Ezra Friedman sees ghosts. Growing up in a funeral home, kinda made that a not great thing. He feels the weight of family desires and criticisms from living and dead relatives. He runs as far as he can from the family business. When the bottom drops out of this job, he feels the pressure again to return to the business. Will his return break him or make him storger?

light supernatural element of seeing ghosts but it didn't really add to the story
more family drama than a romance
not bad, just not for me

I was excited to read this book based on the title and cover alone! Ezra Friedman and his family run a Jewish funeral home. Ezra can see ghosts. This book is filled with lots of family drama. It all begins when Ezra's mom makes a big announcement during their Passover seder. Ezra wants no part of the family business but has to take a step back in to help run the funeral home. Ezra meets Jonathan, which provided its own complications. I really enjoyed the development of their relationship.

This was a story about family, death, grief, and love. It gave me all of the feelings from beginning to end. Thank you Netgalley for an advanced copy of this story.

3.5 stars -

- after being furloughed from his job & dealing with a mess of family drama, ezra helps out at the family funeral home to make ends meet
- the slowest burn romance with honestly little pay off? very closed doors
- really touching depiction of grief in many different forms, which i honestly wasn’t expecting from a ghostly romance
- felt like less of the romance i hoped for and more of a family drama, with a sprinkle of romance thrown in

Ezra is just your typical 20-something trying to make ends meet.

Except that he sees ghosts. Oh, and his family is imploding in a very big way. No big deal, really.

And then he meets his new neighbor, Jonathan. A widower who is gentle, sweet, strong in that quiet way, and just a tad bit awkward. And Ben. Jonathan’s dead husband. Who can speak.

I was hooked in the first chapter. Shelly’s writing is magical (no seriously, I think it’s possible there’s something addictive..a spell or something…written into the words…) I could not put this book down. It’s so cozy, funny, and emotional at the same time. I was the absolute picture of belly laughing and kicking my feet reading this! I loved Ezra’s little queer found family, and his journey to feeling like he’s worthy of fitting in and being cared for.

I identified so much with Ezra, always peeling away and giving more and more of himself to be the support he needs to be for everyone around him. His inner comments about being “too much” or “not enough” for those around him hit me like a little bit of a gut punch. Watching his growth and learning to lean on his friends, family, and Jonathan was so powerful and beautiful.

I really enjoyed the depth Shelly went into describing Jewish ceremonies and practices. I could picture exactly what they were talking about, and it added even more depth to the story, Ezra’s own inner turmoil with his identity and how he fits into his community.

And finally. Ezra and Jonathan. These two are so perfectly messy together! Jonathan is just steady…and amazing…and swoon-worthy. The development of their relationship against the rest of the stories in this book was so well-done, so magical, so ooey gooey I ate this up.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this arc!

I need to start off by saying I really enjoyed reading this book, and my 4 star review is a very solid 4!

That being said, I think the title and summary are highly misleading. The title is Rules for Ghosting. The summary says it’s a book about a guy who can see ghosts. It would only be natural to think that the majority of this book is about a guy seeing ghosts!! There were maybe two pages total that even mention what he believes the “rules” are for how ghosts can behave/move/interact. There’s also huge portions of the book where his ability to see ghosts isn’t even mentioned, like the ability is just completely forgotten.

But again, I will revert back to my initial statement: I enjoyed this book. The family and found family dynamics are beautiful. I liked reading about all of the Jewish death traditions. The book has deeper meaning and emotion than the silly title gives credit for. Overall, it was definitely worth the read!

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest rating and review.

Quick Thoughts Reviews

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Pelt. Such a great story about grief, friendship, & found family & one moment in the audio gave me literal cold chills while I was shopping at Walmart. 5 ⭐️, out now.

Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young. My first book by the much-hyped author & I can see what all the fuss is about. A friends to lovers queer awakening story with some “I’m home for the holidays” vibes. 4.5 ⭐️, out now.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore. This is a sensitive & also messy story featuring a trans hero, a funeral home, & the ghosts that only he can see (& that he’s kept secret for years). Grief, some heartbreak, Jewish culture & history rep, & more but it’s ultimately hopeful & lovely. 4 ⭐️, out 08/20. (Thanks to the publisher & Netgalley for the complimentary ARC. All opinions provided are my own.)

The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki & Translated by Jesse Kirkwood. A series of stories about different interconnected people & how they’re brought into contact with the magical Full Moon Coffee Shop at the right time. There’s an emphasis on astrology & making smart decisions with astrology in mind, & overall themes of getting out of unhelpful patterns of behavior & doing something positive. I didn’t totally connect with this novella because it comes across a bit disjointed & didactic for me, but it was interesting to read. 2.5 ⭐️, out 08/20.

📖 have you read any of these? Are any on your TBR?

Thank you to the author and NetGalley for providing this ARC for my voluntary and honest review!

This is a beautiful debut novel with queer and Jewish representation, messy family dynamics, grief, healing, and love. I expected a touch more paranormal elements; however, the characters were both charming and dynamic, and it was really interesting to read about the cultural customs throughout the book. 4.5/5 stars.

I liked the story line of this book. It’s about a person whose family owns a Jewish funeral home and all their dynamics. Ezra can also see ghosts and has been able to most of his life. He meets someone romantically and realized the ghost he has been seeing recently is the dead husband of this new person. It is also the son of the women that his mom ends up having an affair on their father with. However, if I am to be honest, the whole LGBTQ+ part of the story made it confusing for me. I felt it wasn’t really needed. The story itself could have stood on its own. It made the character development difficult to understand.

Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home a circus, especially with his grandfather's ghost constantly judging his life choices. After escaping to avoid the family business, he's pulled back in when his mom drops a bombshell at Passover: she's leaving both her job and marriage for the rabbi's wife.

Now, Ezra's juggling the funeral home, an inconvenient crush on the charming volunteer Jonathan (who's also his new neighbour), and a rogue ghost breaking all the rules.

This was a lovely debut novel from Shelly Jay Shore (although we've definitely got a trend of trans guys call Ezra in books recently!). It was as much a story about families and finding yourself as it was a romance, but the romance was still very much a part of the story. I wouldn't call either a subplot, but I would say they shared equal billing.

The only real criticism I have is that the ghosts and paranormal aspects were so far removed it could as well have been an analogy for all the impact they served on the plot. I was expecting more ghosts and what I got was actually a much different story. It's not a bad story by any means, just not at all what I'd have expected.

It also felt like there was a little more structure around the rules and the ghosting that didn't quite make it through edits, instead focusing on the family set up, I feel like something else could have been cut out (the ex?) instead of that.

But, a good story is a good story, and this was a good story. Definitely check it out! 4*

I am so absolutely impressed that this is a debut novel! I typically have a hard time connecting with main characters in third-person novels, but I felt so connected to Ezra (the main character) and the struggle with older sibling syndrome. The found family aspect of this story was also so beautiful, and I loved watching Ezra’s relationships with everybody grow and strengthen. I would definitely recommend this book to friends, especially those who are part of the queer community, it felt like there was representation for so many!

An impressive debut. There was a lot going on in this book - recently transitioning main character, found family, romance with someone who just lost his husband, seeing ghosts, Jewish traditions and the family running a Jewish funeral home, implosion of parents marriage and sibling growth...whew! So perhaps overly stuffed and some reliance on filler (how many times can you include that the MC scratched his dog's ears?), but overall it worked, was very sweet, handled most of the conflict and growth tenderly and lovingly, and had me rooting for everyone involved. Will most definitely read this author's next novel.

This is a cute book about Ezra, a bisexual who can "see dead people" when he moves into a new building. He teaches yoga and is a birth doula so he leads an interesting life. In the new place he meets Jonathan, a handsome man he's attracted to, but soon Jonathan's old lover who died "appears" to Ezra and it's confusing as he isn't sure he can confide in a man he hardly knows. In the meantime, Ezra's parents are splitting up as his mother is attracted to someone else, so his own life is a crazy, mixed-up mess. It's a sweet novel that had me laughing and always wondering what would happen next!
Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!

Jonathan and Ezra... these two are so cute! I absolutely loved and enjoyed the trans representation in this and I loved the fact that we get little hints of what their future could be towards the end of the book. This was a very enjoyable book for me between the LGBTQ+ themes and the paranormal aspect!

Rules For Ghosting
Written by Shelley Jay Shore
Published by Random House Publishing House
Release Date August 20, 2024

Ezra Friedman has a few things going on in his life that would give anyone a reason to pause. His family’s funeral home is going under……so that means no job for him…..his mother is leaving his father and his crush, Jonathan, who volunteers at the funeral home, lives in an apartment beneath him. But the biggest issue for Ezra is that he sees ghosts at the funeral home and that started with him seeing his grandfather. So back to Ezra’s mother. The news that she and the Rabbi’s wife were in love came out during the family’s Passover Seder and they have both decided to leave their spouses. This news really devastates him but there is one bright side to all of this. For the time being Ezra will hold the position of Office manager. And he will get to see his crush on a daily basis. However, Jonathon is still grieving the loss of his husband, Ben, who passed away. Ezra is also tasked with trying to save his family’s funeral home from financial ruins so he deals with all of the ghosts that he sees while working to pull the business out. Until he sees one ghost that he doesn’t expect to see, Ben.

This is certainly a one of a kind book that contains family drama, love interests, queer situation, and GHOSTS! The fluidity of Shore’s writing is so good you forget where you are in the book. The characters are so very well developed and likable. I had a great time reading this book and enjoyed all of the emotions that it brought out. Ezra is troubled but when you throw in Jonathon it seemed to brighten his character some. There is a little humor throughout but I would not say you can add that into the description. There is one thing Ezra is not lacking…..friends.


4 stars


Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and publisher for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

When I read the dedication to this book, I knew I was going to be in emotional trouble. I devoured this in a day. I could barely put it down. Sometimes there are characters you know will just become a part of you as you read them and Ezra is just one of those characters. I'm not much or a horror or paranormal reader, so I really loved that it was a cozy ghost story. Shelley Jay Shore understands and relays the experience of the eldest sister archetype so well. This was my first ARC and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to read this sweet, emotional, and wonderful novel.

You had me at "Jewish, trans undertaker sees dead people, including the ghost of his new boyfriend's late husband."

Okay, to be accurate, Ezra Friedman is only filling in temporarily as the office manager for the Friedman Memorial Chapel; it’s more than a little awkward for his mother to keep working there after she drops a bombshell at the family Passover seder that she and the rabbi’s wife are in love and both leaving their husbands. Ezra has avoided his family’s funeral home since he started seeing ghosts at a young age, starting with his beloved grandfather. Now he needs to be there daily, which gives him numerous opportunities to see his crush Jonathan, a Chapel volunteer who is still grieving the loss of his beloved husband, Ben. Ezra suspects that Ben hasn’t let go yet either—because Ezra can see his ghost. And unlike the other specters, Ben can talk, and he has a lot to say.

Shelly Jay Shore does a lot of things well in her debut novel, including explaining traditional Jewish funeral rituals and posing questions around how trans individuals are welcomed into the gender-segregated ones such as taharah (ritual cleansing and dressing of the body). Ezra is a troubled but sympathetic character whose role as the family’s emotional caretaker is starting to take its toll. The love story is a tad underdeveloped but it improves as the story progresses. The book’s overall tone is serious but not melodramatic, with flashes of wry humor sprinkled throughout. I was afraid that the plot had the potential to succumb to farce, similar to the 1945 movie Blithe Spirit, but thankfully no hijinks ensue.

On the minus side, the novel’s 400 pages are overly stuffed with subplots: Ezra moving into house whose residents include his asexual/demisexual former boyfriend. The other housemates, mostly queer, who become his found family. The funeral home’s financial issues and looming threats of corporate buyout. Ezra and his siblings’ struggle to reconcile their anger at their mother with their respect for her authentic queer truth. Jonathan’s secrets about his marriage. Ezra’s secrets about the literal ghost in their new relationship. And a cute, slobbering pit bull mix named Sappho.

So depending on what you are hoping to find in the book – Family saga? Queer love story? Jewish fiction? – you may be disappointed, but you will not be bored. I give the author credit for penning such a distinct debut. Maybe next time she be more parsimonious with her ideas, and not try to cram them all into one story.

ARC received from Net Galley in exchange for objective review.

An absolutely lovely and heartfelt family drama that is interwoven with grief, and love, and finding your own place in the larger systems that make up our communities, whether it's born family or found family or the larger communities that we are part of. This book wonderfully weaves together themes of Jewish faith and queerness in ways that make them feel connected rather than at odds, and found family and biological family, queer community and religious community, platonic and romantic love. The themes and connections here are just so well done and lovely.

Plot wise - Ezra is a trans man raised in a Jewish funeral home, and happens to see ghosts. When his parents suddenly split, he's forced to take up his mother's role in the family business and is pulled into unraveling both old and new family dramas, trying to save the family business, and confronting his old ghosts (both literally and figuratively).

Throughout he also meets and falls for Jonathan, a volunteer at the funeral home who is grieving his husband, and is haunted by Ben, the husband's ghost who refuses to move on. The romance between Ezra and Johnathan is rather secondary to the family drama but incredibly tender and healing.

The ghosts themselves do not play much role in the story, other than acting as literal stand ins for the baggage that all the characters carry throughout the story - the family legacy, the grief of a failed marriage, the guilt of parental expectations. I enjoyed this book immensely.

Thank you to Random House Publishing for the gifted eARC!

This is not, perhaps, the fun, fluffy ghost story it's billed as, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. The fact that it's a debut is even more impressive. Ezra has the weight of the world on his shoulders, with a host of familial expectations and history of caring for his siblings, along with being transgender. When his parents unexpectedly split, Ezra finds himself back at his family's funeral home, a place he's avoided for years--ever since he realized he could see the dead.

He soon meets Jonathan, who is grieving the loss of his late husband--only to realize that one of the dead people he's been spying around just happens to be Ben, Jonathan's late husband. Even weirder, Ben can talk to Ezra, something none of the other ghosts have ever done. Jonathan and Ezra grow closer, but Ben remains a barrier between the two (for a myriad reasons).

This story is a little long-it takes on a lot-and while it manages most of it well, it feels a bit unwieldy. It takes some time to get to the ghosts, especially the talking one! Still, it provides excellent insight into Jewish funeral customs and traditions. The book wonderfully explores the idea of family, digging into the concept of being what your family wants versus what you need for yourself. How does a person shape themselves for, and because of, their family? I empathized very much with Ezra and all the guilt he felt about his family and the duties and responsibilities he had toward them.

Ezra is a charming character and he comes across as very real and likable. His story is often funny, even with the funeral home setting and all the dead people hanging around. Ezra has a wonderful cast of friends--many of them POC and/or queer--and the story does a great job of exploring queer friendships and how important found family is, especially with Ezra's bizarre family situation.

There's certainly a lot of discussion of grief and death in GHOSTING, so avoid if that's a trigger for you. But know that this is also a really poignant and lovely story--part almost coming of age and also a sweet romance.

This book covered grief and love and death in a way that was not overbearingly depressing. It was sweet and tender-hearted. I liked that Ezra wanted to heal his relationship with his family, that he was putting in the effort and the time. And the romance, oh was so worth it and beautiful and wholesome.