This story follows the story of Charlotte, who is struggling in her life but hopes to hide it as she attends her college reunion. Of course it all comes crashing down as she has to face trauma from her college years that she hasn’t dealt with yet. Luckily she has good friends to help her through it, and maybe she can even rekindle an old romance?

I really liked how the anxiety and trauma were handled in this book, it was very authentic. I also liked that the MC made mistakes and did shitty things sometimes, because we all do that, especially when we are struggling.

Lastly, I liked that the MC was bisexual and had an ex-girlfriend that we meet, and at the same time the romance in this book is with the opposite gender, and that’s okay— it doesn’t make her any less bi.

The romance in this book was great, the friendships were so realistic and fun, and the story felt genuine.

Charlotte is going back to college for her five year reunion. If it weren’t for her job, she probably would’ve skipped it so as not to run into her toxic ex. But, her boss is giving the commencement speech, so she needs to be there, and there are friends that she does want to see from her mostly queer college support group. Through reliving her college days, she comes to realizations about her self-worth, her found family, and a man who she let go in the last who still cares for her deeply. Charlotte is a flawed character, and some of her internal monologue was whiny and very self-absorbed. However, she felt real; people often have self-doubt especially people who have Charlotte’s mental health background. The side characters made this story really come to life though, and more scenes from them would have made the book even better.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this title from NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The set up: Charlotte, a millennial struggling with feelings of failure, reluctantly attends her five-year college reunion. Surrounded by seemingly successful peers, she revisits her past and begins to reshape her perspective on her future with the support of those around her.

My Thoughts: This was an okay read with a strong concept that fell a bit short in execution. The story was heavier than expected, but Charlotte’s character growth was excellent. Though I found her initial self-pity frustrating, by the end, I was proud of her transformation. The supporting characters were beautifully written, and their heartwarming friendships added depth.

I wish the story had included multiple POVs for a more engaging experience, as the writing occasionally felt repetitive and slow. That said, the characters’ open communication was refreshing—no miscommunication trope here!

I’d recommend this to the right audience and look forward to exploring more from this author in the future.

I liked this book! I thought Ella got to the heart of the difficulty of returning to a place you loved and holds so much nostalgia for you. Really appreciated her observations and witty writing.

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publishing Company for this Advanced Readers Copy of But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson!

But How Are You Really by Ella Dawson is a heartfelt read that gives a refreshing perspective on vulnerability and emotional honesty. Dawson's voice shines through as she tackles the complexities of mental health, relationships, and self-discovery. Her storytelling feels like a conversation with a close friend; relatable, and deeply compassionate. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking to connect more deeply with themselves and the people around them. Highly recommended for those who value reflection and personal growth.

This was a solid debut really diving deep into what late 20's were like for milenials just trying to figure it out. I really resonated with Charlotte not having it together and feeling stuck. My only issues were at times her boss seemed a little too cartoonish of a villain and the middle felt a bit slow.

Thank you Penguin and Dutton for this advanced copy, all opinions are my own.

A solid 3-star read, this book offers a quick dive into millennial life lessons with Buzzfeed vibes, modern lingo, a bisexual heroine, and themes of burnout, chosen family, and second-chance romance.

The story follows Charlotte, a burned-out millennial dreading her five-year college reunion. As she reconnects with old friends and revisits her past, she grows from a self-pitying persona to someone readers can root for. While the book starts off quite slow and takes time to get into, the strong character development, heartwarming friendships, and lack of miscommunication tropes make it worthwhile. However, the writing felt repetitive at times, and multiple POVs could have enhanced the emotional connection to the story.

Recommended for readers who enjoy millennial-driven, character-focused narratives with heartfelt relationships.

Maybe because I just finished Romy and Michelle's high school reunion as a rewatch, this one seemed just like it. I also couldn't connect that it was just her 5 year reunion. Girl you got time!

I wanted this to be funny but to me it just wasnt. Maybe I'm too different from the character, maybe it just wasn't written for me, maybe I wasn't in the right space for it. I don't know but for me it was just meh.

Ella Dawson's But How Are You, Really is a spicy exploration of millennial life that hits all the right notes. Charlotte Thorne returns to her college reunion feeling like a hot mess—stuck in a dead-end job and dodging old friends, including the ex she ghosted, Reece. Yikes!

Dawson nails the blend of humor and heart as Charlotte navigates her toxic boss, past demons, and the pressure to prove she’s not a total failure. The millennial references are on point, making it relatable for anyone feeling the weight of unfulfilled dreams.

This book is equal parts sexy second-chance romance and a powerful reckoning with life’s messiness. If you’re queer and questioning everything, grab this one. It’s a witty reminder that it’s okay to be stuck—and that sometimes, facing the past can lead to a brighter future. Don’t sleep on this one!

Thus book was so annoying with irritating characters and writing. I couldn't finish it and ended up dnf-ing the whole thing which I really try hard not to do.

Funny how they mention all the cringe of the reunion in the review, because that's how I felt when reading how the FMC was going through it.

I really didn't expect to love this book so much. Charlotte Thorne is coming back to her alma mater for her five year reunion, where she will see her best friends and chosen family, but also her exes. The whole book happens in a long weekend and I loved the writing, it was fast-paced but described enough context to not create confusion about what's going on. There is a love story but also great descriptions of friendship that were very heartwarming. A couple of spicy scenes that I wasn't mad about, too. But mostly, this book talks about a kind of abuse that not a lot of books describe: emotional abuse. It narrates how Charlotte was mistreated by her mother after her parents got divorced, how she unconsciously repeated a pattern with Ben, an ex that really broke her and caused panic even years after, and how she didn't know how to act when she actually meets a nice boy who cares about her. We see her work at a job with an equally abusive boss who disrespects her but has issues quitting because putting up with these kind of people is what she grew up with. It's very sad but a real issue that a lot of people experience and sometimes don't acknowledge. It really blew my mind, it was very well represented. The ending was amazing. I'm excited to read more about this author.

When reading reviews of this novel, I was unsurprised to find reviews from women in their mid-20’s who were like, THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN FOR ME. The story follows Charlotte, who’s returned to her alma mater for her 5th college reunion and is struggling with every facet of her life. Throughout the weekend, she examines her job, her friendships, and reconnects with someone from her past (I didn’t expect the romantic plot line but enjoyed it!). This was a bit long but beautifully-written; I’ll def read whatever she writes next!

Wow! "But How Are You, Really" by Ella Dawson, which began as a light, sexy and fun novel, carried much weight as it progressed, in depicting the effects of abusive relationships on self-esteem. Powerful messages, steamy parts, and loveable characters. Thank you to the author, NetGalley and the publisher for the review copy. All opinions are my own.

But How Are You, Really is a heartfelt exploration of identity, relationships, and self-acceptance, with beautifully authentic LGBTQIA+ representation at its core. Ella Dawson captures the complexities of being queer with nuance and care, weaving experiences of love, loss, and personal growth into a narrative that feels both deeply personal and universally relatable. This book is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t linear and that finding yourself is a journey worth embracing, no matter how messy it gets. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking a story that truly reflects the multifaceted nature of queer identity

📚 BOOK REVIEW 📚

But How Are You, Really By Ella Dawson
Publication Date: June 4, 2024
Publisher: Penguin Group Dutton | Dutton

📚MY RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨
(Rounded Up To 5⭐)

📚MY REVIEW:

But How Are You, Really was a heart-warming story about the ups-and-downs of post-college life, the mistakes we make along the way, and the realization that the love and support of our chosen family can help us become the person we've always known we wanted to be.

This book centers around a lovably quirky, bisexual female main character, Charlotte, who returns to her alma mater, Hein University, during her graduating class's five-year reunion at spring commencement. It just so happens her miserable narcissist boss is giving the commencement speech at graduation, so Charlotte has to balance the nostalgia of reconnecting with old friends and old flames with the incessant needs of her boss.

At first, I wasn't sure this book was for me, as it seemed it might be better geared toward younger adults still struggling with figuring out how to 'adult' in those first few years after college. But the more I read, the more endearing ALL of the characters in this book became...And I found myself really invested in each of their stories and how things were going to turn out for them at the end of this reunion weekend.

Dawson's writing style was so authentically relatable, she created characters who felt so real you wanted to give them hugs throughout the book. The setting of the characters' story, back together at their college campus for the first time in five years, evoked such strong feelings of nostalgia for my own college days and sparked memories of things I didn't even know I remembered until I read about them in the pages.

But How Are You, Really is a beautiful story about acceptance. About the vulnerability of being our authentic selves, letting down our walls, getting rid of our negative self-talk, and learning that we're all worthy of being loved... Just as we are. It reminds us to connect with one another in a deeper way and ask the title's very question, "But how are you, really?" every chance we get, because we're all fighting our own inside battles nobody else can see.

I have to thank NetGalley, Penguin Group | Dutton and Ella Dawson for providing me an e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

#ButHowAreYouReally #EllaDawson #PenguinGroupDutton #NetGalley #NetGalleyReviews #ARC #womensfiction #lgbtqiafiction #romance #bookreviews #bookrecommendations #bookrecs

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review an advanced copy of this novel. I highly enjoyed it and will be recommending it to others.

This book was sooooooo gooood!! And it was not at all what I expected. Yes, technically, it is a romance. But it’s also so much more than that!

There are definitely a lot of triggers in this book, so be warned before you get into it.

I got very upset with Charlotte during SEVERAL different parts, LIKE REALLY MAD, but looking back I can see how that is intentional due to its ending. I honestly wish that this book was longer because by the end I was honestly so invested and needed to know more!! Her character growth by the end was perfect and I just wish that I could’ve gotten to see more of that side to her.