Member Reviews

Where I End by Sophie White is a deary, creepy, dark, disturbing book that is more unsettling then horror. The atmosphere is dark and isolated, making it a sad depressing tale. It had very creepy vibes throughout but I thought it was more sad than horrific. I don't understand the characters motivations in this story. I feel like the whole thing could have been avoided if they had communicated properly. Where I End is more about family dysfunction than horror.

Thanks for NetGalley, Kensington Books, and Erewhon Books for the advanced copay of the book. The opinions are my own.

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4.5 stars

"Back then I willed her to move or speak. I rubbed my face in her hair and put my arms around her stiff, intractable body. I pulled her unwilling arms around me. She was an island and I was trying to claim her."

This book is in the top three most disturbing books I've ever read. So heavy, so dark, and so very effective. This is the kind of story that you really need to be in the right head-space to read. I finished this book at night and it was hard to wait until morning to go out into the sunshine to shake some of it off.

I would describe the vibes as this: If "We Have Always Lived In the Castle" by Shirley Jackson and "Bad Ronald" by Jack Vance got together and created a Frankenstein monster of a book, it would be this. I am very glad I read the author's note prior to starting the story, it helped ground me in what was happening, at least somewhat. The story is told from the point of view of the main character throughout, and her head is a dark and scary place to be. Initially, As the plot unfolds, things just get more and more strange until things finally come together for an ending that was horrifying in so many ways.

The issues of motherhood, post-partum mental health issues, and caregiving for a profoundly compromised individual were the focus of the narrative and I admit that some of that subject matter was hard to take in. As a mother, some of the more intense scenes involving infants had me taking a breather and walking away for a bit before diving back in. The author used these issues to further the horror without becoming disrespectful, in my opinion.

Overall, I would recommend this to anyone looking for a dark, heavy, gothic horror story but look for trigger warnings to be sure this is for you. As for me, there are a few scenes that will live rent-free in my head for the rest of my days, most specifically the method the mother used to leave her marks on the floor and the image of the mother with her babies on the beach. Egads, I just got a chill.

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Where I End, by Sophie White, is one of the better horror novels I’ve read in months. Set on a suffocating island, we’re shown once again that the true horror is people.

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Where I End is a disturbing and haunting story about motherhood and mental health, but told in a way you don’t usually hear. We follow Aoileann who lives on a small Irish island together with her grandmother and the ‘bed-thing’. The island inhabitants are very superstitious, and for reasons unknown to Aoileann they all seem to hate her, or maybe they’re even scared of her? We follow her story as she begins to figure out why.
Then one day she stumbles upon Rachel; an artist and new mother who is visiting the island for work. Rachel is the first person Aoileann has met that doesn’t spit on the ground or cross the street when they see her. Aoileann becomes more and more obsessed with Rachel, and she finds she’d do anything to get Rachel all to herself.

I absolutely loved this story. It talks about mental illness, postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis in an honest and raw way. The author isn’t afraid to get real grisly and gross, and while many parts are very much a “WTF did I just read”-moment, I think it’s important not to sugarcoat these things or pretend it doesn’t happen. Mental illness of any kind isn’t cute and pretty, it’s ugly and raw and brutal. I can’t even begin to count all the times I was sure I was clinically insane because I never knew other people shared my feelings and experiences. Sharing the ugly parts and talking about them is extremely important, as is evident in this book when Aoileanne’s mother isn’t taken seriously when she tries to talk about the thoughts she has.
I also find it very interesting that we get this story from the POV of the child of a mother dealing with postpartum psychosis, which is an angle you don’t get to see often enough.


Thank you to the author and Kensington Books for this ARC!

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I could not put this book down. And I can't stop thinking about it now that I have finished. I think I read the whole thing with this disgusted, horrified look on my face...and absolutely loved it. I think part of what I loved, part of what made it so intense, was that it was real. Like this could actually happen and that is horrifying to think about. If you like body horror this one might be for you. I don't want to say too much as I don't want to ruin the experience, but it was a great read.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book

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Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read this ARC of Sophie White’s ‘Where I End’.

Hmmmm so I’m not even sure how to review this book. I am a huge fan of the horror genre, but yet this didn’t quite feel like horror to me. If anything, I would say it was unnerving, uncomfortable, unsettling; all the synonyms. Which, I suppose, could be considered horror to some.

I can’t say I enjoyed or didn’t enjoy this book. I almost DNFed this book, but keep trudging through and it did definitely pick up towards the end.

I feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions with this novel. I would have liked some details on how the bed-thing exactly fell into that position. I do know they mention it, but I’d like details. It really doesn’t all line up to me. The monster is the island? Or the monster is the islanders?

Either way I’d say an interesting read to discuss and pick apart for different theories.

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What a magnificently disturbing nightmare of a story!
You know what else is magnificent here? A reminder that people CAN surprise you. I mean, I would have never selected this book solely based on the romcom garbage the author had churned out before. But lo and behold, she turns around (a full 180) and produces this darkness-personified of a story—a portrait of psychopath as a young woman, if you will.
Actually, I selected this book based on its award-winning status and praise from respectable sources. And yeah, totally worth it. A one-sit read, a mesmerizingly, viscerally disturbing book.
It pulls you into its darkness slowly. The first 20% or so it just descriptions of the island where the story takes place—this is very much as location-as-character story. We don’t meet Rachel, the character who becomes a sort of catalyst for the plot until nearly 30%. The thing is, the author absolutely has the chops to work with a leisurely pace; her descriptions are cinematically vivid. The island comes to life as a forbidding rock populated by narrow-minded, superstitious, insular people who shun the protagonist, Aoileann, and have done so for all her nineteen years on earth.
She has never left the island, never been to school, all she knows of the world is what she’s read in books. Aoileann’s entire life is dedicated to (with her grandmother) taking care of her mother who has been in a vegetative state more or less since Aoileann was born.
This care is described in exhaustive, visceral detail to show you just how much of a nightmare the situation is. To make matters worse (and give the situation a slightly surreal atmosphere),at night, her mother apparently crawls around, etching letters into the floor with her bare fingers.
When Rachel (with her newborn) shows up on the island for a temporarily artistic residency, Aoileann sees a window into a larger world open and grabs at it for dear life. It becomes a sort of toxic obsession where she can’t quite tell if she wants Rachel for a lover or a mother, but she wants Rachel and will stop at nothing to get her.
Absolutely harrowing journey into a warped mind. Very well done.
It seems the story had been reworked and expanded from the original, going by descriptions alone, and more importantly, it works. Sure, yeah, it checks A LOT of the current gotta-have-it boxes along the way: a tale of motherhood, mothers/daughters dynamics, reverential treatment of body fat, queer tones, etc. but it does so in a way that never seems gratuitous and really works within the story.
It isn’t a fun read by any means, nor will it work for everyone, but it would be a deranged delight for connoisseurs of dark psychological fiction. Recommended. Thanks Netgalley.

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Where I End is scarily not politically correct. The bedridden mother is called a bed-thing and treated as a soulless burden. The protagonist is called a soul-stench but casually mentions her many rapes as a child by the repulsed but sexually aroused island men. The book’s entire mood is distasteful. But this is visceral horror, it is meant to be disgusting. And the author succeeds more than I expected. This is a novel that lingers. I read it weeks ago and still it rests uneasily in my mind, and in my heart. To say I didn’t like Where I End is a gross understatement. But it did arouse strong emotions in me, which is rare in the wide ocean of books I read each year. So, I give this book 5 stars though I only recommend it if you are willing to live with it forever stuck in your psyche.

Thanks to Erewhon Books and NetGalley for a digital review copy of the book.

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Unsettling is definitely the word I would use to describe this book.

It’s not horror in the sense of a slasher or the paranormal, but man the characters were all messed up. Also I felt like I wasn’t 100% sure what was going on at times, but it kept my attention enough to continue to the end.

Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the eARC.

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This was an amazing piece of creepy, disturbing, gothic Irish literature. It made me feel uncomfortable in places, always on edge, which I think was the point. And if it was on purpose, it was done superbly. You try to feel for the main character but it is hard to do. White's writing style was smooth, and the language used was clever without being overdone or too much. This was a great book and a story that will stay with you long after you put it down.

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Where I End by Sophie White was a dark read. I could NOT put the book down. It hooks you right from the very beginning. The story takes place on an island where 19 year old Aoileann and her grandmother live secluded from others on and caring for Aoileanns mother who is ill. The author is not clear on what illness she has but the mother doesn’t speak and only moves at night. Aoileann longs for a mother’s love but knows her mother cannot give her what she needs. She meets a woman who’s new in town and becomes obsessed with her. Things take a very dark turn.

Wow! I finished this book in a single day because it was that intriguing. Dark and disturbingly good.

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Alone and devoted to caring for her sick mother, Aoileann struggles to live a normal life. After all, she isn’t considered normal. She is shunned by the people of her island as well as her own family. Her days consist of constant care and minimal socializing. When a small time artist, Rachel comes to the island for a gif at the local museum, Aoileann finds herself obsessed with her and her newborn baby Seamus. Aoileann has never felt human connection like this and she struggles to understand her own feelings. She knows one thing for certain, nothing will get in the way of her seeing Rachel again, not even her baby.

My brief synopsis doesn’t do this book justice. This book is intense and at times extremely uncomfortable to read. (In a good way)

I love how the author explores themes of sexuality, familial ties and human emotions.

There were times when I was completely grossed out and other moments where my heart felt in my stomach. This book will bring out multiple emotions.

Perfect for fans of psychological horror as well as familial horror. Also perfect for anyone who deal with sick family members and the countless hours of work it takes to care for them.

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Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of Where I End.

I'm always up for a spooky, horrifying tale and the premise did lure me in with dark promises such as that.

Horror is subjective; what's scary to you may not be scary to me.

Some things we can all agree is scary, but I didn't think the premise is scary.

Aoileann is cursed. She takes care of her invalid mother every day, with lives with her grumpy grandmother.

The three of them live unhappily on the remote island off the coast of Ireland where the locals harbor deep superstitions and beliefs from olden days. She has no friends and never gone to school.

Her mother's current state is a family secret, never discussed, but it's hard to dismiss her when Aoileann and her grandmother are responsible for the “bed-thing.”

Aoileann’s has never left her home and most likely never will.

Until she meets an artist named Rachel and this new vibrant, lush woman awakens feelings in Aoileann she has never felt before.

To be loved, Mothered, Parented. To be in love.

Soon, Aoilean's fascination with Rachel turns into deep obsession, leading her down a dark path that will unearth secrets behind her mother's tragic existence and what the future holds for herself.

First, being the caretaker for an invalid or sick person is horrifying.

The caring, feeding, washing, it's tedious, time consuming, mind numbing and heartbreakingly sad.

Second, being a parent, much less a mother ain't what it's cracked up to me, no matter what our patriarchal society wants women to keep believing.

It's not easy being a parent, and it's never easy to be a mother. It's a role you can't prepare for and it never ends. Never.

The writing is great, but the style and format was confusing, distracting.

The narrative is tedious and repetitive, filled with wordy passages and metaphors about Aoileann's home and island, though it set the mood and atmosphere of isolation and segregation.

I understand (at least I hope I d0) the point of listing all the tedious and gruesome tasks that made up Aoileann's day was to demonstrate how quickly being a caretaker wears anyone down, regardless of age and gender and time period.

The ambiguity behind why Aoileann's and her family is cursed is hinted upon and partly left to the reader's imagination, which I liked, though I wanted more clues.

The story was disturbing and horrifying because it reminded me of how terrible humans can be to each other and to themselves.

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Aoileann and her grandmother live on a small, windswept island off the coast of Ireland. They care for Aoileann’s mother who is bedfast and doesn’t speak as the result of some tragedy.

Then Rachel and her fussy baby appear on the island and offer Aoileann a hope that things could be different. What secrets does the island hold?

Spooky? Yes. And a great setting. I’m just not sure I got everything. Or maybe I did.

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"Where I End" unfolds as an intensely disquieting yet exquisitely rendered narrative, delving into the daily horrors experienced by Aoileann, an isolated and stunted teenager. The tale also explores themes of motherhood, the private tribulations individuals endure, and the nuanced distinctions between living, surviving, and mere existence.

Residing in the remotest reaches of a small and inhospitable island, Aoileann finds herself cut off from the local community. Her paternal grandmother wields authority, her shattered father flits in and out, and her bed-bound, silent, and staring mother—what remains of her—adds an eerie presence. As survivors of a catastrophic event, they are paradoxically cast as outcasts despite being natives of the island.

Aoileann's routine revolves around caring for her mother, involving themes of sick care, detailed wounds, and an unsettling sense of body horror, all while occasionally escaping for solitary sea swims. Her life takes a turn when she encounters Rachel, a newcomer to the island, and her newborn son. Aoileann is immediately drawn to Rachel's feminine form and the nurturing aspect of her body. Driven by an overwhelming need for love, the story intensifies with a dark and sinister undercurrent.

This is a commanding, relentless, and disconcerting novel, incorporating horror elements reminiscent of Angela Carter and Shirley Jackson, with echoes of fellow Irish writer Sue Rainsford. The words in the narrative probe, poke, and nestle, and while the story's grotesqueness may deter some, I found it breathtaking. An intelligent, intense, and visceral read—undoubtedly one of the most captivating books I've encountered in quite a while.

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There are many creepy moments in this book and moments that I found very strange but overall I enjoyed reading it.

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My mother. At night, my mother creaks. The house creaks along with her.
Through our thin shared wall, I can hear the makings of my mother gurgle through her body just like the water in the walls of the house...
Teenage Aoileann has never left the island. Her silent, bed-bound mother is a wreckage, the survivor of a private disaster no one will speak about.
Aoileann desperately wants a family, and when Sarah and her three young children move to the island, Aoileann finds a focus for her relentless love.
A horror story about being bound by the blood knot of family.

A horror novel that geniusly captures the possible horrors of motherhood. scary, suspenseful and utterly entertaining. A bit different from my usual horror novel tastes but I very much was glad I gave it a chance. 3.5 - 4 stars:)

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I loved that the author is being honest and how the idea of writing this book came up in the author’s mind. The book is grim, reminiscing and atmospheric . Island make people do things and reading about Moira gave me atmospheric vibe. I felt sad for Aoileann and Rachel. This felt like a memoir or reading inner monologue. I liked the setting of a small irish island. Reading about Aoileann’s Mother made me sad. Rachel is an artist who arrives on an island with her newborn and Aoileann is currently living with her grandmother. The author slowly unveils the secrets of her mother and whispering secrets only Aoileann can hear. The author has described the true horror of a mother and daughter. I liked how happy Dadda made Aoileann while her mother was a mystery and her mystery unraveled at the end. This modern gothic story is infused with secrets, curse, fear, resentments and dark obsession.

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This book was good, but maybe a little too odd for me to absolutely love it. I think I am still processing what I read.

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Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

This was a strange little story. Full of trauma and a girl who wants love no matter what. This is also a good amount of disgusting and disturbing without being too much.

I’m not sure how to review this because there’s so much going on. I’m not sure if I see Aoileann as a villain. She is so trapped and unhappy and the way she is treated by her family and her community would have me over the edge as well. Of course she’d latch onto the first person who would be nice to her and treat her like she wasn’t a monster.

The “curse” part of this was so bizarre. Nobody could interact with Aoileann and they wouldn’t let her get near them because she was cursed. I didn’t really understand that. The ending was trying to explain it but I still didn’t understand all the way. Not even Aoileann knew why everyone hated her. Nobody would talk to her.

Aoileann just craved loved. From her mother & another person. The way she hated her mother and couldn’t even call her that and referred to her as “it” and “the bed thing” that ruined her life and tormented her is very reflective of individuals who have to be cared for by their families. Aoileann has had to since she was a child and has never known her mother to be normal, so the resentment building up is understandable. She just wants to be free and can’t.

The ending was both heartbreaking and weirdly relieving. Rachel is Aoileann‘s savior and I don’t know whether that’s good or bad for them. It could end horribly.

I wanted to read this book because of the Shirley Jackson award win and it was very unique and kept my attention. I learned a lot about the Irish language as well as different Irish superstitions. You get a sense of being trapped while reading the story. Trapped on a tiny island in a tiny house where a girl is slowly going insane taking care of her mother and not being able to interact with the outside world. Her father only comes to the island once a month to check on them and her grandmother lives in the house with her but is distance and unaffectionate with her. She is nearly 20 and grows to hate the village and hate her family. She is unwelcome in her own home as well as everywhere else. A newcomer to the island is the only one who is kind to her. A woman with a baby. Aoileann has so much love to give them that she can’t give anyone else.

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