Must have read of 2024!!!! It's Not You has been very eye opening for me! I am grateful to Dr. Ramani Durvasula for this book, as I finally feel heard and validated.
I have dealt with a narcissistic relationship for decades and have felt rather stuck and unheard by many, lacking support and understanding.
This book has not only encouraged me, but also has provided tools that can be useful in my healing process. The amount of research and scientific study that has gone into this book is astounding. I really appreciate the depth and clarity that went into crafting this book, to help many people dealing with narcissistic abuse.
I stumbled upon this book through Maria Shriver's weekly newsletter, and I want to say THANK You to both NetGalley and Open Field Publications/Penguin Group Viking, for the advanced review copy of this book. All of my opinions are my own.

I think a lot of people will pick up this book thinking they are dealing with a narcissist and perhaps realize a few pages in that they're not. That's a good thing. Even so, I found the author's compassionate voice and focus on the victims, rather than the narcissists themselves, to be a useful perspective. While this is not a book that will solve anyone's problems, maybe it will help someone feel seen and heard, and that's another good thing.

I adore Dr. Ramani and have listened to her for years. Her sensible advice and understanding voice were always helpful and this book is no different. It is full of stories of people who are easy to identify with that are relevant to the lessons. All lessons and activities are straightforward and achievable. This would be a great resource for pretty much anyone in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic behaviors or know someone who is.

You Tube favorite Dr Ramani has done it again. A fabulous book on the dangers of narcissistic abuse and what those caught up in its whirlwind of chaos can do to escape. This is a fantastic book. The reader won’t be overwhelmed with psychology but given common sense tools to deal with the problem. Get out and stay out.

Dr. Durvasula talks to her readers in a straightforward, honest voice. She does not sugar coat the difficulties of being exposed to a narcissistic person. More importantly, she talks to her readers about what they can do for themselves, not what they can do for the narcissistic person(s) in their lives.
So much advice is to leave the relationship, but often that is not possible. Dr. Durvasula addresses that hard truth. For those that have to or choose to stay in a relationship that suffers from narcissistic difficulties, she provides actionable steps to make it easier. Not easy, but easier. Bullet points at the end of each chapter make it easy to reference and practice her advice.
Those that choose to leave or those that choose to stay in a relationship with a narcissistic person can all find help and hope in this much needed addition to the relationship canon.