This was an absolutely beautiful read. The characters were rich and faceted, the plot was interesting and fresh. I enjoyed every moment!

I am reviewing a bit late and it has been a while since I finished the book, but I absolutely loved this story and the romance was HOT. I will absolutely be re-reading for the next halloween season

Am I glad I read it? I am, frankly, kicking myself for procrastinating it so long.

Back in May I shared [on my Booksta account] a post titled “The Joy of Being Earnest,” in which I proffered a collection of books I love that take sincerity seriously and reflect the bravery of queer earnestness. These are books that are openly, warmly sincere in how they treat their characters and what they give to their readers.

Fellow readers, I add RULES FOR GHOSTING to that list.

It’s a wonderfully layered novel, not so much heavy as it is weighty, full of hurt and also chances for forgiveness and healing. About feeling distant and different and hard to love, only to be shown so so much of it. About forming your personhood around taking care of others, only to learn that you don’t need to do penance for needing to be loved.

And it’s a debut?? Cue the applause.

(It doesn’t hurt that this book is written in 3rd person present tense, which I LOVE in a romance.)

Rating: 💜 (loved)

Thank you to Ballentine Books/Dell & Netgalley for the advance copy of this title, which has been out for months now but that’s not the point!

Ezra Friedman grew up in a funeral home. This comes with its set of complications, especially when his grandfather dies and becomes a ghost Ezra can see and interact with.

From that start I thought the ghosts were going to be more prevalent in the plot, but maybe that's because I like that kind of thing... live action version of Casper... etc. Anyway, so that was a small disappointment, but overall the characters were all tangled together nicely. It was a pleasant read, but lacked the depth I feel most early reviews claimed it had.

A charming and heartfelt novel that combines paranormal romance with a touching family drama, with the setting of a Jewish funeral home. The writing is sharp and engaging with a great balance of humor and emotion.
Many thanks to Random House and to Netgalley for providing me with a galley in exchange for my honest opinion.

I loved this cover, one of my favorites from 2024's releases, but it really doesn't do a good job at representing the story at all. Looking at this I expected something a bit more fun and lighthearted, but this was not that story. Shore has served us a super-sized meal in this story but the characters were only meant to carry a medium, so we have a lot of plot lines that overflow and end up cold and disregarded. I loved that there was strong LGBT+ representation, and the Jewish angle was well presented and informative, but overall it was too much. That said, Shore has the ability to tell a good story, and I hope to hear more, just maybe a bit more red pen next time around.

My thanks to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine/Dell, the author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Read 10/10/24

I'm starting to think goodreads is deleting my re news because I remember writing a full panty review for this book. Oh well. This was NOT what I was expecting from the title/cover. I wanted something a tad darker but still with all the same elements it gave. I liked the story but it was literally just a queer romance with some ghosts thrown in. Was definitely hoping for more ghosts/creepier stuff happening.

(I got an ARC of this from NetGalley, but it’s out now!) I really loved this story – it has really great queer rep, found family, romance, and ghosts, but the non-scary kind. Ezra’s family owns a funeral home, and he can see ghosts, which isn’t quite the ideal combination, and is why he tried to get as far away from the family business as soon as he was able. But after some family drama a la Grace and Frankie, Ezra agrees to step in and help fill in for his mother now that she’s no longer working there. But while there, Ezra meets a ghost who just happens to have been the husband of his cute new neighbor… a ghost who keeps breaking all the “rules” that Ezra come to understand the ghosts always follow. I learned a lot about Jewish funeral and mourning rituals while reading this, which I loved. I thought it also handled death and grieving and life in a really beautiful way.

Oh my god!! This was easily one of the best books I read all year! I absolutely loved it. It had me kicking my feet and laughing one second and sobbing the next. This author is now an auto buy author for me

I was excited to read this book based on the cover and description, however, I ultimately DNF'd at 20%. I had a hard time connecting with the characters and the story felt much heavier than the expectation I had. I did appreciate the queer and Jewish representation in the story, though.

Rules For Ghosting will pull at all of your heartstrings in the best way. The characters are very well written and memorable and you can feel their emotions like they are your own. This is a book I will be thinking of for a long time. I can’t wait to read what this author writes next!

This was a sweet and tender love story! I really enjoyed how Jewish traditions were portrayed in this, and Ezra's character. I also really liked the found family element.

Content of book did not match cover and title. Story seemed much more heavy and human issues focused. Was not as paranormal as I thought it would be. DNF.

I thought this was very good and I will have to add this to the shop shelves. Thank you for the chance for us to review.

Representation: Gay trans Jewish MC, multiple queer supporting cast

Ezra, a gay trans Jewish man who can see ghosts, comes from a family who runs a funeral home. Of course, he tries to run away from that by becoming a doula, working with life rather than death. But after the chaos of his mother coming out during Passover seder and running away with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra steps in to help out at the funeral home. He also suddenly has to deal with having a crush on a volunteer there, who also has the ghost of his husband hanging around and breaking every ghost rule Ezra knows of.

Rating: 4.5/5 This was a very enjoyable read, giving us some look into the running of a funeral home, especially with Jewish death traditions. I loved the conversations between Ben, the ghost, and Ezra, the discussions about love and death. I loved the dynamics of everyone, the push and pull that was there. They don’t shy away from how difficult it can be when big things are dropped on family with no warning, and how they rebuild and heal after that, if at all. I would absolutely recommend this read.

This book sucked me in and I didn't want to let go. Usually when I'm reading a great book I want to speed through it, devour it. But with "Rules for Ghosting", I wanted to savor it. I found myself shutting the book for the night because I couldn't bear it to end.
This is not a book with an action-packed plot. Instead, it's a character study, an examination of humanity. These characters are real, flawed but not unlikable. I wanted to spend more time with them and wasn't ready for their journey to end.

As others have said, this book is a lot heavier than I was expecting from the blurb and the cover. However, I'm not totally mad at that. I actually kind of like that it dived deeper into some more complex themes. It really made me love the characters more, as I found myself connecting with them deeply. The characters really drive this story and make it what it is. And the queer rep in this is fantastic. I always love queer romances and this delivered. Really enjoyed this even more than I was expecting!

"Rules for Ghosting" by Shelly Jay Shore is a remarkable debut that intertwines themes of love, grief, and family drama within a unique setting—a Jewish funeral home. The story follows Ezra, a reluctant clairvoyant who navigates his complex feelings for Jonathan while dealing with the pressures of saving his family's struggling business.

Shore's writing is vibrant and engaging, capturing the intricacies of human connections with a mix of humor and poignancy. The portrayal of Ezra as a trans individual adds a significant layer of representation, making the narrative not only relatable but also educational regarding queer and Jewish identities. The incorporation of Jewish customs surrounding death is handled with sensitivity and depth, enriching the story without feeling didactic.

The characters are well-developed, with Ezra and Jonathan's relationship evolving beautifully throughout the book. Their chemistry is palpable, and the exploration of their bond amidst the backdrop of family obligations and the presence of ghosts adds an intriguing twist. Readers will find themselves emotionally invested in their journey, as well as in the dynamics of Ezra's family and friends.

While many readers appreciate the book's cozy ghost elements, some have noted that the ghostly aspects could have been more prominent. The narrative sometimes leans heavily into family drama, which may detract from those expecting a more traditional paranormal romance. However, this blend ultimately serves to highlight the themes of loss and healing that resonate throughout.

"Rules for Ghosting" is a heartfelt exploration of love in its many forms: romantic, familial, and chosen. Shore's debut is not just a ghost story; it's a reflection on what haunts us in life and how we can find solace in connection. This book is highly recommended for readers looking for an emotional yet humorous read that offers both depth and charm. I look forward to seeing more from Shelly Jay Shore in the future

I loved this novel. The plot was unique, the writing was great and I loved the characters. Can’t wait to read more from this author!

I was super excited about this book due to the cover and cute name, definitely heavier than I thought it would be! Still a great story, but definitely had different expectations going in.