I’ll be honest, at first, I didn’t love this book. I didn’t find the characters relatable, and thought the story was slow-paced. But, as I continued to read I did find the book enjoyable. It was remiscient of Six Feet Under, but with a modern twist.

Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy!

Rules for Ghosting was a read that really taught me about the complexities of your birth family and your chosen family. There were strong themes of sel-confidence, grief, and family dynamics.

I loved the representation of Ezra our main character. This was my first read featuring an FTM trans character and the body identity that comes with that was portrayed honestly and openly. I really appreciated that his family accepts him as their son and genders him correctly as I’d assume in traditionally very religious households parents might not and that would be even more difficult to navigate Ezra’s own feelings.


The inclusion of the ghost sightings provided some comical relief when needed and also lended to a big part of the story with him seeing his grandfather whom he was close with as well as his boyfriend’s dead husband that wanted his husband to be happy.

And back to the living world we all need a Jonathan, the patience and care he has for Ezra is top notch all while still navigating his own grief he never gives up on him.

It was a great book thanks for the ARC copy!

Found family (of all kinds) at its finest!

Add in some spirits and a family business in danger, and you've got a great read!

"Being psychic is more trouble than it's worth ... He thinks that some part of him knew, even as a child, that this would be one confession too many. He was queer when he was fourteen, a boy when he was twenty - adding 'oh and I see dead people' and 'did you know there are ghosts everywhere?' would just be too much."

I absolutely adore Ezra. But it's his collection of random of LGBTQIA+ friends and extended family of all sorts that really make this book something special.

Embrace others for who they are, and embrace yourself for who you are. Ezra needs this reminder; Ezra's family units need this reminder; and as readers, so do we.

"He knows all about avoidance, has turned not talking about his feelings into an art, but he's never been able to watch it in someone else."

In some ways, these characters remind me of Blue & her Raven Boys, in such a food and comforting way, that I can see this feeling like a continuation of their story. Which is probably why this book feels so good to me.

"Just because people can survive without you doesn't mean they're okay."

A must-read, don't blame me if you too find yourself ugly-crying. Add to shelf immediately.

"No one sits shiva for living ghosts."

Chosen family, queer identity, grief, and love -- what is not to enjoy? I read this during the start of pride month and enjoyed every minute of it! Ezra Friedman has a lot going on in his life, including growing up in the family's Jewish funeral home, moving in with an ex-boyfriend, dealing with complex family relationships, navigating a new relationship, and dealing with the ghost of his neighbor. Sure, there are a lot of pieces to this novel, but I think they work together nicely. I really enjoyed seeing the supportive community that Ezra has, even if they all have their own problems going on behind the scenes, as well.
Overall, this was an excellent read. If I could, I would give it 4.5/5 stars. Also, I will echo a few other reviews: this is a remarkable debut! Going into the novel, I did not know this was a debut author, nor could I tell that through the writing. I will gladly recommend this title to a number of our patrons and I look forward to its release date.

In “Rules for Ghosting” by Shelly Jay Shore, Ezra Friedman, who sees ghosts and grew up in a funeral home, tries to escape his family’s judgment and his supernatural abilities. However, after losing his dream job and returning home to help save the family business, Ezra navigates family chaos, a crush on the funeral home volunteer Jonathan, and the disruptive ghost of Jonathan’s late husband, Ben, discovering new ways to deal with both the dead and the living.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going in to this. What it turns out this is essentially a family drama about a family where the family dynamics are shaken up, and how that affects the family business, and the individual members of the family as well. It all is beautifully told.

I love Ezra and his journey through a very tumultuous time in his life. His arc is incredible. All the side characters are fantastic as well. There’s one joke Ezra’s sister makes in particular that will have me randomly laugh-snorting for months, at least.

There’s one line in particular that should be the tagline for this book, because it perfectly sums up everything about this better than I could ever. “No one sits shiva for living ghosts.” It honestly kind of fucks me up that I’ve spent all this time, all these words describing this book when everything and more than I could ever say about this book the author put in to those 7 words.

If I have one criticism of this, it’s that this almost - almost, but not quite - feels like it could have been two different books: Ezra, the doula who is seeing the ghost of his current crush’s dead husband, and the story of the Friedman family funeral home. That being said, the two plot lines each add complexities to the other that do a decent job of tying everything together and making everything relevant to everything else. (I have one or two worldbuilding snaggles about things the book expects you to take at face value, but not anything significant enough to really detract from the book.)

So anyways, this was fantastic. If you want drama about a family-owned funeral home and a trans MC who sees ghosts, it’s this. This is the one.

Thanks to NG and the publisher for a copy of this ebook.

I really wanted to enjoy this book but I felt as if I was dragging myself through mud trying to finish it. I'm sure others would enjoy it, but not me.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I have been slacking on my ARC reviews lately, but here we go! This book had me feeling all the feels. Not only does the main character have his own dilemma, but the family dynamics are wild. I did enjoy watching the three siblings interact. As adults they still all played the same roles designated to them as kids. You see the change when their mom moves out and in with her girlfriend and they start to grow and fill in the gaps in their lifelong relationships. I could relate because I often see my sister and myself as the same as when we were little, but in reality we’ve both grown and changed so much as we grew up. The main characters relationship is so heartbreaking and emotional while at the same time being so pure. It really highlights how grief over death and grief over trauma can really effect a person and how they react in relationships. Throw in a funeral home and talking ghosts of husband’s pass and this book is near perfect! Make sure to grab a copy when it’s released on August 20th! You won’t regret it! 👻

Rules for Ghosting is a unique, heartfelt story with a supernatural twist. It's a wonderful book for anyone looking for love after loss, returning home again, or recovering from people pleasing. I like that it features a trans character but well into their transition rather than in the self discovery phase. I also like that Judaism was central to the story, but like Ezra being trans, it wasn't the main focus; rather it was a subtle element. The author focused too long on certain scenes in my opinion, and the ending took a very long time to wrap up.

Where do I even start? This novel was mismarked. I thought this would be similar to The Dead Romantics, and I was extremely excited for it. Then it was a dumpster fire. There was no plot, and while I can do character driven stories. The way this was written makes you confused on who is talking and whose perspective we are seeing which is hard to follow due to having an extent number of characters. I fell the representation of the LGBTQ+ community was insincere more like oh here is this character to hit everyone in the community without building any depth into them. I did enjoy that I learn some customs in the Jewish community. The setting could have been built better because it had so much potential. I did enjoy the small text conversations and actual picture of a real dog. This will go on Fable, GoodReads and Lemon8 on Jun 9, 2023 @1030

I didn’t know I was looking for this book until I found it. Ezra is such a complex and comforting character and his presence really takes on what it means to be trans within your family. I love the way that the author takes on grief and love as two sides of the same coin.

This book will live rent free in my head forever. Because of the story it told. And the beautiful, careful way it told it. I even brought out my *full size* keyboard to write this review. So you know it's serious. Additionally, I received an ARC free from NetGalley in exchange for my review. This in no way impacts my review nor my decision to use Full Keyboard. My thoughts are my own.

This book is for the eldest daughter: Defined in a way that transcends gender identity - including anyone, regardless of gender, holding the position and title of Eldest Daughter. This story is about being queer in a Jewish religious space that defines so much by gender. It's about the death of assumed family realities and about literal death, too soon and raw. About finding love and finding pain and learning that you're worth loving because you're you, not because you solved a problem or held the world together in your bleeding Eldest Daughter hands.

Eldest Daughters: This book sees you. That part of your heart (soul) that you don't let the rest of the world into (because it's your job to take care of everyone else, of course). Be ready to cry. And nod in agreement. And drop your kindle because you're trying to highlight something in (somehow) a deeper darker highlight than could exist because it's perhaps not appropriate to mumble *yep YEP ME!!* in a public place. Be prepared to lay your heart out and get it back in some format that you aren't sure if it's ok, but it's definitely better for taking this ride.

To the Friends and Loves of folks who are Eldest Daughters: Come learn. About how we feel. Because I've read a lot of books with Eldest Daughter characters. And they've never explained the *rawness* of the feeling in a way such as this beautiful story.

While my review first focused on the Eldest Daughter, this book is so much - SO MUCH - more.

This book is about being queer - In so many different (beautiful) ways. Including being trans - and of how that impacts Eldest Daughters. And Siblings. And Families. And the beauty. And love. And the back of the head feelings. And Sex. And the body dysmorphia.

It also addressees queerness specially in the context of the Jewish religion - and in spaces of Death - where gender plays a major role in rituals. This is done with such beautiful careful love in the story. Not being particularly religious, I learned so much about the traditions and customs, in a way that never felt like someone was trying to convince me of their religion. They were simply informing me of the rituals. This book presented the religious information in a mater of fact, but also easily understandable way.

This story is for anyone in the queer space looking to feel seen. For anyone looking to learn more about what navigating the queer space feels like, especially in religious context. For anyone in any who is, or is in contact with an eldest daughter - regardless of their gender.

Come. (Cry). Walk away in some way more broken. In some way more whole.

(4.75/5) I adored this book. There were fully developed characters, satisfying plot resolutions, fascinating twists, and a very clear amount of thought put into every detail. All of the careers and identities in this book were handled with care and accessible to those who’ve never heard of them before. I absolutely devoured this book- it was so easy to read.

I feel like there is a lot going on in this book but not in a bad way. It’s in a “I don’t know where to start describing this book” way. You have a trans MMC who can see ghosts, a family run mortuary, LGBTQ rep, a coming out story, loss of a spouse, family and business drama, and of course a love story (or two).

The fact that the MC was able to see ghost took a back seat to the relationships in this book. It showed the complexity of those relationships. I loved how close the siblings are. And absolutely loved that our MC had so much support from friends and family. I also may have cried at a part with some of the LGBTQ rep.

I was also kind of here for the drama. I told you there’s a lot going on. It’s a good balance of crazy drama and heartwarming moments.

I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to learn about Jewish holidays and death rites. Maybe it’s just because I’m not Jewish but a lot of the holidays and rites I was not familiar with. I also loved how respectful the characters were regarding death.

I received a free e-arc of this book through Netgalley.
This book has a lot going on, but it wraps everything together neatly so it's not confusing or hard to follow along. Ezra, is a young adult who is not only transgender, but also sees ghosts. He also works as a birth doula (everything above the waist) and a yoga instructor. His family operates a funeral home which was a tough place for a teen who sees ghosts to be around. His family is also Jewish and there is a lot of homage to Jewish funeral rituals in this book which I was ignorant of, but interesting to read about. His family and friends are very accepting of him (although they don't know about the ghosts for much of the book). Things get even more complicated when he starts to fall for a guy whose dead ghost husband, Ben, starts to follow Ezra around and break all kinds of ghost rules. Ezra is a very likeable character who is dealing with a lot and hasn't really focused on his own needs for much of his life. It's great to read about his family and friends being supportive after they get past their own drama. We're all going through battles that other people know nothing about so be kind.

Shelly Jay Shore really hooked me with a trans man character, an unconventional haunting, and familial relationships. The novel explores Ezra's relationship with all different parts of his life that are deeply a part of queer culture including found family, mental health, coming out. And with all of this, there was still fun plot driving and quirky dialogue to keep me going.

The only reason I don't rate this as perfect is there were a few things I wish had been hashed out further, such as a funeral (no spoilers as Ezra's family just owns a funeral home) and a couple of side characters that seemed important to Ezra in the beginning but just got relegated to the periphery of the story.

Overall, though, it is very much worth the read and I was honored to be able to read it early. I will gladly add it to my bookshelf.

This was a cute read. It stars Ezra, our trans, anxiety-ridden protagonist as everything he knows about his life changes-including the ghosts he's been seeing since he was a child. As if seeing ghosts wasn't enough, one ghost decides to trail him around instead of following the same rules as all of the others. I was expecting the ghosts to have a much larger impact throughout the book, but their overall involvement worked well

Poor Ezra has to face so many obstacles within such a short time span that I'm surprised he didn't explode from everything he was trying to hold in. Between moving, family problems, job problems, and romantic problems, this guy is really having a rough go of life. But the handsome downstairs neighbor who keeps popping up presents a sense of hope for our poor protagonist. Too bad his new ghost friend is this neighbor's deceased husband.

Jonathan has his own bleak history, but he really pushes to work through his problems. As him and Ezra grow closer, you can see his devotion to everything he cares for and his unending patience for those he loves. As Ezra struggles to accept himself and his place in the world, Jonathan is a steady rock that allows for support without being toxic or overbearing.

This book was adorable. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a light-hearted queer romance with just a dash of paranormal aspects.


Goodreads review is live.

This book was marked as romance and LGBTQ+ so I was in. I like going into books blind and did it with that and totally regretted it.

I had no idea I was in for so much twist and turns. There was so much more than romance in it than I expected--a failing family business, a broken marriage, a cheating mom, a widower, ghosts, a fire and MORE. This book had so much going on and when I thought it was about to pick up for me, it did not.

Unfortunately, it felt overwritten for me. I do understand that readers want to get to know characters well to understand and can empathize with them more but I think this book overdid it in that aspect. Some parts of it as did not feel relevant to me in the end.

I’m learning that this is a debut novel for this author and quite frankly, I’m kind of stunned because it was extremely well written and covered so many things that I throughly enjoyed it. Not only did this book make me want to cackle when we got to the first dinner that I had to refrain as I was in an office setting, but it made me want to cry at some parts too. It’s funny, serious, lighthearted, meaningful, and deep.

Ezra is still trying to find themselves as they navigate ghosts, family relationships, new friends, and an ex in their life. I think learning and growth are major themes in this book and I was there being called out on some things myself. I believe that this is a great book but also was great with queer representation. I love Becca, Jonathan, Aaron, Nina, and most importantly Ben. Ben was the true calling card of figuring things out and learning from them.

Also side note, no idea why I somehow thought this was going to be set in the 1800s-early 1900s from the description in the email I got from NetGalley. I was taken for a loop when I read British Bake Off and was pleasantly surprised. XD

I received an eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, what a beautiful, dark, and emotional story! Love the slow and gentle relationship of Ezra, a trans man who can see ghosts, and Jonathan, a widowed gay man, amid all of the emotional complexities of working at a funeral home.

I love how layered this story is: Ezra’s family owns a funeral home, Ezra has been able to see ghosts his whole life, he meets and starts falling for Jonathan whose husband died, and said husband Ben is haunting Ezra’s new apartment. All of this is mentioned in the first few chapters and sucked me in right from the get-go. But what really made me love this story right from the beginning was Ezra himself: he’s kind and selfless and caring and wants what’s best for everyone around him while always emotionally neglecting himself.

Even though I’m Jewish, I learned so much about Jewish funerals and the cleansing rituals. The part where Ezra does the tahara (cleansing of the body) is enlightening and emotional. Even when you’ve lost someone it’s not a part of the funeral rites that you would see so it felt special to be a part of it through Ezra’s eyes.

Overall I loved this book: the romance, the siblings, the friendships, the being able to see ghosts, the ins and outs of having your family own a funeral home, and I even loved how this book emotionally wrecked me over and over!

I absolutely loved everything about this book. It's was so well written and heart-felt!

I adored Ezra. His struggles with his self-worth, self-esteem and anxiety hit a bit too close to home in some scenes but that made him so much more relatable and likeable. Jonathan was just such a sweetie pie and I loved watching their relationship grow. The dynamic between Ezra and his friends and Ezra and his family just really made this book something special.

Added bonus for adorable pit mix, Sappho! She's such a good girl!

It's hard to believe that this is a debut and I can't wait to read more from Shelley Jay Shore! This is a must read!

*Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for letting me read this early!*