“If man and woman were created in His image, why are women so invisssssssssible?”...... "What if men insisted we needed them so much because they really needed us?"

I knew this book was going to be impactful, but I was not expecting it to knock the wind out of me at times with what Tia had to deal with and survive for so many years. Tia grew up like so many of us in America did, going to church every Sunday, making friends with the kids at church, and basically living two lives when you have your church friends and your school friends, and they typically don't cross each other's paths. However, this changed as she grew older, and learned that she was not going to be able to afford college, and instead was expected to become someones wife, and to tame her own wants and needs for that of her family. This continued to rapidly change when she met her husband who was controlling pretty much from the start, yet she looked past it because it was what she was supposed to do and what she had been being taught to do her entire life. Things continued to escalate, though between her and her husband, and the abuse had many different forms, from physical to sexual, and to verbal and mental abuse. They changed churches multiple times, each one having more and more controlling doctrine that her husband liked and she was just supposed to go along with. So she did, she kept the peace as best as she could, protected there children and hid what was really going on.
"Secrets make you hate yourself, but they proliferate and entangle others, and that’s your life, a series of secrets and lies and ugly truths. Detangling a web is nothing easy, but I was grateful that night for a midwife of a different kind. A friend who didn’t offer platitudes, just a witness. I didn’t have to tell every secret that night—just one."

Finally though, one day this all came to a head, and she had no choice but to leave to protect herself and her children, and certain death that was most likely to come about. Tia thankfully had created a job for herself on the internet through her blog, and seo, and helping others make their own blogs. With this money and the connections she made through it she was able to provide for herself and her children while they attempted to deconstruct from what they had been through in the past ten years. It was not easy and it is one that we see today, she is still working on it, but she is now able to talk about what she went through to try and prevent others from dealing with the same things. Tia has helped sound the alarm on these preachers in the Christian nationalist movement who use God's work for evil and to harm and control others.

"I’d learned a lesson I didn’t understand how to use: waiting for God wasn’t just boring, it was dangerous."

Overall, this is a must-read for anyone wanting to learn more about the world of Christian nationalism and how it draws people in and then holds them hostage to a certain extent. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of explaining this book, and how important a read it is. Throughout this book, we see Tia and her now ex-husband go through several different evangelical and quiverful churches, we see how Christian nationalism was used, and the guilt and high-control environment that was controlling the entire family by church elders. Tia was able to get out and tell her story, and truly help sound the alarm on these churches and elders who use God's word for their own wants and needs.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

(Read a finished copy that was sent to me by the publisher)

Amazing book. So fascinating to hear the real life story of Tia. Hard to imagine her living in such conditions in recent times. Very important reading as we are existing in a society that is starting to embrace more of these types of conservative values

Due to medical reasons, I was unable to fully read this book but I throughly enjoyed what I did read, however I cannot write a proper review due to this. I apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your understanding.

It's hard to rate a book like this because it's so personal. I was interested in reading this book because in college I spent a lot of time in spaces with similar teaching to Levings. I thank the Lord every day that I moved out of that space and didn't marry a man following the church's "requirements". While its hard to separate this book from my own personal experiences, I know that this book was powerful and shed a light on spiritual abuse that a lot of women are still facing.

Wow wow wow. Very heavy read and I’m so impressed by the authors processing and healing that allowed her to tell her story. Religious trauma is so common. This was the most extreme but it can allow for healing and processing of all levels.

This was absolutely horrifying and fascinating. I first heard of Tia Levings on the Shiny Happy People documentary and then the podcast Leaving Eden. Treading her book was absolutely fascinating. My heart breaks for young Tia and everything she went through. She’s such an amazing woman. I hope this book being out in the world helps other women in situations similar to hers.

A Well-Trained Wife was hard to read — I admire Tia Levings making the brave decision to escape Christian patriarchy, especially when she raised in the same community, with delusional beliefs about her self-worth and expectations for a life of obedience.

Between her upbringing and her abusive husband, Tia was in terrible situations and it was difficult to hear about all she endured. I admire Tia’s willingness to share her story and break the cycle for her kids. I hope A Well-Trained Wife inspires any women who have lost their freedom or their voice to fight back to reclaim it.

A Well-Trained Wife is a gripping and unsettling read that had me hooked from the very first page. The author masterfully builds tension, weaving a story that is both thought-provoking and impossible to put down. With sharp writing and a narrative that lingers long after the last page, this is a book that absolutely delivers.

This is a phenomenally powerful memoir or a woman raised in a religious cult who is forced to raise a family with a man who abuses her. It’s full of very useful information for anyone in a similar situation.

A Well-Trained Wife is a harrowing memoir about a woman whose religious upbringing conditioned her to believe that marriage was the only path for her and made her a prime candidate for ending up in an abusive one. It details her childhood in an influential megachurch, her early adulthood in the IBLP and other environments with increasingly extreme views, and how she finally got out.

I thought I had heard it all where the modern American church is concerned, but some of the revelations shocked me. I was also surprised and impressed by Levings' candor in revealing them. Where I felt the writing lacked (at the sentence, voice, and metaphor levels, it left much to be desired), she made up for it and kept me interested with honest, moving descriptions of her experiences and thoughts at the time.

Abuse narratives like this one are always brutal to read, and she would've needed another 100 pages to address all the people who needed to be held accountable besides her husband. I have seen a small subset of reviewers trying to separate their rigid religious beliefs from the outcomes Levings experienced and having to employ the "no true Scotsman" fallacy to do so. It's true that most Christians don't believe or behave in exactly this way. Still, this memoir reminded me that it's not a far leap from theological positions that say women must be submissive and subservient to men to abusive and oppressive situations like the author's.

Her story presents the patriarchy, which is often still upheld in some branches of Christianity today, as the clear problem. It's what allowed and emboldened men in authority to do the types of things described in her memoir: requiring your wife to respond to you with "yes, my lord," spanking your wife to keep her in line ("Christian domestic discipline"), exerting control over what your wife can read or write about, etc.

I include that breakdown because, as a Christian myself, I don't want anyone going into this memoir writing it off too quickly as an extreme case without recognizing how destructive certain theologies can be and how much closer their own beliefs may be to patriarchal fundamentalism than they realize. After all, her husband was taking instruction from sects (like ATI, IBLP, and Calvinism) and people with names that I recognized. Her husband clung to a distorted version of Christianity with no regard to the teachings of Jesus to justify his abuse and control, but it's a version that too many are still too cozy with for me.

This is a horrifying, enraging, and ultimately inspiring story that fortunately ends with escape. Levings saved herself and her children from a life of isolation, subjugation, and danger, and I'm glad she chose to share what led her there.

*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.

I could not stop reading this book.
The author shares her story about the journey she follows from a young age into the world of religion and how that ultimately contributes to how she behaves, marries, and lives.
Because adolescence is a confusing time, and because of some ignorance and of course the desire to fit in with her peers, she embraces religious mantra as if it is quite literally gospel.
Unfortunately this leads her into a marriage with a man that is wholly unviable. But with grit and determination, she gets thru the abuse and the moves and the rapes and the beatings. All the while she believes this is a mission from god. If she is just good enough or works hard enough, everything will be okay.
Finally a time comes that she needs to make a change. But this is not the end of her journey. There is a lot of unresolved issues to deal with.
This is sad, unfortunately also true in some parts of our society, and if the powers that be get their way…could be the future of our human hood..
A very valuable book for this time.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me this ARC

I got into it very quickly! It's scary to see how easily indoctrinated someone can be through fundamentalist religious groups and how spousal abuse and rape can become a norm when women are taught to obey their husbands and not given any outlet for support. This book is well written and very intense. The author paints a very clear picture of how she got into this situation, and your desire to see her escape grows as her situation deteriorates. I can see why it was nominated for best memoir! Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this excellent book!

This book was the most impactful book that I read in 23024. I've never known anyone in a cult or considered that there are people walking among us who are in insular communities like the one Tia was in. I read this through in one sitting. I needed a drink after. Tia tells her story in a way that makes you know that she is telling the absolute truth and as a reader, I rooted for her the entire time. I respect her bravery in telling even the horrible bits about the life with her husband as the absolute master of the home. I thought that it was very well done.

A harrowing but redemptive memoir on Levings growing up in a fundamentalist church, filled with rules and abuse. It was a tough story to read and am thankful for a good ending.

“A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy” by Tia Levings is a powerful and heart-wrenching memoir that takes readers deep into the life of a woman trapped in the oppressive world of Christian patriarchy. Levings recounts her early years as a wife in the Quiverfull movement, where women are expected to be silent, submissive, and fully devoted to their roles as homemakers and mothers. The seemingly wholesome exterior of her life conceals a grim reality of isolation, strict discipline, and emotional abuse.

Levings beautifully and courageously details her emotional and physical struggles within this deeply restrictive environment, showing the profound impact of a system that devalues women’s voices and autonomy. As her story unfolds, she begins to question her role and, more importantly, the future she is shaping for her children. Faced with an impossible choice, Levings ultimately decides to break free, risking everything to protect her family.

This memoir is not just a personal journey; it’s a larger commentary on the ways extreme belief systems can infiltrate marriage and family life, often with devastating consequences. Levings’ honesty, vulnerability, and strength in telling her story make A Well-Trained Wife both a deeply emotional and enlightening read. Her resilience is inspiring, and her story will resonate with anyone who has fought for personal freedom and autonomy in the face of societal or familial pressure.

An essential read for those interested in understanding the darker side of patriarchal religious systems and the courage it takes to challenge them.

An important look at the tradwife phenomenon through the lens of a woman who lived it. Tia's story is real, and raw and a warning against the rising patriarchal trends.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This memoir was impressive. The themes were relatable to much of American culture. It was a pretty heavy read emotion wise so be warned, although I do recommend. I found this shocking. I think it is important to note their are very triggering events such as death of animals, domestic and child abuse. This is a beautifully portrayed memoir of how religious identification can be used in a negative way, and not just positive. This book made me think a lot about what other women endure in their religious community that is NOT supportive of both partners, but rather just 'getting in line' for the male of the family.

This book, given everything, was emotionally a lot to read. It was gripping, infuriating, and so so wonderufl. It's... absolutely wild that this is where we are and seeminly where we're going. What... what a read. Everyone should read it.

- A WELL-TRAINED WIFE might be the most harrowing book I’ve ever read, period. Even knowing that Levings gets through it to write this book, I was clutching the book and mentally screaming the whole time.
- For most of the book, Levings is simply relaying events without much extra commentary. Even so, one can see exactly how this theology and worldview has infiltrated mainstream life in large and small ways.
- The last section, where Levings is out and in therapy, remarried, etc., feels a bit rushed and that’s where she crams in the lessons as well. It reads like it may have benefited from a few more years of distance and healing, but I do understand her sense of urgency in telling her story.

Tia Levings’ memoir A Well-Trained Wife is gripping, enraging, and ultimately triumphant and I couldn’t put it down. So happy to see it’s flying off the shelves and getting all the kudos it deserves. It reflects the lived impact of Christian extremism on women and children. Levings was interviewed in the Netflix documentary Shiny, Happy People about Christian cults and she's been a calm, steady voice in helping people understand what's happening with Christian nationalism in our country and the danger it poses.