Cover Image: The D Word

The D Word

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Member Reviews

No one should go lightly into the d word and I think this book is a great resource for anyone contemplating divorce. The author has been through it herself and has solid advice and guidance.

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I was fully prepared for fluff. The kind of self- help book that bores you to tears in cliches. This is not that book. Don’t read unless you’re truly prepared to take in its spot on, clear and logistical advice. I would recommend this to anyone feeling stuck. While I personally am not grappling with the particular issues it brings attention to, I found the authors frankness rather refreshing.

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Title: Empowering Women in Relationships: A Review of "The D Word" by Kate Anthony

In a world where marriage and divorce can be complex and emotionally charged topics, Kate Anthony's book, "The D Word," provides a refreshing and empowering perspective, particularly tailored to women who find themselves at the crossroads of deciding whether to stay in a rocky relationship or embark on the journey of divorce. In short, it's the book I wish I could have read while I tortured myself for a few years deciding whether or not to leave my first husband. I am in my second marriage now, and though it isn't perfect, I am not reading this book to decide whether I should stay or go - I read it more out of curiosity and as a bit of healing to my former self.

From the outset, Anthony's thesis is abundantly clear: Women have the right to happiness, and they should feel empowered to make the decision that is right for them. This central message serves as the guiding light throughout the book, ensuring that readers understand the ultimate goal of "The D Word."

"The D Word" sets out to address fundamental questions that many women in challenging relationships grapple with: Am I being abused? Should I stay for the kids? Should I get divorced? These are questions that can weigh heavily on anyone's heart, and Anthony takes a compassionate yet unflinchingly honest approach to provide guidance.

One of the most critical questions for any reader is whether the book meets its expectations and accomplishes its goals. In the case of "The D Word," it undoubtedly does. Anthony's unwavering commitment to empowering women to make informed and safe decisions shines through every chapter. Anthony builds her arguments using a combination of personal anecdotes, client stories, and compelling statistics. Her personal experiences as a woman who left her career to care for her son and subsequently got divorced, as well as her journey as an abuse survivor, lend a deeply personal and relatable dimension to the book. This personal touch resonates with readers and underscores her credibility.

Throughout the book, Anthony supplements her arguments with relevant statistics, such as those on remarriage rates and inequities in household labor. These facts not only add weight to her claims but also offer readers valuable insights into the broader context of marriage and divorce.

"The D Word" covers all aspects of its subject matter adequately, delving into the emotional, psychological, and practical aspects of deciding whether to stay in a troubled marriage or seek a divorce. Anthony's approach, which leans more towards life coaching rather than clinical therapy, is appropriate for the intended audience. Her coaching-style guidance is a strength, as it provides practical advice that readers can readily apply to their own lives. However, it ends very abruptly; the last chapter doesn't seem to close things out. It just ends.

In a field where many books take a clinical or impartial approach to the subject of divorce, "The D Word" stands out due to its distinct life coaching perspective. Anthony's unique qualifications as a victim of abuse, a divorcee, and a professional in the field add authenticity and depth to her insights. There are actionable steps: tips on how to survive abuse and get out safely, how to approach the "we are getting divorced" conversation, and more.

One notable aspect of "The D Word" is its unwavering focus on the female perspective. Rather than attempting to provide an unbiased view or give equal weight to both sides of the marriage/divorce equation, Anthony unapologetically centers the book in the female experience. She fearlessly addresses the inherent power dynamics in heterosexual marriages and offers unvarnished advice on dealing with abusive relationships. (She mentions lesbian couples a few times, but this is a book that will likely most apply to the specific dynamics in mixed gender pairings.)

Ultimately, what makes "The D Word" a standout in its genre is its message of empowerment and self-trust. Anthony eschews platitudes and offers holistic and spiritual suggestions that encourage readers to prioritize their own happiness and well-being. Her overarching message is clear: Trust yourself, value your happiness, and remember that you have the right to choose the path that brings you fulfillment.

My rating applies to the intended audience: women who are trying to make the difficult decision to leave their spouses or not. I think that the practical exercises could be expanded, options for women who do decide to stay could have been more developed, and I would like to see the ending resolved more elegantly. Still, my 2017 self would have held onto this book like a life raft, so I am rating accordingly.

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In "The D Word" by Kate Anthony, readers embark on a transformative journey through the labyrinth of marital dilemmas. Anthony, renowned for her no-nonsense approach, empowers women to confront their innermost doubts and uncertainties, illuminating the path to a brighter future. With candor and insight, this book unravels the complexities of relationships, offering solace to those at the crossroads of marriage.

Anthony doesn't just provide a practical guide for contemplating divorce but also exposes the insidious influence of societal norms on women's choices. Her wisdom becomes a compass for confident decision-making, enabling lasting growth and change, whether one chooses to remain in a marriage or venture into the unknown. As a trusted companion, "The D Word" extends a supportive hand through the daunting process of divorce, providing answers to the questions that haunt women in this pivotal life transition. With clarity and integrity, this book helps readers find their way to a life aligned with their true desires.

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