Oh wow! One of my books of the year. A read I loved from the start and didn’t want it to end.
Ted has just split up from his husband Giles, much to Ted’s surprise. He found pictures of Giles with another man on his phone in more than friendly positions. Ted has been with Giles for a long time and it was his first proper relationship. He works at his parents company and shop- Ainsworth’s ice cream, which he has never dared to tell them he doesn't love as much as them and he doesn't even like ice cream. Slowly Ted realises his life isn't what he thought it would be and splitting from Giles just might encourage him to follow his dream of becoming a drag queen. Egged on by his best friend Denise he tries out heels and more. On the way he discovers more about himself than he ever thought possible. Who is the real Ted and is his dream just that?

Oh be still my beating heart. I loved Ted so much I wanted to give him a hug. This is a read about far more than a story, it's about life and being true to yourself not living the life others may choose for you. About not feeling guilty and being grateful to others for things that should be taken for granted. Something some of us sadly don’t realise until much later in life. There’s nothing wrong with dreams and whilst not all of them may be completely achievable the fun on the journey can be immeasurable. Thank you Matt, you’ve reaffirmed a few things for me, things we all should know but often forget in the busy-ness of day to day life. More than a book, this is a life affirming read for everyone. Be who you are, One life live it.


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I listened to The Secret Life Of Albert Entwistle back in 2022 and it ended up being one of my favorite stories of the year, so to say that I've been highly anticipating Becoming Ted is an understatement. I loved the sound of the premise with Ted rediscovering who he really is after his husband of twenty years leaves him... And I've been looking forward to dive in and properly meet Ted. I'm not sure if I had simply set my expectations a bit too high; while I did enjoy this newest story, there were also a couple niggles that prevented me from handing out the full five stars.

I still love the premise of the story, and I could truly appreciate how it focuses on different aspects of the queer community. This story doesn't only shows us what it is like being a gay couple in the present, but there is also focus on the struggles of being gay in the 1950s and growing up in a Catholic Poland where people don't accept gays. It's also a story about drag and everything it entails including prejudices and struggles... And there is focus on the fear/hesitance to come out and being afraid to show the world who you really are.

Becoming Ted uses a multiple POV structure, although we mainly stick with Ted and the Polish immigrant Oskar. There are many flashbacks to the past to be found along the way, and I do confess that the jumps to the past sometimes caught me off guard as they always happened mid-chapter. That said, they were always relevant and helped explain certain thoughts and why the characters are the way that they are. The writing itself was engaging with quite a lot of slang and a humor that could be on the sarcastic and harsh side at times. I personally didn't have an issue with it though!

As for the characters... Oh boy, I had mixed feelings. Don't get me wrong, I do love Ted and Oskar, but especially Ted also frustrated the heck out of me. The fact that he has been pushing his true self to the background his whole life and lets people walk all over him and his dreams is SO incredibly frustrating, and especially when he keeps letting it happen even after he supposedly started to put himself first for a change. Also, how he kept pining after his husband Giles even after he found out he had been cheating on him for all those months?! With Giles even flaunting his new love on social media for all to see?! I almost felt secondhand embarrassment for him... Then again, he basically only had experiences with toxic relationships in his life, so I guess he probably didn't know better.

I also wasn't a fan of just how much cheating was going on in general, and there were also too many different subplots going on that distracted from Ted's self-discovery journey. I could have done without the whole mystery letters and the family drama involving Ted's father for example... And likewise for Giles to pop up again near the end. There was a bit too much drama going on in general, and as a result Becoming Ted wasn't nearly as uplifting as I thought it would be. Sure, it ended on a high note, but there was a lot more negativity to be found than expected.

That said, I did still enjoy Becoming Ted despite those niggles, and I can still recommend this story if you don't mind a lot of drama, focus on toxic relationships, gaslighting and cheating. The snappy drag humor does help balancing things out a little!

DNF @24%

I really enjoyed Cain's previous book, but I think I couldn't really connect with this book's main character Ted. The inciting incident that led to Ted's divorce felt so... rushed? I also think Ted was kind of annoying, and I wish there was more explanation of why he wants to be a drag queen. I'm sure there's an explanation later, but I would have liked it earlier to understand his decision.

Thanks for the opportunity to read this one.

Unfortunately Matt Cain’s writing style isn’t for me. I’d wanted to give him another go and the premise sounded good but I just don’t like the writing style at all. I find it very clunky and more tell rather than show.

It's lovely story about life, being alive and finding what one wants. Heartwarming and life affirming but also thought provoking, a great cast of characters and an excellent storytelling.
Highly recommended as it's a read that will make you think and smile
Many thanks to the publisher for this arc, all opinions are mine

Multiple references to RuPaul’s Drag Race, a grody yet loveable old dog, finding your strength in your 40s, ice cream, AND love?!?! Uh, yes please!

Ted is in his early 40s and blissfully married to his husband, Giles. When it’s revealed that Giles has been having an affair and is leaving Ted is devastated. Giles was all the sparkle and excitement and Ted was just lucky and boring. After weeks of grieving Ted is slowly awakened to goals and feelings he suppressed for years. Giles wasn’t very interested in Ted being flashy or standing out, so Ted always dulled his shine and stayed in the corner. Except now Ted has no reason to avoid his ultimate dream - becoming a drag queen. Worried what people will think, particularly his parents who want him to take over their ice cream business, Ted is bolstered by his bestie Denise and the thrill of a new love interest. Could he really perform drag in front of an audience! Could he really be more than anyone ever expected?

Becoming Ted was such a pleasure to read. This felt like a grown up coming of age story. Ted repressed what he wanted for so many years to make the people he loves happy and comfortable. That is such a relatable sentiment for many and seeing how Ted handled that is inspiring and lovely. My only complaint is I do think it’s a bit long and could have been condensed a bit and there is a story line with Ted’s dad that felt a little unnecessary. But as a whole this is so enjoyable. 4 stars! Thank you @netgalley for the ARC.

This wasn't the book for me, I think that's the best way to start this review. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think this book is aiming for a wide audience.

Ted's going through a rough patch after his husband asks for a divorce, leaving him feeling like he's always been in someone else's shadow – not just with his husband but even in his own family. He's let his sister shine while he's been stuck running the family's ice cream shop, even though he's not even a fan of ice cream. But now, things are changing, and he's waking up to it.

Looking back, this should've been a book with a universal feel. It's about reflecting on life and realizing you haven't followed your own path to happiness, but also seeing that it's not too late to change course. It's got some great messages like that.

As much as I wanted to like it, I couldn't quite get into the story. And it's not because of the characters. Ted's situation is supposed to hit close to home for a lot of folks, and he's a decent guy too. But for me, it was more about the book's style.

This was my first time reading Matt Cain, so I don't know how his books usually are. I do see he makes an effort at not repeating words, but then he seems to have a table with expressions the characters like using and will repeat them every opportunity he has. For Ted, everything was "ace". Another thing that bothered me were the flashbacks. I wonder if someone told him he needed to show more than tell and then he came up with some memories for Ted to revisit and see how wronged he's been by everyone around him. That could have worked, but those memories seemed too obvious. Why wouldn't he realize it sooner with so much happening? Regardless of how slow he could be, especially with how mean his husband was to him, those flashbacks felt lazy. Too convenient to the plot that you'd have a happening in Ted's past tailored to demonstrate every abuse he's ever suffered. And once you see this, you realize a lot of the "shows" in the present timeline are also too obvious; they're clichés. For example, he meets Oskar, who is from Poland and traumatized as he was raised to feel ashamed of being gay. I don't know any Polish people, but the way Oskar is described felt surreal, and all the time the excuse was because he's Polish. His sudden reaction later in the book, again put on Poland's tab, totally not his fault, was also so weird. It felt a tad too scripted, like the writer needed this setup for the big climax.

I do think some will identify with Ted's story. Although his conflicts were supposed to have a universal appeal, as you read you see there is an intended audience there who will be nodding, who will be seeing themselves in his memories. That wasn't me.


Honest review based on an ARC provided by Netgalley. Many thanks to the publisher for this opportunity.

Thank you Kensington Books and Netgalley for this eARC, these opinions are my own. Such a sweet story! Ted is devastated when his love breaks up with him. But then he realizes he’s lived his life for others and decides he wants discover himself. Which includes drag queens and new love. A slow burn with lots of funny moments! It’s romantic, joyful, and full of growth! Highly recommend!

I absolutely loved The Secret Life of Albert Entwhistle. And while I also enjoyed Becoming Ted, I can't say it lived up to the expectations set by Albert Entwhistle.

I feel like this would totally appeal to anyone who loves a good Hallmark romance movie where the protagonist gets dumped by their longtime partner and realizes that it's the best thing that could have happened to them. They finally find themselves, new friends, and new love...all in a cozy seaside town. Oh, and make it fabulously gay.

Don't get me wrong, this would be right up my alley usually. It just didn't feel original or new, probably because I read somewhat similar plots recently too.

This was wonderful. I loved the characters and felt super connected to them, especially Ted. It was so great to see someone in their 40s finally going after what they deserve. I loved the themes of learning how to prioritize your needs and overcoming shame and guilt. I loved the relationship between Ted and Oskar. The third act breakup- which can sometimes be really annoying- was PERFECTLY executed. For the first 80%, this was an EASY 5 star read. I was enjoying it immensely, I was looking forward to reading it every chance I got. I even made a playlist (this was before I saw the author already had a playlist).

There is something that happens around the 80% mark that bothered me greatly (I don't want to give any spoilers).

I am still giving it five stars though, because overall this was one of the most creative and enjoyable books I've read in a while.

A great and heartwarming story! I loved that the protagonist wasn’t in his 20s. We need more stories with gay characters in their 30s/40s. I enjoyed reading about the different topics, while it was still gut-wrenching what happened to Ted in the beginning. I felt with him.

Matt Cain writes gorgeous books, and Becoming Ted is absolutely no exception. Funny, warm and moving - it's a story of growth, of independence, and of acceptance. Matt Cain can always be counted on for heartwarming, thought provoking and touching reads

Matt Cain’s Becoming Ted is sweet and cozy, following titular character Ted as his life is shattered and he can’t afford to not put himself first. Which is tough, because he’s always put others first including the cast of characters he calls his family, his ex and friends, and tender Oskar, a Polish ex-pat who struggled with his coming out fleeing his homeland.

While I enjoyed my time with Ted, it has its issues with its pacing which made it hard for me to ultimately connect to the characters and story. One particular plot line involving letters warning of deceit felt tacked on in an already stuffed book (adding to my earlier pacing issues).

However, Becoming Ted is a story people should read. The themes of self-discovery and acceptance are needed in today’s world more than ever. While some may find it corny, it’s a touching story that I know a majority of folks who stick through the story will enjoy.

needed to hug ted so badly, i really empathised with him as he realised maybe things weren’t so perfect after all & that everyone has flaws we can become too enamoured to see. watching him find his true self as everything fell apart around him was really enjoyable and i loved it :)

Ted is happy with his life until his marriage falls apart and he realizes he spent more time trying to please others than finding what makes him happy. With the help of his good friend, he decides to follow his dream of becoming a drag queen.

“Becoming Ted” by Matt Cain presents a poignant narrative about Ted, a middle-aged gay man, who reexamines his life after his husband unexpectedly leaves him. Despite appearing content with his small-town life and family’s ice cream business, Ted realizes he’s been living to fulfill others’ expectations. As he confronts the accommodations he’s made to please others, Ted embarks on a journey of self-discovery and strives to embrace his authentic self. This book offers hope to anyone who feels it’s never too late to pursue personal fulfillment.

While the main storyline is engaging and thought-provoking, the subplot involving mystery letters to Ted feels disjointed and could have been integrated more seamlessly into the narrative. The revelation behind their meaning could have been presented in a more cohesive manner or perhaps omitted altogether to maintain focus on Ted’s journey.

Overall, “Becoming Ted” is a captivating and uplifting read that resonates with themes of self-acceptance and personal growth. I highly recommend it for those seeking an inspiring and thought-provoking story. Thank you NetGalley, Kensington Books, & Matt Cain for this eARC.

Loved this book about authenticity and being true to yourself. Ted is a lovely character, and all of the side characters are quirky and enjoyable. Highly recommend for anyone feeling out of place or scared or being themselves. Queer representation in this book is beautiful and real.

A lot of messages here about acceptance of yourself and following your dreams. For some reason it just didn't resonate with me the way Albert Entwistle did. The writing wasn't as fluid and I felt like the message was more a hit over the head (those italicized inner dialogues) than a natural flow in the story. Loved the characters, Denise, Oskar and Ted and the story, it just needs some tightening up a bit.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC

I have discovered that you can’t really go wrong with a Matt Cain book really!
In "Becoming Ted" we follow Ted, a 43-year-old gay man who embarks on a journey to fulfil his dream of becoming a drag queen following the breakdown of his marriage.
As with the authors other books, that I have read, Ted goes on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. This is a heartwarming read that goes to show you’re never too old for new beginnings!!

Becoming Ted is the perfect name for this novel as we go on the journey of Ted finding himself and becoming the man he always wanted to be, Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and of course the author Matt Cain for chance to read this novel.
It is well written and characters are endearing across the board. I will look for other books by this author!