Becoming Ted by Matt Cain hit me right in the feels. Ted’s journey from heartache to finding himself through drag and new friendships was raw and real. I loved how the story mixes humor with honest moments about identity and starting over. It’s uplifting without being cheesy—just a genuine, hopeful ride.

Ted has been happily married to Giles, having been together for 20 years, when he announces that he is in love with someone else and leaving. Ted is blindsided and devastated. He wants him back and of course begins to analyze himself and what is wrong with him. His friend, Denise, assures him that he is fine and has restrained his actual exuberant self because Giles wants to be the one that stands out. She encourages him to find what makes him happy and he realizes that he wants to entertain, he wants to be a drag queen. This is Ted's story of finally following his dream, doing what he really wants to do and finding a new love and happy life.

Becoming Ted is a great story. I really enjoyed Ted's journey. He has been working at his parent's flagship ice-cream store, although he hates ice-cream and the business. He feels that he owes it to his parents, but the breakup with Giles shakes him up. I laughed a lot while reading this story. Ted, Denise, Oskar, and Stanley were all great characters and ones that I would love to know. Stanley was an aging gay man who had been front and center during the early days of fighting for gay rights. Now living in an assisted living home, he is alone and once again shunned by most of the residents. He and Ted become friends with Stanley encouraging him to find what he loves and someone to love. He was my favourite character after Ted. This is a story of finding your niche, what makes you happy, and being yourself. I enjoyed Ted's journey and how his friends helped him along the way. Ted's family was accepting of his lifestyle, but he always felt he owed them for that, I loved how his parents and he worked through that at the end. This is a lovely story that I enjoyed. The writing is well done and enjoyable.

This book wasn’t as easy to read as I thought. Not because the subjects in here are too heavy or the writing too complex. Instead, there are a lot of missed opportunities in what I think could be an A+ story.

Firstly, the superficiality of it all, especially the Drag Dace lingo and the main character plot of coming to terms with his queerness. A lot of it felt forced and too based on a Reality TV Show but not exactly the art of drag or the reality of local drag. And that was not the only ‘miss’.

The subplot, with the letters, is a strange way of moving the story forward, even more so when we come to the conclusion and the results are very uncharacteristic of what was provided of the characters traits before the climax. Very often the plots were finished with almost no importance or good written moments, they were just finished and that’s it.

The romance is cute, the romantic interest has an interesting backstory but it all gets resolved in a superficial manner. I feel like the author tried to tackle too many things at once but failed at most of them.

Still, this is a readable book and kept me entertained (when I was not cringing or getting annoyed with the way things were being developed). It offers a cool view of multigenerational queer identities and how we owe so much to the elders just by being our true selves.

Ps: too much use of “did I say that” after the characters said something bold and the multiple POVs with the italic symbolizing the thoughts were always just a repetition of what the narrator had already said/ established.

Absolutely adored Matt Cain's Becoming Ted! What a fun, tender romp. It was a fun experience reading about Ted's secret desire to become a drag queen, and then to see him realize his dream throughout the book. We need more books like this! I am so thankful for Matt Cain and his brilliant story.

Drag queens, coming of age, romance, good banter, a thrilling storyline and loads of ice cream, who wouldn't love that?

I loved the idea of the story but i was TRUDGING through this book. It started off strong then kinda lost it for me

Adored this book so much. The main character, Ted, reading his journey and discovery was so fun and amazing to read.

Oh I adored this! It started out absolutely breaking my heart (poor poor Ted), but by the end it was just such a lovely tale of being true to yourself. I do think Ted's parents really sucked and could've had more of a tearing down from Ted, but that probably wouldn't be realistic to who he is! It's a great tale of becoming who you are no matter what age you are! Plus a sweet romance too!

I loved the author's last book so I was very excited for this one. The author has a way of making you fall in love with the main character. The story is charming and lovable and I would love to give Ted a hug lol

There was so much I really loved about this one, particularly in Cain's world building of St. Luke's. I loved the details of the town and all its inhabitants, and while the story was focused on Ted, the extra little perspectives of Denise and Oskar! The writing style was very comforting and easy to read, and the story by the end was really quite moving, particularly when it came to the gay history (and current gay reality) exposed through Stanley and Oskar.

There were a few tiny cultural things that threw me off a bit, particularly when a character was described as "mixed race" with no other details, all of which I think could be/should be flagged in the editing process. Ted and Oskar's fight also felt a bit sudden, even though I know that's just how these things go sometimes, haha. Overall this was a very warm and lovely read and I was very glad to meet all of these characters.

My second Matt Cain novel, and almost as delightful as the first one, "The Secret Life of Alfred Entwistle." Cannot recommend enough. One thing I really enjoyed is reading about a middle-aged character having to make some huge transitions. For example, even though Ted, the MC, has been openly gay and in a long-term relationship since his early twenties, circumstances force him to eventually "out" himself in several quite new ways. (No spoilers here, y'all!)

I liked Ted cared about his story and his struggles from the very beginning, and this was a very worthy follow up to "The Secret Life of Alfred Entwistle," one of my top favorites last year. I highly recommend both books!

Many thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.

I really enjoyed being in Ted's world. It is not the easiest read by any stretch because much of what the characters had to deal with-homophobia, self-doubt, guilt, betrayal, adultery and the treatment of gay men back in the 50's and 60's as well as in other countries-must be dealt with head on even in a campy sort of rom-com such as this story. Ted hates ice-cream. There, I said it lol. He lives a life that seems to be expected from him from all sides; his parents, his husband, his friends. But when things begin to go sideways, he starts to see what he has missed his whole life--himself! Does he have the courage and the strength to move forward with his own dreams instead of others? The phrase "It takes a village" comes to mind. Campy fun story with some serious discussions.

4,5* Lovely book

I LOVED reading this book. It took me a little bit to get into it, but once I got into the story it was such a pleasant read. Ted's character development was amazing and shows that of a man who's becoming more and more himself, meanwhile realizing his (recently ended) marriage wasn't all that good. I loved the style of writing: through jumps in time, you would experience parts from Ted's youth, adolescence or marriage, explaining why he would react the way he did in some instances. I found this book was very well informed with queer culture, phenomenons and jargon, which was amazing to see. All in all a very nice contemporary romance with a little sprinkle of coming of age.

This book surprised me. I don't often read adult romances, even contemporary romances, because I can occasionally find that I can't relate to the characters due to their age, and while all of the characters in this book too are much older than me, I found that I didn't care, it wasn't a factor I particularly paid attention to.
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Due to the age factor, I found, predictably, that I couldn't relate to the characters, but I cared for their story all the same. I found connection with them, and became quickly invested in their story and what they had to say.
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I enjoyed reading about Ted's journey of self discovery, and his relationships with friends and family. I enjoyed going on that journey with him, and watching him blossom as he began to prioritise his own life and his needs and desires without compromising for someone else, be that his parents, his sister, his friends or his husband.
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I also found myself interested in Oskar's story, and Stanley's too. I was keen to find out about their lives prior to meeting Ted, and the life events that led to them finding themselves in St. Luke's.
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Thank you to NetGalley for sending me an ARC copy of this book.

After reading The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle a few years ago by Matt Cain and loving it, I was excited to pick this one up! I enjoy Cain’s writing style. He really has a talent for writing older queer characters which I think is so important to see. So many of the mainstream queer books feature younger characters so I enjoy reading stories where the protagonists are a little older. We are missing so many of these stories because of the AIDS pandemic taking so many queer elders. We need to see more of these stories and I hope Cain keeps writing them.

I ended up listening to this on audio and the time jumps to when Ted was younger were hard to follow on audio. I needed them to have a little bit of a clearer indication that it was in the past.

I thought Oscar’s story was really interesting, especially with his father. I also think it's such an important representation that we don’t see enough of. I enjoyed seeing Ted’s growth throughout the story. Though he did frustrate me at times. Giles was actually awful and I have no idea how he didn’t realize it sooner.

Overall, this is an enjoyable read! Its definitely worth picking up if you are looking for a queer book with older characters.

When Ted's husband left him he was devastated. Only, after he left, Ted soon began to see just how much his husband had been holding him back. Ted decided it was time for him to pursue his dream of becoming a drag queen.

Oskar knew he was gay from a young age, but his religious upbringing made him question himself. As soon as he was old enough, he left his home in conservative Poland to live life on his own terms. But his guilt followed him.

This story is a journey of discovery. In the beginning, Ted was childlike, deferential and trying to be meet the expectations of everyone around him. Freed from the constraints of his marriage, Ted's real personality begins to break free. Oskar doesn't hide what he is, but he doesn't advertise it either. Then he meets Ted. Together they navigate an exciting, but sometime bumpy, road to finding the person they've each kept hidden, learning to express their true selves.

I had a hard time connecting with Ted. While I understand the author's purpose and what he is trying to get across, I just felt that his character was too exaggerated. It appeared that once he adopted his drag queen persona he never turned it off. I was able to identify much more with Oskar and his struggles to accept himself. His character seemed more complete with more depth. We learn about Ted through flashbacks of his life, but we learn about Oskar from his own thoughts and feelings.

While Ted was good for Oskar, helping him to open up, Oskar was good for Ted, giving him a quiet place where he could just be Ted. I enjoyed the peace of their scenes together.

I appreciate the message the author wished to convey, but there were times I struggled to get through the story. Ted just became too much of a caricature for me and not enough or a real person.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This was my first Matt Cain book and I am certainly a fan now. This new release was an absolute DELIGHT and if you are to read one book during pride month in 2025, I suggest adding this to your to be read. I felt all the feels for the main character's journey to self-discovery and being comfortable with their sense of self - whether that be casual or fab.

My HEART was filled by this book. LGBTQIA+, and our main character Ted proved what an absolute goddess he is during his self discovery process. There is toxic relationship navigation so please be aware in case that is triggering to you. Ted's ex Giles was quite literally just awful and I cannot say anymore about him because it makes me sick to think about how terrible he was to Ted. I definitely highlighted anything Giles said with comments right back at him about how he is just a butt head. On the note of this relationship, there are some mild sexy scenes that are MM.

I was rooting for Ted the entire time, whether this be at a drag show, a vulnerable moment, or feeling like he can't be himself.

I would read this alone for the vibes at the drag show. The culture described down to the drag names, attitudes, everything was so much fun! With that being said -my message for Ted would be JUSTICE FOR GAIL. YOU ALWAYS DESERVED TO SHINE AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.

Recommend grabbing if you want a queer read, love drag shows, love SASS, and long to be fully uninhibited by the demands of society. 4.25 stars!

When I read the synopsis of this my first thought was how cute of a story this was going to be; but just as one shouldn’t judge a book by the cover nor should one judge a book by the synopsis. While the story sounds cute and uplifting it actually rife with negative self thoughts, emotional abuse, manipulation, and confusing writing.
Ted Ainsworth (of the Ainsworth ice cream empire) is doing his best to love his life. He loves his husband (who puts him down at every turn and has Ted questioning who he really is) and he loves his parents (who bully him into taking over the family ice cream business instead of allowing him to pursue his own dreams). He doesn’t, however, love ice cream. When his husband wakes up one day and leaves him, seemingly out of the blue, Ted has no idea what he did wrong or how to move on. Nearly a month later while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with his best friend, Denise, he realizes his true dream has always been to be a Drag Queen and with Denise’s help he puts that into motion.
The thing that really killed this book for me was the writing. I think I could have dealt with the negative thoughts, emotional abuse, and manipulation had the writing not been so confusing. It’s written in the present tense with parts of the past intermingled throughout without any warning that we are essentially visiting a memory. The memories come in no particular time order and it was quite confusing in the beginning. Adding to the confusion are the inner thoughts interspersed throughout the narrative, both in scenes with dialogue and scenes with narratives. It feels so unnatural and while I’m sure Mr. Cain was thinking it would give us better insight into the characters, it just comes off as sloppy.
That being said, I loved Ted’s transformation and how he finally started being true to himself.
Overall, I love what Matt Cain was attempting to do with this book, but it just didn’t work for me. Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Books for an advanced copy of this.

What a delightful book about family, friends, love and self acceptance. I absolutely loved Matt Cain's ability to describe relationships and how they change and develop. The main character of Ted and his family and friends were relatable, complex and interesting. This was really a great book! Thanks #NetGalley #Kensington

Thank you to Kensington and NetGalley for the eGalley to review!

This is a story about love in many different forms--but most importantly self-love--and second chances at romance and following one's dreams. Our main character, Ted, comes to learn not just how to live his life without his long-time ex-husband, but how to come to terms with what he truly wants in life and give himself the self-love that he so desperately needs. He's spent too long putting himself on the sidelines for others, doing things that repress his true self and makes him happy, just so he can keep the peace in his relationships. Thankfully, he's given the support necessary to breaking out of these bad habits and to go after something he's always wanted to do--be a drag queen.

Ted has wanted to be a drag queen ever since he had a positive experience at a drag show at nine years old, but he's been afraid of letting that part of himself out of the closet. Giles, his ex-husband, was not exactly warm to more queer aspects of the queer community and so Ted felt he had to hide that in the decades of their relationship. Now that they're divorced following Giles' affair with another man, Ted has the room to finally be himself and recognize just how unfulfilling that relationship was.

Meanwhile, Oskar--Ted's new love interest--is also a repressed gay man but in a different way; he's from an ultra-conservative Polish Catholic upbringing, making him reluctant to live openly as himself. When he and Ted inevitably come together, they both are learning to love themselves as they fall in love with each other. It's a very sweet, realistic romance, but not without its own hurdles, with legitimate commentary in serious conversations. I do quite love Oskar and his determination to learn a new English word each day (it's cute).

I especially love that this is a story centered on older queer characters, in their mid-lives and definitely having midlife crises. We don't have nearly enough of these stories, largely due to the AIDS pandemic taking so many queer elders and would-be queer elders away from us. Now that many of us are becoming these elders, I'm happy to see that being reflected in the stories we tell. It shows that we can live long and fulfilling lives and that we can get happy endings! There's no doubt this story will help inspire many who need it.