much-needed bisexual representation, huzzah! love this story of reunions and reconnections, will be adding it to my pride lists asap.

Loved this one! Dawson captured the liberal arts experience so well. Definitely more of a romance than I was expecting but it was HOT and had me giggling and kicking my feet. Complements Old Enough by Haley Jakobson well - if you enjoyed that book I’d definitely recommend!

It's like a gut punch that never stops coming. Charlotte and friends are a little older than me, a cusp Zoomer, but I think the fears and struggles of post college life for low income, queer kids with shitty parents stay pretty resonant. The middle sagged a bit for me, but overall, this hit hard as I get ever closer to my own 5 years post graduation. I loved seeing so much on the page communication between characters and friendships that felt real, with all the frustration that comes along with the love.

This was a quick read full of buzzy millennial/Gen Z tropes, but when it got down to the serious heart of it I just felt like it fell short. I was grateful for the ending, but even as someone who has dealt with her share of trauma I found myself frustrated with, rather than empathetic toward, Charlotte. And juxtaposing a steamy romance with these heavy topics just left me with a bit of whiplash. Ultimately I’m not unhappy I read it but I will have forgotten it by tomorrow.

This was a nice quick read. I thoroughly enjoyed Charlotte's character development. There's nothing I love quite like flawed characters. I feel like the story could have benefitted from having multiple POVs, but that could just be me.

This one was more than I bargained for, and dealt with much more abuse and trauma than I anticipated. That being said, it addressed the issues well and I was glad I read it.

Charlotte, the main character in the story, returns to her college for her 5 year reunion- not because she wants to go, but because her toxic boss is giving the commencement speech. Charlotte isn't where she wants to be in life: A dead-end job that she can't afford to quit, estranged from her homophobic mother, sidelining her friendships for work commitments, and not processing the trauma of an emotionally abusive relationship in college (which stems from her emotionally abusive mother and continues into her emotionally abusive boss).

Her friends all see it and try to help, but Charlotte is in denial.

That starts to change when she reunites with Reece, the sweet hockey player she had a fling with before graduation. Through their relationship and reconnecting with her friends, she starts to see her own value and begins to find her voice again.

While I had difficulty relating to the reunion stuff (I've never attended a college reunion-my college life wasn't like the book suggested), the mental health struggles for Charlotte felt real and accurately portrayed. Often, people get so used to relationships, they don't see them as abusive until someone in the outside can convince them its not normal (and not what they deserve).

TW: verbally abusive relationships, homophobia, suicidal idealation, intrusive thoughts

Charlotte Thorne who is apart of the LGBTQIA+ community returns to college five years later because her boss, who she can't stand, is giving the commencement address at the graduation which just so happens to be on the same weekend of her classes reunion. Being on her college campus again for the first time in four years has Charlotte facing her past while also making hard decisions about her future. One of my main reasons for applying to receive this ARC is because of the title, I immediately knew that there had to be something about mental health awareness in it, being an LGBTQIA+ book was definitely a bonus as well. While I feel as though this book represented both communities in a positive light and that Charlotte's voice is strong and immediately draws the reader into her story I also felt like I just did not fully connect with her character. Immediately I felt as if I was drained from reading the book which for me personally is never a good sign. I also enjoyed the second chance trope that was added into the book, but for me I have never been interested in a main character who is very clearly trying to hide from their past. While this book was not my cup of tea I do believe that it will be someone else's and I highly recommend it to anyone who is willing to give it a try.

Thank you to Dutton for the copy! In the kindest light, But How Are You, Really could be regaled as half-decent, and at its worst, in no better terms, unremarkable and pitiful. There are high hopes in the synopsis — glimpses of navigating queerness and class struggle threaded between yearnings for lost love. And while this sense of suffering is terribly communal, the depictions of it unfortunately comes off as pedantic and one-dimensional.

Charlotte leads the narration of her emotional rut, stunted career path, and eventual arrival to her 5-year college reunion. The event stretches the majority of the plot and is primarily driven by her reconciliation with her ex-boyfriend whom she deeply regrets fucking up with. For the most part, Charlotte's woes (mainly about her job, self-worth, relationship) feel somewhat convincing, but they still lack a sort of inquisition / depth that would have allowed her character's complexity to materialize fully. The malaise is palpable yet rarely introspective, which in turn leaves the reader feeling trapped in the main character's self-pity. Frankly at this point, millennials themselves should know that the trope of "burnt out millennial" is overplayed and underdeveloped, but still, Ella Dawson persists.

There are other aspects of the book though that do feel worthy of appreciation: the parts that shone light on how emotionally abusive relationships operate and how we revert to our previous selves in the face of our abusers. The story feels the most tender and genuine here — Dawson peels back the layers and it feels like an undressing. There's a certain care that must be taken in telling a survivor's grief, and Dawson allows it to be a cathartic release rather than a confession of guilt. On one hand, these moments prove that Dawson's storytelling can be both delicate and compelling; on the other, it leaves the reader wondering why this perceptiveness isn't maintained across the entire story.

I think my biggest issue with this book was that it all felt too on the nose, a bit too Pinocchio in its understanding of what it wants to be and its appetite to emulate that aspiration. That's all to say this felt more like an attempt to integrate the author's journal entries from college with a mimicry of what Emily Henry would produce had she not fleshed a whole plot out. This book struggles in persuading readers of the primary romance while expecting that they will root for a couple with little to no motivation. It flails in its efforts to be facetious and cunning, attempts that ultimately feel embarrassing when they fail.

This is possibly my favorite book of this year. It was incredible. I loved the story, the characters, and the resolution. We change a lot but when we return to previous places its hard to show how much we have changed. Anyone who has experienced a change and reunion of some sort will find solace in this book.

This book was a ROLLER COASTER.

I was rolling at all these people hooking up at this college reunion 😂.

I felt like the characters were relatable, the MC Charlotte especially.

I did get a little put off at first that Charlotte felt like she wasn’t as successful as her friends because she was in an administrative support role and not in the art field like she’d planned. Anyone who’s ever been an admin KNOWS they work their asses off and it’s not a position to be looked down upon and instead to be proud of.

HOWEVER, Charlotte’s particular situation was infuriating and the last like 10% of the book I was so full of rage on her behalf and was so happy for her in the end. She was lucky to have a support system regardless of whether she realized it or not in the beginning.

This book was heavy at times, but ended with hope. And that’s always my favorite. We need that sometimes.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this, it became more of a romance than I was expecting, very focused on Charlotte’s relationship with Reece. Sometimes it felt a little cringe because it felt totally cliche to hook up with the ex at the reunion, but he was just so NICE, so wholesome, so good for Charlotte. So it was all fine.

Thank you @netgalley and @duttonbooks for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

This book was fine, but unfortunately nothing to write home about! I found myself skimming through the end to be done with it, as I wasn't super invested with the plot or characters.

I was hoping I would love this one because I'm always a fan of LGBTQIA+ and Mental Health representation in novels, but I wanted more from Charlotte as an MC. There were points where she felt like a caricature of her identity, which can be draining and disappointing for anyone who is hoping to relate to a diverse story.

However, if you're looking for a low-stakes romance, you may enjoy it! I'd recommend taking a look at other reviews, as it could just be me who was bored.

3.5 stars. I found this to be enjoyable enough, however, I found the main character to be frustrating at times. I appreciate the anxiety representation, however her constant wishywashiness with the love interest was frustrating and immature.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story about Charlotte returning to her alma mater for the five year reunion. She’s been busting her ass at a job in New York, being an executive assistant for a problematic, misogynistic, narcissist who will also be giving the commencement speech at graduation at the same school. Worlds are colliding. Not only is Charlotte’s heinous boss going to be at her college that weekend too, but she’s reuniting with her friends–who she hasn't kept entirely in the loop on how miserable she currently is–and she is definitely running into not one, but two college exes. Yikes. It explores some dark themes, like surviving abuse and confronting your abuser, how that impacts your future relationships and self-worth, in a way that is so real and heartbreaking.

thank you netgalley for the e-arc. i can always appreciate when there are many, many characters but each of them have their own personality that you can keep track of and dawson was able to do this very well. i think this book will do well with audiences from between just recently out of college and maybe up until the age of when that becomes nostalgic. the dialogue was something i took note of, it was mostly of substance and not much filler like small talk stuff.

instant 5 star read!!! i love messy bisexuals, i felt so seen and heard and loved and held through every page <3

I enjoyed But How Are You, Really. It was a relatable story. I liked the main character and the storyline. The climax of the conflict with her shitty boss was satisfying. I would recommend picking it up. The romance part of the book was okay too but I cared more about the main character and what she was going through than I did that.

Ella Dawson does a great job showing the in-between state of leaving college and not fully feeling like you've got your life on track. I could relate to Charlotte's disappointment in her current lot in life and her fear that everyone is doing better than her. This felt like a second-coming-of-age story mixed with some romance.

* I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this book. All thoughts are my own.

This book is more character driven than plot driven and I don’t typically enjoy character driven books as much. I do think the author did this well because the character is really annoying at the beginning and she ends up being somebody that you’re rooting for at the end. I just think it took too long for me to want to pick the book back up and get into it each time I did read it, so I can’t rate it any higher than 3 stars. We also get introduced to a lot of side characters and I would’ve really enjoyed some of their POV’s.

Overall, I do think people will enjoy this book especially if you love a character story. So I would recommend it to that group of people.

Love seeing representation for messy depressed bisexuals. Possibly felt a bit too seen with the shitty parents. Great found family. Pleasantly surprised by the sex scenes.

Thanks to Penguin and Netgalley for this advanced copy!

This was such a fun tale of a 5 year college reunion and one woman's attempt to come to terms with where she's at in her life. I loved the messiness of Charlotte Thorne because it felt authentic and natural. Her friend group and the way they interacted reminded me of my own friends and I appreciated how Dawson wrote so many different types of characters, having them be architypes while not having them be stale or charactures. And the ending felt so fantastic! I won't spoil it but, I LOVED it.

So much fun, so much fun. I can't wait for the next book!