The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Raina Cohen discussed in depth something I've been thinking about for a while and I was thrilled to find her book exploring this idea.

Humanity has been forming families in many different ways throughout time - according to the needs of their era, location, number and requirements of resource management within the values of their cultures. In my own life there have been many more models (successful!) than two birth parents and resulting children. Depending on lives and deaths, there have been aunts and/or uncles raising whatever extended family children were orphaned, abandoned or kicked-out. There have been grandparents, second cousins and long losts of all sorts needing and accepting parental roles throughout history. Brothers and sisters have been life-long partners, and best friends have also forged life-long partnerships. This isn't new. But it is time that our western culture carve out a legal space for individuals outside the man-woman-bio kid model assumed (and so required in order to be covered) by most of our legal systems.

Kudos to the author for beginning the conversation, getting it out there for people to think about in a different way - whatever raises humans up in love, safety, respecting the rights, liberties and equal standings of ALL others is what is needed. It's a start we've needed for a long time.

*A sincere thank you to Rhaina Cohen, Macmillan Audio, and NetGalley for an ARC to read and independently review.*

4.75ish stars

This was an interesting, thoughtful, and well-written book. I thought the premise was intriguing when I initially requested it, and I wasn’t disappointed with the book itself. The writer does a great job of exploring the depths and nuances of different types of friendships and other meaningful relationships that aren’t romantic in nature, and she does so by considering a diverse range of people, situations, and circumstances. Some of the information discussed wasn’t necessarily new, but it was all presented and woven together into a cohesive narrative that I thoroughly enjoyed, and it did give me a lot to consider. I think other people could also similarly enjoy this book and will be recommending it to a few people in my life.

Shocking and familiar at the same time, this audiobook felt deeply personal and gave me hope for my own future. I don't prioritize dating these days because I am so content and happy with the friendships and platonic connections I already have, but of course sometimes romantic loneliness sneaks up on me and I feel an unsettling, encompassing fear that I will "end up" alone. This audiobook put those fears to rest. Through real life accounts of platonic life partners, Rhaina Cohen shows us how meaningful and fulfilling (and at times life saving) friendship can be. My one concern before starting this book was whether the "best friends who were roommates until death" stories would be recounted in a way that erased queer identities, but Cohen interviewed folks spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality, and treated their stories with reverence. It so easy to think of having a "best best friend" as something childish, but I really loved the stories of best friends who continued to priortize each other and own homes together and rasie kids together well into old age. Friendship is so so integral to human life and yet there is not nearly as much emphasis on the importance of friendship than other institutions like marriage, nor is there many legal or academic precedents regarding platonic life partners; Cohen's aim was to raise awareness of this lack of protection and I think she succeeded. Definitely an approachable and relatable read if you want to dabble in nonfiction; I would recommend this to anyone who hurts more after friendship breakups than romantic breakups. Or anyone who doesnt want to be scared of "ending up" alone. You aren't alone💛

(Thank you to @netgalley, @rhainacohen and @macmillan.audio for sending me the audiobook to review. All thoughts are my own.)

As someone who has long been fascinated by both marriage and friendship, the premise of this sounded like something I would absolutely love. And while Cohen shared plenty of interesting individual stories, I didn't find much of it to be new or profound. Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow's book, Big Friendship, was one of the first books of this kind (and I enjoyed it much more). If this is your first time reading something about centering friendship, rather than only romantic relationships, this might be new and fresh for you. (But I also found the interviews with Cohen to be more than efficient at gleaming her main thesis, and a lot less of a time commitment.) I did enjoy Cohen's narration and would pick up another book by her in the future.

I absolutely loved this book! As someone on the hunt for more books about friendship, I found this one hit the mark. The importance of friendship in life satisfaction and social health cannot be underestimated, and this book is the perfect answer and introduction to the topic.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

yes! friends as soulmates! love this concept and the book was great. i bought a copy for all my besties.

I honestly feel like this whole book was just to justify the way people live and it’s kind of frustrating. I understand the legal side of it can be frustrating but it felt like that was such a small portion of the book. Majority of it was just explaining that friends can be more of a significant other than a romantic partner. I’m too much of a “you do you and I’ll do me” type person I guess because I don’t quite understand why it’s such a big deal.

I enjoyed this book, but it wasn't fully what I expected.

I thought the narration was great. Since it was a non-fiction, it was very easy to listen to.

I enjoyed the book itself, and the content, but I almost felt like it could have been a TedTalk. It felt a little on the long side for the information that it contained. I found it to be more story telling about deep bonded friendships than anything else.

It was a nice read, but I didn't take as much out of it as I wanted to.

I absolutely believe in the importance of non romantic friendships and the importance of investing in these relationships. Given all that, I expected to absolutely love this book.

Unfortunately I did not. I instead found this one quite dry. The research and case studies just felt very obvious and not particularly interesting.

Again, I love the intent behind this book, but the execution left me wanting more.

Disclaimer I received a copy of this book from the publisher.

I love love loved listening to this book. Rhaina Cohen is a wonderful narrator, and the way she read this was incredibly engaging. Reading about the friendships Cohen presents made me reflect on my own friendships, and even start to see them in a different light. This book is going to be incredibly important to the people who read it.

Thank you NetGalley for allowing me to listen to this book. This book had a lot of information for me to ponder. The stories that she shared were interesting and thought-provoking. I will definitely look at relationships more broadly having read this book and will recommend it to others.

I really enjoyed this book! I like that it talked about non traditional families and made me realize that there are so many different ways people can live their lives in a fulfilling way. The typical “life” or “journey” would be to be married with kids, but this showed me to be less judgmental with people who live their lives in different ways. Your life is yours and you should do what makes you happy, even if it isn’t the standard way.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for a digital advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

What an interesting book! I generally like to listen to my non-fiction books before I buy them to decide if I will buy them or not. I will say, I will likely buy a physical copy of this when it comes out. There are parts and concepts I would love to revisit and ponder more.

Rhaina Cohen narrates her own book, which I always love. She brings a lot of insight both personally and from her journalistic endeavor to uncover the lives and complexities of folx who have "other significant others". I love that she takes time to explore the social, cultural, and historical influences that have shaped compulsory coupling, marriage, and non-marital relationships. I love deconstructing social and cultural beliefs. Toward the end I found the discussion about how this impacts law and politics to also be thought provoking. The personal is political.

Rhaina did such a good job gathering information and a variety of different examples to show how this phenomenon can look from many different angles. She handled difficult topics with great care.

Who it could be for?:
Anyone who feels alone in their big feelings for their best friends. Those who need validation in challenging the status quo of compulsory coupling. LGBTQIA+.

Who its not for?:
Socially conservative people. People who believe cis-het marriage is the only legitimate form of coupling or marriage.

This was not really what I thought it was. It was a fine book but was mainly about LGBTQ rights. I didn’t mind listening to the stories but a lot of the stories now don’t seem relevant as most of this has now changed. But I understand it’s important to be knowledgeable and make sure these rights are here for all.

This book was s sociological examination of relationships that AREN'T marriage. It was fascinating and honestly, a topic I have never thought about. We all have friendships, but sometimes these friendships are more meaningful than any other romantic relationships we may have. Cohen dives deep into these unconventional relationships and how society does them a disservice by not acknowledging them with the proper status, language, and legal privileges as those defined by marriage.

I was riveted by the various stories of specific relationships highlighted by Cohen and it opened my eyes to what partnership truly means.

This feels like such an important book for people to read, in thinking about the importance--and variety--of the different relationships in our lives. It gives credence to the idea that your romantic partner need not be everything for you, and probably shouldn't be.

The Other Significant Others takes an inside look at meaningful, platonic relationships and how they shape our lives. In recent years, the conversation around friendship has changed as study after study confirms that friends can literally save your life. People with meaningful relationships and enmeshed communities live longer than the rest of us. This book made me yearn for deeper friendships and emboldened me to seek more tangibly intentional relationships with the friends I already have. Cohen expertly blends personal history, narrative, and science as we meet all different kinds of friends and look the many ways friendship can enrich our lives. I really enjoyed the writing and narration of this book and found that it was neither too anecdotal nor riddled with science. Cohen strikes at the heart of the reader with her beautiful storytelling and her grasp of emotional language. A great read for someone who is looking to build a community for themselves.

I am so thankful to NetGalley for a free copy of the audio version of The Other Significant Others. It was a thoughtful, hopeful look at friendship and how it impacts our lives. There is so much focus in our culture on romantic relationships, and this book reminded me of the power of those "outside" relationships. This is a great read that will make you squeeze your besties a little tighter.

The narrator was easy to listen to and understand.
While I felt that this book was interesting, I felt it was extremely repetitive and that cause me to get tired of the book fast.
I was also surprised that it didn’t have the friendship power focus that I expected from the synopsis of the book and that she mentions at the end.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.

Rhaina Cohen’s book THE OTHER SIGNIFICANT OTHERS is an interesting review of significant non-romantic relationships. It explores all kinds of relationships and comments on how “best friendships” are not as socially accepted as they are personally valued and why that is.

I loved the stories, pop culture references and social science of the book. The author narrates and was a great fit for her own work.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an audiobook ARC.