I just want to thank Dutton and NetGalley for the eARC of But How Are You, Really. I was so so excited to get this eARC but it fell really short for me. It's taken me a bit longer to read. I find myself struggling with reading books with longer chapters, and this book has exactly that. I read 2 chapters of the book and was already on 20% of the book.

I felt as if the book was just too wordy and there definitely could have been less explaining in the book. The writing was good but there wasn't really much of a plot and it just felt a bit like chaos reading. The pacing is just a bit off but the storyline of the book would have been great if there wasn't so much words to the story.

Class reunions would be my worst nightmare. I'm so thankful we haven't done one. Because I'd 100% be like Charlotte. I totally understood her feeling of having to pretend. These illusions about how our lives are going, the social media edit, that comes up during a reunion. When we all talk about how great our life is going, when there doesn't seem to a moment for vulnerability. And for Charlotte, she also has these deep seated moments of wondering if this career is even for her, if she's moving on the right path. Talk about relatable?

A NEW FAVORITE EVERYONE!!!

Was this perfect? No, but it was perfect to ME. This is the story high school me needed when she felt alone in understanding her sexuality and feared the expansiveness of her future. This is the story college me needed when she realized she hated adult life and had to make changes to her life. The narrative is honest, funny, painful, hopeful and spot on. I annotated pretty much every page of it because I saw my thoughts and feelings reflected in Charlotte's. It was scary, I felt called out! We've all been in her place and can relate to how hard it is to like yourself when you don't truly know what you want.
To capture such difficult feelings so candidly is an impressive feat from Dawson, as a debut author! I loved almost everything about it: Charlotte, the authenticity of her friendships, campus vibes, the reality of sexism and toxicity in corporate America, LGBTQ+ representation (!!!), the trauma of abusive relationships... I could sing Ella Dawson's praises for hours. REESE?! Protect this man at all costs because his patience for and belief in Charlotte had me in a puddle on the floor. My only complaint is that it wasn't more of a slow burn, but I concluded this actually stays true to Charlotte's emotional instability and makes me feel for her. VERY realistic for a survivor of an abusive relationship.
Tackling so many heavy themes should be impossible but in this book, it all works together so damn well. This is not just another campus novel and Charlotte is not just another infuriatingly-conflicted-20-something. She is raw and real; she is me, I am she. And the bi representation is the best I've ever read. All of the queer rep, really, especially in her friendship dynamics. Found family at its finest! Her friends are not just convenient side characters, they all had huge personalities and beautiful arcs. I keep thinking about them all and that's how you know a story has real meaning.
This should be required reading and I know for a fact that this will heal something in anyone who has struggled in their identity and place in the world. Dawson has created something that both destroys and comforts you; it will have a lasting impact on our generation.

Content Warnings: Abusive relationships (Intimate & Work); Mental Health Issues (Depression, PTSD, Trauma)

Dawson's novel of a burnout, bisexual Millenial who attends a 5 year reunion and navigates her nostalgia-and-mistakes of the past with her not-as-she'd-hoped present will probably be a read others enjoy, but it didn't land right for me. What I did enjoy in the novel was the numerous, supportive friendships, diversity, and overall growth of our main character. However, I'm not a huge romance person, so a lot of the plot being focused on rekindling a lost relationship wasn't my cup of tea. There is also a great deal of nostalgia for a very specific type of college experience that I did not have, even though I match the age group of the characters depicted.

If the blurb sounds good to you, I'd recommend reading it. Just because it didn't jive with me doesn't mean you or others won't enjoy it.

But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson is a perfect fit for readers who crave a heartwarming and relatable exploration of millennial burnout, queer identity, and second chance romance, with a strong focus on chosen family and coming-of-age themes that will resonate deeply with fans of contemporary romance and LGBTQIA+ literature. **This is from the @Storygraph preview**

I found this book from the author on Threads and immediately connected with the main character!
Charlotte Thorne is headed back to her 5 year college reunion! Not only is she attending as an alumnus, she is also working all weekend, as her boss is the commencement speaker at the end of the weekend. We follow along as Charlotte navigates old relationships with new views on the world.

I loved this book! I have to say that this book hit me in all the right places. I connected with the main character and all of those around her. I loved that everyone had their own story to follow along with.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

A good coming of age, romance read, it was very relatable. There were a ton of tough topics here. It gave me a ton of emotions this character is going through a lot, and sadly it made me like her and then not lol. But I love a good second chance romance.

Loved that it was a quick read! Definitely a coming of age story with life lessons on love, regret, and hustle culture. Charlotte’s character development was impressive and noticeable from start to finish. I loved the friendships formed in the book and I almost wish it had been written with multiple POVs!

This was my official Pride month read. Its twentysomething quarter life crisis to healthy choices was exactly what I needed to remind myself that the work is not done. Kudos to Ella Dawson.

Thank you to PENGUIN GROUP Dutton | Dutton and NetGalley for providing an eARC for a honest review.

This was a great Pride month read about found family and the ups and downs of a tumultuous college reunion. Things I enjoyed: the supporting characters and their undying support for Charlotte, the nostalgic feels I got for my undergrad days, and the way that trauma was handled by the author. Things I didn't so much enjoy: Charlotte's selfishness and the slow pacing of the book (did this book really only span a weekend??). Overall a fun, quick read but one that I likely won't think back on too often.

This is a quick little piece of contemporary fiction that covers the quarterlife crisis in a slightly humorous and romantic way. Charlotte Thorne is going back to her college for alumni weekend, but she is going because the job she hates requires her to live tweet her horrible boss’s commencement speech. If everything goes smoothly this trip could help her nab the newly opened and highly coveted job in the art department at the tech journalism company, she works for. The bright side of this work trip is that she is going to get a chance to catch up with some friends from the LGBTQIA+ program house, even if it seems like they are all doing a million times better than she is at adulting. From constant slack messages from her boss and precarious run ins with exes, charlotte has a lot of things to juggle. When the one that got away appears to still have a thing for her, she must work overtime to figure out what she wants from her life and from this weekend. It doesn’t help that her nosey friends don’t seem to believe her when she says that things are fine, and they keep digging into why she seems to have disappeared this past year. Stuck in denial, charlotte has one weekend to figure it all out. This is a book about learning how to stand up for yourself, how to love yourself and when to ask your friends for help. I fell in love and rooted for Charlotte while she was on her introspective journey into the future. There is some real chemistry and banter in this book while still having a sad girl vibe. There are a couple of steamy scenes but overall, the book has a real world feel to it that makes the whole thing that much better.

but how are you really is a great piece of fiction that's somehow so relatable. it shows how everyone struggles in their adult lives even if social media sugarcoats everything. the romance was a very well developed subplot that felt very supportive of the main character's personal growth. this story is about friendship and the supportive circle of close people around you, it's about love and it's about hardships one can experience while freshly out of college. i'd call it a coming of age story for new adults because that's what it is, it shows how we all oftentimes feel lost and don't know how to find the right place in the world where we could feel loved, happy and content.

When I saw Ella Dawson was publishing a book I was so excited to read it - I’ve folllowed her online for years and was thrilled for a bisexual main character. The book did not disappoint! While I’m out as a lesbian now, I initially came out several years ago as bisexual, and even though it’s not my identity I still loved seeing that representation.

Party *gifted ARC* This was fun! I loved the complexity of these characters and I always love seeing people put the hard work in to remain friends from college to life after. It’s hard and messy. Relationships of all kinds need work and deserve care. I also love that Charlie’s toxic college relationship was taken seriously by her loved ones bc so many times traumatic things when you’re younger are just chalked up to people being “young and stupid.” When in reality that man was a manipulative piece of shit. Charlie’s feelings will resonate with so many people. This book was also beautifully written and highlight-worthy. What brought it down to 3 stars for me was that it felt repetitive. The plot kind of went in a circle and that got a bit boring for me. Overall I recommend this!

But How Are You Really follows Charlotte Thorne, a 20something assistant who returns to her college for her 5 year reunion. The book takes place over the course of a long weekend as Charlotte reconnects with old friends, including the guy who got away. Throw in a boss who doesn’t respect her or any boundaries, and an ex-boyfriend she didn’t expect to ever see again, and Charlotte’s weekend suddenly isn’t all about fun and games.

While this was a mostly light book, But How Are You Really managed to tackle a lot of heavy topics at the same time. Charlotte struggles a lot with trauma involving a past relationship and her horrible mother, and returning to her alma mater really stirs up everything she left tucked in the past. Charlotte was easy to relate to and I was really rooting for her in the end. All in all I thought this was a sweet second chance romance with the addition of a lovely and supportive found family. I loved all of the Queer rep and thought this was the perfect read to kick off pride month!

Thank you to Dutton and NetGalley for a review copy.

Received on Netgalley. A solid 3 star read - and even better, a great book to read during Pride Month! I related with the title because once you get past the fluff, digging in to ask someone "But how are you, really?" is such a heartwarming and lovely connector. This was a delightful trip down memory lane

This book was a pretty standard contemporary fiction romp. As someone who is already three years out from their college graduation, it was easy to sympathize with Charlotte’s experience of not quite understanding where she belongs in her own life. The romance subplot was sweet and helped to develop both of the characters involved. However, there were so many side characters that I found it hard to keep track of who was who. I also found the prose and humor quite millennial, though I suppose that was the point, as the book even makes a mention to an in-universe Buzzfeed clone. I can see people in a slightly older age group than me really enjoying this one, but it wasn’t for me.

I received this book for free for an honest review from netgalley. Thank you for the opportunity

Too YA for me but for its target audience it would be great

I think this is a book I would have enjoyed a lot more in my early twenties. Unfortunately, as someone in a much later stage of life, I just count not connect with the main character and I struggled through this book. I don't think it was bad, it's just a right book, wrong time kind of situation for me.

DNF @ 15%. It became apparent fairly quickly that this book wasn't going to be for me. I hate when there are certain "buzzwords" dropped into a story instead of explaining it or making it apart of who the character is. I'd rather learn who the characters are than hear a word describe them. The first 15% suffered from an overabundance of inner thoughts and I prefer stories with more dialogue.

Thank you to NetGalley, the Author and Penguin Group Dutton for allowing me to be an early reader. All thoughts are my own.

Sadly this book was not for me. It was too character driven and I just found myself not really caring about the outcome. I got to 80% through and it was a struggle to get myself to pick it up so I dnf'd.