Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Aoileann, a young woman living in an Irish island with her grandmother and the silent, bed-bound mother she doesn’t know, struggles with her monotonous life, filled with secrecy and resentment. Until a mainlander and her newborn baby appear, and show her a different side of mother/child relationships that Aoileann is desperate for, and will do anything to claim for herself.

I went in expecting to love this book, mostly because of the badass Erewhon Books cover, but it just wasn’t my thing. The overall atmosphere is so oppressive, it seeps out of the writing. The settings are harsh and bleak, the characters ugly and cruel. Aoileann’s mother is described in detail, as is the routine of caring for her, and I mean, her body, the bathing, the taking her to the loo and changing her diaper - everything was so vividly portrayed, I do not recommend reading while you’re eating. There were also things done to people that made me squirm.

And I mean, this is a credit to the author, really! I don’t think this makes it a bad book; it’s just that it was too much for me.

It was definitely an interesting exploration of the uglier side of motherhood, of the pressure on women to not only have children but to love every part of the journey, to ignore every bad feeling; of society’s quickness to judge and condemn instead of offering help; of feeling Othered in your community and even your family; of how “evil” can be made.

This book was devastatingly horrific. This is a compliment. I have not been this enthralled and horrified by a book. It is no wonder that this book has a Shirley Jackson award.

I am so very disturbed.

Well done Sophie White. I'm adding more of your books to my TBR.

At night, my mother creaks. The house creaks along with her.

This was very creepy and atmospheric. I really enjoyed it. I would highly recommend it to horror lovers everywhere.

I wanted to like this more than I did - it was so very disturbing. I usually don't mind a disturbing book but the abuse in this as well the assault she commits on one of the characters was just too much for me. I very nearly DNF'd it due to disturbing nature.

WOW. just wow. I stumbled upon another review of this one and just HAD to get my hands on an advance copy (thanks, NetGalley!) - and it didn’t disappoint. The first 30% I truly wondered if I would be able to make it to the end- if I was smart enough to read this book. But the reviews are right. Stick with it and after the first 100pages this book FLEW. The ending is not at all what I expected and I truly was horrified 🤣

This book is not for everyone, but is sure is for someone!

This is a dark, devastating, and disturbing look at how isolated communities that are ruled by superstition can cause generational trauma. It is an unblinking look into how withholding love, attention, education, societal bonds, and simple kindness can create the monsters we all fear. It is also a book that I really enjoyed but I am not sure I want to see those things again.

I feel very proud to share a country with Sophie White, whos writing spans from popular fiction, to memoir and more 'high brow' ' literary' events such as this one. Her inimitable writing transcends snobbery and genre divisions, producing a delightful, inviting prose which can shock and surprise with the depth of its horror.

Did it like this book? It was enthralling, highly atmospheric and deeply, deeply disturbing. 
I like books that jar me out of complacency.
This novel is rife with trigger warnings. While I’m not particularly fond of body horror, its inclusion in this book was not gratuitous. Instead, the descriptions served to enhance the theme, atmosphere, and characterization.
So, what is this gothic horror novel about?
Aoileann is a teenage girl who is trapped. She’s trapped on a remote island with her catatonic mother and her abusive grandmother. Aoileann’s entire life centres around the care of her mother, and this obligation has turned to hatred (often referring to her mother as "the bed thing". 
The hatred is caused, in part, by a family secret…what caused her mother’s state? Both her father and her grandmother refuse to give answers.
Desperate for love, familial or otherwise, Aoileann is drawn to a newcomer, Rachel, a young mother who has arrived as an artist in residence. Aoileann’s desperation for love and companionship drives her to do almost anything for attention. Soon, she begins to resent the time and attention Rachrel has towards her newborn. 
Written in the first person, the reader is privy to an uncensored reading of Aoileann’s true thoughts, making her a very creepy, unsympathetic character. 
This is in no way a happy book. I needed to hug a puppy after reading it. 
The author, in her forward, shares her inspiration for this story. 
So, did I like this book? I have been thinking about it on and off since I read it, a sure sign that I found it impactful. 
This novel lends itself to high school (stress on HIGH SCHOOL) discussion on genre, theme, definitely atmosphere and the impact of first person point of view.
Thank you to Erewhon Books and NetGalley for the copy.

This read was a miserable experience! (It was designed that way. Mission accomplished!) I had to conquer it in small doses so that my whole day wouldn't be ruined. Mostly because this was an incredibly dark book, with stuff that was very tough to witness. There were numerous scenes of unflinching cruelty that really WENT there, sandwiched between surprising moments of dread that built upon each other with no relief.

Early on in the story, there's a gradual reveal of little pieces of information, like horrific clues to a bigger mystery. It's very well done. The author never gives us too much at once. It makes you want to keep reading despite the awful atmosphere, just to find out what's going on. I could never fully get a handle on the main character that was narrating the story, Aoileann. She has a curiosity and a desire for answers, but at the same time there are terrible aspects of her personality that make her the opposite of sympathetic. (Trying to avoid spoilers, as I think the best way to go into this is with as little plot detail as possible while still prepared for what you're getting yourself into.) 

What you should know is the basic gist, that Aoileann is stuck at home "caring" for her bedbound mother that she thinks of as less than human, as she refers to her as "The Bedthing" and treats as such. The descriptions of the feeding and cleaning process are honestly revolting, and Aoileann feels nothing but hatred and contempt. But we don't know the whole story, and as the reader we wonder who we should feel sorry for. The mother? Aoileann? Are there any decent people on this island? And then the story gets way more upsetting from there.

There is very gross imagery throughout this book. It reminded me of the close-up insert shots in a Nickelodeon children’s cartoon where things are suddenly way too detailed and uncomfortable and you don’t want to look at it anymore. (DO NOT EAT WHILE READING THIS.)

I was hoping for more of a big shocking reveal at the end, and there was a small subplot detail or two that I felt were left somewhat unresolved. There was also sort of a mental health aspect that didn't sit well with me, but maybe that was the point? (Women who need actual help being punished and tortured instead, etc.)

I hate the current tendency to compare every book to another book, but I really do get the Ottessa Moshfegh vibes from this one, honestly. (And that's a good thing!) It kind of felt like “Lapvona” but more modern. Absolutely dreadful and gross and upsetting. 

Would I recommend this book? Only to those of us who seek out stuff like online lists of "The most disturbing movies or books ever" and then make a note of the ones we haven't gotten to yet. People that are strangely pulled towards art that makes you suffer a little bit. This is for you! I saw that the author, Sophie White, has also written Romance and Comedy Fiction and that is WILD to me. Honestly, props for such a diverse writing ability.

Thank you to Netgalley and to the Publisher for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own.

TW:  Lots! The biggest ones would be *harm to babies*, torture, mistreatment of the disabled, bodily fluids/substances, references to sexual assault

Um, family horror? Sign me up! White's voice is devastating, and the she does such a great job exploring themes of isolation, oppression, and loneliness. A disturbing yet interesting read.

Where I End is a suffocating story of being trapped on an island, surrounded by people who hate you-including your family, and bottomless hopeless, rage. I feel as if I must be missing some cultural context, as I can't figure out why Aoileann is treated so poorly by her family and towns people. She was ostensibly the victim of her mother's mental illness, and at 6 weeks old incapable of being the mastermind behind her twins death. The only conclusion I can draw is that, perhaps, due to the forced isolation of her grandmother's home, the distant familial relationships, and the strain of caring for an ill mother she has to pretend doesn't exist, she was a weird kid that the islanders just felt uncomfortable around? It doesn't explain the terror characters exhibit when Aoileann approaches babies though. Either way, it becomes clear that she has not escaped the mental issues her maternal grandmother and mother labor under, which clearly would only be exacerbated by her treatment and isolation. The slow descent into psychosis brought on by Rachel, both an object of sexual desire and a symbolic mother figure is eerie and unsettling, while the physical abuse of the two most vulnerable characters at the habds of Aoileann provokes a visceral response of disgust and horror.

I was really excited for this book and while it was atmospheric and full of dread it was kind of slow.

I tried to get into this one, but I really struggled with the dialogue in the beginning. I am still really thankful to Kensington Books, Sophie White, and Netgalley for granting me advanced digital access to this one before September 24, 2024.

Aoileann has only ever really known a life of taking care of her mother, who is severely disabled... but also sometimes escapes in th middle of the night to make cryptic scratches on the floor. This would take a toll on anyone and, when Aoileann meets an artist new to the island, she is happy to ignore her responsibilities to spend more time with the artist. While I understand this is a horror book, it mostly just comes off as cruel for the sake of being cruel. The description of the "horror" elements of the mother being creepy was somewhat flat where it could have really been built up to enhance tension the reader felt. The conclusion to the psychological trauma the family was experiencing was left mostly to the end and felt kind of abrupt. I enjoyed reading it, the writing was good and the Irish elements were cool to learn about, but I think different pacing, especially at the end quarter, could have turned it it from a story I found interesting to a book I liked.

It's hard to write a review for this book in words when my actual reaction was an extended full body shudder paired with a sort of "eugh-ugghgh" gurgling noise upon finishing it and then, periodically afterward, whenever I thought about it. There are a lot of notes and acknowledgements in the back here and I tend to temper my expectations of pacing based on how much of the book is left, so it was startling when this ended sooner than I expected it to, because I was like "oh, huh" and then the full horror of it all hit me and I was like ohhhh my god.

There is so much visceral body horror in this book that you can't help but feel it; more than once it literally made my skin crawl. It is so dark and unnerving, with one of those close first-person POVs wherein you're with the narrator living in the only world they've ever known so every daily horror is normalized in a way you just kind of go along with until all of the horrors really start to pile up and then it's like haha umm oh fuck but you just CAN'T look away. Although admittedly I had to do some quick skimming at one point because it was too much for me. Papercutsss. 😩

Anyway, it was great. I'd recommend this to any fan of horror; although I'm not a huge reader of the genre this is nevertheless unlike any other horror novel I've ever read and I really dug it. It's on the shorter side, too, which felt perfect. Worth a few hours of your time if you'd like to feel deeply disturbed! 🥳

My thanks to Kensington Books | Erewhon Books and NetGalley for the ARC.

Where I End by Sophie White is a gothic horror novel set on a remote island off the coast of Ireland. Here we meet our narrator, a young girl Aoileann who lives on the island with her grandmother and bed ridden mother. It becomes clear quite quickly that the place is eerie, and Aoileaan is not quite right somehow.

Aoileann is forced to help take care of her mother and we learn about the gruelling process her and her grandmother go through each day to keep her alive. This is not done with kindness either, it is clear they both hold resentment for the ‘half life’ they’ve been sentenced too. Aoileann has also never been told how ‘the bed thing’ as she lovingly calls her, ended up in this condition, causing her a great deal of anger and confusion. She wants answers.

I enjoyed hearing the inner workings of Aoileanns mind and found her to be very interesting and well developed. Some of her actions, while strange, were completely believable. White definitely spent a lot of time figuring out this character and it shows.

I was very engaged at the beginning and wanting answers kept me reading. But by the time they came, they were a little lacklustre. A very strange, twisty, atmospheric book that dipped a little towards the end. This is a disturbing book, involving body horror, so be sure to take that into account.

Thank you NetGalley for my ARC.

respectfully, what the fuck.

Where I End hooks you to the page with its entrancing writing and stomach-churning plot, and now upon finishing it, I have no idea how to feel. What I do know however, is that this book was brilliantly paced, packing a punch in under 200 pages!!

Where I End follows Aoileann, who lives with her grandmother and takes care of the bed-thing, a wrinkled-up shell of a woman who happens to also be her mother, all while living in recluse near the edge of the island. Aoileann who's a little lost and so so sick of the bed-things gets enraptured by Rachel, an artist who recently moved to the island with her son, and by slowly creeping her way into Rachel's life, she finds the something she's been looking for all along.

this was sickening in the best way. The writing style reminds me of Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth, very literary and so atmospheric, all while haunting you and keeping you glued to the pages. It was so good in a way that left you feeling icky afterwards, and I felt my stomach drop so many times throughout the book.

I highly recommend it if you can handle it, so check out trigger warnings prior! You are in for a ride.

Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Publishing for a copy in exchange for an honest review!

There was definitely alot of hype with this book and I think it definitely Iived up to it. A dark, gothic story and very original. Yes, it's disturbing at times but its very well written and a throughly enjoyable read. Highly recommended xx

Okay this WILL stick with me...

I think I have a pretty high tolerance for nasty/disturbing/fucked-up-stuff but man, was I visibly grimacing most of the time reading this--the language and imagery is THAT grotesque and disturbing, it's incredible. So is it weird to say I enjoyed it? Probably. Anyway, without spoiling a ton, this was such an interesting way to explore motherhood and what it means to BE mothered (or...not). I never really read horror, but this makes me want to explore the genre even more.

thanks to NetGalley & the publisher for the eARC!

Disturbing at times but overall I found it entertaining. Full of twists and suspense that I didn’t expect. I recommend this if you’re looking for a thrilling ride!