2 stars.

"All That We Never Were" by Alice Kellen has one good element for me, but is otherwise puzzling and icky. While the writing is good and, at times, moving, it ultimately felt a little long to me (though some readers who are more invested in the main love story will read this as a slow-burn). I don't mind age-gap romances when they involve people in theirs mid-20s and older, but I have an issue with a 19/29 year old split, especially when it contains the same set of circumstances as this book. Main character Leah's parents died in a horrific car crash. Her brother, Oliver, has gotten a job and needs to follow it to Syndey, Australia for a year. Oliver asks his best friend, Axel, to watch Leah while he's out of town for the year. Axel becomes her surrogate father/caregiver. He is pushy, demanding, and rude about her storm of feelings and her PTSD, and is dismissive of her actual medical care. He does all of this under the guise of caring about her and knowing what she really needs.....because he has known her since she was a little kid. He treats her like a little sister for most of the book until he is all of a sudden in love with her. It's giving grooming, it's giving Dane Cook and his child bride vibes! The way he treats her, I was shocked she was 19 because she acts like she's 15! She wears ponytails and rides a bike and he makes her lunches for school... it is ICKICKICKICKY. He is trying to fix her in his own way when she really needed medical and psychiatric help for her trauma. Eventually, there is a point around 65-70% into the book where he physically restrains her while forcing her to listen to a traumatizing song..!?!?!? Exsqueeze me?!?!? No no no. I don't like it. It all reads controlling to me, the absolute opposite of romantic! All of the aspects of Leah trying to find herself again, and find her way back from grief, are really accurate, well-written, and well handled. The audiobook narrators are great though, I would love to hear both of them reading a better, less sketch novel.

Thank you to NetGalley, Alice Kellen, and Dreamscape Media for the complimentary ALC of this book. All opinions are my own. I was not compensated for my review.

thank you to netgalley for the advanced reading copy. I really enjoyed this and will be getting copies for my shop.

Honestly I had a hard time both listening to and rating this book. I spent so long listening to it because it was so depressing for most of it. I understand that this is a realistic portrayal of grief, which I respect, but I found myself losing interest. The fact that the writing was able to make me connect with the character that much to become depressed with her though is a talent and should be recognized. I also hated the MMC...I found him self centered and annoying which made it hard for me to like the romance aspect of the book.

I received a physical copy of this and the next book in the mail but struggled to get into it so I requested the audio copy. Sadly it didn’t help.

I struggled with a 19 year old adult being treated like a new teenager. I struggled with the non-existent plot. Clearly there is family drama and brother’s best friend drama and ptsd recovery but none of it felt cohesive. I know this is a translated duology and it may be something missing in the translation but it fell very flat.

The cover is stunning, I give that 5 stars!

Thank you for the gifted ALC!

I thought I would love this, I mean it's brother's best friend, how can you go wrong with brothers best friend? Apparently you can, because this book managed to do so. The characters were so bland, the plot was non-existent, it was just boring, to be honest. Also, the age gap was way too big for them knowing each other their entire lives, and that was very much not for me. Wouldn't recommend this one, unfortunately.

I do like the plot, but something was missing. Leah, a struggling teenager, finds a better job with her brother Oliver, who decides to stay with his friend Axel. However, after weeks of living together, she realizes her feelings for him. The story lacks emotional pull and a real "love"/romance between Leah and Axel. The "love"/romance needs more development and depth. It took me too long to care about either of these characters. Thank you to NetGalley, Alice Kellen, and Dreamscape Media for sending me the audiobook to review.

*3.5 Stars On My Instagram Account*

"Pain is the collateral damage for living."

All That We Never Were is book 1 of the Let It Be romance duology series by international author Alice Kellen. Leah, 19, suffers from severe PTSD being the sole survivor of a car accident that killed her parents. Her 29 year old brother leaves her in the care of his best friend Axel for a job opportunity. Leah's crushed on Axel since she was a kid and, in fairness to him, he tries everything to avoid her advances while helping her with anxiety driven nightmares.

Narrators Bridie Lawrence and Dorje Swallow dual POVs add to the intensity of this relationship. The trope of the angry brother over his best friend loving his sister is annoying; wouldn't you want your sister with the person you trust the most? The cliffhanger end is in the title, and book 2, All That We Are Together, isn't available until 1/23/24.

I received a free copy of this audiobook from Dreamscape Media via #NetGalley for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

**This Review Is For The Audiobook*

I'm going to gush about this cover! How pretty is it! When you put it together with the second book it makes a complete flower and it is just stunning! They have these side by side on Amazon when you are viewing the "Books in this series" Section if you want to take a look.

This is a release in English (and several other languages) that was originally released February 5, 2019. Our journey begins in a small town in Australia, with surfing, isolation and lots of sand. Leah lost her parents in a car wreck, the only survivor of the car wreck she has been swallowed in her grief. Left in the care of her brother, who is 10 years older, he has gotten a job in Sydney where he has to spend the 3/4 of the month away. Not wanting to pull her out of school (she has to repeat her last year of high school since she failed it) he leaves her in the care of his BFF Axel. These families grew up together and are basically one family any how. Axel reluctantly agrees to "babysit" the 19-year old Leah and is determined to pull her out of her grief spiral that she has been in since her parents died a year prior.

This book has some good potential to it. You have that age gap of a barely adult to a well established adult. Leah has been in love with Axel her whole life basically. Axel is an attractive free spirit that was always around. Leah has had boyfriends, but no one compared to Axel. Axel has always seen Leah as his little sister...well until this book that is. It can be kind of awkward, this book. We have that forced proximity that kind of forces relationships to happen. An adult who is basically a child. Though she is the one pursuing the older guy. You know this isn't going to end well, they know it isn't going to end well, but I suppose we are reading for the journey.

The story line is very dragged out, very short chapters, especially when you have Leah's POV. I actually didn't mind the romance part of the story even though that particular age gap was a bit unsettling. There is a lot of emotional vulnerability on Leah's part. Let's dig into that a bit. Everyone grieves differently and a large amount of this book has to do with grief. Leah has a bit of PTSD and survivors guilt going on, and no one seems to really understand her. It appears she stopped going to the counselor and everyone just kind of tiptoes around her. Except Axel, he basically forces her to dive head first in her misery. I hated when he held her down and made her listen to a song that was triggering for her. This can make people with anxiety (which Leah has) worse or back track on any progress and trust. I was not a huge fan of how grief is looked at in this book.

Overall the story is ok. There are a lot of really cringe moments happening and the overall character arcs aren't really present. There are consequences to actions and our characters don't seem to understand this. I loved the narrators and having a different voice actor for each of the POVs. I love the use of the Beatles as the soundtrack of this book, music really does add some depth to the story overall.

Leah is nineteen when her parents die in a car accident. She was in the car at the time and is riddled with nightmares and grief. Her brother, Oliver is twenty-nine and gets a new job in Sydney, leaving Leah alone in Byron Bay. He asks his best friend, Axel if Leah can live with him. Leah falls in love with Axel, of course. Their relationship is questioned by Oliver, but can it stand the rest?

Thank you Net Galley, Dreamscape, and Alice Kellen for the ARC!

Unfortunately this was a DNF @ 30% - very short chapters, slow story line falling flat, the age gap lust didn't pull me in, not connecting to the characters. I feel like the idea of this book had lots of promise but it just wasn't fulfilled.

Thank you to Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the opportunity to listen to this ALC.

This started well but I got a bit lost along the way - I really struggled with Leah and Axel's relationship. Something about it didn't feel right - the age gap was a bit too much for me considering both of their personalities and the way they acted. The story ended on a cliffhanger - I would have preferred it to be wrapped up and I'm not sure if I'd be interested in a sequel.

This book was just okay for me. The audio narration was a little bit boring and it lost my interest a few times. I did enjoy the plot/storyline but wasn’t super connected to it at the very end. I think some people will really enjoy it. It just wasn’t for me..

Thank you to Netgalley for this ALC. Overall this was an ok read. It didn't draw me in as much as I was hoping. I normally finish a book in 2-3 days and this took me almost 2 weeks. I wasn't looking forward to reading more but did want to see how things played out. The narrator was good on this one.

All That We Never Were has so many things I like in a book: short chapters, dual perspective, real emotion, and forbidden love to name a few.

Leah and her parents are in a horrific car accident and only Leah survives. In her older brother, Oliver’s, attempt to provide for Leah, he transfers to Sydney for work and leaves Leah to finish high school while living with his best friend Axel. What Oliver doesn’t know is that Leah has been in love with Axel for years.

While I’ve thankfully never experienced grief in the magnitude that Leah faces, it is clear that Alice Kellen expertly describes the mourning process and the long battle of overcoming immense grief. Kellen writes descriptions that force you to slow down and really see the environment; the colors, textures, movements and contrast.

You’ll feel all the things reading this book. You’ll feel Leah’s grief, Axel’s determination and hope that Leah can return to the girl he once knew, Oliver’s difficult decisions in suddenly being responsible for his younger sister and you’ll even laugh at the ridiculousness of Axel’s dad.

I don’t typically mind an age gap story but the fact that Leah, although 19 and technically an adult, was still finishing high school kind of made me cringe.

Before I started reading I noticed that the book says it’s a “Let It Be Novel”. I didn’t really know what that meant but after reading it I should have taken that to mean it’s the first in a series and you won’t get closure from the ending of this book. I’m ready for book two now!

I kept picking up subtle Colleen Hoover vibes while I read this one so if you’re a CoHo fan, you should check this one out.

I switched between the audio and the digital versions of the story. I wasn’t immediately drawn to Axel’s character in the audiobook but he grew on me as I got a few more chapters in.

TW: death of parents, car accident

Thank you NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the ALC.

Love and grief are two words you would never think of together, but when they collide, they crash.

Leah Jones is a 19-year-old student who has experienced grief after her parents passed away in a car crash. The only person Leah has left is her brother Oliver, who is moving across the country for a job, leaving Leah behind with his best friend Axel, so she can finish school. Axel is facing his own grief. Both are artists who are unable to create their art because they can't come to terms with their grief. Axel does all he can to get Leah to face her grief by trying to get her to live again, but Leah is hesitant. Left alone for a year, Leah and Axel start to fall for one another, but Axel is fearful of what his best friend will think of their relationship. Can their love for one another weather the storm?

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the free audiobook of All That We Never Were by Alice Kellen in exchange for my honest review. I could not put this one down and had to finish as soon as possible. The only problem with finishing so fast is having to wait for the release of the next book.

I really wanted to enjoy this book but in the end it just wasnt for me. the story was very slow paced and just couldnt get into it.

Leah is grief stricken after a car accident that kills her parents. Her brother Oliver asks his best friend Axel if Leah can move in with him while she finishes school. Axel can't stand how broken Leah is and it becomes his mission to bring some light back into her life. Over time Axel breaks the barrier Leah has created and eventually falls for her in the process. Little did he know that she has always been in love with Axel. When their relationship is exposed, things fall apart . I hated the ending because I don't like cliff hangers, but it is obvious the author is writing a sequel. I really liked the way that Axel tried to help Leah out of her grief and you can see why the connection happened. The author did a great job of showing how real and debilitating grief can be. I liked the storyline but the language was too much for me in this forbidden romance.

Thanks to Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for the advanced audiobook copy.

DNF…
I was bored and felt like the characters didn’t have enough development. The story showed promise but unfortunately the execution was lacking . :/

A romance rooted in grief and heartbreak.
Oliver, Leah, and Axel have been close since childhood. When Leah and Oliver’s parents are killed in a crash, 29-year-old Oliver takes over care of 19-year-old Leah, who is struggling to cope. When Oliver has to leave town for a job in order to provide for them, he entrusts Axel to care for her during her senior year…but it isn’t long before a romance blooms between them.
I had a hard time getting through this and romance or not, found the circumstances behind the romance so cringe that I couldn’t enjoy the novel. This is a teenager going through grief and parent loss and she’s vulnerable and it’s so inappropriate for the older MMC to still proceed with the relationship knowing that, no matter how he feels.
Thank you to Dreamscape Media for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This is out now.

Rounding up to 3.5. I liked this story overall, but I had a hard time deciding whether I liked the relationship between Axel and Leah. This story was complex and had incredible depth, which I did enjoy. It was well written as well.