An obvious 5-star read for me. A well rounded story that was more than just a romance but also touched on grief, complicated family dynamics, LGBTQIA + inclusive religion, gender identity, and a hint of fantasy with ghosts being involved. I cried multiple times for all sorts of emotions and also laughed out loud more than once.

This book was so heart warming and enchanting and answers the question "What would a queer and Jewish version of The Dead Romantics be like?" I love a messy storyline and this one drew me in from the beginning. Ezra has put the weight of his family on his shoulders, some of it given to him and some of it he picked up on his own. On top of being the mediator of his parents, watching out for his younger sister, and stepping up to fill voids left from his older brother he's kept secret that he's been able to see ghosts for the past 20 years. In the midst of family turmoil, we see how Ezra responds and move forward when the weight has gotten heavy enough to break him. Johnathan is such a sweetheart and I loved getting to see how he opens heart for Ezra while still navigating his complicated feelings of his grief after Ben's death.

A beautiful story about the circle of birth and death, grief, found family, Jewish customs, gender identity, and opening yourself up to love! Thank you Dell and NetGalley for this arc of Rules for Ghosting!

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which is problematic if your family runs a funeral home. As soon as he could, he got out of the family business and ran away, as fast as he could. Unfortunately for him, there are ghosts everywhere. But when he gets furloughed from his dream job, and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself back working at the family business. With his parents’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother’s shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see. Also, there’s his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer . . . who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra’s new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan’s gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule that Ezra knows. Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he realizes that there’s more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.

I have to admit, this book wasn't what I was expecting. It started out as a bit of a paranormal comedy or a rom-com, which is what the description sounded like, but then it turned into an angsty romance/family drama with ghosts. Ezra was so wishy-washy and exhausting, I don't have a clue why Jonathan kept chasing after him. The pacing was very slow, and there just didn't seem to be much of a plot. On the positives, it did address LGBTQ+ issues as Ezra was transitioning, and I enjoyed learning about the various Jewish customs. Overall, I give this a solid 3 out of 5.

Rules for Ghosting was a debut that, after reading, made me curious for what Shelly Jay Shore would publish next.

Ezra is the only one out of their family that can see ghosts. But they can't talk to ghosts, until one talks to them. That ghost? Ezra's new crush's dead husband. They are obligated to help their family out in a time of crisis but never signed up to also fall in love with the funeral home's volunteer- Johnathan. But what they don't realize is that Johnathan and his ghost are put in his way for a reason, one that'll change his whole perspective on the meaning of love and ghosts.

Ghosting is a solid debut for those looking for a dash of romance but more of a family drama plotline. While I found the romance to be intriguing, what I was more focused on was the events going down with the family and the messiness of it all. I enjoyed learning more about the Jewish burial customs and found myself wanting to know if this was realistic/what actually occurs. The biggest "aha oh snap" moments for me occurred when drama was happening with Ezra and their family. But overall- a book from an author where I want to read their next book and see where they take it, especially because the reading world is lacking in LGBTQ family drama novels.

What a beautiful story of life, death, and the veil of love between the two. Rich with delicate prose, carefully wrought grief and Jewish culture, Rules for Ghosting is an absolutely beautiful story that had me crying tears of both grief and joy. I loved our MCs and how fully realised each one was - Jon, Ezra and Ben, each of them an intrinsic part of the story. Definitely one of those stories that grips you from the first page and doesn’t let you go. I’ll be thinking about it for a long time to come!

A very touching and moving read. Ezra was a great main character. I do wish there had been slightly more inner monologue from him. Enjoyed the overall theme and plot.

This is a lovely, heartfelt book, falling more in line with a romantic drama than a swoon worthy rom-com. The literal ghosts in this story are more bittersweet than scary, and the romance is also bittersweet as characters learn to rely on each other and live with the things that metaphorically haunt them. I adore Ezra’s chosen family and his messy but loving and supportive biological family. This is a beautiful look into the cross sectionality of queer & trans Jewish people and a reflection on universal themes of self-acceptance, forgiveness, community, and love of all kinds.

A wonderful story about love and grief. The interesting premise and lovable characters made for a really enjoyable read. The story was heartwarming and funny but still felt like it has substance to it. This story highlights the importance of family in the midst of family drama, second chances, and self acceptance. I enjoyed every second I spent reading this story and was sad when it ended as I wanted to continue reading about these characters.

This was such a lovely read. I adore stories with a strong found family aspect and this really hit the spot. It deals with grief and loss in a really beautiful way. I really loved the slow burn romance between Ezra and Jonathan.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ballantine for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This fucking book had me with the feelings all over the place. The family dynamics and the fact that he can see ghost. Like it was so interesting how it all worked out, especially the end. I loved these characters.

I got an e-arc of this book on NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

"Rules for Ghosting" is a delightful blend of wit and supernatural intrigue. The story's clever mix of humor and haunting elements kept me engaged from start to finish. While the pacing felt a bit uneven at times, the characters' charm and the unique premise make it a standout read.

This debut novel has A LOT going on.
Between the family drama, moving in with his ex, being furloughed, and dealing with a severe case of eldest daughter syndrome (which knows no gender), Ezra really doesn’t need to be seeing ghosts, especially not the dead husband of his hot, new neighbor, Jonathan.
This was not the ghosty romcom I expected; it is much more! Ezra’s story is a beautiful examination of grief and love and the careful balance of when to let go and when to hold on tight.
I especially appreciated the look into Jewish traditions and rituals and the cast of supporting side characters.

I loved this! This was a cute little read with no super high stakes here and that’s just exactly what you need sometimes!

As a debut, this was wonderful. I felt like the characters were fully fleshed out and Shore was showing us who they are and not just telling us. I also was surprised by most of the little twists and turns in the story which I feel like I typically see coming. I really felt like Shore embraced how messy real life and real grief can be and integrated it into this and then threw in a few ghosts for good measure.

This is great if you’re looking for: LGBTQIA+, found family, trans main character, Jewish main character/family/culture, magic realism, not scary ghosts

I’ve seen a lot of other reviews saying they wanted a ghost story and were disappointed but I feel like the cutesy cover and title should represent that while there’s some ghosts in here it’s not a spooky ghost story and it’s not trying to be!

Thank you to Shelly Jay Shore, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine, and NetGalley for the ARC of this book!

4/5 ⭐️

This is a ghost story, a Jewish family drama, and a queer love story all wrapped up in one book. I had a lot of fun reading this and loved getting to see Ezra's journey from being haunted by the dead to living his life fully and without reservations. Jonathan and Ezra's chemistry was off the charts, and for a book that includes the ghost of Jonathan's deceased husband, there wasn't any unnecessary third-act breakup drama. It's a contemporary romance book first, but there are so many wonderful characters, both in Ezra's family and friends, that really adds something extra.

I look forward to reading whatever Shore comes out with next as this was a great debut novel.

Thank you to NetGalley, Shelly Jay Shore, and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine for my early access to this.

The writing in Rules for Ghosting was so beautiful and full of emotion - grieving, discovery, pockets of big and small joy against the chaos of a normal life. I loved getting to see Ezra make peace with his own life, with the literal ghosts he sees and also give himself permission to rest and to feel and just be loved. I wanted to know Jonathon, our love interest, a little more; the scenes where we did get more from him were some of my favorites. The characters were all really interesting and well-written that at times the plot seemed to take me away from getting to know and spend time with them, but overall a really excellent read. If you enjoyed The Dead Romantics, I think the heart in this book will definitely speak to you!

Rules For Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore is profoundly emotional and moving, a story that delves into the nature of grief, of change, of relationships in a way few other narratives have accomplished. In the novel, Ezra not only is a psychic who sees ghosts but he is also transgender which leads to complicated emotions with his family and patterns of behavior that cause him to run away from those feelings. The novel takes you on a journey as Ezra learns to embrace his feelings, his fears and change the patterns of his life.
The novel creates a conversation about what it truly means to live and to embrace who you are. It also explores grief in some complex and interesting ways as not only Ezra but also Jonathan have to explore that grief in order to move on and embrace life. I love the relationships in this story, not only between Jonathan and Ezra but also between Ezra and Ben, Ezra and his family, both his immediate family but also his chosen family, his friends. The story explores all the various ways families can come together, not just biological but also found family and it is beautifully handled.
If you like stories that are complex and delve into family in multiple ways, this novel is unique, dealing with layers of emotion and exploring grief in a very different way from other novels. The idea of a found family is also beautiful and the story is profoundly emotional but has a rich, powerful ending.

While I can't say it was a good ghost story, I did like some of the characters. I love a book with an interesting premise and Rules for Ghosting is definitely that.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore was a charming paranormal rom-com story.
It was a great story with well developed characters.
I was hooked from the very beginning, and the characters and setting made me stay engrossed in every page. I loved it.

Thank You NetGalley and Random House, Ballantine & Dell for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

Rules for Ghosting looks like a light, spooky rom com, but it's none of those things. Instead, it's a family dramedy revolving around a Jewish funeral home and starring Ezra, a trans man with a bad case of what his best friend wryly calls "Eldest Daughter Syndrome."

Of course, there is a romance, and there are ghosts. There's also a sweet found family, a late in life coming out, and a really interesting and impressively low-angst interplay between gender-specific Jewish rituals and Ezra's gender identity. But none of those elements are the center of the story, which instead revolves around the main character's relationship with his family and his acceptance of himself.

I enjoyed this story from start to finish. Although I could tell pretty quickly that it wasn't the quick read I was expecting, Ezra's thoughtful narration drew me right into the story and - although it's on the long side, with a somewhat meandering pace - I read eagerly to the end.

Where Rules for Ghosting really excels is its ability to explore darkness - the love interest's husband is dead, the main character sees ghosts, and the characters' backstories contain a number of traumatic episodes - without getting sucked into it. I was worried that reading about a funeral home would feel morbid or depressing but it was the opposite; the family's respectful handling of their work was admirable, and the story itself was uplifting and life-affirming.

Rules for Ghosting provides a window into grief, love and loss done with a heightened sense of understanding the complexity and added layers to all themes involves. This book is so beautifully written. It touches the parts that we often keep hidden due to society's expectations or the ones we put upon ourselves to be accepted or to merely just get through another day. It uses dark humor in the best way and in true Jewish form, reminds us that laughter is often the best medicine in hard times. As an added layer, this is also a book about acceptance as the main character is part of the LGBTQIA community. The main character, Ezra, goes through a journey and at its core, this is a story of acceptance and family, whether that be the one you were born with or the one that you choose.

Ezra sees dead people...but really...and growing up hanging around his family's funeral home was nothing short of interesting! Seeing ghosts was always something that Ezra kept a secret. They didn't bother him, per se, mainly because they never talked and never wandered. That is, until Ezra moves into a new apartment with the handsome widow next door (Jonathan) and meets his late husband's ghost (Ben). When Jonathan shows up at Ezra's parents seder and a family announcement turns Ezra's family on its head, Ezra is thrust into working for his family's funeral home, trying to pick up the pieces of a broken family along with the pieces of himself.

Thank you so much, Random House Publishing Group and NetGalley, for this wonderful ARC! I enjoyed it so much!