DNF. I like the idea of this book, but I’m just not in the mood for this type of story right now. I want more of a romcom, and less family drama.

This was an enjoyable paranormal romance featuring a clairvoyant MMC trying to save his family's business. I loved the characters and their growth throughout the story. The author takes on some tought topics but handles them well.

Rules for Ghosting is a delightful blend of romance, ghostly encounters, and Jewish family drama. Ezra Friedman, our reluctant clairvoyant hero, must juggle saving his family's failing funeral home, dealing with disapproving ghostly relatives, and navigating his second puberty. The result is a story that's both hilariously witty and deeply moving.
The author's writing shines as she brings Ezra's chaotic life to the page, complete with a Passover seder announcement that could rival any soap opera twist. The inclusion of Jonathan, the charming funeral home volunteer, and his ghostly husband Ben, adds layers of complexity and heart to the narrative.
This debut novel is a poignant meditation on life, death, and healing, with enough humor and warmth to keep you turning the pages. Rules for Ghosting is a unique, ghost-filled romance that will make you laugh, cry, and believe in the power of embracing one's true self. A must-read for fans of quirky, heartfelt stories!
Thank you to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

5 stars

I judged this book by its cover (I KNOW!) as a charming, quirky romance, and while that impression is correct, this debut from Shelly Jay Shore is also SO MUCH MORE!

Ezra, the m.c., is giving _Six Feet Under_ in 2024 vibes (an unbeatable scenario in my world) as a child of folks who are in the funeral business. Fortunately, Ezra has himself more together than all of the Fishers combined, but with that low bar, he's still facing some challenges. While Ezra transitioned long ago, he has some lingering issues with family members who are less than supportive and some physical reminders that come up in what feel to me like respectful and realistic ways (and as a cis person, I acknowledge that I am not an expert on this, but I am sharing my opinion from this transparent perspective nonetheless). An extremely interesting detail about Ezra is that he sees and communicates with ghosts. What could be better in this environment?! Probably almost anything. It's so interesting to see how Shore weaves in Ezra's encounters from the beyond and how they shape not only Ezra's character but his relationships and outcomes. I worried that this element might put me off a bit, but it turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the novel.

The romantic element is prominent, of course, but it does not overshadow Ezra's development, and that, for me, is another supernatural feat.

I loved so much about this book and cannot wait to read more from Shore. I'd be thrilled to see these characters again, but I'm confident already that I'll connect with whomever this author pens.

Realistically, I can acknowledge that this is a good book & one that I can see a lot of people really loving and appreciating. But for some reason, it just didn’t work for me.

There’s quite a few characters, but I didn’t really feel like I connected with any. There’s a lot going on with the story, but none of the plots sucked me in. Even the romance was just… not what I was hoping for (tbh I kinda thought based on the description that there would be some ghost love). There wasn’t anything actually wrong with the writing either, yet I didn’t care for it. Honestly I really feel like the problem here.

So this review is going to just be about how it was for me. It was fine. Just fine. I don’t think this book will stick with me for long, which is a bummer. But I can already see that it has great early reviews and I’m honestly happy so many people are loving it because I wish I had.

Thank you to the publisher & NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review an advanced copy of this book! I voluntarily read this book, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.

When circumstances mean Ezra has to work at his family's funeral home, it's further complicated by his ability to see ghosts - to say nothing of the hunky guy in his apartment building - who happens to volunteer there often. I loved this! A beautiful non scary ghost story about connections that proves families come in all varieties and often make us crazy, it also reminds us that we are all worthy of love.

While I enjoyed this book, I went in thinking it was going to be a cute paranormal romance and have characters that could see ghosts-

It definitely aired more on the side of grief, family relationships and dynamics - which is totally not a bad thing but based on the synopsis, I just was not expecting this.

4.5 stars!
Oh gosh, I just want to hold this book in my heart! I adored how unapologetically Jewish and trans and queer this book is. I loved the premise and the twists that made it more complicated. I highlighted so many passages that delighted me or hit me hard in the feels. Ezra and Jonathan are both just so precious and deserve everything good!

A quote that is sticking with me:
“I feel more with you.” I feel more with you; as in, I feel like I’m here, with you, more than I ever have. And: I feel more with you; as in, You make me feel, more than anyone else.

Spoilers for content ahead...
I love that, for a book that has a main character who has lost a partner, it isn't just a smooth saintly canonization of the dead partner. I really liked that Jonathan's grief was messy and that Ben's grief was too.

Parts of it did feel rushed or skipped over, like I wish there was a lot more time spent on Ezra telling his siblings that he sees ghosts and getting their reactions, rather than them just being like "Oh... well why didn't you say anything sooner?" Similarly, I wish we got more time with Ben talking to Ezra directly, rather than hearing snippets of recaps later on.

I also felt like the blurb is a bit spoilery! (That's not uncommon for me, which is why I often don't even read them!) I wish I had not known about the mom and the rabbi's wife running off together, and I also wish I had not known that Ezra was seeing Jonathan's husband's ghost.

I saw this cover on Netgalley and requested an ARC without even reading its description. Based on its beautiful cover, I was expecting a lighthearted romance. And while there is romance, it's so much more than a romance novel. It's about family and acceptance and loss and grief and mourning and secrets and growing up. Ezra is a trans man whose family owns a funeral home. His whole life, he has seen ghosts, but doesn't tell anyone or know what to do about it. His whole life, he has taken care of everyone in his family - his parents, his brother, and his little sister. He's never felt worthy of attention or compassion or accepting help from others, instead offering that to everyone else to the point of exhaustion. Enter Jonathan, who is grieving the loss of his husband while volunteering in Ezra's family's funeral home. There is a spark, but Ezra doesn't know how to let him in. And Ezra also happens to be able to see the ghost of Jonathan's dead husband and is dealing with major turmoil in his family. This book is about letting people in, chosen family, queer joy, and so much more. I give it 5 stars and plan to pre-order a copy so I can have this beautiful book on my bookshelf.

This book is absolutely gorgeous. Ezra is dealing with a lot; between work changes, family drama and navigating a new living situation. This novel so beautifully shows community, in its many forms. From the Jewish funeral home to the Queer Community Center, found family and new relationships. While also you know seeing ghosts. I loved this exploration of all these things, especially love and connection.

I wish I knew how to make a coherent review— just know that I love this book. It is queer and lovely, I laughed and cried and was rooting for Ezra and Jonathan the whole time.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC. I truly enjoyed this book.

3.5 rounded up.

I love ghost stories and love that we are getting more ghostie romances. In this one Ezra can see ghosts but can’t talk to them until he meets one who happens to be his hot neighbors’s late husband.

I think if this plot line had been the focus it would have been really great but the book was trying to do too much. Ezra’s family runs a Jewish funeral home that is not doing well financially, his mom drops huge life changing news at Seder and Ezra has just moved into a new place when he finds out he may not have a job anymore.

It just seemed over saturated with side plots that it ended up feeling like it didn’t have a clear view of what it was. However
The Best part was the queer representation and Ezra’s relationship with his trans and queer family. Overall I was kinda disappointed but I would give this author another go.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for an eARC

Ezra sees dead people.
A secret he’s kept pretty close to the chest ever since his claims about seeing his grandfather regularly at the family funeral home after he had passed were…not well received.
He ends up coping by avoiding the place as much as possible, and then growing up and choosing a job as far on the other end of the life cycle as possible - birth doula.
But now, thanks to his mother running off with the rabbi’s wife - leaving a shocked family and a vacant office at the funeral home - he’s back and confronted with a ghost who breaks all the rules.
The first being changing locations. He’s at Ezra’s new shared rental, haunting his surviving husband Jonathon. He haunts the funeral home. Even shows up at Ezra’s childhood home before that eventful Passover Seder. Turns out that’s merely the start of what he can do that the other spirits can’t.

I would say there’s probably just as much family drama as actual ghost content, but it makes sense for the story and the balance works.

I’m having feelings about how his mother seems to assume he will take up her side as a matter of queer solidarity. Just because he’s bisexual and trans, doesn’t mean he’s going to easily accept a long time affair, the news dumped on both families over dinner. I was happy to see the resolution by the end, but it was rocky for a minute.

Ezra being reluctantly pushed back into the family business is also a big deal. Interacting with all the ghosts, especially regularly seeing his grandfather again. Plus I learned far more than expected about funeral practices, which has been super interesting.

The whole story was interesting, really. For any book that’s good, for a debut? Excellent!
This is one of those books where I highlighted an obscene number of lines because they were So Good.

By the point the second rule of ghosting had been majorly broken I could barely make myself put it down. That is until I paused at ‘nearly done’ because I didn’t want it to be over.
I look forward to seeing what the author writes in the future!

Thank you to NetGalley and Dell/Ballantine for the arc

This book has a lot going on but handles it all very well. It's a queer story with family drama set in a Jewish funeral home. Oh, and Ezra sees ghosts. One of which is the dead husband of his neighbor. Trying to do a one line summary doesn't really do it justice.

I have family in the funeral business so I appreciated that the depiction of corporate conglomerates wanting to gobble up independently run funeral homes, but I'm not familiar with Jewish funeral traditions so that was educational. .

I found the book to be funny and moving. I really liked the way the siblings talked with each other -- it felt vey authentic to how brothers and sisters interact. I also thought how much weight Ezra felt about being responsible to manage the family and be there for everyone was poignant.

This story took me a while to get into. I was sold on the idea of a person who can see ghosts because I’m always down to read about the supernatural. But I felt like the ghosts were like furniture. They existed in the background. But with only one real exception, they didn’t really have a big impact on the story or the main character. This could be just a reader preference but I wanted more from the ghost angle.

The romance developed slowly. And, look, I know the love interest, Jonathan, is human and thus imperfect, but I truly adored him. Even with his flaws he was the perfect character. Such a pure soul and I kind of wish I could see in his POV.

A story about the ghosts among us - living and dead, the power of ritual, and the importance of family, Rules for Ghosting had me reading late into the night. Strong queer representation and Jewish representation, compelling writing, and a story that left me feeling filled up and not wanting to part with the characters who I had come to know and love.

This was a book that warmed my heart. The story follows Ezra and how he manages his family drama along with his personal life. His personal life has a twist in that he can see ghosts. This was a beautiful story in learning Jewish culture, the LGBTQ characters, the messiness of family, and a supernatural twist.

I would have loved a bit more on the ghosts, but the bit that what shown was a lovely tie in with the story line.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for the ARC.

I cried, I laughed, and I cried again. Rules for Ghosting is such a delightful exploration of queerness, found family, and life (and death too!). Shelly Jay Shore's heartwarming debut is a must-read this year. I cannot wait to see what they write next!

this was definitely a family drama story. this was okay. i love the queer representation but a lot of this fell flat for me. i wish it focused more on the paranormal aspect and the ghosts more than the family drama.

Thank you Random House and Netgalley for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed the cosy vibes of this book. The ghosts were benevolent and kind of just there, just chilling. I kind of wish we got more about them, though. More about how Ezra deals with them, what he does for them, why they’re there. It’s kind of this unexplained phenomenon which might work for some but is usually my main problem with magical realism.

Ezra and Jonathan’s romance was really sweet. I loved the slow burn, the way they carefully eased into things rather than tumbling head first. I really adored Jonathan as a character and lowkey think I would have enjoyed this book more from his POV?

I adored so much of the supporting cast and I wish we’d got more with Ezra’s housemates and friends. They all seemed really cool and there was a great opportunity for that found family vibe and I’m sad we didn’t get that. I did love Ezra’s actual family though, and I loved the way the siblings worked together on everything.

The main reason this isn’t rated higher for me is because I just didn’t understand where the main character was coming from, and I think a lot of that has to do with the author telling instead of showing. We’re told he’s feeling all these things but we’re never really shown exactly why (or if we were, I’m lacking empathy and did not notice any of it was that big a deal). The result is a breakdown that felt a bit over the top? He’d had a big, rough day and that would be reason enough for a minor breakdown, to need to be looked after, but it went beyond that and left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty. I also just got tired of how little self-worth the main character had - it went beyond sympathetic and into frustrating for me.

All in all a decent read but some things that could have been done better.

Between the Jewish funeral home his family owns and operates, and the ghosts he's seen since childhood, Ezra Friedman has grown up surrounded by death. Thankfully his older brother's role as their father's eventual replacement allowed Ezra to leave the funeral home behind. Or at least he had, until his mother dropped a bombshell that left a hole in both their business and their family. Now Ezra is back, attempting to hold everything - and everyone - together, and refusing to acknowledge he might be drowning under it all.

While the rest of his life seems to be crumbling around him, the relationship with his new downstairs neighbor just might be blooming. Coincidentally a volunteer at the funeral home, Johnathan seems to keep popping up in Ezra's life, a pleasant surprise that's slightly hampered by the fact that one of those ghosts Ezra sees is Ben, Johnathan's dead husband. If that wasn't bad enough, Ben has to go and break Ezra's "rules" by actually speaking to him.

Rules for Ghosting is a story about grief and love, about family, be they blood or chosen, and about acceptance. An absolutely beautiful and charming debut - Ezra and Jonathan have my whole heart.

Thank you to Ballantine and NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are my own.