I am not a mother but Pandora Sykes recommended this and I thought it was so beautiful and such an interesting insight to motherhood and all facets of it. I would definitely recommend to all women.

A raw and honest insider’s view of the first years of motherhood.
At times this book was almost painful to read because Kilroy completely nails how isolating the entry into motherhood can feel; the conflicting feelings of intense love but also loneliness and loss of self. There were a few parts that felt a bit over the top, and things really seemed to end with a neatly tied bow, but overall I thought that this was an excellent read.
Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for this ARC!

I don't tend to gravitate towards books that make motherhood out to be a horror story -- but as a mother of two children who stays at home full time I must admit this monologue nailed the experience. The feelings of loss of self, the way motherhood changes the relationship with your spouse, the sleepless nights, the endless negotiations, the longing for you life pre kids, the way motherhood requires you to "soldier" on day and night with not a single break in sight...yes I felt seen. The final chapter had me bawling my eyes out (rare).

What a beautiful testament to motherhood: the good, the bad and everything in between. This book was so honest and raw in its depiction of what being a mother truly means. I cried and I laughed and it was beautiful.

I'm not a mother yet, but am glad I read this at this point in my life because I think it could just be too much if I had kids at this time! It was such a raw and fragile look into this part of life that can at times be seen as inevitable and normal, but this gripping novel reveals so much about the inner world during this time. I think everyone should read this book, especially parents and even non parents!

This . . . didn't feel like fiction. This felt like all the parts of my experiences parenting where I ever wondered "is it like this for everyone? Why did no one tell me it would be like this?" Perhaps they did and I didn't listen. I wonder what I would have thought of this book before I had a baby. I might have enjoyed it, but I definitely wouldn't have needed it the way I needed it now. It was absolutely, painfully beautiful, both real and at times surreal in a way that felt frightfully relatable. I have had the arguments in this book. I have had these exact thoughts. The scene where Soldier is scrambled by Sailor's screams as he teethes was a visceral vision of my own experiences with sick babies. I sobbed reading this book, but it offered such wonderful catharsis.

love. Early days of motherhood are not easy and there has been a lot of literature recognizing that. This story will resonate with a lot of people who have been through the thick of it. Kilroy’s stream of consciousness writing is full of emotion and is beautiful, outlining the highs along with the lows of the journey. While I could relate to the feelings, this might not have been the best time for me to have read this novel. I’m far enough from the early days to not be super close to the topic but still close enough that I’m not ready to think about it. I think if I had read it at a different time it might have been more impactful for me.

soldier Sailor was an excellent read. I really appreciate books that look at motherhood from an unusual angle. This was heartwrenching.

Soldier Sailor is a brutal, discerning look at early motherhood and a truly terrible disastrous marriage. Kilroy wonderfully writes about a mother's mental state bordering on madness, the perpetual feeling of crisis and, the isolation of raising a newborn without support. Solidier Sailor is a haunting book that I recommend to anyone looking to be moved.

Thank you to netgalley and Scribner for this eARC.

Written as a letter from a mother to her son, Soldier Sailor is a beautifully written, emotional, raw look at the early days of motherhood.

I was not prepared for the weight of this book and staggered under it a bit, and that's on me. The writing is great, and it is intense as hell.

Free advanced copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Forget gifting your pregnant bestie the age old #WhatToExpectWhenYoureExpecting and instead opt in for #WomensPrize shortlisted #SoldierSailor instead. Better yet, get this for their husbands/partners so they can be well informed about what motherhood can truly be like and how the can contribute to this life altering event.

This stunning book reads almost like a thriller, as Kilroy unflinchingly excavates the mind, heart and soul of a new Mother as she tries to stay afloat amidst sleep deprivation, an unhelpful spouse and a society that expects a woman not only to bounce back but thrive amidst the chaos. Written as a near stream of consciousness to her son Sailor her narrative builds to a gorgeous crescendo that had me weeping by the end and remembering how long the days felt but how quickly the years flew by.

Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy is an intense, immersive read that details a perspective on motherhood that is not frequently read or heard. The first person narrative is extremely compelling and effective. This honest portrayal and voice on the experience of being a mother lingers even after reading the book. Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for this honest review.

What a beautiful book. It really illustrates new motherhood as it is a letter to a young boy from his loving, tired, overwhelmed mother. It's not a traditional narrative, as we read about his early years in great detail--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Wow, she really nails early motherhood. I had forgotten so much of this. Well done.

Such an interesting perspective and I felt it was really gripping. Some aspects lost me just a drop.

Equal parts beautiful and brutal, Soldier Sailor explores the transformation that occurs when you become a mother—your identity is reshaped, your goals and expectations drop away, you grow claws and lose your mind, you sacrifice and surrender to a new way of living. We witness Sailor endure all of this without proper support which is painfully isolating for her. Kilroy deftly captures the joy, rage, and overwhelming love in this raw and visceral account of early motherhood.

“Soldier Sailor” by Claire Kilroy was just released here this past week and is on the shortlist for the Women’s Prize for Fiction, the winner being announced June 13. It is the story of a woman raising her infant and losing herself as she finds her whole world turned upside-down. She is always exhausted, emotionally spent, and feeling bad about feeling bad. Of course she loves her son, repeating she would kill for him– she would die for him. At her lowest point she momentarily abandoned him with the notion he could be raised by someone better.

She has no support system. Her husband has no understanding of her plight. He spends an excessive amount of time at work and then assumes a patronizing demeanor when she complains or begs for help.

“All I do is housework and childcare and I’m sleep-deprived and think-deprived because I never get a moment to myself, not even in the toilet… You’d like to diagnose postnatal depression because then it’s not your fault.”

Now here is my problem with the book, my problem. The first half is so tight, depicting the desperation so well– it feels claustrophobic. The repeated head-butting with her dense husband was going nowhere and it was hard to keep plodding on. Luckily, she meets an old friend in the park, a man raising three children, and their interaction relieves a lot of her frustration and depressurizes some of the book's tension.

While I would not read the book again, it does do what it sets out to do. It depicts the absolute madness one can go through raising an infant. I suppose if it was light and breezy to read, it would not be communicating the absolute hell the mother was going through.

Thank you to Scribner and NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

*3.5*
TW: If you had PPD or anything like it after giving birth, I think this could potentially be very triggering. On a very "it's me, not you" note about this book: if you aren't fond of a four letter word that starts with F, you may not enjoy this.

Soldier Sailor is a visceral look at the emotional, physical, and, often, relational strain of new motherhood. In these pages, Soldier, the mother, is speaking directly to Sailor, her son, about the overwhelming love and difficulty of his early years. This is a very raw take on the loneliness, grief, resentment, rage, and fear that somehow coexists with the joy, love, and wonder of becoming a mother.

I underlined so many things in the first chapter, I thought I'd be weeping throughout this whole novel but that wasn't the case. Soldier's experience is so extreme and dark at times that I found it, thank God, outside of the scope of what I could relate to (though I'm firmly in the camp of not needing to relate to a book to enjoy or experience it). Soldier Sailor made me infinitely grateful for the support network I had in my life when I had children - I wanted to scream to this book, "Where are the other women in her life? Mothers? Friends? " It made me grateful for my husband in a new way, because Soldier's husband seemed so distant/awful at times (in actuality or only in Soldier's eyes). Gosh, this was heartbreaking - and yet it ended on such a hopeful and beautiful note.

I have mixed feelings about this one overall, but I know it will be an important book to many women. I'm rounding up to 4 stars for the first and last few chapters, which spoke the most to my mother heart.

Thank you NetGalley and Scribner for an advanced reader copy for review. All opinions are my own.

Told through an intimate letter to her son, this story of the arduous and exhausting days of new motherhood is incredibly raw. In SOLDIER SAILOR, a woman grapples with her new identity as a caregiver, a fierce love for her son, and what it all means for the shifting dynamics of her marriage simmering with resentment. The depictions of postpartum mental health looms heavy, but Kilroy’s writing is absolutely stunning. This unflinchingly bleak yet beautiful story is one I won’t soon forget.

READ THIS IF YOU:
-are willing to withhold judgment and extend grace towards a new mother
-enjoy thought-provoking and emotive literary novels
-are interested in Irish Literature short listed for the Women’s Prize

Many thanks to Scribner and NetGalley for an electronic ARC in exchange for an honest review.

SOLDIER SAILOR by Claire Kilroy ~to be published in the U.S. June 4, 2024

Many thanks to @scribnerbooks for the gifted advance reader’s copy! This is out today!

Soldier Salior is an exploration of new motherhood, of post partum depression, and of the juxtaposition between loving your child so much that you would kill for them, yet at the same time feeling completely overwhelmed by the loss of your former identity. I think all parents will relate on some level, however this mother’s journey is more fraught than most. The title is a play on the “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor” rhyme, the idea being that this mother (the soldier) is engaged in a daily battle, while her child sails merrily along.

The stream of consciousness writing style worked well for me, and I was immediately swept away by the tense early pages. Following this mother in such a desperate and raw state made this a brutal read at times — I wanted to swoop in, give her a hug, and do the dishes for her, something that her husband seemed unwilling to do. The appearance of her friend (an old flame?) added another layer of interest, as the reader isn’t sure by the end which meetings were real and which were imagined. This is certainly a worthy contender (shortlisted) for the Women’s Prize!