This book was a precious exploration of many themes. When I started this, I wasn’t quite sure how a book could pull off being paranormal, romance, friendship, religion and identity. And somehow, it works better than I even could’ve imagined.m!

At its heart, this is a book about identity, finding your value, connection, family (and the mess it can be), friendships, community, relationships, and love. Shelly covered and blew each of these themes out of the water seamlessly with a story that gives goosebumps and teary eyes!

Following Jonathan and Ezra’s love story and each of them finding life within each other was beautiful. Their relationship spoke to the beauty in brokenness, how people can heal one another, and see beauty through the mess.

Each of the characters in this book are special with a dash of humor and relatability, including new friendships that quickly become part of Ezra’s family, pushing him to come into his own, and realize what he deserves, how valuable he is and that he is worthy.

I loved the way Ezra’s character finds life and beauty through work in his adulthood after a childhood filled with loss and death.

This was such a fantastic debut with many great messages at its core. This sweet story will sit with me for a while! The closing chapter, acknowledgements, and letter at the end to readers was executed perfectly and thoughtfully.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rules for Ghosting is so endearing, hilarious and fun. It's incredible that this is a debut novel because the characters are so fun and intricate. I am so in love with Ezra and I will read anything Shelly writes after enjoying this so much.

What a loving exploration of identity and family through the lens of a paranormal romance. Shelly Jay Shore should be extremely proud of this book.

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell, and NetGalley for providing an eARC for a honest review.

This is the trans, gay, Jewish, meet-cute book about a person that sees ghosts that I didn't know I had to read. Now I have and I'm so happy I did! Ezra didn't want to have the ability to see ghosts, but he can and maybe it's because his family owns a funeral home or maybe it's just because it's him. He loves his family, his dog, being a yoga instructor and a doula. He has fun, fantastic roommates and there's a cute guy on the first floor who locked himself out of the house. Then his mom drops a bomb and one of the ghosts not only starts talking to him but can also move from place to place, which none of them have done before. It's a wild ride filled with Jewish sayings and rituals I'd never known before now. So, if you like a good gay Jewish meet-cute with some ghosts then I highly recommend this book.

Ezra Friedman started seeing ghosts when his Zayde died. Prior to that, Ezra enjoyed spending time in his family-run funeral home that served the local Jewish community. After seeing Zayde, Ezra does everything possible to avoid the funeral home as much as he can. Ezra teaches yoga at the local QCC and is also a doula, so his career path took his as far from death as possible. When the building that houses the QCC must undergo huge renovations, Ezra finds himself in a difficult position since he just moved into a new place (with a hot new downstairs neighbor). However, things take an even stranger turn when his mother drops a bomb at the family Seder and leaves his father after thirty years of marriage. Ezra agrees to help out doing his mom's job at the funeral home and finds more ghosts coming around, including the ghost of the husband of his new neighbor. A very sweet love story, including love of family and friends and romantic love.

Rules For Ghosting is about Ezra, a Jewish trans man, as he steps into his mom's old position at his family's funeral home. The only thing is that Ezra can see ghosts. Ultimately, Rules For Ghosting is about navigating life, grief and loss, connection, and what it means to truly allow yourself to be happy.
I am not Jewish, though the importance of that representation was not lost on me. And it was an added bonus for me to get an opportunity to learn more about the culture.
I read this book as I processed my own grief and boy, did it help. It also gave me a chance to rethink how I've interacted with others, how I will never interact with some people again and the myriad of reasons why that might be.
My only complaints are that the pacing seems slow at times and some of the characters seem a bit underdeveloped. Aside from that, I have no qualms with this story. It is beautifully written and absolutely amazing as a debut novel!

3.5/5

This book has such a cool premise to it: Ezra (whose family owns a funeral home) can see ghosts. And with Ezra being queer, some of the older ghosts are a bit judge-y, while other can be quite chill companions.

This is definitely not your average ghost story, so if you like a spooky time but are looking for a unique experience, I would definitely recommend. I probably would’ve enjoyed this more if I read it during spooky season (even though it takes place in the spring time).

Seeing so many of the big events in this book happen around very Jewish things was really cool for me as a Jewish person. You NEVER see that in books. Like Ezra’s mom spilling the biggest beans at Passover? That’s hilarious. We Jews love a big dramatic moment to chat about later.

It felt like it took quite a bit of time for the main plot of the book to begin. And there seemed to be quite a bit of exposition that wasn’t really necessary to the story. The writing was so classically romantic, but could also get a bit repetitive at times. But this was still such a quick and easy read while still giving you so much depth of emotion (it takes place at a funeral home after all).

Thank you NetGalley and Random House for the e-ARC in exchange for my honest review! My review on Goodreads is already up and my review on TikTok will be up with my monthly wrap-up at the end of May.

3.5 stars, rounded up. There was a lot I enjoyed about this book, but it was much more about grief than I expected from the cute cover.

Ezra is a trans man whose family owns a traditional Jewish funeral home, and he also can see ghosts. I found it interesting that so much of his identity as a trans man was explored - how he felt about his relationships to his family members and how they’d changed, how he felt about his own body, and how he related to others. There was also a lot of discussion about traditional Jewish funerals, what the rituals meant and why they’re important. However the fact that Ezra can see ghosts is just kind of there, there’s no explanation or exposition. He’s kept it a secret from everyone his whole life, but late in the book he decides to tell everyone and they’re all just like “oh wow” and move on.

The other hero is Jonathan, a recently widowed man who lives downstairs from Ezra’s new apartment. Jonathan’s dead husband Ben appears to Ezra, and breaks the “rules for ghosting” that Ezra has developed. He talks to Ezra and follows him around, which makes it super awkward when Ezra develops feelings for Jonathan.

A whole bunch of stuff happens with the family funeral home - turns out Ezra’s mom has been cheating on his dad for years with Ben’s mom, and they run away together leaving Ezra needing to step into the family business. There’s a lot of exploration of family relationships and pressure, and meanwhile Ezra and Jonathan are falling in love.

I enjoyed the book overall, but it was definitely more about grief and changing family relationships than romance. Very touching and sad at times, but with a hopeful and satisfying ending.

5.0

Setting: Rhode Island
Rep: bisexual trans Jewish protagonist; gay Jewish love interest

I cannot fault this book. It is pure joy and heart and packed with emotion. It is so brilliantly queer and unabashedly Jewish and filled with love and tenderness and family and loveable characters. It packs a punch, too! There are a lot of hard moments in this book - Ezra is dealing with a lot, as is Jonathan, and of course the theme of death is a heavily prevalent one, as well as family roles and pressures. It is so worth it, though. I absolutely adore Ezra and Jonathan and I love how their story played out, and how their actions and reactions didn't fall into cliche pits. Absolutely loved this book, and I can't wait for more people to read it. Shelly is a writer to watch out for and I can't wait to see what she writes next!

I think I like the idea of this book more than I enjoyed the actual story itself. There’s so much beauty in the representation and the setting of the story, I loved the aspects of family being so important and the conversations on grief. What I wasn’t a giant fan of is the pacing of the story and the over explaining of everything. It got incredibly tedious and I couldn’t slip into the story and get lost. The prose is lacking for me.

Rules for Ghosting hooked me from the very beginning. First of all, I loved that we were given a story about a trans person that wasn’t centered around him being trans and although it’s been brought up that he’s been misgendered before, the acceptance of his friends and family in the book brought me so much joy. I resonated with Ezra as an “eldest daughter” (Ezra was still brought up as that before he came out) and needing to be the family fixer. The romance between Jonathan and Ezra felt so natural and although I wanted to shake Ezra at times for being avoidant, it was beautiful to see their healthy queer relationship.
The foil of death and birth was intertwined so beautifully in the story, as was Ezra’s Jewish heritage. I would absolutely recommend this book!

This is such a heartwarming story that touches on family dynamics, lgbtqia representation, and the struggles of life. Ezra is our trans main character who now has to try and run the family business. All while also seeing ghosts all around him, and realizing the true term of ghosting.

This is witty but also so raw and emotional. For a debut novel, this author knocked it out of the park.

Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher, and the author for the eARC!

WELL SLAP ME SILLY! This was an addictive, adorable and fresh new novel!

I read it in one sitting, even telling my hubby to go to bed without me because I needed to know how it ended.

Easy 5 star read for me, might even buy the physical book so it can sit pretty on my shelf 😏

I will 100% recommend this book to my friends and followers.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC!

This was great! The characters were well written and explored fully, I really felt like the setting was real and explored, and it was great to get a window into a lot of different practices. I really enjoyed the found family aspects as well. Very sweet!

I pretty much got what I expected with this one, and I sort of wish I got more than that. Ghost stories, especially those that stray from horror, are one of my major interests, which is what drew me to this book despite it seemingly being not so up my alley, stylistically speaking. While I really appreciate the book's approach to the genre, to some degree I feel like it was juggling too many elements to fully let that ghost story shine (there are so many plot developments, most of which are running in the background of the bulk of the novel). In general I just found the prose a bit uninteresting, bordering on stilted, carrying a conventionality that personally distances me a bit from the emotions at hand. I also have some criticisms that are admittedly very weird, like it started to irk me a little when the word "chaste" was brought up an unnatural number of times. (I'm pretty sure it was only like three times, but it was within a few page span so it stuck out. Anyways, it's not impossible that this is changed in final copy.) The aforementioned deluge of plot elements, for better or for worse, keep the book moving along, but these quirks make the writing itself feel a little repetitive, not doing much to differentiate the many scenes that take place in one setting with similar circumstances surrounding them.

I like how unabashedly romantic the book is, and the character of Ezra is a strong one even if others around him have varying levels of specificity. I would have liked to see a little more focus in the plot, but there's a lot to love about this novel, and I know there are plenty of people who are more at home with this sort of approach to prose and plot. If that includes you, you will find this book easy to adore.

This book is a bit deeper than the title makes it seem. I love the trans MC representation, I love the ghosts (the main one in particular) despite not typically liking books with ghosts in them. I love the Jewish family craziness and drama. I saw another reviewer use the term "parentified child" and I had never seen that term used before but this book definitely fits that term and I can relate to that in many ways so this book definitely resonated with me. I think Ezra is a wonderful character and I would love to know them in real life. It's hard to imagine that this is a debut novel as the author does such a wonderful job and has a knack for writing.

This book is deep, heartwarming, charming, funny and a bit silly as well and I think it would appeal to many different readers.

Thank you NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell and Shelly Jay Shore for access to the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a really heavy book. It made me cry and laugh but it had a hard time holding my attention. Ezra is the definition of a parentified child. They are constantly the one keeping the family together and playing peacekeeper. There were aspects of found family and accepting help from those who love you. There seemed to be a lot of recaps throughout the book and sometimes unnecessary descriptions. Overall the book was well written but was not my cup of tea.

Ezra Friedman's journey through life is haunted, both literally and figuratively, by the ghosts of his past and the expectations of his family. Growing up in a funeral home, he grapples with his unique ability to see ghosts, exacerbated by the disapproving gaze of his grandfather's ghost during his transition. Amidst the complexities of grief, identity, and love, Ezra seeks solace by distancing himself from the family business.

This compelling narrative deftly explores themes of grief, identity, and the complexities of family dynamics, blending sensitivity with humor. While centering on a transgender Jewish protagonist, its themes resonate universally, ensuring accessibility for all readers.

The author's prose is both poignant and humorous, capturing the essence of life's highs and lows. Through laughter and tears, the story resonates deeply, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

In conclusion, this novel is a masterfully crafted exploration of life, death, and everything in between. Its beauty lies in its authenticity.

Gratitude to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for the opportunity to experience this remarkable tale.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishing company/Author for providing me with a FREE copy of the book.

This was AMAZING! I just finished it and I’m trying to put words together that are comprehendible. The fact that there’s such a unique plot line with characters you don’t see a lot of representation for and if you do see them it’s mainly just side characters.

Our main character is a fellow who is the glue for his whole family it seems like, but what happens when something goes down and he isn’t able to fix it? As we go along with Ezra and his family and friends we see so many different types of people snd i LOVE IT! each character has their own vibe and they all aren’t straight people lol. we love to see the representation for the lgbtq+ community… AND ADD IN GHOSTS???

I also learned a lot about jewish culture during the reading of this book and i feel like its not often i feel like I’ve taken real facts away from a book but i liked learning new things about a whole different culture I’ve never really knew much about. This was hands down a 5 star read and I’m so glad i was able to read it. Definitely will be recommending this to my friends!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Ballantine/Random House for an ARC of this book in exchange for my review!

Rules for Ghosting is a paranormal romance about Ezra, a doula and yoga instructor (who happens to see ghosts) and must rejoin his family’s funeral home business after his mom drops a shocking revelation on the family. During this, Ezra meets Jonathan, his downstairs neighbor and a volunteer at the funeral home, a recent widower. Ezra’s crush is complicated, however, as one of the ghosts Ezra can see is Jonathan’s husband.

This is an absolutely stunning debut. I couldn’t put it down. I know this book is technically a paranormal romance, however, it has it all. I loved the familial drama and found family aspects. The novel explores tons of heavy topics with the utmost care. Every single event and character feels messy and raw and real. Although this book contains lots of death and paranormal activity, it is not frightening or overwhelmingly upsetting at any point. I was deeply impressed at how warmly everything was handled. All of the sadness and death in the novel is balanced with love, acceptance, family, and life.

I loved Ezra so much. He is well-fleshed out, multifaceted, and compelling as a character. I don’t know that I have ever read another character quite as fully developed as Ezra. I felt like I knew him personally.

Overall, this book was excellent. I will definitely pick up anything else that Shelly Jay Shore decides to write in the future!