Although this was a slower paced read for me, I love the direction in which this book was focused. It gets to the foundation of why a physical connection is so important in a relationship. The numbers do not matter and it’s all about the satisfaction with yourself and choices as you explore the other person physically and emotionally.

Thank you to #Netgalley for a chance to read this in exchange for an honest review!

I loved Come As You Are so I was really excited for this book, and it did not disappoint! I love the thoughtful research put into understandable terms.

I absolutely loved this book. I found it super interesting and I feel like it's helpful for people to read and think about even if you're not in the midst of an active problem you're trying to solve. Nagoski takes a radically open approach to things like sex, desire, and gender, and really breaks down a lot of the socially ingrained things people think they "should" feel or do with regard to sex. This is a perspective I think everyone needs to hear, and I took a lot of notes. Each chapter also helpfully has a tl;dr at the end so you can reference key points later.

Thank you to Netgalley and Ballantine Books for the chance to read and review this ARC.

This was an informative and approachable book. It is different from my usual fare, and not everything in it is for me, but I think it could provide helpful information for lots of different people. As a married parent, spontaneous desire can be challenging, so I appreciated Nagoski's affirmation of the validity of responsive desire. There were specific strategies like the "emotional floorplan" that are great practical take-aways. Yet for a book that prides itself on being science-based, there were some aspects that didn't strike me as especially scientific (i.e., lines like "You are already perfect,") but that's where the "Art" part of the subtitle comes in. Nagoski has a unique and often enjoyable writing style that makes her writing approachable and compassionate. While the book struck me as maybe longer than it needed to be, I really appreciated the bite-sized summaries and questions at the end of each chapter. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this free eARC; I was not required to provide a positive review in exchange.

Dr. Emily is a genius. This book is the peer-reviewed resource that we need! Full of practical advice delivered in a non threatening way, this book is a must read.

“Come Together” is a non-fiction help book by Dr. Emily Nagoski. Yes, the title is a bit humorous because it is about sex, but it’s sex in one’s mature years. It was interesting because as I was reading the preface, Dr. Nagoski mentioned that there were three things to a lasting sex life and immediately I stated two things - which turned out to be two of the three things mentioned (go me!). Dr. Nagoski has done a lot of research in this arena and presents in a pretty science-based but easily understandable way how to have good long term sexual connections. This book was a titch too long for me, but I can understand why some people might need a more thorough explanation. This was an interesting book.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This is my second book by this author, I loved Come as You Are so I had to pick this one up too!

As always, this author brings research and facts but also makes me feel seen as a woman.

Come Together is a deep look at sex in long-term relationships. The book is filled with scientific facts, anecdotes and an informative and non-judging tone. This is a must read for all couples looking for great advice and new ideas to keep their relationship fresh and sexy!

In "Come Together," Emily Nagoski, PhD, once again delivers a groundbreaking exploration of human sexuality, this time focusing on the often-misunderstood realm of sex in long-term relationships. Building upon her earlier work in "Come as You Are," Nagoski dives deep into the complexities of maintaining a fulfilling sexual connection with a partner or spouse.

Nagoski offers readers a profound shift in thinking – it's not just about how much sex you have or how frequently, but rather, it's about whether you truly enjoy the sexual experiences you share. What sets "Come Together" apart is Nagoski's ability to demystify the truth about sexual satisfaction. She steers us away from the notion of "spontaneous desire" as the ultimate goal, advocating for a deeper understanding of what truly drives satisfying and lasting sexual connections. She provides readers with invaluable language and tools to navigate conversations about desire and arousal with our partners, dismantling the stigma around fluctuating libido.

She discusses the obstacles that hinder sexual enjoyment, ranging from stress and body image issues to relationship complexities and societal expectations. Additionally, she presents practical strategies for overcoming these barriers, helping readers create a blueprint for a fulfilling sexual life within the context of their unique emotional and relational dynamics. She approaches the topic with a sense of humor and compassion that truly makes this an educational and entertaining read.

This book is a game-changer for those looking to cultivate lasting and fulfilling connections with their partners. Thank you to the author and publisher for the opportunity to read.

This is a must-have resource. It is full of great strategies, advice, and easy to implement ideas. This is one I'll return to again and again. Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advanced copy of the book.

"Come Together" by Emily Nagoski, PhD, is an illuminating guide that takes a fresh perspective on the often misunderstood topic of maintaining a fulfilling sex life in long-term relationships. Building on her groundbreaking work in "Come as You Are," Nagoski dispels common myths surrounding sex, debunking the notion that desire inevitably wanes as relationships endure. Instead, she focuses on the essence of sexual satisfaction and the importance of enjoying the intimacy we share.

This book goes beyond mere frequency, delving into the quality of our sexual experiences. Nagoski skillfully dismantles barriers to sexual enjoyment, addressing issues ranging from stress and body image to relationship dynamics and societal expectations. With scientific rigor, wit, and empathy, Nagoski provides tools to foster lasting sexual connection. Readers will discover the importance of understanding emotional nuances, communicating with partners, and cultivating a sexy state of mind for a vibrant and enduring sex life. "Come Together" is a compassionate and insightful roadmap to unlocking the potential of great, lifelong intimacy.

Come Together is an informative, non-judgmental, and accessible look at sex in long-term relationships. The author offers compelling scientific research and anecdotes to illustrate her points and she very helpfully summarizes key takeaways at the end of each chapter. While the focus may be on sex in long-term relationships, I think many of the lessons are more broadly applicable to anyone wanting to better understand their bodies and their emotions and experience more pleasure and connection.

Thank you very much to Random House Ballantine and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED 'Come as You Are,' by Emily Nagoski, and knew that I needed to read her newest installment.

Same great balance of science and anecdote. Nagoski does a fantastic job of explaining concepts, and reframing them in various ways to make sure that it is understood.

My only qualm with this book is the assumption that even if you don't desire sex, it is worth it if there is pleasure. Desire is very different for different people and I don't love the message that you should try to make sex a regular part of your life if you do not desire it.

After being married 14 years and together 16, I felt this was a great refresher. I can see how parts felt redundant but they were easy to skim through and Emily is a wealth on knowledge. Concise information that was well put together.

I had read Come As You Are and thought it was fantastic, so maybe that's why I was slightly disappointed by this book. It was just a bit more boring than I would have expected? Part of it might be that I wasn't exactly searching for the material the same way I was her previous book, but rather read it because I like Nagoski's previous work. I would probably rank it a 3.5/5, but rounding down because I was routinely bored throughout. But if you are actively searching for help in your relationship, this has the potential to be much better.

This book offers some interesting advice for couples in long term relationships to get that spark back. The advice was practical and I think it would help many couples who are struggling. There were different scenarios and examples that explained the advice that was being given. The author seemed extremely knowledgeable and even discussed the situation from the different gender roles which would be more relatable for the reader. Overall, I think this would be a useful tool for those who need help with their intimacy.

Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for this ARC.

Don't let the comic title mislead you. If you are looking for erotica or masturbatory material, this book is not for you. What it is, is a treatise from PhD Emily Nagoski that can truly help you if you are young and inexperienced. Or if, as she says, you need to learn the difference between desire and wanting and other language defined for you, If so, this book may be just the ticket. If, on the other hand, you are a long-married (happily, I hope) person or couple, you will no doubt have figured out by now what works for you sexually. Using case studies from her own practice, Nagoski illustrates what occurs when the newness of a relationship moves into the complications brought into life by work, money concerns, children and more.

This book is entertaining in that it is well-written and amusing, while explaining sex, clinically and experientially, to those who want a textbook-like approach. It may also work for those who are either experiencing difficulties in their sex lives and don't want to feel alone in this, or to those who can't afford a therapist. I can see "Come Together" as a textbook for students earning a master's degree in social work (or beyond).

Emily Nagoski writes well, and the book, although overly long, I thought, is well worth your time. Thanks, NetGalley and the Publisher for an ARC copy of this booi.

This was an informative and interesting book. It is different than other books I usually read, but this is an important topic and I am really glad to have a copy of this book. It is great for someone who is in a long-term relationship and wants to start learning more about how to improve their sex lives.

Thanks so much to NetGalley and Random House Publishing - Ballantine.

Nagoski wrote Come As You Are, so I was excited when this recommendation popped up in my inbox.

She writes about sex in long term relationships. I really appreciated this honest look that addressed many misconceptions, specifically that sex in long term relationships is better at the beginning and then fizzles the longer than a couple stays together. She also talks a lot about barriers that prevent people from having great sex. This is an honest look at sex, and she does so in a way that's comfortable and funny! This book is so approachable and real, and I could read it without feeling awkward or embarrassed!

This was a book I did not read the blurb for. And I am not mad about that. Apparently the universe thought I may need this. And they would be correct.

Of course it is about sex. In your mature years. I, like a lot of women, thought that the heady passion days naturally waned in your sixties. That is not actually true.

Nagoski has done a lot of research and the things she is telling us are science based. So if it isn't about wild, hanging from the ceiling sex, what is it saying?It's about how you like your sex life.

I don't know what is keeping you shy about letting go in the bedroom, but for me it is that old body image thing. Now, there is nothing wrong there, it's just in my head. Nagoski talks about this and everything else, stress, rough patches, your "idea" of what sex should be.

You will find a lot of information on how to push through those intrusive thoughts as well as lots of laughing. Let's face it, it is a funny thing! After reading this twice, I had a chat with my husband and he had the same fears!

NetGalley/ RHPG-Ballentine, January 30,2023