This book was uncomfortably relatable in regards to Ezra being the middle child in a family of three and the "first-born daughter." I relate so deeply with his struggles of anxiety and feeling like he is the only one capable of managing problems within his family, I almost felt targeted. It was nice to watch him be able to work on that and take a step back from all the responsibilities that he found himself taking on. I am not Jewish or a transman, so I am sure that some of his experiences must be influenced by those identities and I am able to acknowledge that I won't be able to relate to him completely.

I loved the way that grief was handles and the involvement of ghosts, and it was nice to see how Jon and Ezra became close and developed an understanding with each other. Other than that, I don't have much to say. This was a really enjoyable read and I'm sure there are a lot of people who can connect with different aspects of the book.

✨ARC review✨

I think it’s going to be hard for me to describe what reading Rules for Ghosting meant for me. Ever since I figured out how to think for myself many years ago, I have been fully-invested in the idea that a person knows who they are better than anyone else and it’s no one else’s business to try to disabuse them of this.

This has never been more top-of-mind than the last few years as more and more people are feeling confident enough in who they are to come out as transgender. It’s a brave and freeing thing to do, I think.

In Rules for Ghosting, one of our protagonists is a trans man named Ezra and his love interest is a widower, Jonathan. This story is complex, romantic, often funny, and handled in a delicate manner.

Ezra has been able to see ghosts since he was a child, but has never told his family who happens to run a Jewish funeral home. He’s been avoiding the funeral home for years, but has to go back to help the family out. During this family crisis, he also meets his neighbor and funeral home volunteer, Jonathan. He’s immediately attracted to him and also immediately starts seeing the ghost of Jonathan’s husband. Awkward! But also sweet.

I love this novel about familial love and forgiveness, self-love and acceptance, found family and support and yes, there are ghosts- a couple of persistent ones. ❤️

#romance #contemporaryromance #contemporaryfiction #lgbtqia+ #transrepresentation #birepresentation #gayromance #happypride #netgalley

this book is a third person POV about a guy who's trying to navigate being able to see dead people and dealing with the chaos around family. i LOVED the queer and trans representation here! i feel like queer representation in books is found far and few compared to others. it's more common to find queer characters be a side cast rather than the main character, and i think that needs to change. but this has, not only a queer main character, but a whole cast of them. and i think it's beautiful.

my only issue with this is how the writing style felt a bit... overwhelming? for me. there was either too much or too little going on to keep me immersed in the story. the author really made an attempt to paint a picture for the scenes, leading to a lot of details before getting to the point of what is happening in that moment. which i will say is absolutely not a bad thing. but it made the story go by really slow at times. i admit i may have skimmed through some parts because i was less interested in the microexpressions and wanted to see what happens next. let me reiterate that the story and plot is actually really good. i guess i just needed the story to keep going and not have to stop for a whole page and a half of descriptions and inner thoughts.

i wanted to rate this more than a 3. but i know there are others who will enjoy this more than me, so i will definitely recommend this!

thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book. i received this as an ARC and leave this review voluntarily.

Very queer, very Jewish, very haunted read. Unfortunately I DNF around 20%

I was hoping for a spooky book which this was but there were many side stories that I was just not into.

Ezra's life is messy. They are trans, in the process of transitioning and the drama surrounding them

Jewish practices for the dead were interwoven into the story but the author is very anti-Israel which is confusing why they are so into customs but don't support Israel.

The best character was the dog.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-copy on this novel!

I thought this book was alright. I was really enjoying it at the beginning, but the more I read, the less I started to like it. I just felt like the story dragged on a bit. Also, there are a handful of different plot points and conflicts in this book. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but many of these plot points felt underdeveloped. The ghost plot point is honestly barely there. The supernatural aspects are on the back burner. There would be chapters and chapters between ghost sightings and interactions. The ghost portions aren't necessarily bad, but if you are picking this up because of the ghosts, you will be very disappointed. There is also a side plot of Ezra having to move into a new place. I think this was added to give Ezra a "found family," but it just did not work. All the friend characters felt the same and were basically just there to give witty banter every once in a while. As for the romance, I liked it a lot at the beginning, but started to like it less and less as the book went on. I don't know why this is, I just wasn't vibing with it. The part of the story that felt the most developed was the family drama. The majority of this book was dedicated to Friedman family dynamics. How the family interacts with one another and how those interactions have shaped them all as people, for better or for worse.
I think this book's main issue is going to be the marketing. If you are expecting a paranormal romance you will be very disappointed. However, if you are looking for a family drama with a little romance on the side (along with a couple ghosts here and there) I think you'll enjoy it.

This book was amazing and I devoured this book in just a few sittings! I loved the character development and how the story progressed.

This was really good! Because of the wild, drama-filled plot I think I was expecting more of an action-filled story but was pleasantly surprised that it had depth. The character development was really good. I always think it's a good sign when I find myself thinking through my own analysis of the characters beyond what the author has said (like the ways the Dad is like Ezra, quietly taking care of everyone, or how Aaron is such an oldest child). I also love when characters in books are Jewish and it's just described like an integral part of their lives, not like a token stereotype.

I apologize, but I was unable to finish reading and ended up DNF. This was not a book type that I am interested in.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I knew from reading the synopsis this was going to be a 5 star read. It had everything I love. When I finished, I was so glad I was right. This is such a charming and heartwarming book. I was surprised how funny it was as well.

Ezra was a complicated character, and I went back and forth on him. I could understand his motivations and there was so much going on in his life I couldn’t blame him 100% but also Jonathan was like the sweetest and nicest person ever and he kept threatening to screw it up.

There was so much rich Jewish customs and traditions that I had to look so many things up. I learned a lot and I appreciated learning about Jewish practices for the dead because I didn’t even know what other religions did really. It was such a refreshing read. Also learning about the holidays they had was a lot of fun. Ezra’s family was so MESSY and I loved seeing the drama honestly. But he was also so amazing to his siblings. Middle child syndrome was strong but Ezra was the rock keeping them together. The found family here was also amazing because Ollie and his friends were such gems. They didn’t hesitate to listen and help Ezra and I love to see it. Also I loved Sappho she was so cute!

There’s so much here about death and life. About being loved and giving love in return. Ghosts are full of regrets but you can still grieve and find peace in others. This was so tender and full of love and I appreciated this read a lot.

I recently finished reading "Rules Of Ghosting," and I must say, it was quite a journey to push myself to the end. Based on the blurb, I was expecting a paranormal read, but the actual content diverged significantly from my expectations.

Ezra's life, already complicated by his secret ability to see dead people, takes a turn for the worse at his family's Seder. With the family funeral home business hanging by a thread and a budding romance he didn't see coming, Ezra is left to navigate the chaos left by his family's drama.

The premise of this book was intriguing, but it ultimately fell flat for me. The excerpt I read beforehand suggested a strong focus on Ezra's encounters with the dead at the funeral home. However, the narrative leaned heavily towards the intricate family drama dominating his life. While themes of identity and family were well-handled and poignant, they overshadowed the paranormal aspects that initially drew me in.

The world-building and exposition were slow, making it difficult to stay engaged after the first exciting ghost encounter. The book's pace picked up eventually, but by then, it was clear that the paranormal elements were not the main focus. Ezra's journey as a trans male in a Jewish family was richly depicted and adds significant depth to the story, offering a powerful narrative for the intended audience.

However, my main expectation was to delve into a story about someone interacting with ghosts, which led to my disappointment. Ezra's character, dealing with a broken family and reluctant involvement in the funeral home business, provided a lot of ups and downs. Despite the good writing and steady story progression, I found it hard to connect with him. Admittedly, I am not the target audience, which might explain my disconnection.

In conclusion, "Rules Of Ghosting" is not a bad story; it just wasn't for me. The balance between family drama and light paranormal activity didn't meet my initial expectations. However, for those interested in a heartfelt exploration of identity and family dynamics with a sprinkle of the supernatural, this book could be a great fit.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and author for this ARC.

I really enjoyed this - especially the parts about Ezra's doula work and the different rituals at the funeral home. I wish we had seen a bit more of Ezra and Jonathan falling in love, but overall, this was a really good book.

I love this book so much! The only thing I did not love was the title of the book…which is kind of a bizarre thing to say…when I first read the title and the description I was thinking this book was going to be more about ghosts than it really was. However, overall I loved this book and I felt like I learned so much about the Jewish faith that I didn’t previously know.

There were a few times where this book seemed to drag a little bit, but overall a solid 4/5

A fun sweet read! Highly recommend.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for my ARC.

Thank you NetGalley & Random House for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. This review can also be found on Goodreads.

Rule #1: they can't speak
Rule #2: they can't move
Rule #3: they can't hurt you

As if Ezra's life wasn't complicated enough being a secret psychic who sees dead people, his entire world comes crashing down at his family's Seder. Ezra's life is changing faster than he can comprehend, and in many ways, he is left to pick up the pieces of the drama his family has left behind. While speaking with the dead, focusing on saving his family's funeral home business, and falling for someone he least expected, Ezra feels the weight of it all.

The premise of this book was very interesting, but I found it was a little flat for me. When reading an excerpt, it sounded like this was geared mostly towards Ezra encountering the dead at the funeral home he was trying to save. However, the book was most about the complex family drama happening in his life.

I felt the world building and exposition was a little slow. It took me a good amount of time to buy into the story past the first exciting ghost encounter. It became clear that this was less focused on the paranormal, and it was more focused on identity and family. And while those were lovely themes well done in this novel, it was not what I expected.

Ezra is a trans male in a Jewish family. This adds an extra layer to everything in the novel, and I found it was very well written. Ezra's journey is extremely important in this novel, and I think it will be a powerful and poignant story for Shore's target audience.

I was so shocked to learn that this was a debut!! It was so well written and thought out. The MC was quite lovable, even though at times he could be so frustrating. The romance took a little while to be the main focus, but it was such a mature connection. Obviously, death plays a huge roll in this book, and the way it’s written about is so beautiful!

This is my favorite read of 2024 so far! I haven't read anything quite like it in the best way possible. Oftentimes, when stories have a lot going on with many themes, stories, characters, identities, etc being represented, they're too muddled and not enjoyable. Sometimes I have trouble relating to characters who are nothing like me because the way they are written. And, sometimes debut novels.... need more editing. None of that is true here.

These characters and their experiences are familiar. Their emotions are real and relatable. The story is charming but intense at times.

I can see how some may say there aren't enough ghosts or they were expecting a different storyline with more ghostly encounters, but I loved the wordplay with the book title and I think the book description does a good job of explaining the premise.

Finally, this book is a great read for anytime of year, not just during the "spooky season" (in the United States, or elsewhere). The story takes place in the spring.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy.

This was such a cute and perfect queer read. I love how we dive into the family of not just their dynamics but their religion and ethnicity as a whole. I heavily enjoyed the details of the funeral home and the ceremonies performed. It gave me a whole new appreciation for jewish funeral homes. The care the author took in making Ezra was just chef's kiss. Though I do wish we saw more of Ollie being Ace. The queer rep was beautiful and I fell so in love with the two main characters, Jonathan and Ezra. The book had me captivated from start to finish. 100% recommend and an automatic buy for me.

Shore has crafted a deeply moving story of guilt, grief, ritual, and transformation, treating characters with tenderness and love that readers won’t soon forget. This is a book deeply enmeshed in Judaism and queerness, one accessible to all readers but sure to be a uniquely cathartic experience for those who will experience it as a kind of coming home.

This was so cute, and a perfect fall read!

This is a paranormal queer fiction book, that’s more focused on family relations/queer dynamics/ghosts, with romance coming secondary.

I loved diving into the family and the family business, and seeing everything play out. This book paints such a vivid picture, and you can’t help but getting sucked in.

Even though the romance took a back seat to so many other plot points, I still found it really enjoyable. The navigation of grief with many other issues was done so well, and I found myself rooting for this couple harder than I have many others.

The only downsides are that it felt a little long and dragged out at points, and that with so many characters, it sometimes got a bit confusing.

I loved this book so much! I really identified with Ezra as someone who also feels like I’ve been an adult and a parent since I was a kid. Watching him struggle to let himself need help was really great and a reminder for myself. I loved the mix of family (born and chosen), faith, grief, and finding love. Such a great book!