This book is so well written and engaging, I could not put it down! I loved every single character in the book and found myself engrossed in this very compelling story. While the subject matter was in fact quite heavy, it was told in such a beautiful matter that it felt light-hearted and hopeful. I’m going to be thinking and raving about this book for a long time!

I read this book when grieving and I found it to be both something of soft confrontation for buried feelings and the sense of being seen. There are sometimes too many plotlines going at once, but 'Rules for Ghosting' has this magic combination of love, loss, complex grief and the rumminations that grief brings up, that all overcome the oversaturation. It's a reflective narrative, both for the reader and the characters, and one I feel better for having read it.

I am the eldest daughter, eldest granddaughter, eldest great-granddaughter in my very Jewish family. I am also one of the only queer people in my family. From the dedication, I felt this story in my bones. There are not enough stories that showcase Jewish love, Jewish guilt, and all the little nuances in between. Rules For Ghosting helps fill in that gap. This book made me laugh out loud and made me sob. I am still crying as I type this review out. It has been a long time since I have loved a novel with the fervor of how much I love this novel. I was texting everyone to read this book when i was only about 20% of the way in, that's how good I knew it was. The characters are so beautiful and so fleshed out, I loved spending time in their world filled with love and connectiveness. This isn't a horror type of ghost story. This is the story of the ghosts in our lives, the ghosts of the dead and the ghosts of the living. Shelly Jay Shore writes a haunting beautiful novel (pun intended!) and it felt like home.

If you're ready to take one a complicated, but beautiful queer Jewish love story, pick up Rules for Ghosting ASAP! The description made me think this would be a little more rom-com-y, which it wasn't, but I still thought it was phenomenal. The wit and humor reminded me a lot of This is Where I leave you by Johnathan Tropper.

I am so grateful to Dell and NetGalley for granting me access to this powerful debut from Shelly Jay Shore.

I wasn't sure what I would end up getting with this one. It sounded like it had an interesting storyline but in the end I wasnt the biggest fan. It's still a solid story that many will like. The story starts off meeting several of the characters and then moving forward 20 ish years. This one is a story of love, loss, grief, strength to move on. The pacing of this one didn't help that I wasnt totally hooked and overall it just felt okay. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC in exchange for my honest opinion.

This story had SO many plot lines yet somehow was not at all complicated. The themes that were most prevalent were: a) the supernatural element since Ezra could see ghosts, b) the queer elements, c) the Jewish culture elements, d) the family drama, and e) the romance between Ezra and Jonathan. Everything was layered so nicely and not once seemed there was too much going on. The author also did an awesome job of laying out the trans and Jewish culture elements throughout the story instead of giving dictionary definitions, which was also just seamless.

I expected this to be a lighthearted romance type novel, but got SO much more out of this. This is more of a family drama, with paranormal elements, queer identity subplots, and a realistic look at the complexities of loving people in our lives who we may not like or agree with, but love them despite it.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC.

I don't have enough words for how much I loved this book. I am genuinely struggling to capture how I felt while reading this - just know that as soon as I finished, I wanted to start the book again, because I fell so deeply in love with these characters and the world that Shelly Jay Shore crafted.

This is a romance, yes, but more than that, it's a book about learning to let others in, learning to ask for and accept help, and accepting that you don't need to be everything for everyone if it means sacrificing your own well being. Shore dedicates the book to eldest daughters, both current and former, in a nod to Ezra's complicated identity: Ezra is a trans man who can't shed the caretaker role within his family dynamic. He feels protective of his family, especially his siblings, and constantly puts his own well-being aside in order to try to help them. He brings this same baggage to his developing connection with Jonathan, the attractive widower who lives downstairs. Oh, and there's one other issue: Ezra can see ghosts, including the spirit of Jonathan's deceased husband.

The book has themes of family, both the complicated dynamics of nuclear families and the comfort and ease that we seek through found families; queer, and specifically trans, identity; and the struggle to ask for and receive help when you have been a caretaker all your life. There's one scene in particular, where another character asks Ezra if they're okay, and the resulting realization -- that he's not sure if anyone has ever genuinely asked them that, or if he's ever responded honestly -- was so resonant. The physical reaction, battling back tears, trying to hold himself together, is a near-perfect recreation of a moment I remember vividly from my own life. If any of this rings true to you, I suspect you will also treasure this story.

Rules for Ghosting may be one of the best books I've read so far in 2024. I loved it and I can't wait to see what this author does next.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore 5/5 🪦

This book!!! I loved this and pretty much everything about it.

I loved Ezra’s character and him processing and overcoming the eldest daughter syndrome (bc same). I found his relationship with Jonathan to be so good even with the challenges. The family drama was wild but in a believable way and I found the discussion of death (bc funeral home and death rites) to be written so well.

I loved the found family with his friends and roommates and I loved that Ezra was a doula. This played a nice opposite to his family owning a funeral home. I also loved how open ended the story was!

If you enjoy paranormal romances, I think you’ll love this one!

Thank you to the author, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for the ARC!

#rulesforghosting #netgalley #booksbooksbooks #shellyjayshore #funeral #doula

I was looking forward to a good ghost story but this wasn’t it and had a lot going on. I had high hopes but it fell short.

Thank you to Shelly Jay Shore and Random House Publishing Group via NetGalley for the eARC of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

“Rules for Ghosting” is a perfectly good book that I think many people will enjoy. I found the central love story to be heartwarming. I absolutely loved the love interest and thought he was the sweetest and most level-headed person. I also like Ezra, the main character. He’s flawed in a very understandable and sympathetic way. I loved reading the love story.

Unfortunately, everything outside the love story didn’t do it for me. I just couldn’t make myself be interested in the fate of the funeral home or Ezra’s parents marriage.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore is a poignant exploration of life, love, and healing that seamlessly weaves humor and emotion. With a tender touch, Shore delivers a captivating tale brimming with sorrow, happiness, and longing. At its core, this novel portrays a tender love story centered around a beautiful, queer, Jewish relationship. Rules for Ghosting will evoke both laughter and tears, perhaps even simultaneously, leaving a lasting impact on its readers.

Thank you Netgalley and Ballentine for the free e-book. My opinions are being left voluntarily. I really likes this super unique fresh book. It's thebmost interesting and unique book I've read in a long time. You are rooting for everyone but especially the MCs.

Fabulous debut.

4.5/5☆

This was such a cute read! While there were moments that got heavy, i think Shelly did an excellent job tying together the elements of this story. While conflicted and sometimes complicated, the characters of this book were all so lovable, even when you didn't want to love them. What a great way to lead the kick off into spooky season!

Thanks to Random House Publishing Group/Ballantine for providing me with an eARC of this title.

<b>I received an advanced copy for review. </b>

Rules for Ghosting
👻 Found family (house full of friends)
👻 Family drama (ohhh boy this one is a doozy!)
👻 Ghosts (family members and the new LI's dead ex??)
👻 Super diverse queer rep

(This is a chaotic review, please bear with me.)

In an author's note, Shelly Jay Shore mentions their desire to write a ghost story that wasn't scary, and I think Rules for Ghosting really nails that. While there certainly are romantic elements, I would almost hesitate to call it a true romance, just based on the amount of time we spend in Ezra's head and with his family vs. the time we spend with Ezra and Jonathan. That didn't detract from my enjoyment of it, but I do think that if you go into this expecting Capital R Romance, that isn't quite what we get.

That said, a big queer found family is one of my absolute favorite tropes (trope feels like the wrong word here, but I can't immediately come up with anything better), and this is exactly what I want in that story element! A whole bunch of queer folks in a big house, sharing lives and meals and drama, a big messy group chat, and overwhelming love and support. It doesn't really get better than that.

And Ezra's family WOW they are something. When Ezra's mom makes her big pronouncement during Seder of all things, GEEZE LOUISE, the drama. It was cinematic. Actually, this would make a fun movie!

Anyway, I really enjoyed this book, and if you're looking for something non-scary but still ghosty for spooky season, I absolutely recommend it!

Thanks to Netgalley, Random House Publishing Group, and Shelly Jay Shore for the ARC. This is my own opinion.

4.5/5 ⭐️

A cute and different romance! I loved the way that Jewish traditions were included in this, the way the author wrote about Ezra as a trans character, and I love a lil found family moment. This had a lot going on at some points and was a bit long for my taste, but I enjoyed this and would definitely pick up whatever Shore puts out next!

An obvious 5-star read for me. A well rounded story that was more than just a romance but also touched on grief, complicated family dynamics, LGBTQIA + inclusive religion, gender identity, and a hint of fantasy with ghosts being involved. I cried multiple times for all sorts of emotions and also laughed out loud more than once.

This book was so heart warming and enchanting and answers the question "What would a queer and Jewish version of The Dead Romantics be like?" I love a messy storyline and this one drew me in from the beginning. Ezra has put the weight of his family on his shoulders, some of it given to him and some of it he picked up on his own. On top of being the mediator of his parents, watching out for his younger sister, and stepping up to fill voids left from his older brother he's kept secret that he's been able to see ghosts for the past 20 years. In the midst of family turmoil, we see how Ezra responds and move forward when the weight has gotten heavy enough to break him. Johnathan is such a sweetheart and I loved getting to see how he opens heart for Ezra while still navigating his complicated feelings of his grief after Ben's death.

A beautiful story about the circle of birth and death, grief, found family, Jewish customs, gender identity, and opening yourself up to love! Thank you Dell and NetGalley for this arc of Rules for Ghosting!

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which is problematic if your family runs a funeral home. As soon as he could, he got out of the family business and ran away, as fast as he could. Unfortunately for him, there are ghosts everywhere. But when he gets furloughed from his dream job, and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself back working at the family business. With his parents’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother’s shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see. Also, there’s his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer . . . who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra’s new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan’s gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule that Ezra knows. Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he realizes that there’s more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.

I have to admit, this book wasn't what I was expecting. It started out as a bit of a paranormal comedy or a rom-com, which is what the description sounded like, but then it turned into an angsty romance/family drama with ghosts. Ezra was so wishy-washy and exhausting, I don't have a clue why Jonathan kept chasing after him. The pacing was very slow, and there just didn't seem to be much of a plot. On the positives, it did address LGBTQ+ issues as Ezra was transitioning, and I enjoyed learning about the various Jewish customs. Overall, I give this a solid 3 out of 5.

Rules for Ghosting was a debut that, after reading, made me curious for what Shelly Jay Shore would publish next.

Ezra is the only one out of their family that can see ghosts. But they can't talk to ghosts, until one talks to them. That ghost? Ezra's new crush's dead husband. They are obligated to help their family out in a time of crisis but never signed up to also fall in love with the funeral home's volunteer- Johnathan. But what they don't realize is that Johnathan and his ghost are put in his way for a reason, one that'll change his whole perspective on the meaning of love and ghosts.

Ghosting is a solid debut for those looking for a dash of romance but more of a family drama plotline. While I found the romance to be intriguing, what I was more focused on was the events going down with the family and the messiness of it all. I enjoyed learning more about the Jewish burial customs and found myself wanting to know if this was realistic/what actually occurs. The biggest "aha oh snap" moments for me occurred when drama was happening with Ezra and their family. But overall- a book from an author where I want to read their next book and see where they take it, especially because the reading world is lacking in LGBTQ family drama novels.