"I thought this was really well written and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future. I think it will find readers at our library, so we will definitely be purchasing for the collection.

“You are a body first,…..and your body is not yours alone.”

Shame on You by Melissa Petro is a novel focusing on the world of shame that women deal with on a daily basis. Shame is heaped on women from the moment they are young, and the older they grow, more of its is forced into their lives. Petro discusses shame in the many forms it comes in this novel. From the moment women are born, shame is involved with their bodies. Modesty, making sure we are covered properly. As we grow older, not only is shame connected to modesty, but it becomes connected with aging, motherhood, wife-hood, sexuality.

Petro connects these themes of shame with her own experiences, starting with when she lost her job as a teacher due to her past as a sex worker. She guides the reader through how she learned to cope with these expectations set against shame as she navigated her way as a woman in this modern day.

My one concern for this novel was this structure. It looses its flow frequently, and the story telling seems a bit all over the place. However, I would still recommend this novel as think piece about what it means to be a woman in any stage of life.

Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons for the advanced reader copy!

I really enjoyed reading this memoir, and related to a lot of the experiences that the author discussed in this book. We need more literature like this, that normalizes the plight of the women in society and options to improve the way that we interact with and uplift each other.

My therapist will be hearing about this (in a good way).

I requested this ARC because I remember Melissa Petro—specifically, a New York Post headline referring to her as an “Idiot prosti-teacher” who “didn’t learn [her] lesson”. Exactly what ‘lesson’ is meant to be taken from being unfairly ousted from one’s job for one’s past? We may never find out, but I digress.

I also remember that many of the articles about Petro were written by other women. I remember the way one female columnist said, in the honest-to-god year 2010, that “there exists no legal or moral right for an openly loose woman to get her hands on the city’s most vulnerable kids”, as if Petro was the Child Catcher and not just a regular woman teaching in the Bronx. My favorite part is probably the unintentional implication that all teachers go into the profession to “get their hands on” kids, since there’s no other discernible reason to assume Petro would be trying to do so. Sex work and pedophilia are not even remotely the same, nor are teaching and pedophilia. Conservatives are truly a baffling people.

Mostly, though, I remember how growing up and seeing years’ worth of articles like the ones written about Melissa Petro taught me to vilify sex workers and feel shame when compared to them or other “bad” women. I was only nine when she hit the news. It takes a long time to unlearn and heal from this sort of stuff, and I immediately connected with the title of this book—I think this one is going to resonate with a lot of women, no matter if you’re familiar with the author or not.

If it isn’t already obvious that I loved it; I loved it. I even teared up a few times. I rarely read books categorized as self-help and Petro was the draw for me, but I found this book to be a very readable balance of information, feminist dissection of the concept and impact of shame, and discussion on self-improvement/dealing with shame.

Petro’s writing wasn’t technically remarkable, but it was enjoyable. I found her funny and conversational—the tone is somewhere between your no-nonsense therapist pushing you to be your best, and your friend telling you a story about the insanity she puts up with at work. One of those that kind of feels more like getting coffee with the author than reading, especially because Petro includes lots of personal quotes from women she’s discussed shame with. Sometimes it’s much more interesting and refreshing to get insight on the perspective and experience of everyday women than it is to deep-dive the data on a subject, and I think this is one of those cases.

Overall, Shame On You provides an unflinching look at shame, the way patriarchal societies weaponize it against women, what we deal with as a result, and how we can heal from it. This is an important book from an interesting perspective, and certainly one I’ll be recommending. 4 stars.

There was a lot here I related to as a mother, wife, and woman, with great discussions of the concept of shame not only from this author, but with textual citations to works of many others who write and conduct research on the subject. I enjoyed the personal stories and teaching moments more than some of the academic aspects. Certainly you'd expect a shift of tone and attention, and honestly, these portions were not super long and were peppered appropriately throughout the book.

I liked the cover, I liked the writing, I liked the honesty. Now if we could all collectively agree and get on board, we could change the world. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on how I can incorporate these strategies and make my life easier.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

Thought provoking and incredibly well researched! A necessary read for any woman in the age of social media, me too, or just this day and age. I read alongside Over The Influence by Kara Alaimo- they were great together.

This was a really interesting read. It was the first time I’d read something that explored the feeling of shame, particularly in connection to women, so I found a lot of its points really thought-provoking. It was well-researched but also deeply personal at times, seeming like a blend of social politics, self-help, and memoir.

A thought-provoking and compelling read that explores why women experience and how they suffer from shame. The book is organized into two parts - one on identifying shame and one on overcoming shame. The author shares many stories, including her own, to illustrate how harmful our gender norms are and what we can do to reshape them.

Thank you very much to Putnam Books and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

Shame on You by Melissa Petro is a memoir of an incredibly brave and talented woman. Her story of being a paid sex worker and the repercussions that this had on her life is very compelling. The book opens up with her very challenging decision to resign as a public school teacher in New York City and concludes with her settling in to motherhood in a relationship with a supportive husband.

This book also covers the topic of shame citing several of Brene Brown’s publications as well as several interviews. I felt that these sections of the book detracted from Ms. Petro’s compelling personal experiences. Nonetheless, I read this book in less than a day and could not put it down. I highly recommend this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Putnam for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.