This book starts off a bit slow but as you get to know the MC you feel a deeper connection with his life and his struggles. I found myself deeply rooting for Ezra to believe in himself. There was so much that went on in this story that it sort of felt like there was never a dull moment. His family was lovable but also very exhausting. The story made it easy to feel invested and dealt with difficult subjects quite well. This was a good read and I definitely can’t wait to see what this author writes next.

Rules for Ghosting revolves around Ezra, a Jewish trans man who just so happens to see dead people. This book had great representation of trans and queer people, but unfortunately everything else fell somewhat flat for me. This book at once had too much and not enough going on. There were so many roommates and other characters who blended together, long sections of dialogue and description that could have easily been cut down, and side plots that distracted from the overall story. I think there is certainly a type of reader this would be a hit for, but it just didn’t quite land with me!
Thank you NetGalley and publisher for the advance copy of this novel in exchange for my review!

So many feelings with this book. So much family drama and interconnected drama that they didn’t even know about. Taught my Jewish husband about a minor holiday his family doesn’t observe. That holiday had a lot of drama and uncomfortable truths told on it too.
Ezra is trans and he sees dead people. The dead people part is hard for him to disclose cause you know not everyone can see or believe in ghosts.
It gets complicated when he sees the ghost of the guy he is interested in’s husband. Loved all the relationships and the friend group was amazing!
It was interesting reading about the process and ritual before burial.
This was such a great book!

I should have known it was coming when the dedication to the book reminded eldest daughters (I am) to exhale (I did) and I felt better in a nonspecific but significant way. Then I started reading, and wow did this book cause some stress (but I’m an eldest daughter, everything does). Ezra spends the entire book carrying his world, his family’s world, and his friends/clients/LGBTQIAP+ community of Providence on his shoulders and I really felt for him. Literally. Had to exhale a few more times while reading this.

However, when all is said and done, I did really enjoy this book and I would recommend reading it! It was my first transgender romance, and while I have no frame of reference, it felt like it was done well and it won’t be my last. I’ve been making a conscious effort to step into unfamiliar territory and learn this summer, and what better way to do that than through a book? (Ok, there are probably better ways but this is a start). I loved the funeral home setting and Ezra’s ability to see ghosts as a way to add context and history. Jonathan was the perfect dreamy and patient love interest. I did resonate with the eldest daughter aspects of the book and how that often translates to family manager. This book was messy, and sweet, and I think the found family aspect will resonate with anyone who has ever had to build their life in a new way, no matter the reason.

For anyone who lived in the young adult section of their synagogue library during the Hebrew school/Sunday school weekly rotation, this book should be required reading. It has the comfort of tradition, warmth of community, and zaniness of being a member of the tribe that I always feel when I’m immersed Judaism, and it just felt familiar despite describing experiences very different than my own.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the eARC!

Rules for Ghosting was such a sweet (but not saccharine!!) romance. Even with the paranormal twist, it felt so real and grounded. This book is perfect for EARLY early fall when you can detect the slightest chill in the air.

It’s not spooky, but with an old Victorian home, ghosts, and a funeral home, it definitely gives off those cozy spooky season vibes. It’s a great one to pick up if you love a romance with some family drama thrown in the mix!

I had such a good time with Rules for Ghosting. Ezra is so relatable to me, especially in the way he loves his friends and family. This book covers many heavy topics including family dynamics, coming out, the effects of secrets, and so much more in ways that have levity, comfort, and the ability to feel like a real family's conversation. The queer and trans rep in this book is truly beautiful in how it shows real experience in building your community, a community that includes both chosen and blood family. While there is romantic and sexual love featured in this book, the true stand-out form of love in this book is the platonic love shown throughout the novel. Ezra's relationship with his friends and siblings strengthened throughout, but they are the relationships that will stick with me as I continue to reflect on this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for a digital ARC of Rules for Ghosting. Check this book out now!

Thank you NetGalley and Ballantine | Dell for this ARC Copy! 3.25 Stars

I really enjoyed this book and it does a really good job with the LGBTQ+ and mental health character representation.

From the moment we dive into this story there is a lot going on at all times, and a lot of time spent in the chaotic mind of the main character Ezra. The story is jam packed with all the family drama, death, grief, betrayals, divorce, job uncertainty, and some occasional ghosts, which were surprisingly the least dramatic part of the book somehow. All this set in Ezra's family funeral home.

There was not a moment where something wild wasn't happening, and at times it felt like it was just so much going on for me to follow, and that is really my only complaint about this book. It made it hard for my ADHD self to stay interested in the drama because it was everchanging and hard to keep track of, AND even as I type this I see how that was probably the point...

I really enjoyed getting to know the characters and watching them come out of their shells, and how they were growing to fit together as two broken pieces.

How wonderful! A cute, spooky romance. Just in time for the fall, which is perfect! i will be recommending this to my audience.

I loved the story, the world building and meeting the different characters. I felt completely immersed in the story and couldn't stop reading it. The cover is what orginal made me want to pick it up and then the title. This book was so good, fun, and honestly a really good read.

I was so excited for a ghosty story with great representation but unfortunately this story fell completely flat for me. There was way too much going on in one story but also nothing happening at the same time somehow. Long drawn out dialogues would end up being pointless which I didn’t realize until chapters later. There was so much time spent on details that ultimately didn’t matter and added nothing to the story. I wanted to like this book so badly and while I did enjoy some of the characters, it was 400 pages of over detailed scenarios when the real story could have been so much shorter and more interesting. I hate giving negative reviews but I spent a lot of time on this one thinking I’d be happy in the end. On a positive note, I can see why some liked this story! It just wasn’t for me.

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Shelly Jay Shore, and Random House Publishing for providing this free ARC. This is my honest review! This published on August 20th.

This debut offers a heartfelt story, though not as light and mystical as expected. Harper returns to her hometown after her grandmother’s death, only to inherit more than just old traditions—she’s bound to her family’s ancient magic and the spirits of the land. As she uncovers her grandmother’s secrets with the help of Elio, a botanist, Harper must confront the grief and unresolved magic standing in her way. The pacing drags at times, especially with the intricate magic system, but the emotional exploration of family, heritage, and self-discovery shines through. While not perfect, this reflective tale is full of warmth and hope, and its message about embracing both roots and new paths lingers long after the final page.

👻 This ARC was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion. Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore-Ezra Friedman can see dead people, which is an extreme occupational hazard when your family owns a funeral home. He returns to his childhood home to help the struggling family business despite his complicated relationship with it. Surprisingly he finds that it’s not the ghosts causing him trouble—it’s the living.
It’s slightly awkward when Ezra’s hot neighbor shows up for Passover seder, but his mom steals the show when she announces she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife... who just so happens to be the mother of his hot neighbor’s dead husband.

This book delivers on all fronts—beautiful, found family relationships with witty banter, a reluctant love story, lots of self-discovery and exploration, and it is packed with LGBTQ representation. Lucky for you, it’s out on August 20th! 👻

Ballantine eARC
I fell quickly for Ezra in this book. He was easy to root for and super interesting because he also sees dead people. I liked how this book took a dive into the funeral world - and a Jewish one at that. I think the darkness of those times played so well with the lightness with Ezra's family and found family. I loved Jonathan and his openness and sweet nature. This book also delves into what it means to be a trans Jewish man and it was honest and raw at times. There is also the messiness of life and relearning how to function after familial changes occur. It was a beautiful and vulnerable story that captured so much, yet was also just enough to keep this story full of heart, forgiveness, and hope.

This book is absolutely stunning. Shelly Jay Shore has crafted a believable, lovable, messy main character in Ezra, and the cast of characters that populate his life are so charming and equally lovable. I cried, I swooned, I fell in love!

Ezra has unconsciously made it his life’s mission to be everyone’s everything. The responsible sibling who can handle any emergency. The supportive grandson who hangs on his grandfather’s every word about the funeral home his family runs. The dutiful son who does all the little thankless tasks at the funeral home when necessary. With the exception of coming out as trans, Ezra has always lived life on other people’s terms. After a lifetime of Ezra molding himself into what others want, his mother drops a bombshell during the family seder: she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife. The announcement is stunning in and of itself, but her expectation that Ezra back her up out of queer solidarity is a bridge too far.

As his family implodes around him, Ezra is also trying to find how he fits in at his new apartment. With new flatmates and his ex living in the same building, he’s not sure how much it’ll feel like home. Then, of course, there’s Jonathan, Ezra’s first-floor neighbor and a stunningly attractive man. Ezra feels an instant attraction to him, but how could Ezra pursue Jonathan when Jonathan is not only a widower, but his deceased husband is the son of the woman Ezra’s mother’s been having an affair with. Staying away should have be the easiest thing, except Ezra has seen the ghosts of the departed ever since he was a small child. Now, he not only sees Ben, Jonathan’s deceased husband, but is able to engage with Ben in ways Ezra thought were impossible. As Ezra begins to interact with Ben and work through the family drama, he begins to see and understand that he needs to rethink his life’s mission.

Rules for Ghosting is a contemporary paranormal romance novel from author Shelly Jay Shore. It’s set in Providence, Rhode Island and features a broad cast of characters. Ezra is the main character and the events in the story break into three major intertwining themes: family, found family, and love. This is a story that explores how these three elements have shaped Ezra for better and for worse and takes the reader on a journey of discovery as Ezra learns how to be a family in crisis, how to find his place with his found family, and how to be loved by someone. I would absolutely encourage readers to check out the “Questions and Topics for Discussion” section prior to reading. As I went through the book, I found myself deep in reflection on some of the themes and thinking how interesting a book club discussion of this story might be. Armed with the official blurb and prepped by reading the discussion questions first, I think readers could have a transformative reading experience.

That said, I just jumped in with two feet as per usual. The story is mostly set in the present day, though there are some flashbacks to when Ezra was a small child following his grandfather around the funeral home run by his family. I loved having this insight into Ezra’s past and the way the author so beautifully and (seemingly) effortlessly establishes Ezra’s trans identity, especially in the first part of the story. Later in the story, I felt like there was a pronounced focus on Ezra’s physical body as a trans man and there was an abstract quality to the on-page love scenes. I think this mix of specificity and abstraction got me engaging with the material and Ezra as a character more deeply than more explicit sex scenes.

Speaking of romance, the chemistry between Ezra and Jonathan was palpable. They first meet at the funeral home when Ezra’s been brought in to take over the job his mother had been doing and where Jonathan had been volunteering for a few years. They dance around each other and the prospect of something more. Their romance wasn’t a slow burn so much as a slow simmer. I really enjoyed the scenes where they’re alone together talking about life and, later, trying to figure out why Jonathan’s ex is haunting Ezra. All this leads to bigger picture talks about what they want and what they deserve, and of them learning how to open up to each other about these private desires that maybe shouldn’t be private when it comes to your life partner.

Ezra’s found family are all delightful and occupy a significant portion of the book. I thought these characters provided a lovely sense of community and belonging, and were a great way of showing how Ezra grows as a character. Over the course of the book, we see Ezra shift from only seeing himself as friends with Ollie (his ex) to building friendships with his own roommates and with others that live in his apartment building. While all that simmers in the background, Ezra’s biological family goes through upheaval after Ezra’s mother declares her love for the rabbi’s wife. There was so much love and support and family-slog (checking in on siblings, discussing how to help your adult parents, dealing with your own and other family members’ grief/anger) in the story, I felt like this theme eclipsed the found family.

The family drama bomb also brought a darker theme: vilifying the two mother characters. As I read, I just kept feeling like Ezra, his siblings, and Jonathan all seemed to relish blaming the two women (Ezra’s mother and Jonathan’s deceased husband’s mother) for falling in love. Granted, the women were conducting their affair behind their respective spouses’ backs, but I found myself a little infuriated at characters who bend over backwards to show and encourage love and acceptance for some people, but incongruously think, say, and expect the worst for others. For example, everyone is extraordinarily chill when Ezra reveals that he can see ghosts, but no one questions what drove Ezra’s mother into the arms of another woman. That, for me, was one big hiccup in an otherwise delightful story.

Overall, I thought Rules for Ghosting was an amazing read. The themes of family, found family, and romance all intertwine with each other so beautifully. Ezra has clear connections to each of these groups, connections that Jonathan actually echoes. If you’re looking for an intense character exploration told from the perspective of a trans man, this is an excellent title. Readers who are fans of character-driven stories and love seeing community and family come together through communication will also find this extremely satisfying.

Rules for Ghosting centers on Ezra, who can see ghosts—but that's just one aspect of his life. Ezra has a lot on his plate, including being the go-to person for his family, which is dealing with plenty of its own challenges. His family runs a funeral home, and Ezra finds himself back working there. Despite the premise, this is a quirky story that explores themes of love, grief, and family with warmth and humor.

Thank you to NetGalley/Ballantine Books for a copy of Rules for Ghosting in exchange for an honest review.

Shelly Jay Shore’s Rules for Ghosting is a lot. But that’s by no means a bad thing.

Ezra is one of those protagonists you simultaneously love and want to shake. He acts put-upon, but it’s mostly of his own doing. But, at the end of the day, you feel for him. He’s just trying his best, and he was dealt a pretty tough hand in life. I wouldn’t want to deal with seeing ghosts, especially while dealing with being trans in the world we live in.

Rules for Ghosting does an excellent job of weaving its Jewish elements together with its supernatural ones. They’re actually not always so different. Ezra often seems to want to run away from both — or, at the very least, only minimally accept them. Throughout the book, he finds a comfort level in both those identities.

Ezra’s family life is also seamlessly integrated into the novel. The TV show Six Feet Under is kind of the benchmark for “family runs funeral home,” but Shore’s story is so different, and for how “messed up” the Friedmans are, the love shines through. It’s refreshing to read a family work through their problems rather than fall apart. While that’s not to say it isn’t OK for families to go no-contact, so much of millennial culture is about just that. Families of origin can work out the tough stuff, and Rules for Ghosting represents that well.


For all its seemingly disparate parts, Rules for Ghosting comes together into one strong, magical novel. And Ezra is the rock who carries the whole thing. Whether you’re cheering for him or ready to throw a book at him, he’ll endlessly fascinate you. Little details, such as the fact that he constantly wears his binder for several hours longer than he should and that he’s a doula, make him feel real.

I highly recommend this novel.

Rules for Ghosting is out now. You can pick up a copy on bookshop.org or at your local library.

I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy this book, but I loved it. Poignant and funny at the same time, it was a delightful read. I look forward to more from this author.

Thank you to NetGalley, PRH Audio and Ballantine Books
for providing me with this book for free in exchange for my review! I was also lucky enough to receive an ALC from the Penguin Random House Audio Influencer Program. @prhaudio #PRHAudio #PRHAudioInfluencer
All opinions are my own.

This was a delightful read for the upcoming spooky season. With that being said, I almost think the family drama took up more of the story than the ghost and romance part. However, I don't think that was necessarily a bad thing. I also enjoyed the queer representation of Ezra, and I thought he was a very well written MMC.

The book was narrated by Petey Gibson and I thought he did a great job bringing the characters to life. I wasn't familar with his voice as a narrator but I would listen to more books narrated by him iin the future.

Overall this was a heartfelt and delightful read for spooky season.

Many Thanks again to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with this book in exchange for my honest review.

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This is a humorous, touching, and incredibly charming blend of romance and ghost story. This remarkable book delves into loss, mortality, romantic relationships, the difficulties and demands of being the eldest daughter, and the existence of ghosts.