First off, I want to say that the narrators, Renee Thorn and Ryan Stone, did a fantastic job. They fit their roles perfectly in my opinion and they were easy to listen to. That being said, I did feel like this audio was a bit too long and the story could have benefitted from being shorter and more concise. There were aspects I liked and a lot that I didn't like about this one. I knew going into it that it was going to be a dark, bully romance but I didn't expect that the MMC was going to be degrading basically the entire time and that the dubious consent was going to be very rapey in their first encounter. I didn't feel like they had much connection at all beyond her thinking he's good looking and him wanting her because she was innocent and would be 100% afraid of him. It also started off with him instantly being like "she's the one" with no real build up at all. Both MCs have moms who are severely ill but with no specification of with what. I think the writing style is good but there's a lot going on that didn't feel like it was fully fleshed out but will probably be cleared up in the next book. There are a lot of reveals at the end of the book and I was very confused because two of them are conflicting unless there's another reveal that is going to be in the next one. I won't spoil the ending but be prepared to not know what the heck is going on. I will say that without the ending I probably wouldn't have continued with the series but since I want to know what is going on and where all those reveals are going I will likely read/listen to the next book.

There are a lot of triggers and that is specified in the description so if that gives you pause, you'll probably want to skip this one. Some of the triggers include child abuse, stalking, attempted drugging, dubious consent, blackmail, domestic violence, chronic illness, and more. If you like dark romance, bully romance, dubious consent, bad boy x good girl, player x virgin, secret societies, etc. then this might be a good fit for you. This one wasn't a great fit for me and I don't read that many dark romance books, but I've seen a lot of rave reviews for it so I'd definitely recommend checking out some other opinions before deciding whether to read/listen to this one since you may agree more with them!

Thank you Dreamscape Media for the digital ALC via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I am not ok with how this book ended 😆😩 The last couple of chapters had me on edge and trying not to yell. I need the next book like now! The amount of emotions the book gave me was unreal! I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to finish a book so quickly!

Bel seemed to be a quiet, shy, keep-to-yourself type of girl. As the story developed that is not who she turned out to be! I loved her spitfire side. All she ever wanted to do was make sure her mom was ok.

Drew is wealthy, a jock, and arrogant but man did he win my heart by the end of the book. He did everything he had to for his mother. He put on the show that his dad needed for his mother. Drew only cared about being the perfect image so nothing happened to her. This was until a girl in the library decided to stand up to him! He didn’t know his whole life was about to change because of her.

This book was very well written! The character development was strong. You got to know each of the characters. Every emotion they went through you did too. The build-up in the book was needed to get you to feel all the feels! At first, I thought some wasn’t necessary but as you got closer to the end it all makes sense! Hands down one of my favorite books and I can’t wait for the next book to come out! I’ll be keeping my eyes open!

Thank you, NetGalley, for allowing me to read this book and review it! Thank you, J. L. Beck, for writing a book that I couldn’t put down! I can’t wait to read more from you! Thank you, Dreamscape Media, for publishing this book. And, thank you, Renee Thorn and Ryan Stone, for being the Narrators of this book! Both of you killed it and made the story come alive!

Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for an advanced audio of this book.

I don’t know what I thought I was going into, but it wasn’t what I got. I’m no stranger to dark romances, but there were too many tropes here that made me ultimately not care about the plot. I felt like the blurb doesn’t effectively prepare the reader for what they’re actually going into. There’s dubcon and primal play, our hero has an abusive father, there’s two sick mothers (cancer??) and - surprise! - a weird family connection going. The ending thoroughly confused me with too many reveals.

Despite the weirdness of it all, I wasn’t a huge fan of either main character (they were both annoying and I’m still not sure why he was so obsessed with her), and the hunt was strange. I see that there’s a second book in the series that continues; I don’t plan to continue on, unless the curiosity starts to eat away at me (there’s a chance).

The narration was good. They were both new-to-me narrators. The female narrator’s voice threw me off at first, I think when she was voicing a male character or something at the beginning.

Ummm. What the hell just happened?!? I feel misled - this was absolutely not a standalone with a HEA! I need the next book now.

Bell is a sweet, innocent and hard-working college student who is trying to care for her sick mother. She stands up to a bully in the library and ends up being at the center of his obsession.

I’m not a fan of bullies, but Drew’s character drew me in. I felt so many emotions towards that man.

Check the trigger warnings! There’s definitely some dark stuff in this book. Dub-con (bordering non-con)and CNC… and the spice was definitely not the sweet and romantic kind - lots of primal play.

The narration is excellent.

Thanks so much to Dreamscape Media for the audiobook via Netgalley for review.

Speechless! I am so invested after devouring this book. I honestly wasn't sure how I would like this book, but I was sucked in by chapter 2. Our FMC is just trying to make it through and take care of her sick mother when she meets our domineering MMC. Their relationship is carnal, complicated, and sometimes brutal. The last few chapters had me on the edge of my seat with all the twists that are revealed, and now I need The Wildflower to pick up where this cliffhanger left me gasping for more.

4.5 ⭐️
Spice Rating : 3/5 🌶️

This was such a fun ride! I had the best time with this.

The book follows Drew and Maybell through Oakmount Elite as they navigate college, dark urges, situationships and drama within the high society.

I have to start by saying that themes in this book have their own special niche and will appeal only to those who like those. Check the content warnings before picking up the book.
For me, personally, I loved it. It was so spicy, over-the-top and absolutely entertaining. I breezed through the audiobook and couldn't wait to fall back into the world of Oakmount Elite each time I had to take breaks. I am thoroughly invested in this series now.

I have to add, Drew was just a little too mean at times, just a smidge over hot. Also, the plot twist at the end was just too unbelievable and very random. That being said, I am so excited for the next book and to see how the story unfolds from there.

About the audiobook specifically, this was narrated by Renee Thorn and Ryan Stone. Loved the narration, the enunciations and production. Very well done. I am an audiobook connoisseur through and through and this did not disappoint.

Overall, a great pick if you want a dark, bully romance set in an elite college where rules are broken and money is power!

I received an ARC of the Audiobook. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Thank you to Netgalley, the Author and the Publisher for providing an ARC of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

Holy plot twists!

Some parts I struggled to connect with and other parts I couldn’t read through fast enough.

I didn’t know it was a duet, off to find book 2.

The narrators were ABSOLUTELY AMAZING

What a rollercoaster of emotions this book put me through. When I started, I expected steam but not romance and I thought maybe the steam would be too dark for me. After the first couple of chapters, I didn’t think I would feel attached to the characters beyond a surface level because I could never sympathize with a dangerous bully or a girl who would give in to him.
By chapter 8, I admitted to myself that the spicy scenes were just my taste, even if it was turning out to be a newly acquired taste.
By chapter 19, I was falling in love with Drew and there was a chance he and Maybell could make a cute couple.
Around chapter 33, I needed them to have a happily ever after together because they were perfect for each other.
After chapter 36, I couldn’t believe the author played me like a fiddle then left me with broken bow strings.
I need that next book ASAP.

First and foremost, this book ends on a cliffhanger so why in the world does the description of this book on NetGalley say that it is a standalone and contains a happily ever after. That is a straight up lie. Besides the fact that I was mislead, this was a good listen. It’s not very unique in the story line but it was entertaining.

I went into this audiobook totally blind. I didn't realize it was a dark romance. Which is one of my favorites. Please check trigger warnings!! I really enjoyed it. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it was mine. I also didn't know this was going to end in a cliffhanger. J.L. Beck! Please, I need the next audiobook.
This was my first time hearing these two narrators. Renee Thorn does a great male voice. I really enjoyed Ryan Stone. I would definitely listen to them again.

This book! HOLY SHIT... I was hooked in immediately. I haven't picked up a dark romance in a hot minute and let me just say this baby did not disappoint. Not only was it hot as all get out, but I was also on the edge of my seat and suspicious of everyone. I did not see some of the twists coming at all but I did have major suspicions about the bestie however didn't see it going like that. I am desperate to get my hands on the next book!

Thank you #netgalley, the author and publishers for the ARC of the audio book. The Wallflower was enjoyable. This was the first things I’ve read by this author and it was good. The struggles Drew faces to try to be with Bel were hard. The relationship Drew has with Bel is toxic but you understand why as you read the book. Please be sure to check your trigger warnings before reading this. This is dark and there is CNC throughout the story. There was a lot of gaslighting thought this book with Drew to Bel and that would be why I have this book 3.5 starts rounded down to 3 and not up to 4. But regardless of that I will be reading the next as this does end if a pretty big cliff hanger and I want to know what happened next! I do look forward to the next book.

⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Well well well…

Thank you, Net Galley and Dreamscape Media for this audiobook. I am a big fan of Dreamscape media productions and I went into this book completely blind, trusting them completely.

The voice actors did a great job with this book. I loved Renee Thorn´s voice. She completely entranced me. Ryan Stone was able to portray all of Drew´s darkness splendidly so I apllouses to you two!

Speaking about the book itself I have to be honest and say that this wasn´t my favorite story. The connection between the character was zero for me and yes, it´s a dark romance but up to 45% was just dark… borderline rape.
In the second half of the book, I started to get into it and enjoyed it much more.
The plot picks up by the end and I was so pissed to discover it´s not standalone because my gosh that ending. Definitely will read book 2 just to know what the hell will happen.

You should listen/read it if you love dark romances, MMC with stalker tendencies and questionable behavior, and cliffhangers.

Okay… to be fair, I did this to myself. I read the trigger warnings and decided not to proceed. But then the audio was available and I figured, “why not.” Even though I knew better.

The triggers are too dark for me so I’m giving it a generous 3 stars even though I’m DNFing at 35% because I was warned. (Typically a dnf is a 1 star) this is a book I never should have picked up.

I think the narrators played into their rolls/attitudes perfectly though.

I’m not sure where to begin with this review… JL Beck isn’t new to me. However, I haven’t read her books in a while and most of the books of hers I read were her darker side to romance. This book was dark-ish, but it was more on the emotional side mixed in with some amazing suspense.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁:

🔥 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗕𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲
🔥 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹/𝗦𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲
🔥 𝗛𝗲'𝘀 𝗔 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼
🔥 𝗢𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲
🔥 𝗗𝘂𝗯𝗖𝗼𝗻 & 𝗡𝗼𝗻𝗖𝗼𝗻
🔥 𝗥𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗘𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗚𝘂𝘆𝘀
🔥 𝗔𝗹𝗽𝗵𝗮𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝗰𝗸/𝗡𝗲𝗿𝗱 𝗚𝗶𝗿𝗹
🔥 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴
🔥 𝗗𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗢'𝘀
🔥 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆
🔥 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀
🔥 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗛𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝗶𝗲
🔥 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆

I love Maybell! I loved her from the very beginning. She’s sassy, quiet, shy and kind of socially awkward and smart and keeps herself pretty isolated especially when it comes to guys. But when she ends up defending a guy in the library from a bully at her school. Unfortunately, this draws the attention from the one guy she doesn’t want or expect attention from.

Drew, the guy she doesn’t want the attention from… Well, he’s had a hard life and it has shaped him in to the guy he is today… he’s an asshole, he’s possessive and when he wants something, he goes after it and gets it… but I’m not going to dive in to deep, I think it’s best to go in blind.
However, I will say Drew is definitely not boyfriend material, the way he tormented and treated Maybell was brutal. But I could see that there was more there and he couldn’t stay away from her and the push and pull, sassy and snarky comments and come backs just made the tension and chemistry even more intense.

I love how Maybell pushed back on Drew, she gave him a run for his money and it was entertaining to read. She’s one of a kind and as opposite as Drew and Maybell are I honestly think they are perfect for each other and their connection and chemistry is so real. My jaw has never hit the floor so hard, this is one hell of a cliffhanger. I love a good cliffhanger.. This one? I felt like someone gut and throat punched me!

If you enjoy high school bully romances with a touch of darkness and a shit load of emotions, I highly recommend picking up this book! I absolutely love this book!

5 STARS!

Hurt people hurt people!

The following ratings are out of 5:
Romance: 💙❤️💚💜
Steam: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📕📗📘📙📔
World building: 🌏🌍🌏🌍🌎
Character development: 😊😘🤓😟🥰
Narration: 🎙🎙🎙🎙
Narration Type: Dual Narration

The Hero: Andrew “Drew” Marshall - he comes from a wealthy family and is a football star, the quarterback of the football team at Oakmount university. He is bored, arrogant, obsessed and more than a bit psychotic. He is the guy all the other guys want to be, and all the girls want. He takes full advantage of that. He and his friends, Ares, Sebastian and Lee are in charge of The Hunt, which is a spectacle they put on once a year by the elite of the town. It is a game where the guys chase the girls through the woods and get to enjoy whichever prize they catch.

The heroine: Maybell “Bell” Jacobs (a.k.a. Wallflower) - she is a scholarship student, from a poor family. She is also a bit of an introvert, though she isn’t afraid to stand up for herself and others if she feels they need it. She is also socially awkward and tries to stay in the background where she isn’t noticed. Her mother is sick, and she is trying to get enough money for her mom to go to the doctor.

The Story: One thing I didn’t like was from the beginning, Drew was shown harassing a nerd who was supposed to deliver him an essay he paid for. I think the scene was to show what a bad guy Drew was, and it was the vehicle for Bell to first see Drew being a jerk and standing up to him. Though to me it just showed that he wasn’t smart enough to do his own college work. I like a Hero who is able to take care of his own business.

Anyway, Bell gets Drew’s interest when she stands up for the nerd in the library. Even more so, when she wants nothing to do with Drew. He tells her that there is no escaping him now that he wants her. Later, Bell’s best friend tells her that she got them an invitation to The Hunt, and that there is a $25,000.00 prize for the first person that makes it to the cabin. She can’t turn it down since she needs the money for her mother.

I didn’t really understand Drew and his friend's relationship to the mill and what exactly the mill was. Drew certainly had some daddy issues. I have to say, I really disliked the way Drew, Lee, Ares and Sebastian talked about women at the start of this book, though this is far from the only dark romance where men have a terrible opinion of women at the beginning of a book. I guess seeing a Hero, or Anti-Hero changing throughout the book is part of what I like. Drew’s dad treated him terribly and he ended up treating Bell in much the same way.

This audiobook was told in dual points of view via dual narration and was narrated by Renee Thorn and Ryan Stone. Ryan Stone has a nice deep voice that I like, though he does sound somewhat older than what the main characters are supposed to be, but I grew to like his voice more and more as the story went on and he sounded very sexy in the intimate scenes. Renee Thorn has a pretty deep voice for a female narrator. Her voice isn’t unpleasant, but I guess I just expected a more feminine voice for Bell. Though she did show emotion through her voice very well and she was able to do different voices for different characters.

I voluntarily read & reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts & opinions are my own.

Maybell hasn’t had it easy. Between being a student, tutoring to try to get money to help her sick mom, and a roommate who is pushing her to be more social and she’s all tapped out. She lands on Drew’s radar by accident and now that he’s glimpsed her fire, he’s determine to keep it for himself.

Drew’s family life is more than a little complicated. Maybell was meant to be a distraction. A fun toy to play with during the annual hunt but now that he’s had her he doesn’t want to let her go. But with his family obligations breathing down his neck he’ll have to figure out how to keep her and keep the two most important women in his life safe from his own tormentor.

I was so intrigued by this plot and this audio did not let me down. Drew and Maybell are both equally damaged which draws them to each other. Despite knowing how badly this will end they can’t resist. Drew is not a good guy but after seeing his family life his proclivities make a lot more sense.

The twists and turns in this one had me on the edge of my seat. I knew this one ended with a cliffy but I was not fully prepared for how off the rails we were going to go to get there. I am deeply invested in this couple and I cannot wait for the next audio to come out because I just know Drew is going to make this right and I cannot wait to see what he does to get Maybell to be his endgame.

Thanks so much to Dreamscape Media for the audiobook via netgalley for review.

**Check the content warnings - there are many**

This was an EPIC story, and that is saying something from me because I generally don't do cliffhanger books....but I need more!!! Such a fun listen.

Narrated by: Renee Thorn & Ryan Stone
The female lead voice didn't always feel like it matched the age of the character, but overall did a good job of portraying the fear, desire, and conflicted emotions.
Ryan Stone did an excellent job giving the psychotic vibes needed for this MMC.

Tropes:
* Virgin Heroine
* Quiet & shy FMC
* OTT obsessive & possessive MMC
* Walking red flag
* College secret society
* Opposites attract
* Secret society

Overall rating: 5/5
Spice-o-meter: Burgundy - NSFW; forget new undies, bring a mop
[Many scenes with the use of any of the following: multiple partners, BDSM, Taboo sex kinks (Dubcon, Primal play, knife play, etc)]

I AM IN UTTER SHOCK!!!!
THE INTENCE NEED I HAVE FOR BOOK TWO RIGHT NOW!
AHHHH, I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH!

Publisher's summary
On any day our paths would never cross. Then I was forced to go to the Ruthless Disciples. Every month they do something called the hunt. I didn't plan to ever attend an event, but I needed the money. I thought it was nothing more than an adult version of hide-and-seek.
I had no idea how wrong I was. Nor did I know I’d meet my worst nightmare that night: Andrew “Drew” Marshall, popular-as-hell football star and a Greek god among mere mortals. To anyone else, he would appear to be normal, a good guy. But that night I saw the cruel, dark monster hidden underneath. He was the epitome of evil, the leader of the Disciples, and I was his newest obsession.
This is a dark enemies-to-lovers romance with many triggers. It is a complete standalone that contains a happily ever after.

Thanks to NetGalley & Dreamscape Media for the ALC of The Wallflower!

The Wallflower
By: J. L. Beck
Narrated by: Renee Thorn, Ryan Stone
Series: Oakmount Elite, Book 1
Publisher: Dreamscape Media
Release date: 04-16-24

Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for gifting me this ALC of the audiobook to review.

The description of this book, at the time of the review, states: ‘It is a complete standalone that contains a happily ever after.’, Maybe it was previously intended to be a standalone, but this book clearly ends on a cliffhanger and has no HEA, at least not yet. If this were to be a standalone and not the start of a series, it would not be a very satisfying book to read. So if you’re looking for a standalone or a finished series, I would suggest waiting until more parts of the story come out.

Please be advised that this book covers many topics that may disturb or trigger someone. Spoilers will follow.

I went into this book knowing it is a dark romance, but the blurb of the book didn’t really encompass how problematic the characters and the storyline really are. To give it more context: I would say this is a bully romance, with a lot of misogyny, rich vs. poor, rape and dubious consent kink, victim blaming, domestic violence (not between the love interests, but within the family), terminal illness being used for power over others and sex for money is a topic as well.

So the premise of the book starts with ‘the hunt’ an event organized by some secret society that Drew, the MMC, chairs and that one person can win and get the prize money of 25K. Maybell's roommate pressures her to come to the event, telling her how much she could do with the prize money. Having met her earlier, Drew also issued an explicit invite for Maybell. It seems that no one has ever won the prize money and Maybell overhears chatter about it actually being a big sex party in the woods. Bell is appalled by this, also considering that she is a virgin. When she and her roommate arrive, they are told that this year new rules apply and that by entering, the hunters can do anything to them – their pray- that they want, so basically this is one big rape party. Why Maybell thinks it is a good idea to enter anyway? – No one knows.

Not only that Bell still enters the ‘competition’, but no one at this party or the university seems to have a problem with this setup. Not only that the participants are chased, but they have no say in whether they want to participate in sexual favours and with whom in front of other people in the woods, they are also partially assaulted and it is doubtful that safe sex is practised. All the characters also have a dubious understanding of consent, thinking that once ‘given’ by entering the competition you cannot withdraw your consent.

‘The Hunt’ and the Secret University Society reminded me a bit of the J.S. Wonda Kingston University books, just that they ended up being less problematic than this book (so maybe check out those books if you’re into bullying and secret society dark romance. Those books are not without their problems either though.)

I think dark romance can definitely work if the readers can understand some of the motivations of the ‘dark characters’ at some point. In this case, there is really no rime or reason for the actions of the main character Drew. He has some dark kinks, but that alone does not excuse his poor behaviour or make ‘the hunt’ any more logical. Drew simply does not seem to know how to treat women or people he cares about without trying to control them. It also didn’t really read like a dark romance after ‘the hunt’ was done. Drew suddenly seems to be in insta love, he needs Bell, craves her all the time and is willing to risk everything that he has for her. Even though Bell doesn’t know about it, he is also committed to her. Obviously, he is still problematic and how he thinks of Bell as a possession is toxic, but all of this has none of the ‘dark romance’ characteristics anymore.

Maybell does not really have a personality. She is a little fisty, but only at times and only compared to all the other girls on campus. In real life, she would not stand out for not doing what Drew tells her to all the time, but apparently, all the women on this campus are willing to do almost everything for Drew and also have rape fantasies.

The book has a lot of phrases in it that I find quite problematic. I especially have a problem with some of the things that Maybell thinks or says, because they are not meant to be as obviously toxic as some things that Drew says. A lot of these statements feel like internalized misogyny, especially concerning the consent topic. There are also some parts that I think the author intended for Drew to come across as sweet or endearing to the reader, but that are still toxic if you think about it. I think this messaging can be especially harmful to younger or inexperienced readers who might then think some of this is normal when it is not.

Because I found the whole premise of the love story between Dew and Bell so problematic, I was also not into the spicy scenes at all. I don’t know if it was purely that I didn’t get into it or that I actually also did not like how everything was described.

While I was listening, I wrote down quotes that I found especially problematic, illogical or otherwise comment-worthy:
- The author throws the reader right into the deep end: During the first chapter Drew and his buddies talk about women, referring to them as ‘the thing’ and one of them is asking Drew if they need to ‘Find you a girl’. They have a weird fascination with ‘clueless’ virgins
- Jackie, Bel’s roommate might be the worst best friend I have ever read about in a book. She tries to persuade Bell to attend the hunt, because: 'We hardly get to do anything together'. Yes, taking part in a hunt that basically equates to a rape party sounds like a great bonding time - no pun intended. They also arrive together and then never see each other again, what a great friendship.
So Jackie persuades Bell to attend this hunt and pushes Bell to go for it when she realises that Drew is into Bell. She also keeps telling her how jealous she and the other girls are that she caught Drew’s attention. But then towards the end of the book, she says: ‘I don't want you to get hurt. He's a one-time-and-done kind of guy, but you're not a one-time-and-done kind of girl.’ This is literally the opposite of everything Jackie has done or said previously.
When BeLl receives a check from Drew signed with his last name, Jackie makes fun of Bell insinuating it could be from Drew’s dad which Jackie finds repulsive and comments 'to each their own', but then at the end of the book she actually makes out with Drew’s dad and attends a party with him. WTF
- The girl-on-girl hate in this book is real: 'What kind of girl lets her boyfriend wait in the cold like this? If you bored of your crappy girlfriend, you know where to find me'
- Drew refers to Bel as ‘Little flower’ and 'my little wallflower' gross
- Drew: 'Nothing short of death will stop me from taking what's mine' really? You would die for raping this woman?
- During their first intercourse, which is rough and Bell bleeds because she is a virgin (full of cliches, I know), Drew thinks: 'Other men might be disgusted' So you feel superior to other men for liking 'virgin blood' and show concern about that, but not about the fact that you're coercing someone into sex? If you're so into blood maybe just find someone that wants to have sex on their period instead of basically raping virgins in the woods?
- During this encounter, Drew refuses to use a condom (sexy, I know). But don’t worry about it, because he will get her Plan B and a prescription for the pill. What a gentleman: You have no choice in this sexual encounter, I won't use a condom, but because I'm a nice guy I'll get you Plan B? Wtf Plan B has some severe side effects and causes cramps in 99% of its users, let alone that it does not protect from STD's and is not in fact as effective as using a condom in the first place.
This part of the book was a major red flag because it makes it seem like a woman's autonomy over her own body is negotiable and comparable in its importance to the male enjoying his sexual experience.
I am also not a big fan of books solely promoting ‘the pill’ as a contraceptive and being so blase about its prescription. I don’t know how it works in the US, but in my country, you have to actually visit a doctor and they have to do a check-up and ask you a series of questions because the pill is a hormonal medication and can also have severe side effects and make life-altering changes to your body. There are many other contraceptives that would probably suit her better, but obviously, Drew the Alpha male is a contraceptive expert, who does not only decide that she should take contraceptives, but he also chooses which one without her even seeing a doctor. Also, what happens after when she needs the prescription to be filled up? Will she be dependent on Drew for the contraceptive pills?
- In the rest of the book it is also made out to be something really special that Drew had sex with Bel without a condom because he would never do that with other women. After all, they might trick him into having a baby. Puke
- After this encounter in the woods, Bel blames herself because she had not stopped Drew and she could not even think of it as rape, because ‘she liked it’.
I’m sorry but that is not how consent works. You can withdraw your consent at any time and just because something feels good, does not mean that she wanted it or that she wanted it at that time or place. You can also physically orgasm without being mentally into it and vice versa.
- What Drew thinks about this: “It was dubious consent, but she could have said no.” But dubious consent literally means that an individual is not able to give meaningful consent, so her lack of a ‘no’ is not a ‘yes’ either. She did not say the word no, but she ran away from him and made other statements that would count as ‘no’ for most other people. It is also not like they agreed on a safe word or something similar to make clear where a boundary was crossed.
- Because Bel did not win the 25K during the hunt, Drew writes her a check for 10K as a consolation prize, but Bel has qualms about taking the money because she ‘hasn't earned it’. What a weird and novel concept. Would she take money if she won it in the lottery? That's also not earning it. I doubt Drew has earned any of the money that he gives her either. She's too good to take the money he wants to give her, but not too good to take part in a hunt/ rape party? Don't get me wrong, I probably wouldn't have taken Drew's money either, but solely because I would want to get as far away from him as possible and I would not want him to think that he has any power over me or that I owe him anything in exchange for the money. This theme of the heroin being so pure they have the highest principles and they can't accept money they haven't 'earned' even though they need money to survive is just a bit too much.
- After he 'punishes' her by stopping her orgasm, Mabel thinks: 'I am not good enough for him' and she thinks that is why he stopped.
- Drew says to Maybell: ‘I can like you for both of us’ after she says that she doesn’t like him
- Maybell thinks: 'Yes, he was rough with me, but he gave me pleasure' Being rough and giving pleasure do not cancel each other out, just like being nice and being mean. But being handled rough, should not be the only way to get pleasure, unless you want it to be this way.
- Some other delightful things Drew says to Maybell: ‘Your opinion doesn't matter to me’ or thinks about their relationship: ‘I don't know why she keeps fighting so hard against what we have (...) soon I won't allow her the luxury of doubting us’
- When Bell does not reply to Drew immediately while she is looking after her mother, he finds her and says 'You had to push me' – at this point of the story she owes him nothing, they don’t have any kind of relationship – why would she answer?
- At this point, Bell does not want Drew to be around, but then she tries to help him in any way she can, why?
- During a party Drew’s father basically pimps Drew out to one of his client’s daughters, Spencer. Drew first acts nice but during their second encounter, she gets more handsy and keeps kissing him even though Drew is not into it. Drew even explains to her that he is only there because he has to be and that his father told him to be nice to her, but that he is not into her. Spencer seems to be really into Drew and does not care if he is into this at all, but then gets upset when he doesn’t reciprocate. Spencer is kind of doing the same thing to Drew as Drew was doing to Maybel, but it might be even worse because Spencer seems delusional about her actions and even helps force a public engagement onto Drew. She also just starts to unbuckle his pants during a party?
- As a person who hates to read about cheating, I kind of appreciate Drew’s commitment to Bell and the fact that he is clearly not looking for other women. That being said, Drew does seem very delusional when it comes to Bell and even though he also has some nice thoughts about her, he only communicates the possessive/problematic ones. So, I am not sure how he actually manages to win Bell over. She just kind of reciprocates for no reason and just gives in, making it seem like dubious consent again. But when Spencer comes around she is clearly jealous. It would probably be good for both of them to take some time apart to understand their feelings better and maybe they will be able to communicate them after, but this back and forth will get old to read about pretty quickly.
- Drew is another male cliche that a) does not know what make-up looks like and b) shames women for wearing make-up, but of course, his Blel is different from the other girls. He thinks: ‘.. unlike Bell who doesn't seem to wear much makeup at all'
- Drew gets assaulted by his dad regularly and this is just accepted by everyone because they can’t do anything about it. Why? Surely Maybel is not the only person that has a phone with a camera or some other means to acquire proof? I don’t want to start victim blaming, but Drew is a quarterback and attends university, he full-on hates his father and has no delusions about his character. Why does he not even attempt to fight back or plot something against his father in any other way?
- One of the people Maybel tutors asks her: ‘Why are you doing this, you're at the top of the class?’ This made me roll my eyes too hard, obviously, you need to be good at a subject to be able to tutor in it. And clearly, the great time she is having with you dumbass is not the motivation, but the money you are literally paying her. This guy clearly still needs a lot of tutoring because even at university level he has not grasped the concept of tutoring.
- Drew thinks about Bell: 'She’s not special or important but she's mine'. This made me laugh because it might have been the truest and most romantic thing Drew has thought or said during this entire book. I am not sure how he arrives at the fact that she is not special, something that the readers have known all along since he's been telling us how different she is 'from all the other girls' all this time, but I am glad he has come to this conclusion.
- Bell also has a sudden realization that their back-and-forth is not sustainable and she doesn't want to continue this way. But why did she think this was sustainable and why does she suddenly think she is an agent of anything when it comes to this relationship? In actuality, nothing has changed. Drew has not given her a choice to step away from the start, what makes her think he will listen now?
- There is not one, ‘When I walk into a wall - not a wall, but a person’ cliche, but multiple
- Throughout the entire book Drew says that his father is using his mother’s illness against him, by withholding her medication if Drew does not do what he wants him to do. That (and the money) is the only reason he listens to his father. But then during one of the exchanges that get heated, he thinks: ‘He wouldn't dare to use her to get back at me’. Drew, you have been telling us about this the entire time, what delusion made you change your mind now?
- Did you forget about the secret club? – well I did. We don’t know much more apart from that it exists and it’s called the Mill; it had been so unimportant to the storyline so far that when Drew refers to his ‘commitments to the Mill’ I first thought the narrator said Mel as in Maybell
- One good thing: Maybell is finally a character realizes that realizes that she has a phone and she is actually able to use the camera to collect evidence – we don’t know what will become of this footage, but I hope it will at least be useful
- At the very end of the book Drew’s mysterious friend Sebastian defends Maybell because he thinks that Maybell is his sister. This comes after Drew actually thought that Maybell was his sister for a hot minute there…What does not make sense to me here, apart from all the sudden family ties, is if Sebastian is related to Maybell and wants to protect her, why choose now? I mean Drew has been messing with her all this time. Surely you would want to protect your sister from the hunt?

I listened to the audiobook of this book, which I would recommend to everyone who is not fully on board with this plot because it just takes up way less time if you listen at higher speeds. Unfortunately, I am not the biggest fan of the male narrator. The narrator was not whispering, but it felt to me a bit like he was trying to speak quietly while he was recording, which made it harder to hear what he was saying at a higher speed, which I normally listen to.

So even though I did not like most aspects of the book, I clearly had a lot to say about it. The book read a bit like a car crash, I didn’t enjoy listening to it, but I couldn’t put it down either. I would never take time to sit down and read further parts of this series, but I might listen to them if they are on my radar when they come out because I am just a curious audiobook listener and cannot 'look away from the car crash'.