Single Today: Conquer Yesterday’s Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow’s Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are by Ryan Wekenman Book Review


In Single Today, Ryan Wekenman has written a book geared to assist single people in learning to enjoy and thrive in whatever season they are currently in. Everyone has a season of singleness and some people are okay with it and others struggle greatly. He has been single for 34 years and he admits to loving it at least 82 % of the time. Like most he sometimes questions if he will be fine with missing out on a family. He could just enjoy spending time with his nephew and niece. He wonders if he is okay missing out on a deep trust you only build with spending years with a spouse. We often wonder are we running out of time and all the good ones will be taken. He explained their is two enemies to singleness. They are yesterday filled with shame and regret and tomorrow and fearing what’s going to happen in the future. He opened up about how he is a single pastor and at times he even questioned was there something wrong with him. He had people walk up up to him telling him that they would like him to be married by this time next year. Marriage is God’s idea and we are supposed to be fruitful and multiply. He felt the stings of their words and felt his soul would be buried alive with the worries. He opened up about he received help from a spiritual mentor and he helped him by looking at the story of the pool at Bethesda and how he probably had a lot of hope that on day one he would be healed. When that didn’t happen and it took years he must have lost his excitement. This story caused him to do the inner work and he questioned like most of us do is there something wrong with us as to why we don’t have any luck with falling in love. He explored Jesus life and how he was also single and was in ministry. Another big part of the book was how he looked at Mary and Martha and how they both handle things differently. He pulls out key lessons and related the story back to singleness.


One of my favorite discussions was about the system to keep from getting stuck in the past. You can begin your morning by picking three things you’re thankful for. You can end the day by journaling and processing your day and end and begin with gratitude. It will help you to let go of the past to move forward on to a brighter future. I think this is a wonderful tool to use daily and refocus on gratitude. I also liked how he covered Mary’s story and how she had to learn to let go of the past and to discover her purpose. I immensely enjoyed how he related it back to singleness and used to explain some of the topics around it. I liked how he revealed the gift of singleness and others need to recognize that people may have that gift. I can greatly relate to his story and have been single most of my life too. This book is a wonderful encouragement to anyone who is single and will provide them with much needed encouragement. I also liked how he included discussion questions to assist readers in going deeper.

I was excited when I heard about this book. However, I found it hard to get into. I wasn't what I expected from a book of this nature.

Love this book so much! Grateful for the reminders and the truth in this book!! Looking forward to new releases from this author!

4.5 stars

I decided that this year I need to start living again and this book came at the perfect time! I highlighted so much in my ebook and I loved the writing style. It's conversational with little remarks and thoughts from the author sprinkled throughout. Very casual and approachable.

This book is divided into three parts so I am going to review each part. Parts 1 and 2 are confronting the two enemies to singleness and then everything comes together in part 3.

PART 1
First he addresses the pain of the past. I've been learning to sort through things from my past in the last couple of years. I'm learning to feel, to recognize and name emotions, and to forgive. The big takeaway for me from this part was to not get stuck in the past. I was stuck for a long time and I've been working to get going again so this provided some extra motivation. Some favorite quotes from this section:

"Your past will always be part of your story, but you don't have to let it drive."

"Singleness is a gift. It really is. But if you are single and don't want to be, you probably don't see it that way. Gratitude is the decision to be single today. To play the hand you've been dealt to the best of your ability."

"Do the work, but don't obsess over it. Confront your past, and then be content with where you are. Set up a system, and then trust the process. Be proud of how far you've come, and then laugh about how far you still have to go. Be honest about yesterday, and then release it and practice being single today."

I really appreciated the Grace & Truth segments in this section. I needed to be reminded of those things.

PART 2
Then we shift to the fear of tomorrow. I'm about 50/50 between these two enemies, but my pain from my past influences the things I'm fearful of about the future. It's quite the mess :) The focus here is to calm the storm in your soul from fear of what will happen. I appreciated how he likened this ability to using a muscle. It gets stronger the more you do it. That helps me want to keep trying.

Some points to remember:
- Ask what the panic is trying to teach you.
- Panic is a sign that you're holding something too tightly.
- Every season of life has advantages and disadvantages. Be grateful for what you have and don't think about what you don't.
- There is always something to applaud or celebrate with someone and people always can use some encouragement.

PART 3
Now we get to today. Living presently in the moment. This is what I am trying to learn. The main idea here is to take your focus off of yourself. Life is not about me. I am not here for me. I am here to be Jesus' hands and feet and serve others in His name.

"Today you have an opportunity to share your skills with the world. Instead of being stuck in yesterday or consumed by tomorrow, you can make the conscious decision to live for something greater than yourself by being single today!"

Oh yeah. And my favorite topic ever - conflict. Something else I have been learning about the past few years. I avoided conflict for years but I paid for it. Single or not, if you interact with people, you'll face conflict.

"Maybe Jesus was single to show each person (regardless of relational status) what it looks like to live with a heart wide open to everyone."

This was an amazing book that I will be reading again (and buying). So why didn't I give it five stars? Because of the interludes.

Between each section is an interlude where Ryan talks about each of the interactions that Mary (sister of Martha and Lazarus) had with Jesus. Ryan shows each of his points in Mary's life. I understand what he is doing but it's reading a LOT into the Scriptures and making a lot of assumptions. He may be right, but I just was pretty uncomfortable with it. I didn't like those parts and don't feel like they are necessary to the rest of the book. When I read it again, I probably will skip them.

All in all, though, this is a book that is definitely worth reading and I highly recommend!!!!

This is a very promising book with wide utility and relevance. It will reach a vast number of readers and is increasingly relevant in these days.

Such a beautiful book to read when your phone dies and you need some life-giving words from a single fellow.

A Great book to read for those who are dealing with the single and dating scene. However it wasn't really the best.

Finally a book for singles, written by an actual single person!

As a pretty much chronically single person, reading this was such a breath of fresh air. I laughed and cried along with Ryan, because he gets it, possibly even more because he's a pastor. It was so nice to read a book about being single, and just relating to the unique situations that others don't understand, as well as just openly saying maybe you'll be single forever and not beating around the bush on that one.

Honestly, reading this book was so affirming. It was great to have someone acknowledge that things are different for singles, we don't have the same support systems or pushers in our lives, and things can feel stagnant at times. As a fellow introvert, I probably related to this book more than some.

But while the author acknowledges all of these things, he points to God and how our martial status doesn't stop us from living a life devoted to honoring God whatever it holds. This book doesn't tell you how to get in a relationship, and that's why I loved it. Highly recommend!


I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

HALLELUJAH. Someone dared to write about us as well. I usually say WHEN YOU ARE ALONE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE WITH. There are too many of us alone today, but there are even more who are ALONE NEXT TO SOMEONE AND THAT IS THE WORST DARE. A priest knows who he lives for and with God you are never alone. But there is also the absence of the person of the partner with whom they should share their life, heart and bed. It would be inappropriate to ask a question with KIM, but observing the environment in which I live, I have to.
That's why every loneliness is not loneliness, not every couple is a partnership. I believe that it is better to be alone and happy, than to be unhappy with a long one.
The priest has listened to too many people both alone and with partners in the confessional - that's why he is competent to write a work like this.

"Don't be afraid of loneliness
don't be afraid to plant your heart in the naked
where love never rested its palms
and smiles drenched the ground."

I hope every single adult should take the time to read this book—especially those who question their status and purpose in life every day. I have read books on singleness before and the main difference that this book has is that it acknowledges our status based on the past, present, and future POVs. This makes it more relatable and easier to swallow. Not to mention all the LOL moments I had with this book, too. Fun and lighthearted but also packs an impact on how we all should view our single blessedness.

I really enjoyed this book, I appreciated the practical applications, the reassurance that I am not the only one feeling this way.

It is hard, when you live in a society that judges your every move, a society that would have you believe that you can’t be happy unless you are partnered, to be content with your singleness. This book helps you to learn how to drown out those voices so that you can listen to the only one who matters, God.

This book shows you ways in which you can find contentment in being alone, how you can be happy in your own skin and break free from society’s misconceptions about your worth.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book in return for my honest review.

This review will also be posted to my Instagram account @kathleenryderauthor