🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

"You're Not the Problem" by Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna is an insightful and empowering exploration of narcissism in the family of origin. This book delves into the often-overlooked impact of being raised by narcissistic parents and offers valuable strategies for healing and breaking free from toxic patterns.

Villiers and McKenna provide a compassionate and sympathetic approach to understanding the language and behaviors of emotional abuse within family relationships. Through client narratives and sample scripts, they illustrate the immediate and long-term impact of these behaviors, helping readers recognize and address the trauma they may have experienced.

What sets this book apart is its focus not only on personal healing but also on societal change. By shedding light on the perpetuation of narcissistic and emotional abuse across generations, the authors empower readers to challenge these destructive patterns and create healthier relationships.

"You're Not the Problem" kept me engaged and enlightened throughout, offering valuable insights that resonated deeply. It's a must-read for anyone looking to understand and overcome the legacy of narcissistic parenting, and I highly recommend it to anyone on their journey of healing and self-discovery.

NetGalley ARC App

An Amazing read, full of information for anyone. Sometimes these topics are hard to talk about but this book gives so much for someone to learn to understand and find tools to regain the inner power.

A sometimes painful but incredibly healing read. Thank you Helen and Katie for this invaluable, compassionate, and empowering gift to all adult children of narcissistic and emotionally abusive parents. The gratitude I feel is beyond what words could ever express. I wish I could download this book directly into my brain so I would never forget a single word.

This is a book I will always cherish. It's a resource I'll keep coming back to for as long as my healing journey takes me.

Thank you to the Author and publisher for giving me an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was a great read. I found the writing & information easy to comprehend without it being it being super technical and above my level. It really helped put some of my past/present relationships into perspective by discussing the traits/ tactitics used by Narcissists. I really appreciate how it talks about the toll narcissitic abuse takes on its victims and what that can look like later in life.

This book is full of valuable information about narcissism and it's effects on family members. It's practically written and easy to understand where you'll gain valuable insight on how to worth through and move forward with these relationships as well as healing yourself. This book is full of knowledge that will help alot of people navigate their relationships with narcissists. I really enjoy self help and psychology type books, this one did not disappoint.

Thank you NetGalley and Hachette Books for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

I was so excited when I saw this book and I knew I needed to read it! Wow. Chapter 1: Is Your Parent a Narcissist? The first quote could have been written by me. I truly never understood why I wasn't good enough in my mother's eyes. I felt like nothing I ever did was going to make her love me, and believe me I tried and tried until I was exhausted. I feel like my mother is the combination narcissistic parent. She was highly critical and would not talk to me for days if I disagreed with her. I tried so hard to be whatever my mother wanted me to be growing up, that by the time I became an adult and it was time for me to go to college and figure my future out, I had no clue who I really was.
"You're Not the Problem" was SO incredibly helpful for me to read. It really opened my eyes. Sometimes I would feel so alone in my thoughts and not feel like I was good enough. This book really helped me see the light with stories and examples. If you've ever had a narcissistic parent in your life, I highly suggest reading this book!

"You're Not the Problem" by Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna is a vital resource for anyone grappling with the aftermath of narcissistic parenting or relationships. Drawing from personal anecdotes and therapeutic insights, the book sheds light on the lasting impact of emotional abuse while offering strategies for healing. As someone who has experienced the challenges of navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals, I found the validation and understanding provided by the authors immensely reassuring.

While the book provides valuable insights and practical strategies for healing, I wished for more concrete advice on navigating day-to-day interactions with narcissistic individuals. Despite this, the accessible writing style and engaging narratives make it a worthwhile read for anyone seeking to understand and overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse in their lives. Overall, "You're Not the Problem" serves as a beacon of hope and understanding for those on the path to healing.

Thank You Netgalley for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest review!

Like other books related to trauma or mental health, this one took some time to go through. I have previously read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I think this book is for much of the same audience, except that I liked this more. I appreciated that there were so many journaling activities, and that this book actually explained what people mean when talking about "reparenting the inner child." I also just appreciated that this book so clearly spoke to the self-gaslighting that I often do. This book is a great resource for many people.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette for this ARC.

I was very surprised at the range of examples of behavior. You could really apply it to other relationships you have. Siblings, friends, employers, associates, etc. to see which relationships are toxic and how to create boundaries to make your life more healthy. Very positive reading!

Thank you to netgalkey and the publisher for the ARC!

I am a big fan of self help and education myself on how people work and develop. This addresses narcissistic behavior but I think people will be surprised to learn how applicable this is. If you’re in therapy this may be a good way to understand past relationships

Loved this one! Oh my, I loved this one so much!
It was such a validating read! Validating and healing at the same time.
Did you grow up with a narcissistic parent? Must read!
Did you live with someone who is a narcissist? Must read!
Seriously, this one is next level read on the subject.

A must-read for all children of narcissistic parents. Complete with examples of real-life situations that hit terribly close to home, and clear explanations of psychological theory and clinical experience. 10/10 would recommend.

Helpful book with concrete examples. I started with "How They F*k You Up" - wow, that Venn diagram is illuminating! "You're Not the Problem" is a helpful reference. I feel really seen by this book!

A helpful overview not only of what narcissism is, but also the toll it takes on other people and how to understand the cyclical nature of narcissistic relationships.

This book has been incredibly helpful in understanding my relationship with one of my parents. It's been suggested by a couple of my mental health providers that this person has some kind of a personality disorder (either BPD or NPD) and while they can't be diagnosed without visiting a provider themselves, learning more about these disorders helps me to understand not only that person, but other people in my life and to be able to recognize other's behavior as something that is NOT a reflection of myself. I really enjoyed the writing in this text--it was approachable and easy for me to follow. I would definitely recommend this book to others. It's very useful and insightful.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!
3.5 out of 5 stars.

"You're Not the Problem" by Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna offers valuable insights into navigating life with narcissistic parents, in addition to brief coverage of narcissistic romantic relationships. Despite practical exercises and relatable anecdotes, the book's repetitive diction and storytelling give it the feel of a college dissertation rather than a dynamic self-help guide. The primary focus on parental relationships left me with a desire for a more comprehensive exploration of narcissistic relationships in general. However, the inclusion of real-life experiences, like that of Rebecca, established a relatable connection.

Despite a few drawbacks, the book's exercises stand out as practical tools for self-reflection and healing, making it a resource worth revisiting. The methods mentioned, such as the "Gray Rock Method," add depth to the content, yet there is a lack of notable guidance on their application in everyday life, beyond restating the mantra "you are not the problem." While this may not be the roadmap to healing I expected per the description, "You're Not the Problem" earns a 3.5 out of 5 stars. The book's strength lies in its exercises and relatable stories, offering a valuable resource for individuals dealing with narcissistic parents.

Thank you NetGalley and Hachette Books for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I really don't have much to say except that I have read a LOT of books on childhood trauma and narcissistic parents... and this is one of the better ones out there. Definitely worth the read. However, it did miss some of the ways that older children and adults can be living with these trauma responses. Not all children or narcissistic parents are docile people pleasers.