversational and it was easy to picture the different points of her journey. I loved how each section started with a set of rules and Eli dove into her own life experiences. This was also relatable since we're close in age and I felt like she understood the generation well. It was insightful and I felt like I learned a lot but also felt connected to her as a person. As far as non-fiction goes, this was light, fun, and fully worth the read! Thank you to William Morrow for sending me an e-ARC of this to read and review!

This was the stupidest book I’ve ever read.

As a married, religious, old soul kinda woman, I do not understand why I was picked to received and advanced copy of this book. Why did I apply for it? Because my best friend said “hey I saw this book on tiktok, read it and tell me if it’s any good??”

First off, I have to say I love the cover. That’s what the one start was. The cover. The rest of it however… oh my lord almighty. The intro is where I started my hatred for this book. Author, I don’t want to know about your sex life, I don’t care who you dated, I don’t need your advice, especially when it’s not really advice, it’s just telling stories about yourself. This book isn’t an advice book it is a book about the author. About half way into the intro I was like who is this girl??? I have never heard of her. So of course I go to her insta. What do I see?? Of course a white girl!!!

This book is about how to sleep around and how to cope when that doesn’t work out. This book is how to life a great suburban white girl life. This book is all the advice you “didn’t know you needed” but guess what, you don’t actually need it. It’s an insult to womanhood, but mostly, this book is only about Ali Rallo. So if you want to read a book about her, then it’s great.

Thanks NetGalley for the advanced copy I guess.

As the title states, I really didn't know I needed this. I mean I am happily married for almost 4 years now, so the dating aspect does not apply to me, but I wish I had this book back when I was dating. I will definitely recommend this book for circulation at my library once its published.

In this tender, vulnerable, funny debut, Eli Rallo gives us tips for first dates, fostering friendships, and falling in love with ourselves.
One of the most magical parts of this book is seeing Rallo’s evident love for prose. She strings together sentences with intentionality and reverence.
I was also surprised by how incredibly funny and witty the book was. I caught myself laughing and reading specific passages out loud to whoever was nearby.
Some may say I’m biased, and I will be the first to agree that I am. I am lucky to call Rallo a good friend, but I was surprised by how much I still learned about this incredible woman in this book. It’s essays; it’s self-help; it’s catchy to-do lists and everything in between. I, also, didn’t know I needed this.

"I Didn't Know I Needed This" by Eli Rallo is a fun book filled with advice for college aged students and 20-somethings alike. Within the book, Rallo creates lists of "rules" to follow when dating and finding yourself, that may be very helpful to young women who do not have an older sister or mother to tell them these things.

My main issues with the book were that the writing can be very choppy and repetitive at times, and some of the advice and anecdotes come off as immature.

Overall, this book would make a great gift for the college aged girl or 20-something in your life.

Combining lists of “rules” for certain events in life and spinning beautiful anecdotes into golden advice, Rallo‘s “I didn’t know I needed this“ is a must have for any girl in her 20s. While I read it as I would any other book for the purpose of reviewing, I recommend this as a shelf staple to refer to throughout life, whether you need a reminder of your own worth as well as to serve as advice from an older sister for all those of us who don't have one. Reading this book was an experience akin to sitting on your bed with a girlfriend, chatting about everything you've gone through and done, offering each other advice. This book was girlhood. It's standing in the girl's bathroom and hearing someone shout "DON'T TEXT YOUR EX!" It is laughter, it is tears, it is a love letter to love itself. I Didn't Know I Needed This may be marketed as a book designed for dating or relationship advice—and don't get me wrong, it is—but it is also a story of how our best friends can be our true soulmates, and how we all can gain a new appreciation for the love and support we already have in our lives. Highly recommend as a must have for any girl looking for the advice she didn’t know she needed ;).