This book has the unfortunate distinguishment of being the book that's lingered the longest in my NetGalley queue, and that's because it is boring. I never gave up on it - it was something to return to when I was irritated with another book I was reading and needed a break, or when I was too tired to focus on a book I really liked and just needed to read a little something before falling asleep, and one time when I got higher than I meant to and found myself unexpectedly fascinated by the way the words on the page made tiny squares (???).

The entire structure of this book is as follows -

Chapter Whatever: You've heard about this type of marriage situation before, and yep, it's a thing that happens! Here are a couple of anecdotes about early occurrences of this. Pretty gnarly right? Here are a number of court cases where that went REALLY badly. Damn, seems like society is pretty shitty to women. You hate to see it. Here are some relevant cool illustrations!

Popping off a three star because it wasn't BAD, really, I did like the illustrations a lot and the fact that women get dicked over by societal institutions is, if not scalding hot tea, still something it doesn't hurt to be reminded of lest we get complacent. I think I just prefer my non-fiction books to have a little more narrative excitement going on, and the subject itself wasn't fascinating enough to me to overcome the relatively dry style. But hook all your divorcée friends up with a copy for sure, and then go out, get drunk, and toast to being single, baby.

My thanks to Steerforth and NetGalley for the ARC.

I am not normally a nonfiction reader. At all. This book happened to catch my eye and I’m so glad it did! Zug did a deep dive into such a basic idea and made it so interesting. The addition of her own family’s stories, along with pop culture references to better picture things, were a great addition.

Thanks to NETGALLEY and Steerforth for access to this title. All opinions expressed are my own.

A non fiction read for my last day of January. Marcia A.Zug presents a throughly crafted examination of marriage laws and court cases in the history of the United States from the 18th century to the present day. Illustrations and detailed citations accompany the themes written below.

The chapters included in this book are

1. The Marital Bargain

2. The Government Loves a Gold Digger

3. The Power Couple: Marrying for Status and Power

4.The Marriage Defense

5. The Married Parent

6.Marrying for Money Part Deux


Aside from being interested in the content, my reaction to this book is that sometimes it was hard to stomach the facts. This book could also have been subtitled "What lawmakers have put people through and how they barely survived."


Publication Date 09/01/24
Goodreads review published 01/02/24

#YoullDo #NetGalley.

This book was just “meh” for me. I felt like I was reading it because I had to finish it instead of reading it because I wanted to finish it. I can’t quite put my finger on what it was.

A wonderfully eye-opening and well-researched journey into the laws and social rules that have dictated marriage and love. Easily readable and clearly well sourced.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

This isn't my usual genre of book but I was intrigued by the concept and perspective of this book. I probably wouldn't read it again but I did enjoy the book. I liked that some of the authors conclusions were backed up by real life court cases and newspaper articles as it helped to give more depth and showed that the author had clearly done some research into making this book as informative as possible.

I'm not sure if it has put me off marriage but made you think about the whole constitution of marriage in a lot more depth than I ever have,

I really enjoyed this. I learnt so much and it forced me to look more into the equivalent law or belief here in the uk.

Insightful and surprising…

Inspired by her aunt’s own marital situation, the author created a fact-filled, surprising view of the constitution of marriage through United States history. I always considered marriage, at the heart, to be about the heart in some way or another. This book offers a more insightful opinion, providing an abundance of proof that economics and practicality – and surprisingly the legal system – have influenced marriage equally, if not more profoundly, than love itself.

From broken engagements to long-standing marriages, a legally-binding relationship began or ended in many different ways. There was usually an emotional stake but there were also ramifications on reputation, economics and even legal status. How public opinion and the laws of the land had their own influence was, at times, surprising and (honestly) shocking. Living in a country that values freedom as much as in the U.S., my eyes were definitely opened.

And I didn’t have to take this author’s word for it as there were dozens if not hundreds references and citations to provide evidence. An eye-opener, socially and culturally significant book that was as factual as it was entertaining.

Marriage is such an interesting topic to read about and I love the premise of this book focusing specifically on reasons we have gotten married throughout history. What a fun read!

"You'll Do" is an interesting overview over non-love-reasons for marriage and how they have changed and stayed the same throughout the years.

I really liked this book: the writing style worked for me, the case studies were interesting, and I would love to read something like it for my own country.

Thank you to the author, Steerforth and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The blurb on this is the first clue that language matters: the book looks at the institution of marriage in a uniquely American context - I highly doubt that (as the blurb states) marriage is a uniquely American institution. Parts of this were fascinating, in terms of looking at the historical importance and development of the concept of marriage. Overall, it was a bit dry and uneven - too many footnotes that are hard to follow, and yet too general to actually be scholarly. Part of my problem was that I was expecting something with at least a tinge of lightheartedness, and this was notably absent. Overall, informative and clearly written by an author who is passionate about their subject.

"The Government loves a gold digger", states the title of Chapter Two here, of a book showing the reasons other than amour that get someone in the marital bed, and the pernicious social, governmental and financial reasons that actually backed up and encouraged that kind of thing. Now, the first chapter had looked into the real gold diggers – both the men trying to gain possession of a rich woman's wealth, seeing as he would generally have control of it upon marriage, and the women trying to latch on to and keep, spend or plain purloin the loot of a man. But this chapter two starts with the bride saying "I do" to gain a war pension, often with generations between them in age. One such woman promptly married her old fella's grandson when the coast was clear.

After that we see the social engineering involved in getting women, settled men and families into Iowa, Oregon and other states – surely something few histories of marriage have worried over. And that's by no means the only time and way people have been forced to marry for purposes of movement – single women would never have been allowed into the USA after WWI, but put a ring on it and it was a lot easier.

Elsewhere there are benefits, both financial and otherwise, thrown at married people. Tax benefits are one thing, the right to not have your spouse testify against you in a murder case is another. People actively sexually humiliating co-workers of the same gender at work have gotten away with it because of their hetero spouse back at home. All the while, the married people get the status, benefits and rights, and the singletons amongst us get lower status, more demeaning opinions about us, and fewer rights. Some people have been unable to get a discrimination claim when a work-place relationship has raised potential issues, that would not have batted any eyelids had a certain certificate been present.

And the whole shebang can worryingly concern other people if, as shown here, people remarry to get custody rights of previous offspring over now-single exes, or if people are forced into marriage to qualify for adoption or artificial insemination plans.

This was pretty much all I could have expected from this. It is academical – dig the scale of the notes keeping the core of the book so readable – and yet not without humour. I had feared it would be stultifyingly USA-only, and while it practically is all concerning American laws, lawsuits and cases, it is still enjoyable to read. Oh and if you are ever short of snide wedding gifts, this is the deal – this is ever interesting, even if so many instances pepper these pages of people you just would not want to be, or marry. Four and a half stars.

A very interesting take on the topic of history of marriage and relationships! Thanks to Netgalley for the advance reader copy.

Thank you Netgalley and Steerforth press for access to this arc.

I knew from the blurb that this wasn’t going to be a lighthearted, fun look at the history of the institution of marriage in the United States. And it wasn’t. But by the end of chapter one, I knew it was going to be a fairly bleak examination of something that most people take for granted that they will, at one point in their lives, be a part of – marriage. As far as how it affects women, minorities, and immigrants, well let’s just say that despite some laws meant to help, and many laws meant to hinder, the outcome usually isn’t good.

I must warn people about chapter four. Chapter four is one huge trigger warning as it basically describes the many ways that marriage can be used as a “Get Out of Jail Free” card by abusers, criminal suspects, and rapists among others. If this isn’t bad enough, the (recent) statements made by judges in some of these cases are enough to make me want to go postal on them. Apparently, based on studies of Civil War pensions, bigamy was widespread in an age in which divorce was difficult.

Marcia Zug has produced a book that is well written and detailed with about 70 some pages of footnotes but which is still accessible for an armchair reader. “You’ll Do” is an informative but (I’ll be honest) ultimately depressing look at why people marry for reasons other than love. B-

Illuminating and clear-eyed about why we marry and what results, Marcia Zug's YOU'LL DO is a fascinating dive into the machinery and system of marriage in the rights conferred, benefits promised, and happily ever after of fairy tales. Her thorough examination of the topic is like nothing I have ever seen before, suggesting how differing agendas intersect in the individual drive for partnership, trust, and love. I am now better informed and more aware of how and why individuals join lives -- and reasons why unions fall short or completely disintegrate as well as reasons to thrive and grow together and as individuals. I received a copy of this book and these opinions are my own, unbiased thoughts.

Marriage? For love? Not for everyone. You’ll Do is an interesting and quick read. Sometimes surprising and sometimes downright shocking, this book brings awareness to some of the reasons couples marry. It brings to light many injustices with the institution many of us associate with love. It’s an eye-opener and would be a great book for open discussion.

Thanks to NetGalley and Steerforth for providing me with an ARC of this book.

This book offers an insight into marriage and the reasons for marriage down the line and I found it to be very interesting, though it focuses mostly on America and draws from some bits of Europe-and quite interesting especially that bit on cavemen.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.

This book critically analyzes marriage’s elevated status in American culture, exploring how society has long relied on it to address injustices while deflecting responsibility from government and institutions. Through historical examples from slavery to the Depression, the author illustrates the problematic tradition of using marriage as a solution to racial, gender, and economic discrimination rather than directly confronting systemic societal issues.

This book offers a thorough and in-depth exploration of the politics and social norms relating to marriage throughout American history. The writing style is engaging and easy to read. The tongue-in-cheek title is a little misleading, since this is a serious and sometimes scathing analysis.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC I received. This is my honest and voluntary review.

A very informative book about the history of the whys of marriage. It not only gives the reasons, but plenty of interesting, informative examples. Great read if you are into the history of marriage! :)

It has to be said upfront that even though this book is written by a lawyer and talks about laws, it can be read with great pleasure by people without legal background. In her book, Marcia Zug looks at a place of marriage in America and subsequently all the values and benefits society ascribes to marriage. Marcia Zug explains that marriage isn't always a consummation of love, there are many other reasons for people to get married. She is using her family's example as a starting point of her interest in the subject. In early 1930s, her aunt traveled to Poland to marry her friend's brother. She didn't know or love him, her sole purpose was to save his life since their marriage allowed him to escape Poland where as a Jew he most likely would have perished during World War II. That story told at the beginning of the book grabs your attention, and what follows is even more fascinating. With subtle humor and help from many legal cases, Zug looks at many instances when laws governing marriage can serve not only to people's benefit but also to denigrate or discriminate women, unmarried people, non-white people, and poor, sometimes against the intended purpose of the law and sometimes to allow the society to use marriage as "a Band-Aid...when society is too sexist, too racist, or just too lazy to implement better solutions." The book gives you an appreciation of how difficult it is to craft the fool-proof law and how unfair, bias and outdated the law can be. Among the reasons to marry she identifies financial security, desire to elevate one of the parties’ social, political, racial, or immigration status or acquire some other benefit the society grants to married people. One of the most nefarious reasons discussed in the book is using marriage as defense and protection against criminal prosecution. The book is very educational. It is fascinating to follow the progression of legal argument, and the author makes it easy to understand complex legal concepts. People who like watching court TV shows will enjoy this book, people interested in feminism will definitely find it worthwhile. It should be also recommended to younger people who are considering marriage's pros and cons.