Loved the book overall and felt like I learned a lot about recent history. I didn't fully understand the relationship dynamics between the three main male characters. The interactions moved from idol to mentor to friend and moved back and forth among those dynamics, and perhaps that is the point, that relationships and positions of power change over time, but it was a little perplexing for me as a reader, I cared about the characters, worried for them, felt drawn into the book. Great writing.

A moving book full of complicated relationships, friendships, and history. It is well-written but took me a while to get through, a bit slow at points. Interesting story about a man in exile.

3.5 stars. An interesting coming-of-age story, focusing on Khaled from Benghazi, who goes to study abroad in Edinburgh. He takes part in a demonstration against Qaddafi and as a consequence, he seeks asylum in England and thus far removed from his family and friends. While I got somewhat bogged down with the storytelling at points, the novel is beautifully written (although it took me a bit to get used to the author’s writing style) and empathetically portrays this period of Libyan history and how the then current affairs affected Khaled and two of his friends (Mustafa and Hosam) basically exiled away from home.

Beautifully written story about friendship, exile and finding yourself in the world. This new novel by Pulitzer Prize winning author Hisham Matar is about a singular character, a man named Khaled; but the story encompasses the conflicts in Libya, the fear of those living under the dictatorship and of the need for people everywhere to find their place in the world. Khaled is only 14 when sitting with his family in his home in Benghazi a respected journalist decides to read a short story over the radio instead of the news. The short story is about a man who is being eaten by his pet cat and the story stayed with Khaled for many years until he befriended the author himself.

At age 18, Khaled went away to Edinburgh for college and met his friend Mustafa. While he loved the world of books and learning, he missed his family and felt watched by the students who were paid to keep tabs on their fellow Libyans. When Mustafa talks Khaled into attending a political rally at the Libya embassy, both men are badly wounded with Khaled almost losing his life. From that point on, Khaled feels lost, he cannot return home and he cannot return to his university. Instead he makes his life in London, one friend at a time ,one decision at a time. Khaled reflects on his life when at age 50, he sees his friend and the author of the short story, Hosam off at the train station. I found Khaled's life often sad and lonely, but also hopeful. He found a family of friends to care for him when he could not return to his own family and he allowed himself to be content with what he had. For me, the story ended on a hopeful note and I was glad to have met Khaled and heard his story. Thank You to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this story in exchange for a review.

This story brings realism to the life of Khaled and his two close friends, Mustafa and Hosam, who participated in the revolution against Qaddafi’s empire in Libya.

It starts when Khaled was a young boy inspired by a story he heard on the radio about a cat that ate parts of a man – piece by piece. The only thing left was his head and torso which sounded like a bad dream to me. This man wasn’t able to fight back. Hosam also wrote a book which Khaled referred to several times. It was banned in almost all the Arab countries. Later by coincidence, Khaled met the author, Hosam, and they became instant friends.

Khaled was taking classes at the University of Edinburgh where he met Mustafa, also from Libya. They decided to participate in a protest in London against Qaddafi and were sent to the hospital after getting shot. Both healed along with a few others under tight security. This changed the course of their lives.

So many of us know very little about the history of Libya. I read this story slowly as there was much to digest. Khaled and his family and friends suffered from the emotional pain of what was happening in their country with the kidnappings, assassinations and too much blood on the streets. It gave me a grim look of what can happen when a country has a revolution and dictator in control. “How do you escape the demands of unreasonable men?”

The book is certainly thought provoking in many ways. The author’s strength is telling stories of the people. It almost felt like a memoir by Khaled with all the joys and deep concerns of life. He wrote about their families, love relationships, and struggles with the civil war. The characters: Khaled, Mustafa and Hosam were very believable in my mind with the strong bonds between them.

My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book with an expected release date of January 9, 2024.

This novel is a fictional memoir, a lyrically written character study of a Libyan exile living in London. Right away, I was very impressed by Hisham Matar’s writing and so I was not surprised to discover that his previous work has won a Pulitzer. I knew very little about Libya before starting this book and I would recommend it to anyone interested in learning more. I found myself looking up its history in order to better understand the events, becoming more and more appalled by being reminded of the evil that undemocratic regimes do in order to keep power. I don’t enjoy character studies so after about 30% I felt that it just wasn’t for me; the subject matter was also too dark for me to handle right now. If you enjoy beautifully written character studies, if you are interested in learning more about Libya, and if you want to know more about the life of an exile, then definitely give this book a try.

Wow! A very impressive and in depth story about family, exile and the pressures and perils of life. It’s always insightful to learn about how people live and work in different parts of the world, in this case, Libya.

Wasn't for me. Nothing wrong with it per se. It is a perfectly fine book that has an interesting plot and interesting characters. I just couldn't get into it. It didn't speak to me, it didn't move me. It very extraordinarily flat to me. I found it to be a bit cliche and at times too overly emotional. In a certain sense it seemed kind of stereotypical. I also just think that there are too many other books out there of its same ilk that I think do a better job for me to have a better opinion of it.

My Friends is a beautifully moving book about family, friendship and the effect of war and conflict on all aspects of someone's life. The story revolves around Khaled, who as a young man decides to leave Libya to study at the University of Edinburgh. Very shortly after arriving a friend persuades him to attend a rally in London. In an instant Khaled's life is permanently altered and he finds himself in exile in the UK.
As Khaled struggles with where to make his home, and how to find himself many others come into his life offering varying degrees of love, support, advice and friendship. It is through these relationships that Khaled learns who he is and what is important to him.
The prose is beautiful, almost poetic in its straightforward nature. The book definitely covers some tough subjects and can be difficult at times, but it in the end it is a survival story. A survival story that reminds us that to survive we need people on our side and in our corner. Khaled uses his friends to find his true self and live authentically. You will be better for having read this book.

A lovely and devastating novel of love and loss, pain and attachment, from a master craftsman. This aching tale of emigration, family, politics and literature perhaps starts a little dryly but soon finds its feet, telling of Khalid’s physical wounding in the Libyan Embassy shooting incident in London and the exile that event delivers. Seeking home and connection, he finds much in the friendship of two friends, long relationships which embrace translation, meditation, war and eventual peace. This novel is often abstract, but always lyrical, offering, in its sensitivity, much of the nature of apartness and reconciliation. Very impressive.

My Friends, by Hisham Matar, is a thoughtful, deeply personal character study illuminating the inner life of an exiled Libyan man living in London. The book is fictional, although it reads like a memoir, and is based on historical events. The writing is exquisite, with the author masterfully revealing what it means to live a life in exile, poignantly describing the resilience necessary to exchange the comfort of a life in the arms of family, homeland, and history for a future filled with uncertainty, loss, and a constant fear of betrayal.

I found the first third of the book compelling, reading compulsively to learn what would befall young Khaled and his friend Mustafa, forcing them into exile in London. The pace of the book slowed dramatically for the remaining two-thirds, however. Perhaps this was intentional on the author’s part, as Khaled experienced the emotional struggles of settling into a life in exile for the long term.

While the book isn’t directly about the politics of Libya and the Arab Spring revolution, some basic knowledge would be helpful for readers. I didn’t have the requisite background knowledge, so I spent some time Googling to “catch up.”

Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. The book will be published on January 9 2024.

Hisham Matar, in continuing his trajectory that started with "In the Country of Men" describes his years in exile and his friendship with two Libyan compatriots in London. It is a brave book in that it explores all the conflicting dilemmas one feels with regard to returning and knowing that no one is safe in the shadow of dictatorship. Matar also captures his love of books, his identity as well as his father's, rooted in learning. What impact does years of exile have on identity? How do the realities of exile affect memory? How to mediate time as a factor?
Although it is a bit slow going at times, frankly, I could not put the book down.

My Friends is a novel that takes the reader on a powerful and emotional journey. It is a moving exploration of the ever-changing possibilities of friendships as they evolve throughout a lifetime. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed reading this book and was absorbed by the depth and complexity of the characters. There is a lot to reflect upon after finishing this. I look forward to reading more work by Hisham Matar.

Thank you to Random House and Netgalley for the advanced reader's copy.

This review will be posted on Goodreads and Amazon upon publication.

This was a book I did not want to end and I savored each beautifully written word. This is the story of loss, a story of friendship, a story of family, a story of exile, and it is told is a such an incredibly compelling way.

I grew to love Khaled deeply. He made me think about my privilege. He made me think about what kind of friend am I. He made me think about making others welcome... always.

I do not want to give the story away, but it spans years... years in exile, years worrying about being found, worrying about his family, and forging a new family with his friends.

This is a book that I won't stop thinking about and I highly recommend it!

I would like to thank Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group for the copy of this book.

What complicated friendships and life this man had, just shows you how a simple choice can change your life for the better or worse. The book was well written, but at times just boring, not something I looked forward to reading.

The simple title My Friends belies the powerful strength and beauty of friendship that Hisham Matar so eloquently and astonishingly writes about. The relationships in the book among family and friends are almost effervescent in their depth, and they are moving and heart rending.

The three friends, Khaled, Mustafa, and Hosham (a brilliant, quixotic writer) are from Libya, and when Mustafa and Khaled are living in London, they attend a rally against the Libyan government during which Khaled is grievously shot and Mustafa is also wounded. Khaled, 18 at the time, spends a long time recovering in the hospital, and he is unable to come to terms with this attack on him. His parents, of whom he is terribly fond, beg him to come back to Libya, but as he still tries to heal physically and to heal his attitude, he is unable to move forward in spite of the death of Qaddafi.

Khaled spends 27 years yearning for Libya and his family, and he seems lost and wandering between a longing for his homeland and his family. The richness of his life wraps around books and politics, a confusion that is interspersed with the brutal war in Libya.

The absolute beauty of this book builds as the years that Khaled lives in London keep him there, tied to the lives of his missing friends and family. It is impossible to put this book aside as it ties emotions and love tightly together.

Thank you to Penguin Random House and Net Gallery for the opportunity to read this amazing book. It is highly recommended.

Hisham Matar has written a deep and evocative novel about the complicated nature of male friendship, country and home, family and obligation, exile, and the sweeping power of history to change the direction of a life.

Although the novel spans decades in the lives of Khaled, the narrator, and his friends Mustafa and Hosam, it takes place in a single evening walk home after Khaled has seen Hosam board the train from London to Paris. It is a ruminative novel, told as if we were walking alongside Khaled on his walk through London and he were speaking out loud, mulling over the twists and turns of his life and the lives of his friends.

It is a novel of questions and reassessments, a novel of what-ifs. Matar has Khaled go over his life to understand the course it took once it was violently assimilated into the struggle against the Libyan regime. Khaled measures his reactions to the events of that struggle against those of his friends. Did he do enough? Was he too fearful, too reluctant, too selfish? Khaled would have preferred to live a life much like his father's, a life of intellect and literature, a life that did not attract the attention of regimes. A simple, safe, somewhat fulfilling life. But circumstances and small choices combine to set him on a collision course with history. Years later, he is still haunted by the memories, asking himself the difficult questions on a long walk home.

In Khaled, Mustafa, and Hosam, Matar has created complex and very human characters. Their interactions are never the same; friendships are complicated. Sometimes they are easy, emotions and attitudes are in sync, and the bond is palpable. At other times, the relationship can annoy or antagonize, the person you thought was a friend can appear an enemy or a stranger. It has been a long time since I've read a contemporary novel that presents male friendship at its center. These three men form bonds of love and brotherhood that survive distance, politics, and even history. Although at the end they are separated by distance, they each carry a part of one another.

Thanks to Random House (Jaylen) and NetGalley for an ARC of this wonderful novel.

A devastating and beautifully written novel. Very well written. Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced read.

In the early 1980’s, as the narrator is a teenager in Libya, he and his family listen to news about Libya not from local news stations but from London based BBC broadcasts. Qaddafi’s policies of torture and murder for Libyan dissidents have led to the departure from the country of all outspoken press and critics, and this is the chilling backdrop as My Friends begins. Soon, Khaled, the narrator, is a fortunate participant in a government approved program to attend university in Edinburgh, and is leaving home for the first time. We hear his father speak the universal message of countless parents sending off their adolescents, .. don’t get involved with bad friends or activities. The first third of this novel moves fairly quickly and suspensefully toward an unknown disaster and its immediate aftermath that the reader likely anticipates from that early warning. As a result of the incident, the paths of Khaled, the narrator, and his two closest friends, are changed forever. After this point, the momentum slows considerably, and the novel becomes a reflection on the emotional struggles in the past, present and future lives of these three exiled Libyans and their connections to their birth country. The book moves forward and back in time, and focuses increasingly on the Libyan political atmosphere and discontent during Qaddafi’s reign. Despite beautiful writing, and vivid, rich, emotional passages, the novel is heavy and meandering for much of the remainder. While this may have been deliberate to reflect the narrator’s anguished state of mind, it was harder to maintain interest. Had I been more familiar with this period of Libyan history, or had the novel offered more insight into daily life during the dictatorship, this section of the novel might have been more engaging. As a whole, this was a beautiful story of the ways in which youthful events and friendships can have dramatic, lifelong effects.

Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for this ARC.

A beautiful story about the power of words, friendship, and the concept of "home."

Can you ever really return home once you've left? At 18, a spur-of-the-moment decision forces Khaled into permanent exile from his family in Libya. The people rise up and dictatorships fall, but Khaled stays in London, unmoored--a person without a home who finds home in literature and friends who also live under the constant threat of discovery.

Matar writes, "[T]hough Benghazi was the one place I longed for the most, it was also the place I most feared to return to. The life I have made for myself here is held together by a delicate balance. I must hold onto it with both hands."

Matar's language and imagery are evocative and emotional, but man does this guy love long sentences. Another excerpt, on the same theme as the above: "[W]hat I want to return to I cannot return to because the place and I have changed and what I have built here might be feeble and meek, but it took everything I had and I fear if I leave I will not have the will to return and then I will be lost again and I have been lost before and will do everything not to be that again and that I do not know if it is cowardly or courageous and I do not care and I have decided without deciding, because it is my only option, to keep to the days, to sleep when it is good for me to sleep and wake in good time to attend to my work and the people who depend on me."

Normally this would turn me off, but instead it make me reread these passages to truly intuit the feeling behind them--to make sure I didn't miss anything along the journey. When Khaled feels lost, we can feel it in these long-winded sentences. We cannot stop to take a breath because neither can he.