This book is so important whether or not you have experience with spiritual anxiety. It explains things clearly and realistically and I really appreciate that. A lot of it was relatable and I learned about myself as well!

I really appreciated this read. I didn't really get the double meaning of the title at first glance, but as someone who has experienced my personal share or church trauma & is going through my own deconstruction journey, this book helped me not feel so alone in that journey. Tiffany Yecke Brooks, this was like a hug from someone who understands the struggle of still believing in God but no longer wanting to be around the church. I appreciated this more than I really know how to put into words at this time. This will be a book that I will need to revisit at different phases in my healing process, as healing isn't linear. I'm thankful for people like Brooks who have the conversations so few are willing to have.
Thank you to the the publisher, author and NetGalley for the arc in exchange for my review.

Dr. Brooks has shared a fascinating and thoughtful look at maintaining healthy boundaries and spiritual life. I recommend this book for readers who are processing hurt and spiritual leaders who want to improve their work.

If you have experienced spiritual anxiety or religious trauma, let this book be a balm to heal you.

In Holy Ghosted, author Tiffany Yecke Brooks addresses the spiritual fall out for millions of Christians who have experienced abuse at the hands of fellow believers. Each chapter explains a kind of spiritual abuse, and using both examples from scripture and personal stories from people she has interviewed, the author discusses ways the church has been known to harm people. She pinpoints seven different ways that abusers attempt to control other Christians.

Many books have been written for former Christians who are deconstructing and may not choose to remain part of the faith: this book is written from the lens of one who wishes to unpack trauma while still maintaining some belief. She uses a lot of scripture in the text, but reframes “clobber passages” in ways that vary widely from popular interpretation. I found most of these reframed scriptures very refreshing, though I cannot personally verify the alternative translation/interpretation.

The prose in this book was written quite well and it was a pleasure to read. I came to it out of personal interest, having also experienced spiritual trauma and being unsure where to safely land on the other side. Brooks’ response is grace-filled and appears to come from a genuine heart for the God of love. This is a progressive and inclusive work that will encourage people who have been traditionally excluded from Christian fellowship.

There are some very important ideas in this book, things that we need to be talking about more, although I think the "formalizing" of the experience by trying to give it a cute name ("IIL") may automatically distance some readers wrestling with these ideas from it. The last thing someone wrestling with spiritual anxiety in their life wants is another label, and yet...such is the way that we use language. We cannot ever seem to simply talk about a human experience without classifying it somehow. This is the problem, and we have made it part of the solution, which becomes no solution at all when it remains the problem.

I wonder, as I read, whether the author recognizes her own biases. She certainly names her own identifiers several times when it seems convenient to do so, but being able to name oneself is not the same as being able to identify oneself, and there are many points in the book at which she is just as guilty of the logical fallacies and other errors as she is calling out in others. For example, she will outright state some things as though they are facts, though they actually remain quite disputed or poorly defined in general conversation, but she wraps them in other things which are less disputed, hoping the reader will simply assume all of these things are alike. She actually calls out this very fallacy, but is she aware she is guilty of it herself? It is especially glaring at times when the work is not as strong as in other places. For example, late in the book, she cites the moral courage of a body of representatives from Wyoming in 1889 and declares that if a "secular" body can get this right, why can't the church? But what she fails to recognize is that 1889, Christianity was the overwhelming guiding compass for nearly everyone. We cannot say that a body of "politicians" in 1889 was any more secular than the church; in fact, we should say that it was the best of the church, as these men would have been elders in their community and known for their religious faithfulness. That's how America worked in 1889. But the false equivalency made a powerful point, didn't it?

The other thing I would say about this book is that it is, throughout, fairly repetitive. It gets onto an idea and drives it down forty different ways when a mere two or three would have sufficed. A little bit of strong editing could have cut probably a good fourth of the content without affecting the impact (and of course, good editing always makes a book stronger). Ideas do not become more true just because you pound on them extensively; either the point stands or it doesn't, which again, might suggest the author's attempt to use a power move of her own.

Don't be fooled - I actually liked the book. I appreciated it. It helped me to think about some things in a new way. It was a bit of a struggle for me at times because even though I came of age in what the author would likely describe as "White evangelicalism," I have had none of the experiences in church that she seems to imply are so common. Thus, it required me to shift gears early and to read primarily for an understanding of the experience of others, rather than something that might be (as suggested) fairly universal of the church. While I have known many churches who have struggled with these sorts of things, I also know many more churches who have not. And for that, I am thankful. (That is not to say these churches are getting everything right. The body is full of human beings, after all.)