I could not be more impressed with this debut novel. Shelly Jay Shore was able to marry paranormal, queer, and rom com so beautifully that I couldn’t put it down from the first page. The story of Ezra and his family and friends is tender, utterly human, funny and obviously written with a lot of thought and love.

I genuinely appreciated the Jewish culture and customs that were imbued throughout the story. While death is a main theme, the book did not feel heavy but heartwarming.

This is a five star read!

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group/Ballantine and NetGalley for this amazing ARC!

RULES FOR GHOSTING is a queer paranormal romance about ezra, a reluctant clairvoyant who finds himself working in his family's funeral home, where he most definitely does not want to be. and to make things worse, he starts seeing the ghost of his neighbor's husband—the same neighbor who happens to be very cute and very interested in ezra.

i went into this book anticipating a fun romcom, but this book was a lot heavier than i had expected it to be. that being said, i still absolutely enjoyed every second of it. i loved the found family ezra had in his roommates (and the queer culture of it all, living with your ex-boyfriend who you're still friends with). ezra and jonathan had great chemistry and i loved seeing their relationship develop, though i felt like we didn't spend enough time in the early stages of it. but overall, it was still a very enjoyable read and i had a great time!

read if you like:
- jewish family dynamics
- queer found family
- the cutest dog named sappho

thanks to netgalley and dell for the advance copy. RULES FOR GHOSTING comes out august 20.

I definitely enjoyed this book, though it was a bit heavier than I expected of a romance that contained paranormal aspects. My only real critiques are that I feel like the book could’ve been shorter than it was based on the plot driven content and that there were a lot of side characters that were all half developed instead of a few side characters with some depth. Though the second one could be more of a personal preference- I’m not a huge fan of being told how great relationships are in books, I want to be able to see the character connections through what I read! I was a huge fan of the representation in this book, and I liked learning more about Jewish holidays! Ezra was also a very relatable and lovable main character. Oh- I also wish there was more about Ezra’s job as a doula since that was his passion, I feel like we only really heard about the funeral home- which was work he dreaded.

I initially picked up this book expecting a queer, ghosty, romcom, but instead found a complex story around grief, family drama, and queer love--all intertwined with some ghosty elements!

Ezra grew up working in his family's funeral home, surrounded by ghosts that no one else could see. Now, after getting furloughed from his job and dealing with the implosion of his parents' marriage, Ezra returns to working in his family's funeral home in order to help save the struggling business. After stepping into his mom's role at the funeral home, Ezra soon develops a crush on Jonathan, one of the new volunteers who also happens to be his new downstairs neighbor. As Ezra begins navigating strained family dynamics as well as a new job and housing situation, he notices the ghost of man... the ghost of Jonathan's late husband, Ben, who keeps showing up and breaking all of Ezra's ghosty rules.

I loved this story so much. I loved the trans MC representation and the themes around grief and family. I also appreciated learning about Jewish customs around various holidays as well as the handling of death. Overall, I found this story to be so beautiful and loved every character in this story.

Thank you so much to the publisher and to NetGalley for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

This a well written novel, but overall, I found myself wanting more from the story. I don't usually this genre, but I decided to give it a chance. I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and read this ghostly novel. I didn't really care for the romantic love story, just not my cup of tea, but this book was fun and breezy. I think a lot of people will enjoy this. The cover art is absolutely beautiful.

I went into Rules for Ghosting expecting a sweet, queer romance with a fun paranormal sub-plot, but this story is so much more. Ezra and Jonathan have such depth not just in their relationship, but as individuals. Often times, I feel like a lot of romance novel MCs lack depth of identity outside the relationship, but that is absolutely not the case here. Ezra and Jonathan are both such flawed and complex characters, yet you can’t help but want the best for each of them.

Another thing that surprised me was how much of the story was centered around Ezra’s family members. It makes all the sense in the world, given that Ezra’s entire identity is wrapped up in being enough for other people even at the expense of his own well-being. Ezra’s family’s problems are inseparable from his own— an insight that really helps the reader understand his character and make sense of the way he interacts with Jonathan/his roommates.

The story is full of queer representation of all kids, but prominently trans rep as Ezra the MMC is a trans man. Found family is in abundance. Endearing characters all around. Rules for Ghosting is a beautiful story of queer love, grief, complex family relationships, and the fine line between life and death.

Review will be shared to my Bookstagram account on the evening of August 8th and is live on Goodreads at the time this feedback has been submitted.

This is a debut novel?! Incredible! There were times in this book I was CONNECTED. Like, literally cried. The dialogue in this book was *chefs kiss*. I’m also surprised at how funny I found this book. Such an awesome book if you’re looking for LGB(T)Q representation. I cannot wait for this to hit shelves, it is a must read! The world needs more Jonathan’s! My one gripe is that it seemed a bit long than really warranted, but I can live with that.

I really loved the trans rep in this book and also how this book dealt with such heavy emotional topics like grief. I just think following a main character who is a mortician is such a fun concept.

This book was sadly a bit of a disappointment because it started so strong and then went downhill. For the first third of the book it felt like this author was going to give me the humor and self actualization that I love in Casey McQuistion and K T Hoffman books. However, post set up everything felt super unfocused. There needed to be far more time spent on Ezra and Johnathan before the 50% mark. I needed more scenes of them bonding and demonstrating their chemistry so that I would root for Ezra to work through his personal hang up’s. Since it didn’t feel like we fleshed out Ezra’s fear of commitment enough in that first half, it just felt like the romance was drawn out and going nowhere.

I thought the family conflict was interesting and there was some good drama in that. But, because it was so compelling I’m confused why we had the roommates and the group chat. The texting aspect was barely used when it could have been a great way to do some speedy exposition or get a little epistolary romance going. I think that Ezra should have just been living with Nina and Ollie, all the other roommates felt pointless and like too many characters to juggle.

Finally, I hate to say it but I think all the ghost stuff was pointless and removing it would make the book more compelling. We get this whole set up that Ben’s ghost is unique but he doesn’t show up much and the reveal he can speak happens far too late. It felt wild that Ezra didn’t interrogate at all why Ben’s ghost was unlike any he’s met before. The thing is that the conflict between Ezra and Johnathan could have happened without Ben’s ghost existing. I think that if the author wanted the ghost stuff to stick around they needed to drop the funeral home failure or the cheating parent plot line. There were just too many plots fighting for dominance in this book and as a result it’s selling points, ghosts and romance, get pushed aside.

I think that this author had some interesting ideas and solid prose so I really hope the next book is a hit for me.

Thanks to the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This was a story primarily about grief and family dynamics. I learned a lot about Jewish funeral customs which I had zero knowledge prior to this book. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this book at first but after I got into it I couldn’t put it down. I loved the journey of our MMC Ezra (he can see ghosts!!) and guess what? Ezra can see the ghost of Jonathan (our other MMC) dead husband. I don’t wanna say much more to avoid spoilers so read this if you want to celebrate Jewish and queer love!

Haunted funeral home
Queer friend group
Found family
Hurt/comfort

Overall rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It took me a long time after reading it to review this book, and I think it’s a testament to how much this book has managed to linger despite the fact that I read it in one sitting. As a queer Jewish person, it’s rare to feel so seen in a story while simultaneously able to escape into the fantasy of it all, and this book allows for that in a way I’ve never experienced. The romance the author developed felt so raw and real. I laughed, and I cried, and then I laughed some more, and I tried again. Please print this in hardcover so I can have a sturdy copy on my shelf. I’m not much of a rereader, but I can’t wait to reread this. Despite its fantasy elements, this book tells such a human story—romance, grief, and the wacky intensity of Jewish families.

Ok, so when you read the blurb you think oh he's cute, he's a lil whacky and quirky and is giving the drama but then you read and it's 100% giving all of the above but also more depth than you can imagine!!!! How can you not resist! Ezra has the weight of the world on his shoulders and these hot funeral home volunteers, messssssy family, and bad boy ghosts breaking the rules are just adding double to his work load. I seriously have 0 negative notes. He was fun, he was a damn good time with a little bit of "touch my heart moments" and I am telling youuuuuuuu books with representation likes these make my world go rounddddd.

My 1 itty bitty lil quirk is that this book could be marketed as a romance but the romance was more of a sub plot, it does touch on queer love but more about navigating the world differently not just in love love but friendship and family love.

This book offers a genuine look at grief but balances it with humor and love. It celebrates Jewish and Queer joy in a unique way and is perfect for readers who want to explore fantasy without diving in too deep. I think the patrons at my library will definitely enjoy this book.

Because Ezra, our protagonist, is a member of a family that owns a Jewish funeral home, I now know a lot more about Jewish customs around death than I did a few days ago. But the specifics are almost beside the point -- Rules for Ghosting is about grief; about tenderness toward the dead; about transitions of all kinds (Ezra and his best friend, Nina, are both trans, but there are plenty of other transitions here: transitions in how families are shaped, and emotional transitions -- from being locked in grief, to re-entering life after the death of a partner). An especially moving transition is that of Ben, the ghost whose haunting of Ezra is central to Ezra's transition from "son whom family depends on to mediate everything and fix everything and step into every crisis" to "competent son who can love freely and by the way asks for help when help is needed."

Rules for Ghosting is told in present tense, which I don't object to in principle but which I do associate with books aimed at a younger audience than this. The book is certainly *appropriate* for young adults -- I think older trans teens, queer teens generally, and teens dealing with grief of various kinds will take it to their hearts -- but all the main characters are full post-college-age adults, so the choice of present tense pitches the book's tone in the wrong direction.

Rules for Ghosting wobbles at the outset; about 50 pages in, it found its footing, and after that I was immersed in the story of Ezra's relationship with Jonathan and with Ben, the ghost of Jonathan's husband, whose unfinished business includes the wish to see Jonathan believing in a future that includes love again. Then, toward the end, there's a slew of what you might call administrative stuff about the finances of Ezra's family funeral home, which wasn't super fascinating in itself and which also relied heavily on the insufficiently developed relationships between Ezra and his unstintingly helpful housemates, whom he's just met at the book's opening and whom we haven't seen all that much of. (Instead, we get a lot of telling us how great found family is, which sure, but those relationships need time to build.)

This is a case, I think, of an author biting off more than they could chew. The precarious state of the funeral home is important to the theme of Ezra's learning not to wear himself out being everything to everyone, but I wish there had been some other way to show Ezra connecting with people who care for him in that context. Besides that, the emotional heart of the story lies with Ezra-Jonathan-Ben.

So, tl;dr, I think this could have used some more structural work, but in spite of that it's a lovely and unusual story and I look forward to the author's next book. Thanks to Random House/Ballantine/Dell and NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me an ARC for an honest review.

Rules for Ghosting is about Ezra, a trans man who's family runs a funeral home. He can see ghosts, but has not told his family. As he is starting a new relationship with a widower that lives in the same house (different apartments), Ezra is haunted by the ghost of his dead husband.

The book was very heavy with grief, relationships, and expectations. There was not as much interaction with ghosts as I thought there would be, but the story is beautiful. The characters are all going through their own grief and struggles independently, but find the load is lighter when you can find someone to share it with.

I had read some mixed reviews about this book so was a little nervous to start, but I really did like it! It's definitely a bit more of a mix between a romance and family drama than I typically want, and it seems to be being marketed as a bit more of a romance so I understand why people have mixed reviews if they're looking for romance.

This book is full of culture and I do think I actually learned some things about Jewish burial practices/funerals etc. I thought the details were great, though having virtually no knowledge of these practices before, there were some places that I got a little lost and ended up skimming a bit. Character wise I liked Ezra a lot and think he's a really complex character. I liked Jonathan too and I absolutely loved Ezra's roommates/friends as side characters! I wish we could have spent a little more time with them

My main issue is that it felt like the ghost thing was never really resolved? Maybe I missed it but I didn't really understand why Ben's ghost was sticking around and why he eventually left.

Thank you to Random House/Dell for the eARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

A thoughtful and realistic take on grief, while still maintaining humor and love, throughout. The book exudes Jewish and Queer joy in a refreshing way and is a good gateway for those who want to dip their toes in fantasy but don't want to yet take the full plunge.

Summary of this book: This books follows Ezra and how he navigates tension with his family, new love, new roommates and a new job. Ezra also has a power where he can see ghosts, but there are rules to being able to see ghosts, until one of them breaks it.

I think this book was a great coming of age book. Ezra faces a lot of obstacles throughout the book and shoulders a lot of the pressure from his family. Ezra feels like he has to be the glue that holds his family together which causes him to have a great deal of anxiety when everything starts to fall apart. In comes moving to a new place, his recent job closing for renovations and a new love interest, and Ezra feels overwhelmed. I enjoyed reading Ezra coming into himself and how he deals with all the new experiences. What I didn't like about the book was I felt like the plot was all over the place. I had a hard time keeping up with what was going on because there was SO much going on. I'm also slightly disappointed because I thought there would be more interaction between Ezra and the ghosts, but its a very much a subplot. Overall, I did enjoy the book, but I feel like the plot took a lot away from getting me to really enjoy it.

3/5 stars. Thank you to Netgalley, Shelly Jay Shore and Random House Publishing Group for sending me an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Jewish MCs
Trans rep
Found family
Supportive family (even if they are a little crazy)
Solid debut novel

Rating: 3.5/5 - this probably isn't a book that I would reread but I really enjoyed it
🌶️: 1/5 - there was 1 explicit intimate scene and even that wasn't highly detailed in my opinion, I think closed door readers would do fine with this one.
🎃: 1/5 - there are ghosts in this book but it doesn't have spooky season vibes

TLDR: Book full of culture, tradition, humor, and heart

This book taught me so much about Jewish traditions which was super cool. I really loved how steeped in both Jewish and gay/trans community this book was. The story really pulled me in. I was hooked from go. I loved that this book had supportive (if dysfunctional) family and found family. It was humorous and sassy. I foolishly thought that I wouldn't cry at a book set at a funeral home. I did get teary eyed a few times but it wasn't full on sobbing. No need to worry about this being a debut novel. It's very well written. Ultimately I think this book is worth reading. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys reading a book that features a lot of cultural references and descriptions of traditions (and sassy side characters).

I’m so loving all these spooky romcoms. Please please please send me any and all! Witches, ghosts, and love are all on my favorite things list