THE DIVORCE
BY: MOA HERNGREN

I would like to say a huge thank you to the Publisher, HarperVia, for making this very realistic, spectacular story about the end of a marriage of thirty-two years available for the English speaking demographic. What initially attracted me to want to read about a heavy, and sad story about Bea and Niklas, who are both in their fifties experiencing a disintegrating marriage was that it is a Swedish translation. I have always loved to read Scandinavian novels, and when I saw that the title was called, The Divorce taking place in Stockholm, Sweden I requested my ARC from Net Galley, and was so grateful for the chance to read a domestic family drama. A subject such as divorce taking place, isn't my normal topic, but I've read three novels in the last couple of months where I wasn't sure whether or not it would actually happen. I do like literary fiction with contemporary realism of long term relationships, and this was both cleverly written and translated. It gave me a glimpse into a foreign culture with a chance to see if the reasons for a divorce potentially happening, or not in a different culture are universal.

I have one more about a long term marriage which I chose only because I had some familiar experience a couple of decades ago with the author. I would love to have the honor and privilege of reading more of this talented author's other work, so I will definitely keep looking, to see if there are other previous work by this author is available, since the writing in this one is well above average. I must also applaud the translator who did such an excellent job in my positive reading experience by seamlessly making this so accessible and smooth.

There are usually two sides to every story I believe. This philosophy is carefully explored in the brilliant underscoring of the structured focus this talented author has illuminated into this story. I personally believe in not tossing by the wayside a long history of a lifetime of experiences with someone who you have built a life with, and share the wonders of having both brought children into this world with. I would much rather know that every possible avenue has been examined to not break apart a family. I know that the way that I have more understanding towards Niklas's actions makes me sound like I'm an advocate for choosing divorce, rather than trying to fix what went wrong in the marriage. I would want to choose to save the marriage and keep the family in tact all day long.
What if your spouse has been unfairly giving in to keep the peace and hasn't given you any indication that they are considering divorce, and you are not able to convince your partner to change their mind?
I really and sincerely believe that I took my marriage vows seriously, and believe that I would be willing to correct any behavior that contributed to my spouse being so unhappy that there's no changing my partner's mind. Just because I think that I believed in those vows that go something like: For better or worse, or in good times and bad times, doesn't guarantee that my spouse feels the same way. Why I love this novel so much is because it holds up the mirror to how life isn't always fair. What if you're not someone who is a quitter, but your spouse has slowly given up on growing old together, and doesn't share the same strong feelings about marriage being a life long commitment? What do you do if your spouse has not communicated to you how unhappy they are and blindsides you by simply walking out the door, and makes the decision to pursue happiness by ending the marriage?
The decision is beyond your control since usually the one who makes the decision to give up, has most likely already emotionally abandoned your union before leaving physically. I know that from having dated and being involved in long term relationships before I got married that has been the same length of time as the couple featured in this novel, coincidentally. That it takes two people who share common values, core beliefs, such as honesty, communication, and common interests that make my marriage get stronger with each passing year. It takes liking your spouse and before even considering marriage taking the time to get to know each other to learn whether or not both people are compatible. It takes both people willing to compromise, and both people willing to make sacrifices towards the differences that arise. Both people must be two whole people, who are more comfortable with being alone rather than one or both people needing the relationship to complete them. Getting involved for the right reasons in the first place, unlike Bea and Niklas in my opinion are what has made my marriage thrive, and never taking each other for granted which Bea did.

Is the person who decides to end a marriage by making a unilateral decision at fault?

As sad as it is my opinion has changed regarding divorce, after reading this. I think that if you took a vow when getting married, that two people owe it to each other to try to make divorce a last resort especially if there are under aged children involved, unless there is abuse involved. It's got to be hard and extremely painful for the person being left. My heart sympathized with Bea wanting to fix and repair her marriage with Niklas. I won't give spoilers totally ruining it for those who are considering reading this, but there is a tragic event that happens that is the catalyst for the two of them getting romantically involved. They both got together from the beginning that was not a healthy reason to build a foundation for their choice of picking a compatible partner, regardless of good intentions that the author slowly reveals. Also, anybody has the right to terminate a relationship if they're unhappy, and there are never any guarantees that just because you have been together for years, whether dating, or in a committed long term relationship, or married that both persons remain if they aren't happy. It would be more honorable if you have heard your partner complain about what you're doing that are contributing reasons why they are unhappy and they warn you that they will leave if things don't improve.

The way this book is written, it begins from Bea's, point of view and I felt really bad for her until I reached the section from Niklas's point of view and my allegiance changed towards understanding why he handled things the way he did. I felt sorry for him for putting up with her dismissive attitude for as long as he did. She definitely was verbally abusive and always had to have things her way. I went back to the beginning and I reread about 10 percent and I don't know how I totally missed her undermining him constantly. She had criticized him within the first few pages and she made demands instead of communicating by building bridges between them towards compromise. He worked hard and long hours towards getting out of deeper debt to support her luxurious lifestyle as a doctor at a job that he no longer enjoyed. When she was inconvenienced because he forgot to book the passage tickets for the ferry, to go visit his parents, who were her in-laws to be pampered by them at their beach property she was full of anger and contempt.

The more that I read, I could see how they got to the place of him making the decision he did for a multitude of reasons. He was too miserable to continue living just to please her and his parents. He could never go running after a long shift at work which was overwhelming because of a staffing shortage. As a doctor, his job was already highly stressful, with his having to make choices that his patients lives or death were at stake, and he took that responsibility seriously. He would need to spend a quiet evening at home, or take a break from spending every summer vacation at his parents fixing things around their home, but Bea ignored his needs. Additionally, his mother would keep him working by expecting him to give free doctor services to the whole community, while he needed a vacation to rest and relax. He never got to decide whether they went on a vacation someplace different, Bea would talk him out of it, because she preferred visiting his parents where she would benefit and she would justify it by saying their sixteen year old twins would miss out from visiting with their cousins. Whenever he wanted to unwind, and decompress after going through a tough day at work, Bea would insist that they go out and celebrate a special occasion. He would tell her he needed a quiet evening at home, she wouldn't ever compromise which led to him catering to Bea's plans. She wouldn't take responsibility for running him ragged with things she wanted him to do that was for her benefit, planning all his free time with obligations that satisfied her desire. After seeing his never getting a break without constant guilt trips from her manipulations I could see why he handled things the way he did. I did empathize with her, but their sixteen year old twins were affected by her crossing boundaries. We think because our children seem quiet and content, when in reality they suffer silently, from taking in everything that goes on in their surroundings. He was under a tremendous amount of stress from his job and her unwillingness to see how her anger and blaming him led to him needing a break.

It was fair that this author presented this couples predicament from both Bea's and Niklas's point of view, which gave an evenhanded account by including both sides of the story.
After reading this, I think that if it's always the same spouse making all of the sacrifices, and only one of the two partners aren't curious about the other's feelings by trying to gain each others perspective over three decades, it's inevitable that the one always doing the giving is going to reach a point where they might want to choose to finally make a change to not keep being taking advantage of. There is hope to be found within this story. I think that this novel would be an excellent choice for book clubs to discuss. I loved it, even though it's at times hard to read. It was compelling and one I won't soon forget.

Publication Date: August 6, 2024

Thank you to Net Galley, Moa Herngren and HarperVia Publishing for generously providing me with my wonderful ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

#TheDivorce #MoaHerngren #HarperViaPublishing #NetGalley

Thank you NetGalley and Harpervia for an early copy of The Divorce. This was a WOW book!!! I felt for both of them, intense feelings I had. It was written really well and truthful invoking emotions that have been long buried. I can see both of their points but seeing the marriage unravel was at times very sad. This book will stay with me for a long time, a bit of a reality that can happen to any marriage and surrounding family.

I really enjoyed this book. It kept me engaged and it only took a few days to read. I think this is going to be a good book club option for several clubs. I plan recommending to my book friends and I look forward to reading more by this author.

I enjoyed the duel points of view in this book, it's true that there's two sides to every story and this one did a nice job of showing that. Although the story was a bit depressing, it was OK given the theme/storyline of the book - a divorce shouldn't be a happy read. Very interesting and would recommend.

Bea and Niklas have been togehter for over thirty years. Bea was looking forward to her family's summer vacation, but Niklas forgot to pay for the tickets. Much to Bea's surprise, Niklas does not come home and eventually asks for a separation. I appreciated the stucture of this book, first telling Bea's side of the story, then Niklas's. The third section alternates between the two. The author did a good job showing both perspectives and developing the charachters. I was frustrated with both Bea and Niklas at different points in the book, but it led to a better understanding of them.

Moa Herngren's novel is a lovely story about, well, divorce. Herngren explores the divorce through Bea and Niklas, a couple facing separation after decades together. While Bea grapples with the suddenness of Niklas's desire to end their marriage, his chapters reveal a simmering disconnect he's felt for years. Herngren crafts alternating perspectives that allow us to understand both characters' viewpoints without taking sides. I found myself invested in both Bea and Niklas, appreciating their complexities and flaws.

I loved a lot about this book. The Swedish backdrop made me want to plan a vacation. The family dynamics were well done, feeling both realistic and complex. A recommended read with captivating characters!

WOW what a story.

This truly makes you think about life in general and just how fast things can turn around. This story is heartbreaking when you read it.

The empathy i felt for both sides. The author did great making you feel like you were right in the story while reading git.

Everyone should read this book.

Thanks NetGalley for letting me read and review.

Thank you HarperVia and NetGalley for the opportunity to review the English translation of this book!

This is a heartbreaking and thought provoking story of a marriage dissolving over a hot summer. I felt empathy for both partners as they navigated their marriage falling apart after so many decades. The author did a great job layering the range of emotions one feels when trying to find themselves after so many years.

I would definitely recommend this book to my followers.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC.

I am so honored and happy to be given books such as The Divorce to review.

I found this story to be an interesting read. A couple breaks up after more than 30 years of marriage. Initially the break-up seems to be the typical story of a man reaching middle age, seeking a change - for seemingly selfish reasons. What makes this book stand out is that we are able to view the situation from BOTH sides, the husband and the wife the husband left behind - as with most stories, things are much more complex than they originally seem.

I found it a fascinating and unique story, well-written, honest, fair and utterly believable.

Also, you see how the dissolution of the marriage impacts the children (two daughters in this case).

Add in other multi-layered reasons the husband is vulnerable to manipulation and guilt, and this is quite a fascinating dissection of the termination of a marriage that withstood the passing of many years - to a point where it was no longer sustainable.

This book deeply resonated with me through its genuine portrayal of divorce. I admired how the author presented the story from both perspectives, creating a captivating narrative. While readers may empathize more with Bea's character, there are instances where the growing disconnect between the husband and wife is palpable, especially when Bea fails to truly listen to her husband. A truly compelling read!

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of The Divorce.

I read mostly suspense and thrillers, and the premise had a suspense-y premise which is why I requested it.

I'm glad my request was approved because this turned out to be a thoughtful read, very different from what I usually read.

Bea and Niklas have been married for 32 years, which is why it comes as a surprise when he disappears after an unimportant issue. But, this is just the beginning of the end of their marriage, which comes as a shock to Bea.

Told in both Bea and Niklas' perspectives, we see how each of them cope with the end of their marriage; how it came to this stage, and the detritus and emotional chaos that ensues after you've spent most of your life with one person and built a life and children with them.

The Divorce reminded me an article I read recently that revealed many divorces occurring now are with couples in their 50s and 60s. These divorces are called the Golden Divorce. People are realizing there's no reason to stay in a loveless marriage and since our life spans have increased, its possible to still find love in your golden years.

I liked how the author gives us both perspectives, especially Niklas. Usually, the men are made out to be the bad guys; they cheat, they hook up with younger women, all the cliches, but I liked seeing how Niklas' outlook and frame of mind altered.

He was unhappy with his job, all the demands made on his life and time from family and work obligations. Wasn't there something more to life?

He needed a change. And he fell out of love with his wife because he changed.

He received a lot of flak from disrupting the status quo but Niklas had a point; why should he be unhappy for the sake of keeping his family together?

I found Bea insufferable. All she cared about was her fancy schmancy kitchen and everything remaining the same; her family, not learning how to drive, depending on her husband for everything.

In a way, I get it; her beloved brother is dead, her own family is toxic, and she glommed onto Niklas' family because they were happy and whole, completely unlike her own family.

But, Bea had no identity; she was Niklas' wife and mother to her twins. She didn't do anything, I didn't know anything about her except how she worshipped her brother, didn't finish school because she got pregnant, and worked at a non-profit. She didn't have any friends, no skills or talents of her own.

Divorces happen, and it's not a bad thing.

In the end, everyone has crafted a new life and even Bea has learned to adapt to her new life and routine. That's all anyone can do.

This book! What do I say? There is so much to unpack. Let’s start by saying there is a reason that most books are romantic comedies that follow a couple falling in love. It’s a fairy tale. It’s fun to read. This book is not a fairy tale and it’s hearty wrenching. Its about an unraveling of two lives and falling out of love. It is brutal and hard to read. I identified so much with Bea. I think a lot of people will be able to empathize with this character. She thinks she is in a normal happy stable marriage and then boom her life explodes. Niklas doesn’t even give her the curtesy of communicating or explaining his feelings. He literally just leaves.

She is supposed to go on vacation and seemingly out of no where her husband decides to go stay at a friends “to think”. Bea is so confused and wants to fight for her Marriage. The advice she gets from friends and family is to work it out. Stay. Go to counseling. Fight. Don’t give up. The problem is the situation is not in her control. As I’m reading this I’m reliving a very similar situation where my partner walked out on me and made me feel exactly like Bea. Like my world collapsed. As Bea is processing the situation her thoughts were so similar to mine in that situation.

I think a lot of people will be able to empathize with this character. I couldn’t put this book down I knew that the perspective of this book would change to Nikolas’s character and I just wanted to punch him in the face. I kept thinking you have a lot of explaining to do.

I thought this book was very good. I recommend it for anyone that has gone through a heart break.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book to read and review. My opinions and thoughts are mine alone.

summary: so this book features a married couple before, during, and after a particularly gruesome divorce. the pov switches between niklas, the husband and bea the wife.

footnotes: there are also two daughters, and grandparents in the story. the whole book is split up into sections, so you truly get to hear everyone's thoughts and perspectives. there is also a fair but of cussing in this book, so please be mindful

thoughts: i though the idea of this book was really interesting, taking a divorce and showing it from either side. you really get to see the events from both characters sides. this makes the plot so much more interesting, and helped me fly through the book. bea and niklas truly felt real to me, and i could feel the emotions of every character. i think this book would be perfect for a new adult, as it really encourages you to think from multiple perspectives. i really enjoyed reading this book, and i would 100% recommend it,

my only issue was the ending being really rushed and not fully explained. other than that, i enjoyed every moment of this book.

I really enjoyed reading this book, it had everything that I was hoping for from the description. I enjoyed how the characters were written and how they worked in this story. The plot was what I was hoping for and enjoyed the overall feel of the story. Moa Herngren has a great writing style and I hope to read more from Moa Herngren.

Beatrice, also known as Bea, couldn't be more thrilled to escape the suffocating heat of Stockholm and retreat to the serene Gotland Island for a vacation. She eagerly looks forward to spending quality time with her devoted husband of thirty-two years, Niklas, and their occasionally moody teenage daughters. It's a chance for Bea to recover from the stresses of daily life while enjoying the company of her beloved in-laws. However, just before their departure, Bea and Niklas engage in a seemingly trivial argument which leaves Niklas feeling frustrated. In an attempt to blow off some steam, he heads out with a friend. Little does Bea know, her life is about to take an unexpected turn. While her pediatrician husband, known for his kindness and gentleness, appears physically unharmed, their marriage is on the brink of collapse. In Niklas' perspective, however, his decision to leave is not an act of sudden insanity, but rather a deeply considered choice.

Through this gripping tale told from two different viewpoints, The Divorce poses thought-provoking questions: Is the person who chooses to leave always the villain? What lies beneath the surface of seemingly straightforward situations? Prepare to be captivated by this domestic drama that skillfully explores the intricacies of modern marriage. While reading this book, I found it intriguing, although it did have some slower moments. I had hoped for more development of the supporting characters, as this would have added additional layers to the captivating subplots. Nonetheless, it proved to be a satisfying read that kept me engaged until the very end. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.

Gorgeously written domestic drama with very well done characters! I’m shocked this author hasn’t been translated before and hyped for the next one !

I am a firm believer that you give a book a 75 page chance to grab you … this book just got slower and slower with each page read… sorry but it just took too long to get going… belittle to slow for my taste..

Thank you NetGalley for giving me the chance to read this book ahead of time in exchange for a review. It didn't disappoint! Must read!!

Loved this novel, such an interesting look at point of view and character and so many surprises along the way. Wonderful to have this addition to translated work by women!

Reading books about divorce as a married woman is something scary, in my opinion. But also necessary. I don't think this story entertained me, but I felt it was important to read to understand both points of view. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.