Wow , just wow. Great novel, story wise amazing, development and growth on characters was great. This was such a good read, been one of my most anticipated releases and it didn’t disappoint. Can wait to get more from this author.

I was very intrigued by the premise of this story, however it did not live up to my expectations. I ultimately decided to DNF this book at the 50% mark once I felt like it was becoming a chore to read. I am very disappointed because I can see the promise, but the delivery was just not done well, in my opinion.

This story is about colonization, oppression, and all of the horrors than come from invasions and impending war. Unfortunately, the narrative was plagued by dense sidebars that delved into the impacts of these themes in excruciating detail. While I appreciate the importance of understanding the weight of such subjects, the author's approach felt as if she didn't trust us to grasp the gravity of the situation without constant explanations.

These interruptions greatly hindered plot progression. Just as something new was being introduced, we would grind to a halt for yet another info dump. At least half of the portion that I did read was inundated with the same points reiterated over and over and over again. At one point, I realized this book was becoming laborious to read and I decided it would be best to stop.



*Additional note based on other reviews - I had a sneaking suspicion for who our male love interest would be... There was the obvious choice but I thought "Well, no. There's no way we would romanticize him in any form. There's no way the author would practically lecture us on the atrocities of this situation and then make HIM the love interest. RIGHT?" I thought it would be her friend and I was quite excited about that. But based on the reviews I read, the wrong choice was made and that makes me feel very conflicted about the overall message this book is sending. I wrote my entire review prior to reading other reviews, so none of my above points are influenced by this discovery. I hesitate to say much not having read the second half of the book. But I feel compelled to share my shock at this development.

“She has power over death. He has power over her. When two enemies strike a dangerous bargain, will they end a war . . . or ignite one?”

Antony Augustus is the 2nd Grandson Prince of the conquoring Romans. They came with Science that was no match for the Magic held by the Xianling of Pangu. The "one day war" devasted Pangu. They supressed the land and then introduced Opian in order to control the locals.

Ruying, a Xianling with the power of Death, was captured in a midnight raid and now needs to make the choice of dying or working for the enemy in order to keep her sister and grandmother safe.

Because Heroes die, cowards live.
🐉
I enjoyed the story. The writing is beautiful (although my eARC had multiple typos; I'm not sure if those typos made it through the final edits or if my copy was an earlier version).

There was a lot of internal dialog that became a little repetitive. Although it's not a long story, it could have been shorten a little if she cut out some of the repetition.

The story is filled with an internal battle of: not wanting to die, wanting to protect her family, or allowing herself and her power to be used by the invading country. In the end, Ruying thought she was doing the right thing because Antony was a much better option than his older brother, right? But when it comes to war, there never is a right choice and you never know who to trust. Throughout the entire story, it was hard to tell if he was a good guy and the right answer, or if he was just another bad option.

*Spoiler*
*
*
*
There was some controversy early on due to the rumor of a "colonizer romance".

Although she admits she is attracted to him, it doesn’t get much farther than that.

And anyone who claims otherwise never finished reading the book.

To Gaze upon Wicked Gods by Molly X Chang, was given to me by Random House. It is about a young girl with magical power over death who becomes an assassin for the colonizing rulers. But I found it much more complicated than that. Molly Chang blends critique on colonization while presenting fantastical scenarios where the strongest way to promote rebellion is to learn the ways of the oppressors from the inside.
The story presents a reality where magic and science exist in parallel and only cross when the veil is forcibly ripped open. Many years before the start of the story, Rome used their scientific prowess to do exactly that and tore open their world and Pangu. They fail to see the local people as equals or even humans, and several unequal treaties have given the Romans exorbitant power. Ruying our female protagonist knows the Romans are responsible for the death of her father and her family’s decline, but as a young woman, she feels her only hope is to allow her grandmother to find her a husband outside of the capital. She despises her countrymen who work with the Romans but soon discovers that working with a prince, Antony Augustus, could be the only way to protect those she loves.
This was at first a challenging read. Ruying is an incredibly complex character given she fears her abilities and considers herself a coward. This isn’t exactly someone we expect to enjoy reading about. But as the story progresses, we realize that Ruying is a realistically flawed human being. Without Er-Langian expectations that daughters are meek, mild, and modest, she wouldn’t have been so susceptible to Antony’s open admiration for her deadly magic. Ruying needs to be broken exactly as she is to be the right tool for her prince’s plans.
Antony Augustus, the second prince of Rome and Ruying’s master is the supposed villain in this story. He is a very dark, unreliable narrator. We are not sure of his intentions. Antony believes his actions are justified, but he also willfully blinds himself to the harm he causes. The lies and half-truths he tells Ruying show that he is manipulative, causing her to feel extreme anger and betrayal. But he is also this young man who just wants someone to accept him and recognize his potential to be a ruler of the kingdom. Unfortunately, he just no longer knows how to interact honestly with anyone. It doesn’t excuse his actions, but it does help explain why he hides the truth from Ruying for so long.
Being a Western-educated, I had never heard about what happened in China during WWII. The description was heartbreaking and fascinating, and I wanted to learn more about what her grandfather had endured.
As engaged as I was from the start, it might have been more interesting to have a more reality-based story of Manchuria in this world as this was the inspiration for the story. Overall I gave this 4 stars and would recommend reading.

I really enjoyed this one! The ending was so well done. I will say that towards the middle of the book there was a bit of a lull. I was anticipating a bit more action but it came at the end! I’m excited to see where the second book takes us and what Yang ends up choosing to do.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing - Ballantine for the opportunity to read this book! All opinions are my own.

I loved this book! I didn’t want to put it down!

I thought the world building was beautiful and the story was incredibly interesting. The relationships between the characters were so complex and real as well.

Ruying’s character was so interesting and relatable to me. Her struggles and the lessons she learned felt so real and grounded, even though it was set in such a fantastical world. I also thought her power was such a unique choice. To have a power that is seen as evil and to work to not let yourself be evil for using it gave Ruying so many complex layers. Just wonderful!

I love fantasy and have read SO many books in this genre, and this one truly felt new and different. It was so refreshing and I cannot wait to read the next book in the series!

I would 100% recommend this book to any of my fellow fantasy lovers! You won’t be disappointed!

I received a a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and statements are my own.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

The idea of the book and the first 25% were so promising, but overall, this was such a miss for me. Other reviewers have done a much better job talking about the various dimensions of the romance storyline that were less than great, particularly how calling this "enemies to lovers" is ... yikes. I also want to acknowledge that Chang was one of the BIPOC authors targeted by Cait Corrine's weirdo behavior, and again, other people in the book discourse world have done a better job talking about this than I ever could.
I understand what Chang was trying to do here, but it just did not work at all. Books that handle these themes better would include The Hurricane Wars, So Let Them Burn, and even The Poppy Wars (and I didn't love the Poppy Wars that much).
I guess my main problem beyond the colonizer romance aspect was how wishy washy and self-aggrandizing Ruying was and the flatness of the world and characters. Ruying isn't a dislikable MC because she is an anti-hero doing whatever it takes to save her family, she is annoying because she is ANNOYING and incredibly navel-gazing, and despite how much philosophizing she is constantly doing, she has zero brain cells for actual critical thoughts. Another issue I had was how many themes Chang brought into this that were done a disservice and not brought to fruition beyond Ruying telling us something at the very end, such as the idea of gender roles and the sister relationship. Ruying's power also made no sense to me.
Alas.

Oh how I wanted to love this book :(

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods was high on my anticipated 2024 releases, and with promises of a rageful, morally-gray heroine and commentary on Chinese colonial suffering, it had everything I should have loved. But for all its marketability and high concept, it fell remarkably flat on every element I could think of.

The story was not the world’s most original concept, but I’m always more than happy to overlook that if the book’s other elements are strong. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even get past the prose. Chang seems to go for a lyrical and flowery narrative style, but all the poetics amount to nothing more than empty calories that boost the word count and repeat the same idea (the Romans are the oppressive colonizers, the Er-Lang’ers are the wretched and oppressed) in a dozen different ways. To be sure, there are some well-written lines and sentiments that earned an annotation from me, but the overwhelming majority of the story is overtly-verbose. Even in the first scene between Ruying and Baihu, single pieces of dialogue are broken up by paragraphs upon paragraphs of Ryuing’s internal monologue, causing me to skim the pages just to find actual dialogue and character actions. Despite the action picking up in later chapters, I simply could not get past the prose.

Another thing this book suffers from is telling (not showing). I’m constantly told how wretched and oppressed the Er-Lang’ers are, but I’m rarely shown anything other than the standard slum setting, whorehouse scene, and impoverished beggars. Even a simple recounting of a horrific abuse committed against the Er-Lang’ers would have done wonders in *showing* me the oppression instead of just *saying* they’re oppressed.

Even the worldbuilding reads as thin and borderline lazy, with “Roman” being an oversimplified term for ambiguous white colonizer, undifferentiated cultures and ethnicities, and a confusing attempt at making an alternate China vs. ancient Rome world where China/Er-Lang is historically placed in the 15th century (referencing the Yongle Emperor) yet Rome somehow has aeroplanes. Much of the colonizer-colonized dynamic between the two ethnic groups seems to rely on unsubtle references to real life/historical white European-ethnic Chinese interactions. This reduced what could have been a powerful thematic commentary to an overly-simplistic retelling of actual world history, and much of the worldbuilding read as “history: fantasy edition.” Worst, despite being promised some interesting ethnic Manchurian rep, the Chinese-coded characters were all rolled into a vaguely Han Chinese culture that had little explanation for its discrepancies when compared to the alleged Yongle historicity. It was confusing to say the least.

Overall, as much as I wanted to like this book, I couldn’t bring myself to continue. Although there is probably a more generalized and less skeptical target audience, I am unfortunately not one of them. To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods is an intriguing concept, but it is also frustratingly verbose and, at times, borderline preachy.

DNF’d at 22%

I really enjoyed this book! It had such a charm and I loved the main character's constant struggle to try to figure out what the best option to save her people. The magic system was so interesting and unique. I want to see where our main character goes in her journey to save her people.

Magic system was interesting. But felt the pacing was off with everything happening at the end. Did not like the romance. Could not resonate with the writing style as it felt more like it was telling and not showing

-Enemies to Lovers
-Strong FMC
-Slow Burn
-Morally-Grey Characters

This book definitely pulled me in, it's a great debut novel but there were some heavy undertones throughout the story. Beautifully written with a gorgeous cover. I would recommend this book on my socials with a more in depth review.

This was so good! I loved the combination of worlds with and without technology. The inner turmoil of power usage. The power dynamics. This was so well written and I can’t wait to have a physical copy!

4/5 Stars

I think this was a solid debut novel. The book ask us to imagine what would've happened if the Roman Empire continued to conquer and colonize the world, utilizing the magic that exists in China to continue this colonization.

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods follows the journey of Ruying, who weilds death magic, and her desperation to keep it a secret. She strives to protect her freinds and family, evenutally agreeing to become an assassin. She eventually runs into our other main character, Antony, who is the Second Prince of Rome, when she steals from him. After her capture, they strike a deal which allows her to keep her family safe as long as she uses her magic at Antony's beck and call.

I really enjoyed the magic system in this book, and the slow-burn, enemies to lovers is a trope I will never get tired of. I can't wait to continue Ruying's story in the next book!

Read if you enjoy:

Enemies to Lovers
Strong FMC
Slow Burn
Morally-Grey Characters


Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Well this book is hard to review, there were parts of this that I really thought were interesting. The magical abilities of the main characters and the Xialings were super interesting and I wish had been explored a bit more and that we had a little bit more world building on the magic system and Pangu. Ruying was so infuriating at times and at other times I definitely could see where she was making decisions from. The main problem I had was the supposed "romance" which was just sickening and I do not think that it was very believable for anyone to comprehend really. The ending I really liked and I am hoping it goes the way I hope this series goes but I am not sure yet if I want to continue yet.

This book was a very hard read for me, it was very dark and it really made me sad for all of my ancestors that were colonized by the Spanish in Chile. I really felt that pain while reading this book and I do not know how accurate or again believable some of the main characters actions were but how different people react in certain situations is so different that it could be accurate just not the way I would react. I really liked the slow reveal of some aspects of the plot, I thought it was well done and made me want to keep reading to find out how everything was tying together. I am not sure I would recommend this one or not, while there are some good elements there are also some very dark elements so I would just caution that this is not a light fantasy read at all.

Thanks to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine and Del Rey for providing me with an eArc in exchange for an honest review.

“To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods” is not “zutara on steroids,” but rather “zutara on quaaludes.”

What drew me to this book in the first place was the promise of a omfg, super toxic and complex relationship dynamic that’s totally a true example of the “enemies to lovers.” One that belongs in the echelon of greats alongside zutara, reylo, and darklina. I hold no moral quandary against the idea of “colonizer x colonized” if the subject is handled with the nuanced complexity that’s warranted. That shit tickles my neurons and makes monkey brain go brrrr.

However, this book was not that.
Not.
At.
All.

What this book is, is a vast cornfield of redundant, internal diatribes. Ruying’s monologues carry the majority of this 350+ page book, and I am not being hyperbolic. Chapter one consists of Ruying literally walk down a street while she figuratively has you by the back of your neck and funnels pages of lore down your throat with unblinking eye contact. Tl;dr: the Empire of Pangu bent the knee to its scientific Roman conquerers from the sky. The power of science beamed down and curb-stomped the lowly, inferior Xianling mages in a single day. From then on, the Romans have steadily colonized Pangu’s lands. Ruying is a Xianling “blessed” with Death’s magic, but she fears its power after having a Bad Experience with it.

The prose is presented as overdramtically fragmented sentences. Every page is littered with single word sentences and narrative questions or statements that are demarcated by line breaks for extra emphasis. Which are always presented with such a sense of profound gravitas. There’s also an abuse of overwrought figurative language that’s intended to elicit empathy from the reader. But because it’s presented like this, again, on every page the effect backfires. If this book had been a contemporary piece, Ruying’s narration would make the most obnoxious theater kid cringe.

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve finished TGUWG, and I can still mentally recall all the plot points and character interactions because they stick out like moai statues amongst the maize of internal musings. Each of the interactions Ruying has with other characters all feel unnatural and strictly in service of moving the pieces along. Similar to the recent Percy Jackson and Avatar the Last Airbender adaptations. It’s so artificial, that I genuinely don’t believe Ruying has had any meaningful connections prior to meeting Antony, her “Prince Oppressor.” (stealing that moniker from mynameismarines lol). To reiterate: my issue isn’t that Chang set out to tackle the complexities of a dark relationship dynamic, it’s that she didn’t succeed in the attempt. In fact, Chang was so absorbed in Ruying’s repetitive, borderline didactic internalizations, that the main character has failed to have any real rapport with anyone outside of herself.

Hell, I’mma dig deeper with this. Based on the ARC I received, Ruying has, on average, a handful of interactions with the supporting cast. She is acquainted with Baihu (the old childhood friend), Meiya (the drug addicted sister), her grandmother (a supposed highly esteemed figure in the previous regime), Taohua (the supposed bff), Antony and his brother Valentin.
+Baihu: 6 interactions (3 full, 3 brief)
-Introduction where he’s projected as a traitor to Er-lang, but still seems to have a soft spot for Ruying (which goes over her head) as he supplies her with the opian drug to help Meiya
-Super brief, at Ruying’s jail cell where he says he’ll try and pull strings to get her out
-Super brief, at a tower once she’s released by Antony and they barely say anything to each other before Antony shoos him away.
-After time skip where he scolds Ruying for kowtowing to Antony. Ruying defends Antony.
-After treaty debacle where he reveals the whole Unit 731-ing to Ruying
-Super brief, final scene where Ruying joins his side.
+Meiya: 2 interactions
-Introduction where she has torn apart Ruying’s room in search of her next fix after suffering from withdrawals. Opian addiction has killed their father and its supposed power-amplifying effects have drawn Meiya to using (this is another frequent topic of Ruying’s Internal Musings). Meiya scolds Ruying for not using her gifts to fight their oppressors. Meiya’s gift isn’t as potent as Ruying, as she amplifies existing gifts. Or as Ruying will tell us on multiple occasions, Meiya gives life, where Ruying takes it.
-After time skip, Meiya admonishes Ruying for now using her power against their people as Antony’s pawn. Ruying defends Antony. These two go back and forth with their wordy talking points, but it’s not presented as a conversation. Like, Ruying very obviously contradicts herself at one point but it flies over Meiya’s head. There’s no dynamic push and pull in their argument that’d contribute to natural tension. Just one cardboard cutout hollering their opinion at the other cardboard cutout.
+Grandmother: 1 interaction
-After first Meiya interaction, where she tells Ruying she’s gonna travel north to find Ruying a husband and is filled with worry for the three of them. The idea of who the Grandmother was before the family’s fall from grace is another topic of Ruying’s Internal Musings. But the narrative doesn’t really utilize its word economy to show us who she is now compared to the legend that she was. The grandmother may as well have been dead and we’d get the same utility out of her.
+Taohua: 2 interactions (1 full, 1 brief)
-Introduction where she saves Ruying’s butt after the latter had pickpocketed Antony on the streets. She’s the only person friend Ruying has left and she’s super strong (literally, that’s her gift lol) and super extrovert and super cool.
-Super brief, at the prison, where Ruying cries out as Taohua has also been arrested and is being dragged off. Fun note for y’all: This happens in chapter 10, at around the 25% mark. Taohua is never even thought about again until chapter 48, at around the 93% mark. Her existence is just ~gone~ in the time between.
+Valentin: 2 interaction: (1 full, 1 brief)
-Super brief, after Ruying demonstrates her abilities before the princes, Valentin tries to force an opian addiction onto her via injection (it’s THAT addictive) so she’d be easier to control.
-After time skip, Ruying visits Antony’s tower, but Valenti’s hanging out there with a sporty cocktail. She gets him to spill some beans about Rome’s motives for their invasion. He literally cries a single tear in what I can only guess to be the book’s attempt at humanization. But then uh-oh, never mind, he tries to forcefully inject Ruying with opian again!!! Oh Valentin, you rapscallion, you~
+Antony: 6 interactions (2 long, multi chapter sequences, 3 full, 1 brief)
-Brief, Ruying sees this guy walking the streets and she pickpockets him. After his guards tackle her, Ruying uses her power on one of them in front of Antony and he’s all :D OHOHO~!
-at the prison. It’s a long sequence where after Ruying officially demonstrates her power to the princes and is thrown back in her cell, Antony visits and they properly meet. He honey talks her (badly, as it’s mixed with blatant threats to her family) and recruits her as his personal assassin. Takes her for a drive to get her to shoot some unseeming rando on the street, but when she can’t go through with it, he shoots the randomizes instead ‘cause ooohhh, such a badass. Then he takes her back to his tower, has Baihu make his brief appearance (probably to gauge whether the two know each other), and proceeds to honey talk her for real (she has great potential, he sees the greatness in her, yada yada) and it works this time. But he’ll still totally kill her family if she betrays him, hahaha~!
-After six month time skip, Antony tells Ruying that they’re gonna go to another country to sign a peace treaty with the emperor there but then Antony tells Ruying she’s gonna assassinate the emperor after the signing and the Anti-Rome heir is gonna be totally duty-bound to honor the treaty anyway because filial piety supersedes logic in Pangu, apparently? Even then, Pangu emperors are hailed as descendants of the heavenly dragon or something. Would such human constraints like filial piety even apply to them? But I digress…Antony’s lame, honey laced platitudes have her by the throat now. She believes he’ll bring true peace to all.
-At the other country, the hosting emperor and his son give Antony and his entourage a tour of their Venice-esque capital on a boat. Antony and Ruying step aside where she tries to get him to reconsider the assassination, since the emperor is willing to die for the sake of peace so what’s the point?! Antony’s all, “how’d he know of the assassination, Ruying?” and she’s all like “uhhhh.” Guys, Ruying is not a sharp character lol girl makes Feyre Archeron look like a genius. Then they’re attacked by rebels and defend each other from arrows.
-After the boat attack. This is another long sequence. they wash up on some shore and hide in some cabin. They need to warm up and there’s only one bed. It’s that moment in a romance where the couple open their hearts to one another at a time where they’d be, in some way, trapped together. This culmination comes at the head of tension filled build up. But, considering this is only their fifth interaction with one another, it doesn’t feel earned or sincere. He more or less reiterates the same spiel used to recruit her. The next morning, they talk about Pangu creation myth, how (in Antony’s opinion) the Xianlings aren’t tapping into their true magical potential and that’s why they fell so easily. They debate the value of science against magic. Once again, repeating talking points that Ruying had narrated to us in previous chapters, but presents it through a debate. No one can ever have a normal conversation in this book. Anyway, Antony most likely manipulates Ruying’s affections through even more drastic methods via stabbing himself as a distraction when they’re eventually found and cornered by the rebels again (which I’ll admit, is just extra enough to be funny).
-After Baihu has revealed the whole Antony’s Unit 731 truth to Ruying. Antony’s recovering from the self-stabbing fiasco and Ruying confronts him about his cheeky lil human experimentation and he cries that heyyy, c’mon, he’s just a little guy! Just a little guy, he’s a little birthday boyyy! That he acted in favor of the Xianlings actually. Ruying, did you know you guys actually have midichlorians and the opian’s purpose is to tap into that potential?! Ruying assures Antony that she’s still on his side, but mentally, she’s done with him.

Ruying has a couple brief moments with one of Antony’s guards as she walks toward one of the other aforementioned interactions. And another scene with the Venice-esque emperor and his son to warn them of the impending assassination. But otherwise, those are the interactions Ruying has with other characters within this 368 page book whenever she is not internally monologuing to us.

There are three chapters that stand out to me in particular that I wanna discuss though. The two intermission chapters, and Antony’s random two pages of pure simping. After Ruying becomes Antony’s assassin, there are two chapters before the six month time skip: one long internal monologue that montages those six months, and one called ‘Death’. The former repeats more of what Ruying has told us, plus her moralizing her choice at us to make herself feel just. That Antony would always embrace and soothe her when she feels herself crumble under her false choice. It’s a delulu speed run and I felt nothing from it because I shouldn’t have to infer the complex toxicity from my dark dynamic. A red flag springs up whenever I see someone comp zutara or reylo or darklina because more often than not, the writer just wants to get to Book 3 at the Fire Kingdom or at the “You are not alone, come with me” proposals without putting in the slow crawling effort that is Books 1 and 2 or The Force Awakens (and half of Last Jedi) that make these payoffs hit in the first place. This book’s six month time skip was its own shot to the face. If proper care and effort was used to actually sell us sicko readers on the delicious toxic lie that is Ruying and Antony, it’d be easier to empathize with the former when the rug is pulled from her. Hell, it’d be harder to root against the couple, despite the fictional crimes against humanity. I’m speaking as a darklina fan lol. But even then, steps were taken to make Darkling’s cause sympathetic and just (if gazed from a different perspective). It’s pretty difficult to sympathize with Prince Antony Mengele over here. Just sayin’… His two page POV chapter of his simping over “what if’s” was just as hollow as all the other platitudes he has showered over Ruying (ya know, within those handful of interactions I’ve cited).

The Death chapter perplexed me though. It’s barely a page and seemingly from Death’s POV as it commentates how Ruying just wants to survive for her family (something Ruying herself has narrated to us ad nauseam). I’ve seen complaints over Antony’s mini-simp session, but nothing on this. Death has been a lingering, yet prevailing presence in this book. The little devil on Ruying’s shoulder that urges her to use its power. But they weren’t presented as a sentient character. Until this little speedbump that isn’t in Ruying’s POV, yet states out her summarized character bio. Why does this chapter exist? Is Death gonna be an actual character in book 2 or 3? I gleaned nothing but confusion over this particular redundant page.

This book is one disappointment I’m not gonna easily put behind me. Because I’m still interested in where Chang takes this. Especially given the whole debacle back in March. Is Chang gonna commit to her “zutara on stereoids” or has she been urged (whether by other parties or fear from the early reception) to change her story? I’ve seen people say that “oh no, Baihu’s the true love interest all along, Antony’s the Darkling red herring!” And, I dunno. I’m hesitant to accept that. Baihu has had zero connection with Ruying despite having the second most amount of interactions with her. There’s hardly a foundation to work with, Chang’ll be starting from zero again at building a relationship. What would’ve been the point of this first book then? But then again, Ruying and Antony’s development has amounted to nothing either. So it’s truly up in the air. Hence my curiosity, yet disappointment that this has so far felt like a waste of time.

One last thing! A prediction I wanna throw out into the ether for posterity sake. The rebel group is led by a mysterious masked stranger that nobody (even within the group) has seen. Easy bet would be that this rebel leader is Baihu. But I think that’s boring as hell. I’ve got over twenty years of weeb experience under my belt and think it’d be really funny if Chang pulled a Code Geass and made Antony the masked leader. He seems to be really interested in Pangu and its people (Xianlings and non-Xianlings). The way he seemed disappointed at how they squandered their potential and his drive to rise them up to meet his expectations has got to have some purpose. Look, Antony gives me Great Value Lelouch Lamperouge vibes and I wanna hope that that’ll amount to something lol. I’ll definitely check out book two to see whether this series has found its wings to soar, or if it’s crashed and burned.

Molly has given us a high stakes take no prisoners romantasy and it was good. The characters hold their grey morals out proudly. The plot was suspenseful and so rich in culture. After awhile I embraced the originality of Rome having WW type of weapons. I would be willing complete the series when its finalized.

I was really excited about this book. Anti-colonialism??? Yes, please!

However, I found that this book really felt like the first in a series in that nothing really happens in this book. Yes, our main character ends up working for the Romans, but that happens so early and then she has a revelation that really seemed incredibly obvious to the readers because she was nearly explicitly told about it several times throughout the rest of the book.

I like Ruying as a character. I liked how morally gray she was and how she was trying to balance her values with doing whatever was necessary in order to protect her sister and her grandmother.

However, I did NOT like Antony and I could not understand why Ruying was "falling" for him. Even when we got his POV and he was saying how he finally understood what poets meant when they talked about love, he is still a colonizer... he is still basically a eugenicist.... so like I'm sorry, just because he feels love doesn't make him a good or redeemable character.

I think this series has promise in its premise, but I just felt I was waiting too long for anything to happen. I don't think I should have known about the big reveal 200 pages before Ruying finally realized it.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read the e-arc of To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X. Chang.
To start, the cover is gorgeous. It made me want to read the story even when I had read some middling reviews. And the start of the book was compelling. Ruying’s love for her sister and family is heartbreaking and admirable. The world building of Pangu had such promise, despite the underlying enemy in this fantasy story being “Rome.” And I liked the tension I felt between her and childhood friend, Baihu. I wanted to root for Ruying and her quest to protect her family. But alas, this fell away as we are drawn into an enemies to lovers story. With a very unlikeable Roman ruler, Antony. Who gets her to do despicable things against her people. I did not in any way get to a point that this relationship made sense. In fact, it became a distraction. I grew tired of reading about Ruying’s internal conflict. I was excited when the action picked up ¾ through, only to feel that this climax was a tease because there is no grand conclusion nor cliffhanger. I expect this to be part of a series, but don’t care enough about the MC or underlying story to stick around to see what’s next.
3/5 star read

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods 4.0

Ruying has spent her whole life living with a gift she never wanted or asked for. Her home has been taken by foreign invaders, her sister is slowly dying, and any honor their family once had was taken by her father who sold anything they had for the promises the invaders gave. All Ruying wants is to protect her family and provide for them so they can live to see another day. She tries to care for her sister's addiction, protect her grandmother who has dealt with so much grief, and also keep her magic hidden that would be the ultimate weapon in the wrong hands.

So when the opportunity comes where she has to decide to either submit to everything she dispised in order to save her family but betray her people, she feels that this is her only option. But suddenly she finds herself more conflicted as the prince of the invaders she grew to hate is treating her with more kindness than she ever experienced because of her gift. Feelings start to appear that she never expected or wanted. Is the prince truly who he's rumored to be or does he genuinly have good intentions for her world and people?

While reading this book, I felt myself constantly struggling to read through the hardships the people were experiencing and wondered what I would do if I found myself in Ruying's situation. Would I be able to make the same sacrifices as her to protect my loved ones or would I follow the same beliefs her sister held? I don't normally pick up books that deal with war and the destruction it leaves in it's path, but something really attracted me to requesting the ARC. I really appreciated the cultural pieces, mythology, and sayings that were interwoven into the pages and the author's notes and reasoning for writing this story. After finishing the book, I certainly plan on reading the next book to find out what happens next.

Thank you NetGalley for letting me read this ARC.

A girl gifted with powers over death finds herself forced to wield it under the colonizer Roman prince who wants her to kill for him in exchange for the safety of her family... he promises that he will save her kingdom... yet the truth behind his actions is far different, but her heart can't help but be swayed... will it be too late when she finds out the truth? Ruying lives in a world that is being colonized by Romans. Her people are being killed, drugged, trafficked, and worst... all because the Romans want to take over. Yet her people were gifted with magical abilities, and Ruying's in particular is a deadly gift. Ruying has powers over death but every time she uses it, it shortens her own life. The only thing Ruying has is her sister and her grandmother, she'll do anything to protect them and to protect herself. Heroes die, cowards live, and that has been Ruying's motto to survival. Yet when she catches the eye of one of the Roman princes her life soon is in his hands as he tortures, kidnaps, and forces her to work for him in exchange for her life and the safety of her family. Yet the more time she spends with him the more she begins to fall for him and his pretty words, his promise of a world he is trying to create... of peace he promises to ensure the moment he takes over the throne... but what are pretty words when her people are dying and the more people close to her try to get her to see the truth of her Roman prince the more her heart will be tested. This was a strange book for me, especially knowing what I know about the background of the book and the author's own story. The book itself is about a young naive girl gifted with powers but being stockholm syndrome and the fact that she is falling for the foreign invader/colonizer who claims he is different when he is in fact much worse. See this book can be seen as problematic, yet it can also be seen as a case of "enemies to lovers" with problematic tastes. I can't fault Ruying because she is young, she's going through so much and she's barely given affection or love and after enduring so much, when someone promises her that they understand her, give her a bit of affection, and promise to give her everything she want's, she's bound to turn a blind eye to all the red flags. It makes you frustrated as a reader, it makes you want to shake her, just like everyone around her wanted to shake her and get her to see the truth. The book isn't terrible, it's just a weird one to read that kind of leaves you with the feeling of a bit of "eh" and "I don't know how to feel about this." As someone who reads a lot of "enemies to lovers" and dark romances, this one definitely toes in that line because she really is falling for someone terrible, yet at the same time she herself, is committing atrocities and you can sort of blame it on her environment, her situation, and who she is as a person... but it doesn't mean you have to like it or even really root for it. I can understand the complaints about this being considered a "colonizer romance" because honestly, it's not that far off but with the ending it has you questioning whether or not the author will lean into the romance in the sequel and how the author would redeem the love interest if they did. I honestly would have preferred if this was a straight up revenge/action story rather than having any romance in it at all. The romance aspect felt gross and unnecessary and I would have loved this more if it were about Ruying getting revenge rather than her falling for the guy colonizing her land.... so yeah. Honestly, if you like enemies to lovers in the truest sense, I guess I would recommend this to you.

<spoiler> : Ruying finds out that Anthony lied to her and has been experimenting on her people (he lied and said hed freed her friend but instead kept experimenting on her) she also finds out he killed all the people and kidnapped her in the beginning's raid because he wanted her and wanted to manipulate her to be his. They only get as far as kissing but they both fall for each other. That is until Ruying finds out all of the truth behind him and she begins working for the rebels instead. </spoiler>

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Del Rey for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*