Easy book to get into. Fun characters. A college reunion. Drama! I loved this new title from Dawson. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you to Dutton and NetGalley for the honor of reading this book in exchange for an honest review.

Charlotte hates her job. Instead of being a graphic designer, she's an assistant to a demanding tech journalist you keeps dangling a transfer to the art department over her head. When he is chosen to be the commencement speaker at her alma mater, Charlotte gets roped into going ahead of him and attending her five year reunion. Charlotte made a great group of fellow queer and absent parent having friends in her time at college. She has been terrible at keeping in touch with them because of her demanding and disappointing job. One in particular is Reece, the guy she had a fling with after leaving her abusive ex. Charlotte is forced to re-examine her life and her choices when she's her friends again and decide where she wants to go from here.

This book was such a breath of fresh air. It watered my crops and cleared my acne. It gave me hope when I had none. I'm being a bit dramatic but that is how much I loved this book. I adored seeing a book with so many queer characters. I saw myself in the characters of this book in a way I never have in a book before. Although I thankfully did not have homophobic parents like Charlotte does, I really felt like I understood her.

This book felt very millennial, which I appreciated. The characters' references were my references and the burnout that they experienced is all too common in my generation. I could feel the disappointment in not achieving your dreams yet when everyone around you seems to be doing well. I felt like this book was very much written for me. It takes place in 2018, which takes a second to adjust to, but makes sense for where the characters are in their lives based on their references.

This book handled a lot of difficult topics. These included homophobia, grief, alcoholism, abusive relationships, anxiety/panic disorder, sexual harassment. These were handled so impressively. I felt the character’s panic without ever feeling unsafe. I applaud the author for not shying away from these topics while also giving the book lighter moments. It was an emotional book but I would not call it particularly dark.

I appreciated that the characters communicated with each other, at least eventually. When a character's feelings were hurt, they communicated that so that the other could apologize. Characters were clear in their intentions and interacted like actual people. This does not always happen in books.

I also enjoyed the character of Reece, who felt like a normal, decent guy. There could have been some melodramatic moments in the story if he reacted the wrong way, but he listened and was a rational person.

I don't want to say too much about this book, because I think that it should be read. Overall I’m just so glad that this book exists.

this one is a solid 3.5 star read for me

i got this arc from netgalley and i was very excited to give this a try. as a debut novel i think it has a lot of potential.

the characters and the plot, from dealing with the effects of coming out and handling people’s response to that, to finding yourself and love again after an abusive relationship, it was a good one to get into and it was such a lovely time.

my only issues come from the book being third pov. and while i know that’s a me issue and not a book issue, i do feel like with third pov it’s easy to get overwhelmed with too many details of backgrounds and characters and situations that aren’t exactly necessary.

i think ella dawson has a solid path set for her and i can’t wait to see what else she writes in the future!

thank you to netgalley for this arc! :)

Where was this book like 5 years ago???! Okay, so maybe in the author’s head at that time, but I’m so glad it’s out now! Charlotte was my absolute favorite character I’ve read in a very long time! I absolutely devoured this book and the wit, the cute romance, the growing up, just everything was perfect! I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this book, but I found such a loving, queer, beautiful book with found family and a second chance! So good!

I related to Charlotte so much it hurt!!
I loved this book so much that it’s hard to put into words what I loved about it.

To start the queer representation is fantastic. Being a bi women myself I never thought I would find a book that I related with so much.
An easy 5⭐️s.

Though a bit slow to start, I ended up really enjoying this! I’ve followed Ella around the interwebs for a while now and was so excited to hear she was publishing a novel. Her voice really comes through in this as I know she’s pulled a lot of her own real life experiences for Charlotte. Charlotte’s emotional growth throughout the book is wonderful to see and I loved the cast of characters in this book. Excited to see what she comes up with next!

But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson 💘

A strong debut from Ella!! I will start off with the disclaimer that I don’t think I was the target audience for this book. I think someone about 5 years older than me would appreciate the humor and cultural references way more. This is a fun little romance book about a college reunion, found family, and general millennial corporate/career dread.

what I liked:
-how this book portrayed the beauty of found family
-very easy breezy read, pretty much finished in one sitting
-lovable characters
-LGBTQIA rep

what I didn’t love:
-it felt a little too millennial-core, for my personal taste (this is not necessarily a bad thing it’s just hard for me to relate to)
-the topics of addiction, strained family relationships, mental health, and toxic relationships could have been incorporated into the story more seamlessly whereas they felt almost a little forced the way they were introduced in the story. I did think they contributed to the story and are important conversations to have but I would have liked more depth.
-some aspects to the plot and the central romance of the story seemed a bit far-fetched (but not out of realm for the romance genre and it’s all in good fun)

All in all I think this book just had a little too much filler for me and because I wasn’t the intended audience, it wasn’t the perfect fit. I would love to try another Ella Dawson book in the future because I do think she writes really beautiful, vulnerable characters and while this might have been a middle-of-the-road book for me personally, I could definitely see this being a hit for the right audience 💓

Thank you to @netgalley and @duttonbooks for the ARC of this book that is set to release on June 4th, 2024!!

Thank you to Net Galley & Dutton Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
2.5/5 Stars

This book was exactly what I needed as a 20 something approaching my quarter-life crisis. I felt like Ella Dawson was inside my head and writing about the things that I struggle with on the daily. I really don't think this should be categorized as romance though, it is way more women's fiction than anything. It was a great read but some part felt a little rushed to me. Overall I enjoyed the book and am looking forward to more releases by Ella Dawson.

*2.5

Thank you to Netgalley, Dutton and Penguin Random House for sending me a free in exchange for an honest review!

But How Are You, Really stars our FMC Charlotte who is invited to her college reunion five years after graduating from there. Throughout the book Charlotte goes through a self-discovery journey in which she tries to find her voice under all her overwhelming feelings including her burnout.

This was a pretty decent book, I wasn't able to enjoy the scene of the book given that most of it seemed filler but it wasn't a bad book in general, I also believe that one of the reasons I wasn't able to click with this book was because of the genre it was categorized in.

When I saw this on Netgalley I saw it was being promoted as a romance but I wouldn't really categorize it as such given that the romance is not the MAIN theme of the book.

I also saw someone promote this book as a hockey romance but that's not the case either given that the love interest doesn't play hockey in the current timeline that the novel takes place in. If you would give this book a romance trope it would be more of the "second chance" trope.

Another thing that caught my eye on goodreads rather than any other platform was that the book was tagged as "Lesbian" the FMC is NOT a Lesbian she is a Bisexual so I'm not sure why it's tagged as Lesbian...

Honestly, I don't think the book is being promoted in the right way... It's not a romance given that the romance is NOT the main plot of this book, it's being promoted as a hockey romance by some reviewers which isn't the case as well, and then we have the fact that it's being tagged as lesbian when that is not the case either.

This book is the self-journey of a Bisexual woman trying to find her voice and better her own life. The romance happens to be a subplot of it and even then the romance isn't DEEP. This book would be much better promoted in the Contemporary Fiction genre and LGBTQ+ fiction rather than the romance genre.

Overall, this book wasn't bad but it also wasn't great. I believe it could have potential if it was being marketed and promoted correctly.

I enjoyed this one! Charlotte was incredibly relatable to me, to a point where it was almost uncomfortable and I felt like I was looking into a mirror where my reflection was pointing a finger at me. 😅 I was pleasantly surprised at the romantic subplot and found myself really rooting for them.

I do think it got pretty rushed in the end. The last 20 pages were a little too convenient for my taste, and it was a little disappointing to see a few hundred pages of conflict and emotional distress wrapped up (kinda) in a single tweet.

This one is really for the queer depressed twenty somethings having a quarter life crisis and I’m glad I read it!

Thank you Dutton Books and NetGalley for this ARC!

This was so good!! Idk if it’s a new trend or just happens to be a theme in the books I’ve picked up lately, but it’s interesting reading so many stories about people dealing with the way their families react to them being queer in disappointing (and worse) ways. It’s sadly realistic but I enjoy seeing such a strong focus on found family.

Charlotte’s journey was rough to read, cw for emotional abuse, depression, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, etc., but seeing her finally break free from that and realize her worth and that she has people who love her and care about her was so satisfying. And Charlotte and Reese’s relationship was great. The way they’re so comfortable around each other, in contrast to the stress that was her and her ex, the way he helps her lighten up, that he’s able to open up to him about her past and her trauma, the laughing during sex! <3

Oh and I love the cover! Thank you to Dutton Books and NetGalley for the digital copy in exchange for a honest review..

The description alone was like a gut punch. I'm sorry was this a book about me? Ella Dawson I know you're hiding in my closet, you can come out now.

Funny business aside, this book was really good and touched me in ways I wasn't ready for. The book was fun to read and made me look a little deeper into my own self. I think this is something a lot of people, especially people within my generation, should take a look at. We're all tired, but that doesn't mean to give up. Take a breather and carry on.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher!

this isn’t necessarily the brand of contemporary fiction i’d normally gravitate towards, but the description caught my attention and i generally enjoyed it! there’s a lot of millennial lingo and social media references that made me internally cringe, but aside from that you have a second chance romance and queer found family story with a well rounded supporting cast.

I thought it was romance but I feel like it delves into so many things where it becomes so busy. I thought that the writing was okay, I just went into reading this book with a different mindset and felt disappointed by it.

A nostalgic and relatable debut! This fresh take on chosen family and defining worth is deftly articulated without being cheesy or overdone.

Charlotte Thorne is at a breaking point. She has a toxic boss at a dead end job, suppressed trauma of an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, and friendships that are drifting apart. As she travels to her five year college reunion, her past comes flooding back. It’s a story that any confused twenty-something can resonate with- the feelings of inadequacy seeing your peers make career moves, the filtered lens of social media, and the regret of missed opportunities. But it’s also a journey of growth: mending friendships, rekindling romance, and recognizing personal worth. The supporting cast of characters help Charlotte navigate her feelings- whether it be through her best friend Jackie’s creative color wheel (would love a visual of this!), or her wholesome former beau Reece’s deserved validation. It’s a slow build with an ending that will leave you craving more.

This was a fun (and slightly spicy!) read and provided me with some new insight into the LGTBQIA+ world.
Thank you to NetGalley & Penguin Dutton Group for the eARC.

3.5 Stars

Charlotte Thorne, a personal assistant struggling to stay afloat in NYC, is back at her alma mater for her 5 year reunion weekend which doubles as a work trip after her boss is invited as the commencement speaker. No family support system leads to a true survivor mentality for Charlotte, accepting a toxic, borderline abusive workplace for the sake of financial security. While hesitant to go to the reunion at all, she quickly reconnects with her chosen family and support system.

I enjoyed the concept of this book, who doesn't want a chance to live a college weekend with your best friends one more time? I also loooved the rich and (literally) colorful descriptions of emotions and feelings throughout the book. It gave a sort of synesthetic thread throughout the book and really brought it to life for me!

I found the first 1/3 of the book to be very slow without much substance. At a certain point, the deep dives into Charlotte's anxious states were too much and I think lost the power it originally had in the story.

I really enjoyed the importance of chosen family and how it can be just as strong of a support system as blood family. But for what seems like an overly open and honest group who make space for each other's feelings and discussion of sexuality, family/relationship dynamics, there is a lot of masking and secret-keeping about jobs and menial things, which felt disconnected from the overall theme.

Overall a good read with queer representation and a satisfying ending.

Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Group Dutton for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

It took me a while to get into this but I still had a great time reading it! Charlotte and Reece's tension and chemistry was very fun to read about and I really appreciated the journey through Charlotte's trauma. It had a good message and a nice ending!

Charlotte is dealing with a lot of trauma from her past when she goes to her reunion. What first caught my interest in this book was that the main character was a "burned-out bisexual". I want to preface that when it comes to dating/intimacy, most of the focus is on her male relationships. It's a second-chance love story in the end, but one of struggling with old patterns, fun and honest moments with friends and found-family, breaking free from the past and overcoming the internal lies you tell yourself.

In general, the book took me a bit to get into. I wouldn't say I felt a ton of sexual chemistry between Charlotte and Reece, but definitely a sweetness and safety to be found in their relationship that is endearing and vulnerable. And although I'm happy with how the story worked out, I wish there was an epilogue to talk about what happens after the reunion.

I was blown away by But How Are You, Really. Elle Dawson has written such a beautiful book on facing your trauma, burnout, queer joy, that feeling of being 27 and unsure of where you are in the world, and a second-chance romance. I devoured this book, crying and smiling the whole way through.

The first few chapters took me minute to get into—I was hesitant if I would like Charlotte's voice and pessimism, but I quickly became engrossed in the actual plot. Dawson was able to capture the existential dread that so many younger adults feel and balance that heaviness with the charming love interest, Reese and fun of returning back to your university. The banter between Charlotte's friends and Reese was clever and realistic.

Nostalgia was on every page and I got wrapped in it as well. I was especially taken by the emphasis on queer joy and love – there's a specific scene in the later half of the book that made me immediately burst into tears; just the simplicity and way Dawson handled it...I was a wreck.

I do feel like this won't be a novel for everyone; I can see people not Getting it or not connecting with Charlotte's inner dialogue but the conflicts and struggles felt so real and fleshed out to me. I finished the novel in one day and have been thinking about it since.

thank you to net galley and dutton books for this arc!

i love love loved getting to be a part of this little weekend getaway full of queer characters reliving their youth! it felt so comforting and familiar, like hanging out with my own friends. i adored reece and charlotte and their chemistry, even if it seemed to escalate at a pretty unrealistic rate.

i loved the message behind the book and the intention behind it, i think it’s an important message for young people and especially young queer people.

overall it was an enjoyable read, i had a great time reading it, but it didn’t suck me in and give me the feeling of not being able to put it down.