Highly accessible/readable title that deals with a common issue within long-term relationships - how to sustain a fulfilling sexual connection over time. The book is written in a very down-to-earth manner, highlights key 'example' relationships, is inclusive in dealing with a variety of different styles of relationships (i.e. not just couples, not only cishet, and not only monogamous). There is concrete advice, talking points, and exercises that individuals can use (though ideally they share them with their partner). There are also key chapters on gender roles written directly for cishet men & women that address the Gender Mirage, which were enlightening.

Overall, definitely worth a read for anyone in a long-term sexual relationship.

Another Emily Nagoski book, another book that I want to send to every single person I know.

Come Together picks up where Come As You Are picks up. While Come As You Are focuses on the individual and sex and pleasure, Come Together looks at intimacy in long-term relationships in a way that is inclusive and clear-eyed about the challenges facing relationships in a patriarchal, white-supremacist, capitalist society. The research she outlines is helpful and comforting, and the exercises feel realistic. I can't wait to purchase this in hard copy and share with my partner to work through together.

This is basically an instructional manual on how to maintain sexual chemistry and other types of intimacy in long term relationships. I think that it was an interesting take and liked that there were lots of specific examples/suggestions.

I am pretty sure I requested an ARC of this book the *day* it came out and then I put off reading it for ages. I kept thinking, "I can't handle non-fiction right now with everything that is going on in the world." Of course, I failed to take into account that this is our most spectacular goddess Emily and she makes every single thing she writes feel like a conversation with your most fun and brilliant bestie. So when I finally took a deep breath and committed myself to reading the introduction, I of course proceeded to inhale the entire book and finish it in a day.

And then I made my husband read it.

And similar to Burnout and Come As You Are, which I scream from the rooftop, and my parenting groups, and my smut/romance facebook groups, and to basically anyone who will listen, EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK. I don't care if you are single or coupled, Ace, Monogamous, Poly, Straight, Queer AF, Single, Whatever, you need this book.

You will learn about your own relationship to your sexuality as well a blueprint for describing the path to intimacy and arousal. You will find your desire (or lack of) and path to pleasure affirmed at every single point in the most inclusive, safe, and loving way and you will learn the difference between those two things. You will come away with explicit techniques for communicating your needs and you will know what those are. You may understand gender dynamics in a heteronormative partnerships but this book will make you think about it with even more insight into your life, even outside of your sexuality. Finally, be prepared to get deep with the final chapter because it goes allll the way into Audre Lorde's use of the Erotic, which can be hard for a lot of folks to intellectualize--just stay open to it because I promise it's worth it.

There is a section on confidence and joy that I wish I could quote verbatim but I can't because this is currently an unpublished ARC. It was one of the most beautiful and spot on things I've ever read. I think I can quote that she states that "Confidence is knowing what is true and joy is loving what is true" and goes on to break down how this is a radical act within our society, especially when it comes to desire, pleasure, and body image. Honestly, y'all, I wasn't sure if I was screaming or crying or just wanted to go hit everyone over the head with this section but this is truly my life's work.

Emily, you are a gift to this world and you are one of my imaginary besties. I will read every book you ever write and recommend it to everyone I know. If I could give this book 10 stars, I would.

Thank you a thousand times to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for this ARC (And Kathleen Quinlan for the pre-approval and invitation to review). This review is hardly unbiased, I'm obsessed with Emily Nagoski, but all opinions are very much my own.

Thank you NetGalley and publish for this electronic ARC. This book fell a little flat for me but still provided easy to follow steps. At times, I found it too dumbed down if that is a thing. Anywho, many people will find this helpful!

I enjoyed this book. I was excited to learn about ways to keep sex alive in long term relationships.
Emily Nagocki introduces "rooms" in the brain as a way to visualize how you end up in a lustful or sexual state This allows people to learn more about themselves and understand what they like. Teh rest of the book talks about various ways to take care of yourself and your relationship. These ideas are not new and Nagoski gives credit where credit is due. For anyone who isn't into psychology, etc. this is a great introduction to those ideas.
I believe this can be helpful to all relationships (Nagoski was very inclusive in her book).

I believe this book is going to be HUGE! Just like the previous title by this author, this one has huge potential, and it can be useful for every person out there.
It is very well written, concise, yet deep and informative.

Engaging and accessible. A recommended purchase for collections where sexual health titles are popular.

This was a great tool. I do believe that sexual health is so important to our over all well being. I feel that many place sexual health on the back burner but it really has an important role in our functioning as humans.
I think that this book brings alot of truths about sexual health and it is important to understanding why it is so important. This author did a great job describing how to truly come together, for the lack of better words.

Thank you Net Galley for this early ARC

As a single person, I came into this book with curiosity and the anticipation that one day I or a future partner will be facing challenges in the sex realm. Even though I’m not currently in a relationship, I did still get some good tidbits from her story like putting my frickin cuticle oil next to my bed because I tend to forget to oil my cuticles until I’m laying cozily in bed and not wanting to get up. Somewhat but not really relevant to the book—decide for yourself after reading ha.

All in all, a very fascinating read that does a good job of balancing research with personal narratives whether that be the author’s or others interviewed for the book.

Very informative, honest and real with an area most everyone would be interested in at some point in their lives. Loved the statistics and knowledge the author shares. Well done.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I am such a fan of Emily Nagoski's, and this book made me an even bigger fan. I haven't even finished reading it yet, but I'm planning on buying a copy when it comes out so I can underline as I read. This book is clearly and concisely written, builds off of her previous work without being repetitive, and is fun and engaging to read.

I began reading this alone, but after I had the repeated impulse to send entire sections to my husband of approximately one trillion years, we decided to read the book aloud together.

Its structure follows the same pattern in each chapter: an idea, data, sometimes a story about a couple the author knows, a TLDR, and some suggested questions for yourself and your partner. We worked through the book slowly, to avoid burnout. While neither of us particularly had complaints in the area of our sex life, reading this together and working through the questions at the end of each chapter, gave us a shared “third thing” to turn towards.

In particular, I am still thinking about how Nagoski recontextualized trust and trustworthiness for me. It genuinely blew my mind and I immediately sent the ideas to my therapist for discussion. The chapter on the gender mirage has been similarly useful as a lens through which to view so many other ways we engage.

The one place where Nagoski lost me/us from time to time was the examination of specific couples. The scenes she described where she was participating in the conversation felt a little self congratulatory of the ideas presented and almost like missed social cues, if the conversations proceeded as written. It just created a bit of cringiness where the anecdata could have been communicated with fewer stage directions.

I’d recommend this first and foremost directly to my therapist; then to people in long term relationships. With the exception of one chapter (which focuses on a very specific dynamic in cis/het relationships), the book is incredibly inclusive in its language and its consideration of many different relationship structures.

A big thanks to Netgalley for an advance copy of this book!

Although this was a slower paced read for me, I love the direction in which this book was focused. It gets to the foundation of why a physical connection is so important in a relationship. The numbers do not matter and it’s all about the satisfaction with yourself and choices as you explore the other person physically and emotionally.

Thank you to #Netgalley for a chance to read this in exchange for an honest review!

I loved Come As You Are so I was really excited for this book, and it did not disappoint! I love the thoughtful research put into understandable terms.

I absolutely loved this book. I found it super interesting and I feel like it's helpful for people to read and think about even if you're not in the midst of an active problem you're trying to solve. Nagoski takes a radically open approach to things like sex, desire, and gender, and really breaks down a lot of the socially ingrained things people think they "should" feel or do with regard to sex. This is a perspective I think everyone needs to hear, and I took a lot of notes. Each chapter also helpfully has a tl;dr at the end so you can reference key points later.

Thank you to Netgalley and Ballantine Books for the chance to read and review this ARC.

This was an informative and approachable book. It is different from my usual fare, and not everything in it is for me, but I think it could provide helpful information for lots of different people. As a married parent, spontaneous desire can be challenging, so I appreciated Nagoski's affirmation of the validity of responsive desire. There were specific strategies like the "emotional floorplan" that are great practical take-aways. Yet for a book that prides itself on being science-based, there were some aspects that didn't strike me as especially scientific (i.e., lines like "You are already perfect,") but that's where the "Art" part of the subtitle comes in. Nagoski has a unique and often enjoyable writing style that makes her writing approachable and compassionate. While the book struck me as maybe longer than it needed to be, I really appreciated the bite-sized summaries and questions at the end of each chapter. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this free eARC; I was not required to provide a positive review in exchange.

Dr. Emily is a genius. This book is the peer-reviewed resource that we need! Full of practical advice delivered in a non threatening way, this book is a must read.

“Come Together” is a non-fiction help book by Dr. Emily Nagoski. Yes, the title is a bit humorous because it is about sex, but it’s sex in one’s mature years. It was interesting because as I was reading the preface, Dr. Nagoski mentioned that there were three things to a lasting sex life and immediately I stated two things - which turned out to be two of the three things mentioned (go me!). Dr. Nagoski has done a lot of research in this arena and presents in a pretty science-based but easily understandable way how to have good long term sexual connections. This book was a titch too long for me, but I can understand why some people might need a more thorough explanation. This was an interesting book.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This is my second book by this author, I loved Come as You Are so I had to pick this one up too!

As always, this author brings research and facts but also makes me feel seen as a woman.