Thank you to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell, and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book!

As a queer Jew myself, it's always fantastic to see myself represented, even if I do not align exactly (I am neither an trans man, allo, nor from a religious family, for example) and so it was a double gift to see it done with such lightness and deftness. Full of heart, love, loss and humor, Ezra, his friends, his family, and his partner together combine to make a memorable fairly low-stakes romcom. The funeral home is a mess-- particularly after Ezra's mom leaves it when announcing her infidelity.

To help his family out, Ezra returns-- to the funeral home, to the ghosts, to his long-deceased zayde whose disapproval he cannot and does not desire to untangle. After all, ghosts have rules. They do not move from place to place. They do not speak. They're echos, and he must help help them as he can. But the new ghost-- Jonathan's husband Ben-- can do both. And he wants Jonathan to move on.

Ezra's dog and texts within the book are a joy that help to lift it from the family ghosts that haunt all, both literal and metaphorical. A truly enjoyable read, one I'll recommend to all my queer Jewish friends.

Ezra Friedman grew up in a funeral home. The fact that he can see ghosts made that interesting.

He is going as far away from that life as possible. Until his dream job doesn’t pan out and his mother has announced she is leaving with the Rabbi’s wife. Yep, she did. Ezra comes back to try and save the funeral home business, and now he sees ghosts all the time.

He is also looking with interest at Jonathan, a volunteer at the funeral home and the cute guy who lives beneath Ezra’s apartment. He is very interested.

However, one of the ghosts he sees is Ben. Ben is Jonathan’s dead husband. And he is not behaving very ghostly. He can talk, and move and Ezra is learning what a haunting is.

Excellent Story!


NetGalley/ RHPG BALLENTINE DELL August 20, 2024

vibes: light magic, love after loss, complex families, and waking up into life

Heat Index: 5/10

Ezra has largely disconnected from his family's funeral home--in part because he sees ghosts, and hasn't loved his grandfather's spirit giving him disapproving glares as he's transitioned. But when his mother announces that she's leaving his father for the local rabbi's wife, he's forced to pitch in again. Which brings him into the orbit of the gentle, charming Jonathan... whose late husband appears to be the latest spectral entity haunting Ezra. Ben's presence isn't the only problem (though it certainly does cramp Ezra's style). He also speaks. And moves. In other words--things ghosts aren't supposed to do, and things that definitely cause issues as, slowly--against his own will--Ezra begins falling for Jonathan.

What a strong debut! In a lot of ways, this is as much a family story as it is a romance--the Friedmans are complicated (though, and I think this is important to point out... though they may be imperfect about it, they're largely accepting of Ezra's transition) and as the book goes on, you see how those complications have shaped Ezra and his worldview.

Which, in turn, shapes how he can't quite trust his feelings for Jonathan, or Jonathan's for him. Especially with the dead husband thing. But the paranormal elements of this book are soft, and really serve the character development more than anything else. This is a sweet, funny novel about waking up into your life after sleepwalking for a long time. It is, yes, also about grief and loss... and how life really doesn't stop happening after they occur.

Quick Takes:

--Can I just say... a pseudo love triangle between a guy who sees ghosts, a widower, and the widower's husband's ghost? Brilliant. But it's also not really a love triangle, is it? I loved how super real and honest this story was with the reality of losing a partner to death, rather than by choice. Will Jonathan ever stop loving Ben? Probably not. Does that diminish his feelings for Ezra? Nope.

And a lot of this novel does center on the complexities of love. Of how sometimes, it's not enough. Of how it can end, or take another form. (One of Ezra's close friends is his ex, which I found super interesting.) It's really mature, but not in the manner that anyone acts perfect--they just naturally learn and go through these things together.

--There's a good amount of focus on Ezra's Jewish identity and how that fits into the funeral home, as well as his place in the family as a trans man. None of it comes off as an info dump, and at the same time, I (as someone who isn't Jewish) never felt lost. That's a tough balance to hit. Reading about the rituals was oddly soothing to me--I actually have a lot of anxiety about death, and I worried a bit about that as I opened the book. It was kind of perfect here.

--One really cool note: Ezra is a doula! There's only one fully on the page birth scene, but it's the kind you rarely find depicted in fiction. I super loved that detail.

--Jonathan and Ezra's love story is both inevitable and bittersweet. Because as much as Jonathan still has one foot in the past as someone who lost his spouse... Ezra isn't dissimilar. He also hasn't fully come to terms with a lot of things--he hasn't fully processed his transition (understandably) and there's this huge reframe happening within his family. It's kind of refreshing to see a book in which we see a lead really having to do some work before they can fully be true to not just themself, but their partner.

The Sex:

There's one full sex scene in this one, and it's both explicit and, I think, respectful of the insecurities Ezra still has about his body. (I also want to mention that, as far as I noticed, the author also made an effort to censor Ezra's deadname. Which was super cool.) It's romantic and tender and also hot? And it was real about Jonathan's own new experiences, too. I kind of loved it.

In some ways, Rules for Ghosting is more about metaphorical than literal ghosts--even though there is a literal talking ghost. But more than anything, it's about acceptance and honesty and coming to terms with who you are--and all the things you can't necessarily do, even if you want to, until that happens.

Thanks to NetGalley and Dell for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This stunning debut novel has to be the most unique and heartwarming romance I’ve ever read! At its heart, Rules for Ghosting is not only a queer love story, but a story about messy (but loving) family dynamics, community, grief, and finding self worth. It’s the type of story that will haunt you long after you finish reading it.

Ezra is a bisexual trans man who grew up at his family’s Jewish funeral home, a place that makes it almost impossible to avoid the fact that he can see ghosts. As an adult, he tries to escape the hold death has on him by becoming a birth doula. However, after his mother runs off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra steps in to help at the funeral home again. On top of all the family drama, more complications arise for Ezra when a mysterious ghost—who turns out to be the husband of Jonathan, his widowed neighbor that he’s developing feelings for—starts haunting him.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book a lot! All the characters, even the secondary ones, were well thought-out and fun to read about. Ezra and Jonathan had such a sweet relationship and it was so refreshing to see mature and healthy communication between the two when peak drama threatened their relationship. Additionally, while death is a big part of this book—between the family funeral home, Ezra being a clairvoyant, and Jonathan dealing with the death of his husband—the topic is handled very well and I loved learning about different Jewish customs that are mentioned in the story.

This was such a surprising read. I did not think I was going to enjoy it as much as I did. As an eldest daughter this really hit. I love how they address it in this book. The paranormal aspect was actually well done and cute? I loved this way more than expected and can’t wait to see what comes next with this author.

I absolutely adored this book. It was super educational. It was funny. It was heartwarming. I loved the characters and their journeys. It was a beautiful story.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly jay Shore arc review. Thank for this opportunity to read this book through net galley. I found this book interesting. I like learning about Jewish customs reading this book was informative. Also how this book deal with funeral home and deal with grief, made a impactful. Also I like that the main character get see ghosts I found that so interesting and exciting storyline. I really like the other characters and the found family vibes. I used to work at funeral home so I found this book interesting in that sense. I think they deal with loss in a respectful manner. I also the journey the main character goes on learning about himself. I found it an exciting story and inspired read. I also like the cover art of this novel. This book goes out august 20 ,2024 go give it a chance.

I’m not one to review a book and say too much; I hate when readers feel they have to summarize the book rather than provide a review! I was lucky to have been sent an ARC of this debut novel and can only say that I was fascinated to learn so much about the Jewish cultural practices related to death and burial, as well as to get to know the characters in this book, a of whom are funny, flawed, scared, and exciting, and that includes Sappho the dog! This book is truly the Jewish version of Six Feet Under, the family-owned and run funeral home and chapel. These characters could be anyone we know, gay, straight, trans, bi, etc. they have jobs, quirky families, insecurities, and fears that hold them back from experiencing life to its fullest. Our lives are peppered with the ghosts of our past, oftentimes keeping us stuck in place not knowing how to, or if we should fight to move on. There was a chapter that addresses the death of an acquaintance that was so incredibly touching that I cried for the humanity and love that was portrayed. If this is her debut novel, I can’t wait to read what comes next!! thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy.

This was such a well-written book. I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be about, but I was hooked only a few chapters in. The author did such an amazing job developing characters and giving the reader a chance to explore perspectives. Ezra’s character is not one that I’ve ever read about, so I was appreciative of this chance to broaden my typical reads. The way the author explores internal conflict and choices was beautifully done through such an interesting lens. I’m excited for this book to come out and have my friends read!

THIS IS A DEBUT????? oh my dayssss i loved it
i just finished dead boy detectives on netflix yesterday and i started it with this book! SAME VIBE
i adored ezra !!!!
thank you netgalley and the publisher for giving me this arc
5 stars no notes!

This took me a few chapters to get into the story, but once I did, it was fantastic! This was such a sweet paranormal story about finding and accepting yourself and I absolutely adored Ezra! Please do yourself a favor and pick up this sweet debut of a novel when it's released!

Thank you to NetGalley and to Random House Publishing for my digital ARC!

I really enjoyed the concept of this book. It was funny, heartbreaking, educational even. The book had a slow pace to it and it did take me some time to really get into the story. What I did enjoy was the characters background (jewish), because it was educational on their background, what they do when someone passes, what they celebrate. It was also educational on the LGBTQ community, which was very nice. I’ve never read a book that intertwined religion with sexuality, so this was new for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thank you so much, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell, and NetGalley, for the chance to read this book in exchange of an honest review.

TW: Death, loss, grief

Ezra Friedman is able to see ghosts and growing up in a funeral home wasn't easy at all, mostly since his grandfather's ghost is still there. When is dream job is put on hold since they have to refurbish the whole building and his mother announces she's running away with the rabbi's wife at Passover, he's convinced to work again in the funeral home, helping his family. Not only that, but he's recently moved in the same building of the husband's ghost he started to see. This ghost is the only one who can speak, determined to help his loved husband find happiness again, maybe with Ezra. For Ezra, though, opening himself up is the most difficult thing to do. Trying to keep his flailing family togethere, between financial problems, ghosts problems, marriage and divorce, Ezra is determined to do anything. But helping himself, feeling worthy of love is part of his own growth.

I LOVED reading this book! It has everything! Family drama, messy family, sibling relationships, ghosts, falling in love, queer love, found family, community, accepting, loving and embracing oneself and a huge diverse cast, with a trans and gay MC.
Rules of ghost is part romance and part ghost story, set in a Jewish family and community, and it's funny and moving and so sweet. Ezra is a brilliant MC and I loved Ollie, Jonathan, Nina...I loved them all. I loved the tight community and the wonderful sibling relationship. I adored reading of small Ezra fighting to be himself and his relationship with his grandfather and the funeral home, how he started to see ghosts and how Ben's ghost defied every single rule he thought he knew, pushing him out of his comfort zone, not only with his siblings, but also with Jonathan and himself.
This book is a cuddle, moving and so intriguing. I loved every single thing, and mostly how much Ezra grew in it, embracing himself and his passions, realizing how much of himself he was giving, so accepting help and others in.
The family drama and the love story were absolutely perfect and well meshed and I loved everything.

LOVED IT.

A fabulous debut!

I am so delightfully surprised this is a debut novel. It's incredibly well-written and inclusive.

This book has a lot going on. The MC Ezra is a trans bisexual man who helps run his family's funeral one, can see ghosts, and has a huge crush on his neighbor whose husband's ghost is hanging around. Family, grief, love and identity are big themes here. I think Shore does a great job weaving all the themes together without making it seem preachy. I think the author blends the serious/heavy issues beautifully with humor and heart.

I think the love story was really beautiful. It moves at a good pace and seems to develop naturally, especially considering the ghostly presence.

Definitely recommend if you're looking for LGBTQ+ representation filled with family, love, and ghosts.

Thank you so much Random House, NetGalley, and Shelly Jay Shore for the ARC!

Release Date: August 20, 2024

Ezra can see ghosts, his family owns a funeral home, his mom drops some news on passover and Ezra is laid off of his job due to renovations. He also maybe think his downstairs neighbor is cute.

I think this was really good. The characters had so much personality and seemed like real people. The paranormal aspect was there but it wasn’t the entirety of the book even though its intertwined with the whole plot. Theres a doggo in this book as well. It was kind of slow for being a shorter book, but that was okay because quality over quantity. I do recommend when it comes out!!

I loved this book! So excited to enjoy a romance with a trans main character! (My son is trans and I love seeing positive representation.) The characters were so dynamic that I could barely put the book down. Ezra is the MC and he sees ghosts. Unfortunately for him, his family owns a funeral home. To get away from the ghosts, Ezra is a yoga teacher and a doula! From growing up with death to caring for people giving birth!

The story begins with Ezra moving the same day his family is having their Passover Seder. He meets a cute guy who lives down stairs and is wearing a wedding ring. He also sees that the new place comes with its own ghost. (A story where the main character sees ghosts but there are no jump scares is my kind of ghost story.) That night at his family’s Seder he sees the ghost again, which breaks Ezra’s rules about ghosts. They don’t usually follow him. Then Ezra’s downstairs neighbor comes in with the Rabbi and his wife to join the Seder. Ezra’s mother drops the bomb that she and the Rabbi’s wife are having an affair and want to be together. This forces Ezra to go back to the “chapel” in order to pick his mother’s slack in the office of the funeral home. Turns out Jonathan, his downstairs neighbor, volunteers there.

Ezra hasn’t shared with anyone he sees ghost and doesn’t really want to start now. But with seeing Ben, Jonathan’s dead husband, everywhere and Ben actually breaking another rule and talking to Ezra…our MC has so much on his shoulders and ends up needing to share his sightings with someone!

Ezra’s family and found family in this book are nearly the best part. Ezra’s dog Sappho was up there too. Frankly the growing friend/relationship between Ezra and the amazing Jonathan is what kept me riveted.

Thank you to Random House and Net Galley for this ARC and the opportunity to give my honest review.

Es una dulce historia. Por la sinopsis pensé que la historia giraria en torno a que Ezra ve fantasmas, pero no fue así, es un tema importante para el desarrollo de él como personaje, mas no el centro de todo, hay tantas cosas con las que Ezra carga a raíz de ver los fantasmas, pero también cosas que carga por la dinámica familiar y que son importantes de arreglar.


No se como sentirme acerca de que Jonathan se quitara su anillo de matrimonio de dedo hasta el final y ponelo como collar.

Lo de la mamá primero de dejó en shock, pero luego pase al enojo porque la señora es una cobarde y se hacia la víctima paga que le perdonarán lo que hizo. No me gustó como al final todos la perdonaron y hasta la amante se unió a las reuniones familiares, me sentí mal por el papá.



Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for and honest review.

I don't use this term lightly, but I would dare to call Rules for Ghosting "cozy."

It is a romance and a family drama, yes, but foremost it's a story about Ezra navigating his (gender transcendent) "eldest daughter syndrome."

Ezra has spent his entire life playing mediator and tying himself in knots to make other people happy. He is the emotional center of his family. We follow him as he slowly finds his voice and his self-worth, in his romantic, platonic, and familial relationships.

Even while right in the melodrama, this book still feels like a warm hug.

This was so cute ! Perfect if you liked the dead romantics or the undertaking of mercy and hart ! I love a good paranormal ghostly romance !

Very original, and an entertaining read. The inclusivity in this book is something you don’t normally find and was handled wonderfully