“People choose, every day, to be lovers, to be friends, to be family. You seem to love your best friend a lot. Bottom line: You don’t need to change a thing.”

Dear Wendy follows Sophie Chi and Jo Ephron, two first-year students at Wellesley College, as they navigate university life, friendship, independence, identity, and what it means to love and be loved as aromantic, asexual individuals.
Sophie is an expert in relationship advice, (despite the fact that she’s long accepted her aroace identity) and shares her advice often on her incredibly popular “Dear Wendy” Instagram account. She’s a total Wendy too– stereotypical Wellesley student, always on time, a little neurotic (in a fun way!), and always looking to learn. She runs into trouble, though, when a competing advice account– “Sincerely Wanda” emerges and turns love life advice into a huge joke. Little does she know, Wanda is really Jo– the cool girl she’s been befriending in class. The stronger their friendship grows, the deeper the feud. Can Sophie and Jo still remain friends when the truth bubbles up?
This book is a beautifully written love letter to platonic devotion, community, and self-acceptance, and I feel lucky to have happened upon it. It’s a love story without romance and truly full of passion, and heart. I laughed, I cried, and I felt so incredibly seen

Luckily for Jo March enthusiasts, enjoyers of Alice Oseman’s Loveless, and anyone who has ever wished to live out their lives with their best friends, a stack of books, a cat, and no long-term romantic commitments, Dear Wendy is out this week!

Thank you to NetGalley and Ann Zhao for the arc!

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley and am voluntarily posting a review. All opinions are my own.
Dear Wendy has been one of my most anticipated reads for the first half of 2024, and I’m happy to say it blew me away. In a similar vein to Alice Oseman’s Loveless (which is also referenced in-text), it explores the nuances of aroace rep in a beautiful way, and while it doesn’t claim to be the definitive representation for a spectrum of experiences, it provides a window into what it can look like for some people in the community.
Zhao not only pulls from her own experiences as an Asian aroace person, but also infuses the experience of being a Wellesley College student into the narrative as well. While the topics will still likely be recognizable for young people who are in or have been to college, I loved the little nuances of Wellesley College life, including the prominence of the advice columns and their influence on student life.
And speaking of the advice columns, I love the way these are conveyed. With both Sophie and Jo being the columnists in question, there is some inclusion of these columns and their online interactions in the body of the chapters themselves, and their respective reactions to each other, but I also liked seeing the little interstitial bits showing the slightly different styles two the Wendy and Wanda pages in their own right, along with mock-ups of Instagram Stories highlighting some of their back-and-forths beyond the banter in the comments sections.
As for the characters and their relationship, I loved them. Sophie and Jo are simultaneously very similar, being aroace and having several queer friends, meaning they quickly bond in real life, but they also have some differing opinions when it comes to romance and providing advice for others, as shown in their online interactions. It makes for a fun juxtaposition, and a heartfelt aroace subversion of a common romcom trope. Their secret identities provide a bump in the road for their friendship with each other, as does an attempt to invalidate their advice on-campus due to their aroace identities being revealed. But despite their initial frustration and hurt feelings, I loved seeing how they came together at the end and resolved things, both on a “professional” level and for the sake of their blossoming queerplatonic bond.
I absolutely adored this book, and it gave me all the feels. While it’s not a romance in the “traditional” sense, I’d absolutely recommend it if you’re open to something somewhat adjacent to the genre that pays homage to those tropes through an aroace queerplatonic lens.

i wish i was one of the people that enjoyed this book, because we desperately need more novels that feature aro/ace characters. i'm a bit sad that i didn't enjoy this one as much as everyone else did, since it seems i'm a minority here - so, by all means, do give “dear wendy” a try, especially if you think you'll relate to these characters.

i think i've simply outgrown YA or maybe this reads more like a middle-grade, because the characters felt very juvenile - and they're supposed to be in college.


the writing style was okay, not overly poetic, but not simple either. i think the dialogue was a bit forced at times & some of the jokes that the characters found funny completely missed the mark for me, but maybe that's just a me problem. at times, the story felt either too slow or too rushed and i almost considered dnf-ing because, when there wasn't any action, the characters weren't interesting enough to hold my attention by themselves, which sucks. the story just felt insanely long, since nothing was happening for a good chunk of it.

to be completely honest, sometimes i had to go back and check whose pov i'm reading, because i thought sophie and jo had quite similar voices at times. i did like sophie more than i liked jo, mainly because she was somewhat written like a college student, while jo read more like she's still in high-school. i didn't really liked their online personas either, since most of the “friendly banter” was them being straight-up malicious to each other. even if the characters were aware it wasn't that serious - i mean, you're fighting over an instagram account, they still managed to blow it out of proportion. the big reveal of the story felt so pointless, because it was all one big miscommunication and then all the characters chose to behave like children. who has this much time on their hands while in college, especially in their first year?

overall, “dear wendy” is a good book if you're looking for rep and are in the mood for a quick “feel-good” type of read. however, this simply wasn't the book for me, as i didn't really connect with the characters because they felt younger than the age they were and i found the main conflict a bit too petty for my taste. please don't let this review stop you from giving it a go, if it sounds like a book you'd like.

Thoughts and Themes: There was so much for me to love throughout this book, from the beginning the first thought I had was Ace main character! Ace Main Character! This part of the story meant a lot to me as someone who identifies as Demisexual/Demiromantic. I haven't really read books that have asexual or aromantic characters, so I was pleased to find this one.

Something that I really enjoyed about this book is that we don't get a forced romance between our main characters. From the start I was hopeful that at most we got a Queer platonic relationship between the two of them and nothing more. I will leave this up to you to continue reading to find out what happens between our two main characters.

Characters: In this book you are introduced to our two main characters, Jo and Sophie, along with their online personas, Wendy and Wanda. You also get to meet their roommates, Priya, Lianne, and Katy, along with Priya's girlfriend, Izzy. Along with their friends you also get to meet both of their families, some of the other students at their school, and a professor.

I really enjoyed meeting each of the characters that are introduced throughout this book even if you briefly get to know them. I really enjoyed the relationship that Sophie has with her professor because it shows how important faculty/staff at colleges are to student's development.

I also really enjoyed getting to know Jo and Sophie and their friendship shifting as they got to know each other and found secrets about each other out. I really liked how they just seemed to understand each other and how important that was to both of them. I liked that it was more than just them being ace/aro that brought them together and how it just felt easy. I have found friends that way and it reminded me of those moments and I enjoyed seeing both of their fears about their friendship.

Writing Style: This book is written in first person going back and forth from the perspectives of Jo and Sophie. You also get to read through the Instagram posts of Wendy and Wanda, along with the comments on those posts. I really liked the way that this story was told and how the posts were included throughout. Each of the chapters were no more than 5 pages at most which made it easy to go through.

An aro/ace coming of age story centered on college and online spaces

Plot: 3/5
The pacing of the plot works pretty well and though it is predictable, it plays out in a satisfying way. I had a hard time feeling the gravity of the situations.
I think this story would be really valuable for elder high school students or college kids. I'm 25 and I do read YA often but this book definitely feels like it is specifically trying to be helpful to the "actual" YA demographic which made it miss for me. Which is not a fault of the book, it's doing it's purpose.

Characters: 4/5
I really enjoyed both the main characters and their dynamic. They both had different aro/ace experiences and that really informed both of their personalities.
Considering the importance of the side characters on the plot, they didn't have a lot of individual character, I kept forgetting who was who.

Writing: 4/5
Zhao's writing as a debut author is very strong, she captures voice really well. I think Zhao focused a little too much on the little details and it felt like stuff I just didn't need to know (the stand out moment of this was Sophie making a flyer on Canva). I think I would have liked more grand scheme descriptions to visualize the campus or the setting versus so much action description.

Overall: 3.5 (rounded up)
A wonderful aro/ace story that I think will help so many people!

Online, Sophie and Jo are rival relationship advice accounts, but offline they are classmates who are becoming close friends. Throughout the story, there are pop culture references to other aroace stories, such as Loveless by Alice Oseman, and popular music artists such as Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. I loved the dual perspectives and seeing how Sophie and Jo were in their respective friend groups and be able to see them interact with each other and get into their minds. It was a refreshing story about two people falling in (platonic) love and growing into themselves throughout the course of the book.

The story itself reads young, definitely for those going from young adult and transitioning to new adult. For those who are knowledgeable about LGBTQIA+ identities, it does feel repetitive having them defined constantly; however, I could see someone who's not well-versed being overwhelmed with all of the nuanced identities that are represented.

Overall, it was a light, enjoyable read. I especially enjoyed the acknowledgements (IYKYK) and look forward to recommending this book going forward!

Sophie and Jo are first years at the same college. They are both figuring out how best to fit in when they are different than most other people at school. Although they don't know it, they have something else in common: they are each the secret author of Instagram accounts that offer relationship advice to their classmates. Sophie's account is serious and informed by research, while Jo's account is often sarcastic. Both like nothing more than to make fun of the other account. While the two are frequently engaged in an online battle (without knowing who they are feuding with), Sophie and Jo meet in class and soon become real-life friends. But as their accounts become increasingly popular, the risk of their identities becoming known also increases—and with it, a potential ending to a friendship each has come to treasure.

This is a well-written book with strong characters and a charming story. Both perceptive and funny, it is a moving exploration of early adulthood.

Highly recommended.

In addition to the normal disclaimer that I received a free copy of the book, I do feel the need to disclaim (but really mostly to brag) that I do know Ann. I am a very proud person-who-exchanges-Instagram-DMs-with-her-sometimes. But I promise all the bias in my review only comes from the same places it usually does, which is just me being very opinionated.

The plot of Dear Wendy is most easily described as a platonic You’ve Got Mail. When Sophie and Jo, two freshmen at Wellesley College, create dueling love-advice accounts on Instagram (Dear Wendy and Dear Wanda respectively), they find themselves in an online feud, while simultaneously a friendship grows between them in real life. They meet in an intro gender studies class, and end up hitting it off when they realize they are both aroace. Soon they are making plans to do what all college students do: grabbing meals together in the dining hall and starting an organization for a-spec students. But their fledgling friendship is threatened by the secrets they keep from one another and the growing intensity of their online arguments.

One of the things that make this novel such a delight to read is that we get dual POVs from Sophie and Jo, each of who has a very distinct voice. Sophie is a type-A people-pleaser, known at Wellesley as a “Wendy,” who admits “I think Jo would get a bad impression if they learned that I was widely known for being aloof and bitchy and too much of a teacher’s pet, even if half the students at our college are also aloof, bitchy teacher’s pets.” She takes her role of advice Instagrammer very seriously, doing extensive research and crafting responses. She can’t stand when Dear Wanda is flippant, even if it probably is a joke. 

Meanwhile, Jo is a total “Wanda,” a type-B personality, who is a little more chaotic and messy. Jo is also struggling a lot with how to approach her friendships. She is really good friends with her two roommates, but is scared they will both leave her when they get partners. Jo had some really bad experiences with their friends in high school, and has some internalized aphobia which makes them feel like they will ultimately be left alone. So forging a relationship with Sophie and other a-spec students at Wellesley ends up being an incredibly important part of her growth.

Something a discerning reader of this review will have noticed is that Jo uses she/they pronouns. They are still trying to figure out what their gender is exactly, and a lot of their thoughts were something I found to be completely relatable. They are comfortable being in a majority-women environment, but also don’t quite feel that the woman label fits. I knew going in that aroace identities would be explored, but I didn’t know I would also get an added bonus of gender identity! 

Of course, a-spec identities are one of the main themes of the book. Sophie and Jo both interact with their aroace identities differently, and I think Zhao makes it really clear that these are two people’s experiences of a-spec identity, they do not represent everyone’s identity, just the two characters whose stories she set out to tell. But I think that just emphasizes how important it is to have another piece of a-spec literature out there.

And I have to say, I love how much this book focused on friendship. Friendship in college (and adulthood in general) is genuinely really hard! You say “we should grab lunch sometime” and then you never do. You mean to keep talking to those people from class after the semester ends, but school tends to get in the way. Sophie and Jo both have friends already, but they are also struggling through the experience of making friends post-orientation. It is a complicated process that I can attest took up way more of my thought and time in college than dating ever did. 

However, please do not get the impression that this book is overly serious. There is so much lightheartedness and humor to be had. Reading the Dear Wendy vs Dear Wanda account beef was so funny. I always love multimedia stories, so the inclusion of the Instagram posts and comments was such a fun way to show how the drama was spreading outside of Sophie and Jo's circle, and just how big their fight was getting. Sophie and Jo both have some pretty snarky senses of humor, which lead to lots of actual laughing out loud on my part. Their lives are equally filled with schoolwork and shenanigans.

As one of a relatively smaller number of reviewers who can speak on it, I also feel like I do really have to commend Ann for so accurately capturing the Wellesley atmosphere. I need everyone to understand that is exactly what drama at Wellesley is like. And I love that it reflects how many of us feel: Wellesley is not a perfect place, it has a lot of things to improve on. But it is also a really special place that many people consider home. I certainly read this book at a time when I was really missing Wellesley, and getting to be immersed in the world of Dear Wendy for a few hours felt like being back at Wellesley with my own friends. 

Dear Wendy is a charming addition to the growing body of YA literature set in college, as well as the queer YA canon. The novel thoughtfully explores friendship, allonormativity, gender, and finding your passions. It is a perfect read for anyone who loves a coming of age story, and wishes there were more books that focused on the importance of friendship in our lives.

so heartfelt and so funny! i love how it shows how powerful and life changing platonic love can be! it’s such an important story and i can’t wait to have my own physical copy one day!

I was so excited to read this YA book with not just one but two aroace MCs and it was soo good!🤩 It was such a perfect friend-com(is that right?😆) with amazing characters and a wonderful platonic love story. I wish there had been more books like these when I was in my teens but I'm so happy they're getting published now!

Sophie Chi is a first year student at Wellesley College and has a popular Instagram page called 'Dear Wendy' where she gives relationship advice to other students but noone knows about her identity except for her roommate. She does a lot of research and gives serious advice! And Jo Ephron is another first year student who had created her 'Sincerely Wanda' account as a joke but somehow it took off and she has started offering advice to the submissions in a sarcastic but playful manner. After a few playful jabs and exchanges, Sophie and Jo end up in a weirdly funny online rivalry without knowing who the other is.
And at the same time, they grow closer irl after meeting in a class and bonding over their shared aroace identities and experiences. But what will happen when they find out about each other's online identities?👀😂

Honestly, this was so delightful and funny! I think I found Sophie a bit more relatable at first with her advice-giving and how serious she was about some things(what can I say? I guess I'm a Wendy and yes I did read the acknowledgments too 😂) But it was hard not to love Jo too - who might seem a bit prickly on the outside but was actually very sweet and goofy!❣️ I loved how both of them had varying experiences(asexuality is a spectrum) and finally felt seen after meeting each other. Not only did I love their friendship but the supporting cast was amazing too! I loved their roommates, friends and family - who brought some drama and varying degrees of supportiveness! I should probably stop gushing but I think this is one of my fave YA/NA books from this year and I can't wait to read more from this author!

"Sometimes love isn't between two people falling *in* love" -Jo

I'm still don't know how I feel about this book. Dear Wendy follows two college students, Jo Ephron and Sophie Chi. The two are both aroace and take a class together, yet online they are rivals. Jo started wandawellsley69 as a way to help her friend, while Sophie started Dear Wendy to help students with their relationship issues.

As their online rivalry grows, their personal relationship blossoms. Nights of watching youtube while studying, sleepovers and starting a club for ace spec students.
Overall I enjoyed this book, the characters were a little grading at first but as time goes on they give more understanding.
While I do appreciate the grand wonderings about queer theory, I feel some of these points weren't fully fleshed out. I did really enjoy the guidance of adults and the way Jo's moms and Dr. Fineman were able to help. As a demi person myself, there were a lot of statements I could relate with, and was happy we did get a demi character. Although I feel like jo really had a chip on her shoulder, and Sophie accepted what she thought she deserved. I also really hated how mean they were in their online personas.
They were constantly stuck on the concept that love can only really be romantic or sexual, when in reality they can be so much more than that. I hated seeing Jo go through this crisis of self, but I feel Sophie had a harder time with her parents and wanting her parents love. I feel this was very interesting depicting love. Also Alicia a side character said something that I REALLY agreed with because when going through dating apps she explained she swiped away from non-bipoc prospects because she didn't want to teach her culture to someone else. I felt that so hard.

Overall, a good book if you're looking for something to read. As a demi person I did really enjoy the character we got, and I liked certain aspects of Jo & Sophie's friendship.
Thank you so much to the publisher for an ecopy.

Dear Wendy is a YA Contemporary novel I really enjoyed. It’s a platonic love story that was so sweet.

The story follows two asexual and aromantic first year college students. Sophie Chi is fascinated by relationships despite having no desire to be in one herself. She runs a popular Instagram account—Dear Wendy—where she provides love and relationship advice. Jo Ephron hates her friend’s shitty boyfriend and makes a joke satirical account under the name Wanda (the antithesis of Wendy) to advise her friend to dump her boyfriend. Jo doesn’t expect their Instagram account to take off or to end up in a public feud with Wendy, but that’s exactly what happens.

I really enjoyed the way Sophie and Jo bickered online all while unknowingly becoming friends in real life. The two complemented each other so well and make the greatest of best friends. I loved their deep discussions and their lighthearted banter. It was really cool to see their perspectives on their sexualities, gender, and what they want for their lives.

You’re definitely going to want to check this one out!

You know how when you read Alice Oseman's books, you feel like you're on a journey with the characters where you get into the minutiae of their lives and thoughts and feelings, and it all feels effortless from a writing perspective? This book also had a lot of that. Fortunately, getting wrapped up in imaginary people's lives one of my favorites things.

This book is warm and funny and makes you think about sexuality, gender, and social norms while never feeling like an infodump or lecture.

I couldn't get enough of this spunky ace, YA enemies to friends story between two college teens on the aro/ace spectrum who find themselves online dating advice rivals and IRL friends. Full of great banter, a diverse group of characters and EXCELLENT on audio with a full cast of narrators, chief among them my very fav, Natalie Naudus.

What I loved the most was how relatable the queer rep was in the book and the honest, #ownvoices ace/aro rep was and the realistic discussion of the challenges associated with that identity. HIGHLY recommended for fans of authors like Amanda DeWitt. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy and @prhaudio for a complimentary ALC in exchange for my honest review!!

When two aromantic and asexual college students start an online feud with each other while unknowingly becoming friends in real life, when their secret identities get out... will they still want to be friends? Sophie Chi loves running her instagram account where she gives out relationship advice called, "Dear Wendy". She prides herself in trying to be serious and helping people out as best as best as she can. Joanna "Jo" Ephron is pretty relaxed and started off a advice page just for fun, something that was completely opposite to Dear Wendy, which she called Dear Wanda. Now Sophie and Jo begin feuding online yet in real life they are both attending the same college and befriend each other.... however their secret online selves are far from friends. Can they find a way to keep their friendship once their secret is out? This book was just okay to me, honestly I was hoping for more but it just felt a little uderwhelming. I do however think this book is a great book for people who want to read about identity and friendship. The story really focuses on how each of the girls deal with their sexual identities and how they both want to help others and find friendship in one another. I was hoping for a bit more in the story but overall it felt like an okay read to me. I think younger readers will definitely appreciate the coming of age/ coming into identity that the story discusses though and would recommend it.

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group | Feiwel & Friends for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

This is such a special book, and I hope it does extremely well and there will be many more aroace books to follow.

Essentially, this is a platonic romcom. It follows two aroace main characters, and it uses so many romcom tropes for their budding friendship. This truly felt like a love letter to aroace people, and it was amazing seeing a beautiful friendship like this centered in the story. We need more friendship books!

I loved how funny this was, how lowstakes but very introspective, how many wonderful characters there were, and especially seeing these two aroace people find community, and all the wonderful conversations about their experiences.

YA contemporary college platonic love story featuring two aroace MCs who become friends while unknowingly running rival advice instagram accounts at Wellesley. This novel is an absolute delight. It is a story of love and joy as well as coming of age. The characters are well defined and knowable, and we get a good look into some of the difficulties a-spec folks are faced with in a society obsessed with romantic love. Our MCs deal with erasure and dismissal from people both in and out of the LGBTQ community, and even some internalized aphobia. But we also see their individual support systems and witness their connection to and comfort in one another as friends whose understanding comes from experience. This novel is an interesting snapshot of our time, when awareness and understanding of a-spec sexualities is patchy at best. Happily though, the novel strikes a decidedly hopeful tone.

Zhao's writing is clear and lively and a dream to read. Cuts like butter. Required reading.

This was the aroace platonic love story I didn’t know I needed until now.

Dear Wendy is a heartfelt and funny contemporary YA story about two aromantic and asexual first-year Wellesley students who get into an online rivalry with each other’s anonymous advice Instagram accounts while slowly, and unknowingly, become close friends in real life.

I loved Sophie and Jo’s relationship as well as the explorations of their aroace and gender identities in a society so dominated by notions of physical attraction and romantic love. I feel that Ann Zhao beautifully captures the messiness and confusion of being a nineteen year old trying to figure out who they are in the world. There were so many passages in the book that I highlighted mainly because it was putting into writing so many of my own thoughts that I had while trying to understand my own a-spec identity back in school. In particular, I related very much to Sophie’s own struggles with coming out to immigrant parents, and the oftentimes nuanced complications of understanding queerness within immigrant families who come from a very different cultural background. Zhao does a brilliant job at crafting distinct voices and personalities for Sophie and Jo, and showcases a compelling story arc for both.

Full of gen-z internet humour and the observations of love in its various forms, Dear Wendy is a wonderfully queer love story about self-acceptance and the power of platonic relationships.

Thank you to Fierce Reads, Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, and Colored Pages Book Tour for a gifted early copy of this book.

I was so incredibly excited for this book, but sadly I couldn't make it through. I stopped around page 55. However, I did appreciate the aroace rep, and it was nice that there were other queer characters aside from the two main characters. My main issues were that the dialogue between characters often seemed forced, and I found the main characters, Sophie and Jo, very annoying and their Instagram feud was even more annoying. There didn't seem to be a real reason for it. I would probably read other books by this author though!
Thank you to Feiwel & Friends for a digital copy in exchange for a review.

<i>Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.</i>

A solid, middle-of-the-road book for me. If you like lighthearted contemporaries that focus on identity, this is a great pick. Plus, it's one of the rare YA books (and actually YA, not adult/new adult) that's set in college!

The strongest element for sure was the aro/ace representation, which is what I came for. It did a good job of capturing the fact that asexuality is a spectrum and normalized it as an identity. Everything else though was a bit more rocky. Most noticeably for me was the voice/writing style. I'm constantly clamoring for YA books set in college, so I definitely didn't want this to sound like an adult book; however, both characters' voices sounded incredibly juvenile. I'm always hesitant to use that word when it comes to critiquing YA because there's nothing worse than an adult reviewer complaining that the teens in a teen book sound too much like teens--doesn't make sense. But in the case of <i>Dear Wendy</i>, the voice bordered on sounding like middle grade. I do think that there's a place for YA books with a younger voice since there are YA books with much younger characters, but for this book, it made it difficult to believe that these characters were in college.

Regarding the plot, I wasn't very invested in the whole Instagram feud thing. I do think that's connected with the juvenile voice thing though. It just felt like such a sudden, unrealistic thing to get so disproportionately mad over. It kind of reminded me of Season 4 of Sex Education (which I love), but with not enough dramatic moments to lead to such dramatic responses. The feud honestly made me really dislike Sophie and Jo, as it brought out a mean side to both of them that I couldn't enjoy (unlike in Sex Education, where everyone is kind of mean and toxic, but I fully enjoy it).

And then the last thing that's probably more of a personal thing but who knows: I wish the Wellesley love was toned down a bit. It became distracting, and it sort of chipped away at the relatability of the book, which I think is important in identity-based YA contemporaries. It wasn't the end of the world and it might not be an issue for other people, but I thought it created distance between the author and the reader.

Despite my long, fleshed-out list of cons, I still thought it was an enjoyable, easy read. If you're looking for ace rep and some bantering, this is a decent pick.