I will preface this review by saying that fifteen years ago, I seriously considered a vocation as a Catholic nun. So it was with great anticipation that I picked up this audiobook hoping for equal parts “moving, inspirational story” and “juicy tell-all.”

Unfortunately, it was neither. There was barely any “story” here at all, probably because there were barely any stakes. I don’t mean to downplay the author’s experience, but I could never forget that she voluntarily signed up for this situation. So if there was some occasional “abuse” in the form of Mother (the head nun) withholding hugs, verbal affection, or acknowledgment of Sister Catherine in general, or if she was made to publicly apologize for something she wasn’t actually guilty of… I mean, I get that those are hardships, but what else is a life of chosen poverty, obedience, and chastity supposed to be about? Your faith is meant to be the thing that sustains you. And on that note…

Catherine came from a family of liberal atheists. They didn’t understand why she would want to join a convent. She only found Catholicism after her father died in her 20s, which means there could have been a ripe and compelling exploration of *why Catholicism* vs. any other faith system, and the specific types of questions or assumptions or assertions that a newer convert would have vs. a cradle Catholic… all of which went un-mined.

The first part of the book is almost boring. Descriptions of how the nuns spent their days (singing and doing chores), being constantly cold and hungry (you must forsake the body), the large number of feral cats that pissed all over Akonside. But never do we get into what I most wanted to know: How does a formerly secular person (or even a person who’s been spiritual their whole lives, for that matter) not miss music, TV, movies, and books? How do they never have sexual urges of any kind? What was it like, really, to be a human living under these artificial constraints and submitting to them day after day believing yourself to be God’s spouse? These are edge-of-your seat questions (for me). Instead of tackling them and offering insightful answers, though, all I’m left with are more questions.

Why, when the kind priest came to visit, didn’t Catherine ask for more time to think about her vows?
Why didn’t she ever go to another carmel to visit and see if the environment was more hospitable there? Especially since she’d visited a convent before entering Akonside that was completely different (no habits, colorful decor, etc.)
Why didn’t she ever stand up for herself inside? What, really, was the worst that could have happened?
Why do we never hear anything more about her dad? If that’s the reason she found God, and part of sequestering herself was to hide from her pain, why doesn’t it haunt her there? Why don’t we get more memories with him that would make Catherine feel like a fully-fleshed, and therefore more relatable, person?

I just wanted so much more from this story. That said, I truly hope wherever she is and whatever she’s doing now, she’s happy. It’s obvious she's a good person and deserves that much.

Thanks to the publisher for the ARC!

2.5 rounded up

There are pieces of Cloistered: My Years as a Nun that are so interesting. Yet...

It was almost hard to understand whether this was a religious history text or a personal story about experience as a nun because this book spent a lot of time talking about broad religious and Catholic-specific history. Of course, background and archival data is always helpful to provide clarity and context for a biographical story. Yet, my experience is that it feels as though information is shoe-horned into non-fiction stories because it is loosely related but doesn't actually provide much by way of story support. This felt like one of those instances. I actually find myself wondering if Coldstream's story, which was, in and of itself, very interesting and compelling, simply wasn't long enough to fill a traditional book and someone along the way decided history would be a useful "filler?" Whatever the reason, the extra information really dried out this story for me.

All of that to say, I’m just not sure that there is enough here to recommend this as a captivating non-fiction work. It seemed that I had to get through a lot of other text to get to the parts I found interesting.

If you have ever wondered what it might be like to commit to becoming a nun, this book is a front-row ticket to one woman's experiences. I personally found this very eye-opening as someone who was raised Christian but not Catholic and therefore knows next to nothing about nunhood.
I did feel that it was dragging a bit in the middle of the book, but other than that, I enjoyed it very much. I listened to the audiobook, and the narrator was pleasant. Overall, I would recommend this only if you have legitimate interest in the topic of becoming cloistered. Otherwise, you might find it to be a bit dull at points.

I am Gen X. Cynical is second nature. Even then, there are certain places where you just expect better. I'm used to encountering what a beloved former co-worker used to describe as "phony-baloney Christians, so unlike their Christ." To go through all of the trouble to join a religious order, though, and not a particularly indulgent one... aren't there are easier ways to become a powermonger? At some point, at some level, these women had to believe in the teachings of Teresa of Ávila and John of the Cross, didn't they? Apparently, the ministry et al. is an excellent career choice for sadists/psychopaths. Pity that poor young Catherine didn't know that.

To my family, I summarize Cloistered: My Years as a Nun thusly: me as a counselor at Na Wa Kwa, only with nuns instead of Girl Scouts. The one year I worked as a Girl Scout camp counselor, like Catherine Coldstream, I experienced extreme bullying for no discernable reason. I can draw parallel after parallel between our stories. Ironically, I was at Na Wa Kwa while she was at Akenside Priory. Those were what I consider the "bad old days" re bullying. The bullied were told to simply buck up and bear it. This was all still pre-Columbine, when the anti-bullying movement really began. I understand why it took her so long to write her memoirs. Even now, I will occasionally run into someone who used to terrorize me. They have no remorse, no shame. It was my fault. The word "obnoxious" gets used a lot. What does that word even mean?

I'll tell you what that word means: it means that you'd better run as if your life depends on it, because it does. Catherine Coldstream's story makes that clear. It's obvious that her mental health has never fully recovered; thank goodness her physical health has. I'm also glad that she has a good relationship with God. Many people who undergo that kind of abuse lose their faith. It's important that stories like Catherine Coldstream's are shared so that we can understand the realities of these "untouchable" institutions before others are hurt. Catherine Coldstream herself muses how many would-be sisters were distracted by the beauty of Akenside, overlooking warning signs of the rot that lay within. How many other former sisters have remained silent to their own abuse? At least two that I can think of from Cloistered: My Years as a Nun alone. Thank you, Catherine Coldstream, for bravely bearing witness. Thank you for protecting others.

I would like to thank Macmillan Audio for allowing me to experience this NetGalley audiobook.

This book was pretty good, I would definitely recommend

~This was given by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

Such a haunting but often matter of fact depiction of life in a habit. Growing up with movies like Sound of Music and Sister Act, there is something so romanticized and safe about that image. As with anything in life, even as a Christian myself, some ideals slip through the cracks and things get …. muddles. My heart breaks for the things we put so much trust and hope into only to be played a fool.

This is a powerful story not of a loss in faith but how people are simply people and sometimes we experience errors within one another. We learn what we need to grow out of and where our obedience truly lies.

A memoir of a life calling I've always wondered about, and so was engrossed in the author's telling of her experience. I was surprised at some of her later choices, but am pleased that she has written about her mixed bag of joys, sorrows and challenges while enjoying a life in the world, free from allowed domination imposed by a few who clearly had their own issues.

Another example of the wonder of books, and the opportunity to see and understand a point of view that would otherwise not known by this reader.

*A sincere thank you to Catherine Coldstream, Macmillan Audio, and NetGalley for an ARC to read and independently review.*

I love a memoir and this one seemed very interesting. It was interesting, and I enjoyed the author's narration. It told Catherine Coldstream's story of becoming a nun (and ultimately choosing a different path) but really, it was a tale of spirituality, sisterhood, coming-of-age, and exposing the truth behind the walls of the monastery. A truth that is not as virtuous as one would be led to believe.

Incredibly well-written.

Cloistered was a really interesting insight into what it is actually like to be a nun. It was raw, honest, and vulnerable.

I was excited about this book, however I did not finish this one. I found it interesting at first, but it also felt long and detailed. Not for me, and maybe I am not really the target audience, although I thought I would be from the book description.

I really enjoyed this audiobook! The performance was great, and the story was so enticing.

Sadly, I was not able to finish the audiobook, for some reason it disappeared from my netgalley over night! I was close to finishing, but based on what I was able to read I would say 3.5 - 4 stars!

This book is gorgeous, heartbreaking, and so incredibly powerful. On the surface it’s a story about faith and being a nun, but really it has so much more to do with humanity in all its forms.
I am not religious and especially not Catholic. This book caught my attention because of how different the author’s experience was to any of my own. My favorite kinds of memoirs are those that show me perspectives that are vastly different from anything I have or may experience. I think it’s fascinating that despite all of our differences as individuals there is so much that we can find in common with one another and so much we can learn about the world from each other. While I will never find myself converting to Catholicism let alone becoming a nun, I was able to connect deeply to the feelings of being lonely and lost in the world and seeking unconditional love and support. After seeing how the monasteries are supposed to function I completely understand someone making the decision to leave behind their trauma and dedicate their life to serving a power greater than themselves. Devoting your current life to a higher power and your next life and choosing to be part of a system that is so much greater than you must equally as freeing as it is confining. I wanted so badly for the author to find the peace she was looking for. But the ugly parts of humanity can still seep in through the cracks of this idealistic world. When you’ve let down all your guards because you were promised safety it’s so much harder to see the poison and almost impossible to fight against it.
I think the most shocking thing to me about this book was the author’s sense of optimism. Despite everything she had been through she still believes in herself and her faith. She has every right to be jaded and renounce the Catholic Church after everything she went through, but instead she still finds the strength to forgive and move on to a better life.
This book is so unique and worth a read no matter your stance on God, the afterlife, and Catholicism because in the end what you’ll take away from Catherine Coldstream’s story will have nothing to do with religion. If you enjoy audiobooks this one is very well done, it is read by the author and there are a few hymns mentioned that you have the pleasure of hearing her sing.

A very gripping memoir and really opens your eyes to the silence of the sisterhood and the inside of being a nun. The abuse of power just makes you sit and just shake your head.

It is amazing what happens inside the walls while being a nun and taking that oath.

Would recommend this to everyone. Very well written.

Thanks NetGalley for letting me read and review.

It is a good book that has the potential to leave you thinking about the value of oneself in today’s world. The inspection of the mind is a great thing to think about when it comes to relationships and religion. How many people can leave what you know behind and the comfort and peace that comes along with that for a different type of life and feelings when it comes being called to a higher power of the Great Physician.

I received an early audiobook to review and give my own personal opinion. I found this memoir to be exceptional. The narrator is also the author. She takes the listener into her journey recalling such detail and personal encounters. She was seeking the quiet. She was happy to have a room of her own! Painted white. To be alone in her thoughts. However her room also had black bars on the windows and a crucifix on the wall that depicted a bleeding Jesus hanging from the cross. She found the cross a bit much to look at every waking moment in her room.. she would soon find out she had to follow their routine and your time was belonged to the group, you all were awake at a certain time, ate breakfast, met for prayers, then daily chores, raking to keep the pond area free from leaves. Gardening was also essential because they only ate the food provided by the garden all year. They live their life in true poverty. She would take her vows following her calling. However, she couldn’t help but feel she was joining a cult. The order followed strict rules depending on which mother was in charge determined how strict the rules were. They were not allowed to show a personality no smiles or laughter. She would live with no color her clothes were first white, then brown. The only was she could distinguish her friend from everyone else was by looking at their shoes. Tensions were.too much to bare sometimes and fights would break out. The atmosphere made them physically and mentally sick but it was all ignored because there was no oversight to report the abuse to. You need to read it yourself to learn how she was able to write this book. I enjoyed and you will too. Thanks to the following for allowing me to review early. Available now. Go get your copy!
#NetGalley,
#MacmillanAudio,
#Catherine Coldstream,
#Cloistered
Publication Date: March 12, 2024

A fascinating and disturbing read. Initially, I was intrigued to learn about the inner workings of a convent and the everyday lives of nuns. I was astonished and appalled, however, as details of the various nuns’ personalities came to light. I must say, it’s difficult to remain optimistic about the future of humanity upon learning that there are Catholic nuns (yes, brides of Christ!) who are abusive, psychologically depraved, power hungry, and petty bullies. I was shocked and profoundly saddened by this book. Perhaps I shouldn’t have peeked behind the convent curtains.

Catherine Coldstream spent twelve years in a Carmelite monastery with twenty nuns of a silent order. She believed she was entrusting herself to God, but she finds that, spending decades away from the outside world, the order has become subject to the cult of personality and has only itself to answer to. As the honeymoon phase of her new life wears off, she shares the negative effects of the harm done when institutional flaws go acknowledged and unpunished.

I am fascinated by the lives of nuns, both in antiquity and in modern times. I guess because we are often not privy to the lives of women who spend their lives with other women and outside of society. Catherine’s journey in the order and her separation from it is told in a heartfelt and authentic voice. These communities are so far removed from the rest of us that we don’t often know much about them, let alone deeper insight into their communities. This was a fascinating account, and I was happy to learn that the author found her own form of happiness after a difficult time with her life and faith in the institution.

Cloistered by Catherine Coldstream was an interesting book to listen to. Ms. Coldstream did the reading of the audiobook, which made it seem more personal. The book details her journey into the Sisterhood of nuns, her time within the community, the events that led up to her departure, and her life after leaving the community. The book was interesting in that it shared an in-depth look at decisions and life within this type of closed-off community.

Overall Grade: B-
Narration and Writing: B-
Content and Depth of Story: B
Best Aspect: Some interseting stories and emotions from the author.
Worst Aspect: Too long and often I lost interest while listening too.

This is an honest account of Catherine Coldstream’s time in a monastery. Why did she decide to choose this life? And why did she choose to leave?

This story just proves that politics are in everything, along with jealousy. People are human, even nuns. And even nuns make bad choices and poor decisions. And power definitely plays an intricate part of these decisions. I am sure writing this memoir was very cathartic for the author.

This is a bit slow in places but I enjoyed learning what nuns went through and about their daily lives.

I love a book that is narrated by the author. It just makes it so real. Catherine did a fabulous job telling her story.

Need a unique memoir…THIS IS IT! Grab your copy today.

I received this memoir from the publisher for a honest review.