“Soldier Sailor” by Claire Kilroy is told from the perspective of Soldier, a first-time mother, as she speaks to her son Sailor about the difficulties she faced the first few years of raising him. Kilroy puts words to the dark moments many mothers feel, as they try to navigate the seemingly impossible task of being the perfect mother, wife, and best version of yourself all at the same time. The straightforward prose was gripping and had me hanging on every word, waiting to see how Soldier would navigate her most challenging feelings and moments. Kilroy doesn’t shy away from cataloguing the complexities of how an uneven division of labor and unrealistic expectations from your partner can greatly contribute to postpartum difficulties for a new mom (for that matter, it would certainly cause difficulties in most relationships!). This should be a must read for everyone, as we as a society need to better understand motherhood and how to support mothers.

Shortlisted for the 2024 Women’s Prize for Fiction, this novel is written from the perspective of a first-time mother (Soldier) to her young child (Sailor).

People who have given birth will recognize in the guttural prose the apt descriptions of the all-consuming, hazy fugue state of the postpartum period.

It says the darkest parts of motherhood out loud and poignantly captures the feeling I’ve never quite known how to put words to: “I love you so much. I hate this so much.” “I want to walk away from it all. I can’t ever be without you.”

I found myself holding my breath and full body clenching during many scenes, wondering if Soldier would cross the line and let the intrusive thoughts take over into the unspeakable terrain.

My only gripe with Soldier Sailor: I found the husband character infuriatingly unsupportive to the point where it came across a bit melodramatic. I think a more nuanced approach would have interrogated the subtle ways that even well-meaning, male socialized co-parents end up reinforcing patriarchal scripts that leave mothers feeling even more gaslit and isolated.

Read this if:
✔️ You’ve ever suffered from postpartum depression
✔️ You enjoy stories about motherhood
✔️ You like just vibes, no plot books about messy women

I found Claire Kilroy’s novel, Soldier Sailor, absolutely riveting. Hers is a story of young motherhood, cast as a psychological thriller. The narrator (“Sailor”) communicates in second person to her young son (“Sailor”), and her internal monologue is by turns piercing and visceral, tender and evocative. I was fiercely gripped not only by Kilroy’s skillful prose and pacing, but by the substance of the novel – Soldier Sailor so perfectly encapsulates my fear of losing myself in the relentlessness of motherhood and also my concern at missing out in motherhood’s moments of wonder and delirious joy.

Kilroy’s novel also serves as a damning indictment of the division of labor in many (dare I say, most?) straight marriages. I wish all the straight men in my life would read this.

Sincere thanks to Scribner and Netgalley for the e-ARC! I loved it so much I just ordered it in hardback. Soldier Sailor is out in the U.S. today (6/4).

This book was sadly not for me. The writing at times felt like it was trying too hard but on one hand there were some good moments. I think the issue mostly for me was just the plot of the story. I know it was trying to show the nuances of motherhood in a deep way, but unfortunately I couldn’t jump on board with Sailor.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Scribner for the ARC. I love you guys.

This is a raw, brutally honest story about early motherhood. The narrator is Soldier writing to her young son, Sailor, about the bleary-eyed, intense, overwhelming first few years of becoming his mom. At several moments, I held my breath waiting for tragedy to strike. It usually didn't, but the frantic tone of the writing and Soldier's state of mind matches those tense moments as a mom where you're imagining the worst case scenario while also realizing you're the adult and no one else is coming to help you. Kilroy does an incredible job putting words to those feelings of panic and overwhelm. I was most engaged with the scenes when Soldier is interacting with other adults as well as Sailor. The writing was remarkable and it is a book filled with a rawness and honesty that I haven't read before.

Thank you Netgalley for this eARC!

told from the perspective of a mother as a bedtime story for her son, soldier sailor is a visceral and propulsive deep dive into the horrors and joys of motherhood. our narrator, soldier, is feeling unmoored and unlike herself, receiving little to no support from her husband as he works longer and longer hours, leaving her to grapple with the early days of motherhood. very reminiscent of a quote from arlington park by rachel cusk when talking about those small acts in a relationship that lead to resentment - “they take a woman, and little by little they murder her.” there are some incredibly intense scenes in here - this one is right up there for me with liars by sarah manguso, in terms of how deeply i was feeling my reactions to this book. kilroy does not hold back with her honesty here, which could be uncomfortable for some but i adored how raw the emotions were. the love soldier has for her son is palpable even throughout the difficulties they face together, and those difficulties are rendered in a beautiful, almost stream of consciousness style. i don’t see this being for everyone but if you could handle splinters by leslie jamison, my work by olga ravn, and a life’s work by rachel cusk i think this is right in their ranks!

“What struck me as the starkest contradiction of all was that having navigated this much of life - the volatility of youth, of love and loss, the agony and the ecstasy - the closest I had come to losing my mind was during the period known as settling down.”

I saw this book recommended on social media and didn't know a whole lot about it going in and I was blown away by the writing and how much I loved it.

Soldier is writing this directly to her son, Sailor, and at the beginning of the book Sailor is an infant and Soldier is in the midst of new motherhood.

Claire Kilroy has such an amazing way with words and I loved every bit of this book. I related so much to a lot of it - she is so accurate in her descriptions of mothering and the isolation and claustrophobia. I loved the descriptions of the playground and the dynamics, and related so much to the stroller dilemmas and toddler antics.

I would recommend this to anyone whose kids are slightly older, who aren't in the trenches of having young children. The writing is phenomenal and I am so eager to read all of Claire Kilroy's work as soon as possible!

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!

You might find yourself holding your breath as you read this novel that's a love letter from Soldier to her young son Sailor. She's coping as best she can with the overwhelming emotions and requirements of motherhood. Is she an unreliable narrator or is her stream of consciousness a reflection of exhaustion and terror and anger and love? It's claustrophobic at times and expansive at others. Thanks to netgalley for the ARC. For fans of literary fiction.

I really admire the genuine horror that Claire Kilroy brings out of even the most mundane situations in Soldier Sailor. As the protagonist makes her way through the early months of motherhood her anxiety and exhaustion are palpable. Everything from grocery shopping to engaging in small talk become hellish ordeals when you’re at your wits’ end like this protagonist.

For a novel with hardly any plot, Soldier Sailor flies by. Kilroy maintains a fever pitch for 200 pages which I found impressive. I can’t imagine anyone reading this in more than three sittings because it compels you to see it through to the end as quickly as possible. There are some sweet moments scattered throughout, but what I’ll remember most about Soldier Sailor is its absolutely brutal intensity.

An excellent, heartbreaking, honest look at early motherhood and how it changes a woman. I will recommend this book to all the mothers I know. It was so refreshing to see a brutally honest look at early motherhood, especially as a woman myself who had a rougher introduction to being a mother. It was so affirming to me to see that reflected on the page.

Thanks to NetGalley for the arc of this book in exchange for an honest review! :)

Wow, this book packed a punch. It is a raw, brutally honest story about early motherhood. The narrator is Soldier writing to her young son, Sailor, about the bleary-eyed, intense, overwhelming first few years of becoming his mom. It is a close POV where we get to see all her darkest thoughts that often make the book feel like a horror story. Soldier seems to go in and out of being a reliable/unreliable narrator and the story ebbs and flows between her stream of consciousness thoughts during a day with Sailor and scenes where she interacts with her husband or another parent at the park.

At several moments, I held my breath waiting for tragedy to strike. It usually didn't, but the frantic tone of the writing and Soldier's state of mind matches those tense moments as a mom where you're imagining the worst case scenario while also realizing you're the adult and no one else is coming to help you. That heavy weight of responsibility and loneliness. Kilroy does an incredible job putting words to those feelings of panic and overwhelm. The high highs of an immense love you never could have imagined followed a split second later with the low lows of what the sound of your baby's cries does to your heart and your insides. Or the frustration that comes from trying to feed real food to a child who only wants his bottle.

For me, I was most engaged with the scenes when Soldier is interacting with other adults as well as Sailor. Then, the close POV felt fresh and relatable. I'm dying to discuss her marriage with someone. The book has little to no plot, so the scenes with dialogue and interaction with the outside world helped to ground the story. But the pacing, at times, felt off. There is a scene or chapter set in an Ikea that lasts for a good chunk of the book followed by a small flash forward in time. Everything has almost a blurry or fuzzy film around it in the story. I felt like I mostly had a grasp on what was going on but maybe not fully, like some of it was slipping through my fingers. And although there is a whiff of resolution toward the end of the book, it's not much.

The writing was remarkable and it is a book filled with a rawness and honesty that I haven't read before. High 4 stars.

The love you feel for your child is hard to put into words. This author does a wonderful job of encapsulating so many of the emotions, the ups and downs of motherhood, the role of a wife and all that is "expected" from you as you learn to navigate everyday life with a new baby. This book is raw, emotional, and beautifully written - a symphony to motherhood.

Remarkable, stunning, exceptional. A must read.

Devastatingly, brutally honest, heartbreakingly tender, full of regret, wonder, resentment, joy, and most of all love - this book is so much more than its mere 150 pages. Soldier‘s words to her son, Sailor, are as much a bleak, frighteningly accurate description of the trenches we find ourselves in once these tiny people enter our lives and upend everything, as they are an ode, if not to motherhood itself then to the love beyond reason or understanding we feel for our children.

This book left me speechless, teary, gutted, and grateful. Everyone - mother or not, and certainly men, too - should read this gem.

Thank you to NetGalley and Scribner for the privilege of letting me read the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

„Soldier Sailor“ is slated to be released on June 4, 2024.

Praised to the skies though this novel has been in the UK, it wasn’t for me. Yes, the writing is witty and deft, and the observations on motherhood, parenting, marriage and men on point, but oh, the overload of childcare. Alternating between adoration and desperation, the narrative is an exhausting and exhaustive screed of the difficulties of managing a tot. I don’t have a tot and I’ve read enough about the difficulties of motherhood already. This added nothing. Just wore me down, and out.
Sorry, Kilroy may be a star but not for me, with this particular work.

This was absolutely stunning. The writing, the story, all of it was outstanding. I simply could not put this down.

This book is told from the point of view of Solider, a first-time mother at the end of her rope, to her young son, dubbed Sailor. There is a tight bond between the two, and she will do anything to keep him safe, including losing her identity and the relationship she once shared with her husband.

The writing is beautiful, and even though the feelings it evoked were raw, depressed, guilt, I was sucked into the story right away. I felt a wave of emotions as I breezed through this book, which is a testament to the writer's skill.

I haven’t experienced motherhood, but after finishing, I have so much empathy for my mom and all the moms out there. It may not be every woman's experience, but I'm sure some aspect of it will strike a chord. At the same time, the book works as a convincing advertisement for a childfree life.

I was really impressed by this book and understand why it's been so widely regarded. If you don't mind a story with some gloom, this one is well worth it.

A mother writes to her baby, Sailor, about her early days of motherhood, the strain of her marriage, and an old friend that may bring back her back to herself.

I can see why this was shortlisted for women’s price for fiction. What an amazing and emotional read this was. Any mother will relate with this story. She brings out how the extremely difficult moments coexist with the inexplicable love; and how it’s confusing. While so powerful, it also was smartly hilarious and had to laughing at times. Her conversations with and complaints about her husband were felt deeply in my heart and looked very familiar…

“The day you were born, a door appeared. A new room in my life. A whole new wing. The most beautiful thing I had ever been part of.”

“This is how marriages fall apart, Sailor. Not over infidelity or even lack of love, but over batteries, antibiotics, car seats.”

Soldier Sailor comes out in the US 6/4.

2.5 rounded up. This is totally a case of it is me, not the book. Soldier Sailor tells the story of raising an infant; those early moments where keeping the baby alive is what you are doing all the time. You have no outside life; you are immersed in everything baby; it is a struggle to get out of the house; you want to be free; your husband/partner does not get it and the resentment builds.

I get it. I lived it 4 times. But I don’t want to read a book about it because while it is important (I suppose) to have literature reflecting this experience, I do not want to read it. It is boring and not something I would like to relive.

For me, this book was the fiction version of Splinters, a memoir people loved, but had the same themes I did not need to relive.

I hardly know how to encapsulate this piece of work. You can feel the heart of it beating within the sentences. The desperate deep love of the mother throbs throughout the daily slog and exhaustion of parenting. Coursing within are the little jeweled moments that make it all worthwhile. It is a symphony of thoughts and feelings, a whirlpool center of anguish and exhilaration, confusion and a touch of madness. It ebbs with longing and anticipated loss. You are the mother, you’ve known many like the mother, you may be her someday. Her thrumming thoughts are always always of him, unsure of how to make sense of the depths of her love. This is a book about everything that awakens within us when we become parents, about how we try to make sense of the enormous responsibility, the breathtaking reality of being the source for another living person. I held my breath so many times, caught hanging on a sentence, a thought formed so perfectly right , the illuminating brushstroke, this book a true work of living art

I was excited about this one but unfortunately had to dnf. Thank you to the NetGalley and the publisher gifting me this arc.