As the mother of a girl who was “too social” to have autism, this book hits home. Girls present differently than boys, and it’s a spectrum for a reason. As the old saying goes “if you know someone with autism, then you know one person with autism.” Everyone with autism is an individual. Just like the neurotypical community. It’s hard to believe we all still need so much educating in 2024, but we do. We are always changing and learning. Paige Layle provides a much needed voice on this topic. I’ve heard complaints about the author’s age, but why would we make someone wait until a certain age to share their story? Her perspective is vital and I’m appreciative she took the time to write this book and help make autistic people feel more seen, and to help the rest of us understand a little bit more.

But Everyone Feels this Way by Paige Layle reads as part memoir, part educational piece and part self help. Paige was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in her early teens and shares her experience as a child living with undiagnosed autism and how her diagnosis changed her life. Paige gives us an honest look into what life has been like for her. I learned a lot about autism throughout this book and she has inspired me to continue to learn more. She is an excellent teacher and gives easy to digest comparisons to help ensure understanding. I always find it challenging to rate a memoir because I never want to judge someone's personal story but I struggled with the slow pacing and felt the language used was for a young adult audience. Overall I think this book could be a great resource to help allistic people better understand the experience of living with autism. Thank you to Hachette Books and NetGalley for the ARC.

This book read like a high school report. The language and the way she littered copy paste facts through out the book. It felt strange to read a memoir of someone so young who hasn’t lived much.

Would be good book for therapist to recommend to a young person getting diagnosed. One time a therapist recommended a book for me that was pretty baseline but so eye opening for me at the time. I think this book could do that for a tween getting diagnosed for the first time that they are in the spectrum.

It also felt weird reading a whole book of someone complaining about their experience that has grown up with so much advantage and privilege. The nice school, after school programs, multiple therapists, and opportunity to be enrolled in a mental hospital… and even the super supportive mom who did things like add her asd to her school file immediately.

Has a whole section about ableism but says ableist things on social media.

Quote from one of her videos : “non vocal autistics have no thoughts no brain. “

She says multiple times in the book how highly intelligent she is. More than anyone she knows. I found this exciting because she has been called out on social media for saying she knows better how to raise an autistic child more than any parent.

This was a fun social experiment. I didnt love the book. I don’t think I much like the author either.

I've followed Paige on TikTok for a couple of years, ever since I first began questioning if I was autistic. I was excited to learn more about her life and the events leading up to her autism diagnosis. I like Paige's writing style a lot; she's definitely very intelligent and articulate. I really appreciated reading about the experience of someone whose struggles were overlooked because they did well in school and didn't make trouble.

*Thank you NetGalley and Hachette Books for sending me this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.*

Like many others, I came across Paige on TikTok at the beginning of the pandemic. I always enjoyed their videos as they are informative, personal and engaging. Their passion for the subjects they cover surrounding autism is contagious, making it hard to look away.

Paige brings us on a journey that spans from childhood to adulthood and depicts the impact of autism on their life. We get to see how alienating and distressing it can be to struggle in plain sight. As an allistic person, I gained a lot of insight from reading But Everyone Feels This Way. I can only imagine how beneficial it would be for individuals who experience similar challenges, whether they have been diagnosed or not.

I also appreciated the book's format, which helped me better understand Paige's thought process.

Final thoughts: Neurodivergent or not, don't hesitate to pick it up. It is extremely touching and inspiring.

This is a highly detailed portrait of what it looks like to grow up without an autism diagnosis. Girls often mask their symptoms, so it didn’t use to be diagnosed in girls as frequently as it is now. As some reviewers have noted, everyone’s experience with autism is different, and that’s precisely why it can be so challenging to get a diagnosis. Paige does a great job laying this out, as well as explaining that people on the spectrum tend to have other issues that can sometimes make it harder to get that diagnosis. It’s very validating to get a late in life diagnosis, which I’m pursuing now that both my kids are on the spectrum and autism runs in my family. A very important book indeed!

I enjoyed this book and the perspectives that Paige has from the effects of ASD labels, the change in one's view of oneself, how society is made for allistic individuals, and the adult perspective of an ASD diagnosis. Throughout my education learning about those with disabilities, I primarily learned about children, specifically boys, experiencing the characteristics of ASD, so it is refreshing to hear a different perspective. Thank you, Paige, for sharing your experiences.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette for the opportunity to read this ARC.
This book comes out on March 26th, 2024!

Like, I think most people, I came across Paige via her TikTok. I loved her clear passion for educating and how well she balanced what she shares vs (what seemed to me) her self-assurance in not needing to please everyone watching. When the opportunity came to read her memoir, I jumped at the chance! (And huge thank yous to NetGalley and Hachette for said opportunity.)
The book opens with the day Paige received her diagnosis and then takes us back to the very beginning - the first fifteen years of her life, where she was going through the world day by day with no understanding of why she felt the way she did. As a late-diagnosed autistic, so much of what she was feeling resonated with me when I look back and reflect on my own childhood. I think this book will resonate equally with others who are late-diagnosed. As I was reading, I was high-lighting bits that made me say "same hat!" in relation to things that I found I connected to. In just over 200 pages, I had nearly forty highlights.
When she is first diagnosed, she has this idea that having the diagnosis will be a solution, but we're all brought along her journey as she discovers that it is just another part of the journey as she uncovers the true version of herself that's been hidden away. I think her story has a lot of very important things to say about the difficulties with unmasking and how that will have a huge ripple affect on interpersonal relationships. I find myself wondering if this might not be a very good resource for allistic people who want to better understand the autistic people in their lives, because of how much unmasking can change the way people interact.
I also really enjoyed the discussions on language, on people-first vs identity-first, and even more so on the usefulness of categorizing by functionality or support-needs and how neither works as a generalization.

I applaud Paige Layle for sharing their experience with the world and writing this memoir. I have been a (TikTok) follower of Layle for some time now and this book helped me understand some of the perspectives they have and communicates on their online platform— primarily their content regarding parents who have children with ASD and their content regarding the structure of current education systems.

I encourage future readers of this book to frequently remember and remind themselves while reading that this is Layle’s personal experience with getting an ASD diagnosis and what life looks like for THEM. I think this book would benefit from a formal disclaimer, as I worry people who are starting to learn about ASD will take this book and run with it as the "Autism Experience" when that is not the case for all people with ASD.

I am sure writing this book was both challenging but also therapeutic and healing for Layle. I’m looking forward to seeing how Layle will continue to grow as a person/author/advocate/content creator.

Thank you NetGalley for a copy of this book!

After learning more about Paige through her TikTok and some of the harmful things she has said and supported, I have deceived to not move forward with reading this book.

A beautiful book that I easily related to. Autism can feel so lonely and has been portrayed as an entirely different disorder than it truly is. I loved that in "But Everyone Feels This Way" there is the clear evidence that autism is a spectrum and effects every single person differently. It is a very individualistic disorder and it's important to realize it doesn't show up the same way in every person.

A fantastic read for everyone looking for information on autism, how people present, symptoms, etc.

This book is phenomenal when it comes to providing education through the real life experiences of an autistic individual. As an autism therapist who primarily works with autistic women with later in life diagnosis, I will absolutely be recommending this book to anyone who needs to relate to others experiences. I am neurotypical, or allistic, as Paige refers to in the book, and her story really made me think about the experiences that autistic individuals have each day. I am happy Paige was able to share her story and I think it will make a difference in so many lives of people feeling misunderstood by others and even themselves.

To be honest, I got a bit lost/bored at the beginning and the end of the book which was disappointing. BUT everything in between was so beautifully done. I’m glad Paige could get her story out there and I’m glad I got to read it.

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

The second I finished this book I took a deep breath and sobbed because this is exactly what I needed, and what so many people, I suspect, need to. Please, if you can get your hands on this book, read it! Maybe for yourself, for someone you know, but more importantly for the neurodivergent folks you will meet. I myself have been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, but have really struggled with my feeling of self. These labels explain parts of me and my behaviors/reactions, but I have always felt guilty and ashamed of the way my brain thinks, and wondered why everything feels so much harder than those around me at times. Reading Paige's words felt like breathing again, like someone else could finally articulate exactly how I felt as a child, and how I even feel now. She describes her experiences so beautifully that I genuinely felt like I was there alongside her, probably partly because I relate to her so strongly. I loved all the ‘Field Notes’ part of the book that gave more insights into what she was thinking at the time, my ADHD self really likes footnotes and other little notes throughout books, so this scratched my little brain itch. Paige intertwines her personal experiences as an autistic woman with facts about autism and helpful advice, and I was so happy she included this! I honestly believe this book would be great for younger teenagers to read to fully understand what autism is, and also how autistic individuals think and experience the world. Obviously, every neurodivergent person thinks differently, but this would be a good beginning to a deeper conversation. I especially love how Paige discussed her school experiences with an IEP, and how helpful these accommodations were for her. I had an IEP plan after I received my diagnosis but my school didn’t have any guidance counselors nor accommodations to give to me, so it felt quite pointless. I remember when I went to college I thought I could try using my IEP again and get serious with getting help this time, but I felt shame, like I was wrong or dumb, but more importantly I was ‘normal’ enough so I didn't feel I deserved the extra help. Paige made me realize how wrong I was, how much better it could have been if I was a bit more brave. She gave me dozens of ‘A-ha’ moments throughout, some that made me laugh, beam, and cry. Some of my harder school experiences included my own heightened emotions, my panic attacks, how I would completely skip classes and hide to avoid hard things. How I would bend and fold to peer pressure and say things I didn’t believe in to fit in, I’m sure everyone does that but I treated it like a lifeline. Like I had to be what everyone else was, or else. To this day I have never felt like I truly fit in with my peers, like it feels significantly harder for me than everyone else. I brought this up with my doctor once, I told her that I read online that a lot of ADHD and autism traits overlap, and maybe I’m not just ADHD, perhaps it’s more? She told me there could be a good chance I was autistic, but I have never talked to a psychologist further. Whether I do or don’t, I don’t know, although I have my suspicions. I too have been told my whole life that everyone feels like I do, but that never really felt true to me. Thank you Paige, for making me realize my experiences are valid, and no, not everyone feels like this, and that’s okay.

I gave this 5 stars for being an enjoyable and honest piece, for shedding some light on autism, for being vulnerable and helpful. I hope Paige puts out more books in the future, I would especially like to hear about her dealing with the trauma her parents put her through, especially her mother, and how she has dealt with it.

Thank you Paige, Hachette Books, and NetGalley for providing this book for review consideration!

This has been the best book I’ve ever read detailing the female perspective with Autism. Ms Layle is well spoken, concise and yet thorough, and most of all, her authentic voice rings through clear as a bell. Ms Layle beautifully conveys the bewildering and lonely reality for most females with ASD - that they’re somehow kept in the dark about social cues and why their brains work differently.
As an older female who suspects that she also has ASD based on an adult child’s diagnosis of the same, it’s slightly eerie having some of my own life experiences relayed to me.
Bravo to a much needed new voice in the spectrum!

Wow. I could write pages and PAGES for a review but I wont do that to y’all. This was a beautifully written first person telling of a young woman’s experience being autistic (with other related diagnoses)- as a child and as an adult. She’s allowed herself the vulnerability of sharing her story with all of us and I think that’s beautiful.

I do not have an autism diagnosis, but I do suffer from depression, anxiety, and OCD like Paige does. I was anxious to read this book, knowing I would probably be able to relate a lot to Paige regarding her symptoms of those disorders and WOW was I ever correct! There were so many lines and idiosyncrasies on so many pages that I highlighted and said “Hey that’s me!” Or “omg I do those things too / feel the same exact way as she does”. I’m not sure I’ve ever related to a book more and this one will be a permanent fixture on my bookcase as soon as it’s published. It was very eye opening and comforting knowing I’m not alone in how my brain works and my feelings and struggles and emotions are valid.

I’d never heard of Paige prior to this, but after reading her book, I looked her up on TikTok and all I can say is- what an intelligent, bubbly, kind, mature, and impressive young woman she is balancing all in life that she is. I have gained so much respect for her. I hope this is just one of many future books she will publish about her many diagnoses and her coping mechanisms. I will buy every single one of them.

Thank you SO much to Hachette Books (publisher) and Netgalley for the advanced readers copy of this book! I’ve never been so excited to have been accepted for an ARC book and I will forever be grateful that I had the honor of reading this book. This book had so much to offer even for non-autistic (allistic) people. 10/10 recommend!

This book gave personal insight into what the author experienced growing up autistic. This book was a page-turner, one in which every word was read and treasured. Not being understood on the social spectrum while learning how to accept oneself as authentic is difficult. The author takes you with her as she navigates her life through her formidable years, her struggles are real. She shares an intimate part of herself while writing this book. I found this read consuming, as one who is struggling with a diagnosis myself. I would recommend this book for addition to our library collection. Thank you to the author for writing this!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Every autistic person has a different story to tell and as the saying goes, if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. It's refreshing to read autism book from an adult female's perspective. I was diagnosed at age 40 and felt very misunderstood during my years in school too. I'm so glad she was able to be diagnosed to at least get some help. It's sad her parents and other people were so unsupportive for so long. Hopefully this book will shed some light for those who are or know someone who is autistic.

Rating: 4.5/5

"But Everyone Feels This Way" by Paige Layle is a heartfelt and enlightening memoir that offers readers a unique glimpse into the life of an autistic woman who received her diagnosis later in life. With her candid and conversational writing style, Layle invites us into her world, making us feel like we're chatting with a close friend. This approachable tone is one of the book's many strengths, allowing readers to gain a deeper understanding of how autism truly affects individuals.

The book is a powerful exploration of autism, dispelling stigmas, challenging taboos, and breaking down stereotypes. Paige Layle's journey is inspirational, as she learns to embrace her authentic, autistic self while navigating a world that often misunderstands and marginalizes those with autism.

One of the standout features of this book is Layle's ability to articulate her experiences and emotions with clarity and honesty. Her narrative is both raw and empathetic, allowing readers to connect with her on a profound level. Through her words, we gain insights into the daily challenges of being autistic, from sensory sensitivities to social interactions.

While "But Everyone Feels This Way" is a valuable resource for those seeking to better understand autism, it also serves as an essential reminder that every individual's experience with autism is unique. Layle's book encourages empathy, compassion, and a reevaluation of preconceived notions about autism and neurodiversity.

The only reason this review does not award a full 5 stars is because, at times, the narrative could benefit from a slightly tighter structure. Some readers may find themselves wishing for a more linear progression of events, as the narrative occasionally meanders. However, this does not diminish the overall impact of the book.

In summary, "But Everyone Feels This Way" is a compelling and eye-opening memoir that sheds light on the lived experiences of an autistic woman. Paige Layle's candid, friendly, and authentic storytelling makes this book an engaging and essential read for anyone looking to broaden their understanding of autism and the importance of embracing one's true self. It's a must-read for those who wish to challenge stereotypes, break down barriers, and foster a more inclusive society.

This was a transparent, emotional recount of Paige's journey to being diagnosed as autistic. I can relate a lot to her challenges and how she excelled in academics but struggled in so many other ways. I think it's super important to have different perspectives of autism shown in media, especially outside of the stereotypical "autistic boy". Lack of representation is part of the reason I struggled so long to understand myself, so I admire Paige for sharing her story and advocating for autism awareness.