I used to not think that I enjoyed paranormal romance - I know better than to say that now! The fact that this is a debut novel just astounds me and I cannot share enough praise for Shelly as she truly just deserves so much.

The representation in this book is top tier - I absolutely adored how Jewish customs were accurately represented, the Trans and LGBTQ+ representation - it was all incredibly well done. The inclusion is just wonderful.

Ezra, oh Ezra - he wormed his way into my heart in the opening pages, and I just grew to care more and more about him as I turned the pages and read more. Such a fantastic opening to this book, and the setting really is just haunting in such a way that you just find yourself wanting more. Jonathan is the absolute sweetest, kindest man of all and Ben? Ben is just dreamy in all aspects.

The found family trope is beautifully crafted and I found myself truly enjoying the intensive monologues. The romance was beautiful, and can we just talk about that first kiss? How endearing that was, how desperately it made me want to hug Ben - but alas, you can't hug a ghost!!

I loved the exploration of love, grief, loss, and finding strength to carry on. I loved this story so very much, and truly wish that I could read it for the first time again.

Thank you so much, Random House Publishing Group/Ballantine and NetGalley, for this amazingly beautiful e-Arc in exchange for my honest review.

Set in a Jewish family and community, Rules of Ghost is a humorous, touching, and incredibly charming blend of romance and ghost story. This remarkable book delves into loss, mortality, romantic relationships, the difficulties and demands of being the eldest daughter, and the existence of ghosts.

This novel has such wonderful characters, and Ezra really won my heart. I felt the relationship between Ezra and Jonathan was adorable, and I loved learning about the specifics of Ezra's family. And as a non-Jew, I also enjoyed learning more about Jewish traditions and festivals from this book.

The presence of ghosts in the story enhanced its charm. The way that mourning was handled and the spirits' involvement was wonderful, and it was good to watch how Jon and Ezra became closer and more understanding of one another. Additionally, every turn and twist was incredibly fascinating and even surprising in the greatest manner possible.

I believe that a wide range of readers would find this book to be insightful, endearing, fascinating, humorous, and even a little foolish. The concept of losing who you are and bearing the weight of others was addressed in an original manner.

Considering that this is Shelly Jay Shore's debut book, I am really impressed. I can't wait to read more books by this author.

I typically don’t gravitate towards books that feature paranormal activity but I’m so glad that I decided to give this book a shot! Ezra’s journey was endearing and I loved reading about his family and romantic journey!

What a unique and delightful debut novel!
Ezra Friedman has spent his whole life surrounded by ghosts, growing up in a funeral home with both the living and the dead casting judgment on him. He’s eager to leave that world behind, especially his grandfather’s lingering, disapproving spirit. But just as he’s ready to break free, his dream job falls apart, and his mom’s scandalous decision to run off with the rabbi’s wife brings disgrace to the family. Now, with the funeral home on the brink of collapse, Ezra has no choice but to return. Thankfully, Jonathan, a volunteer at the funeral home, adds a bit of light to the situation—though things get complicated when Ezra starts seeing Jonathan’s late husband, Ben, who becomes the first ghost to actually communicate with him.
This book offers a mix of family drama, romance, and a deep dive into themes of grief and healing. It does start off a little fast, but once you get past the initial setup, the story really draws you in. The LGBTQIA+ representation feels legit, and the way the book weaves together ideas about life, death, and moving forward is handled with care. The characters, especially the family and friends, are easy to connect with, and there’s an underlying sense of hope throughout the story. Overall, it's an emotional, thoughtful read with just the right amount of magic and heart.

When I started reading Rules for Ghosting, I began with the ebook, and I found myself becoming uninterested due to the slightly long setup. However, I starting listening to the audiobook shortly after and ended up loving it! It's proof that a different format of a book can really help it sing.

Petey Gibson truly brings Ezra and his community to life, allowing every drop of emotion, sarcasm, and grief to shine. I found myself relating to the Friedmans and their dynamics thanks to Gibson's distinct voice and cadence for each person. In addition, Shore's humor throughout the book can be dry or hard to miss for some readers. The audiobook hits every punchline, big or small, so I found myself laughing a bit more than when I was reading.

Definitely pick this one up if you're looking for a paranormal story that will make you laugh while you cry, cry while you laugh, and be very thankful that your last Passover was nowhere near as dramatic as this one!

Oh my gosh was this amazing!!! LGBTQIA+ and Jewish?? I love it. Ezra was a perfect main character, and his family and friends were the best secondaries. The story kept me wondering what would happen next, and kept me cheering Ezra on. Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

Sweet but difficult, emotional read about Ezra, a trans man who sees ghosts, his family’s funeral home (and gay drama), and his new love interest with Jonathan, his downstairs neighbor slash coworker who happens to be the grieving widow of Ezra’s latest ghost sighting. This book reminds me a lot of TJ Klune’s Under the Whispering Door, with its themes of chosen and found family, redemption, and love that crosses the boundaries of life and death. It’s so much more than a lighthearted queer/trans romance, and it deals heavily with themes of grief, dysphoria, and family discord. I really enjoyed it and would recommend it to others, especially queer & trans folks or those who are looking for a book on grief.

Thanks to Ballentine and Netgalley for this advanced copy!

What a wonderful story of romance, grief, transition, and family. I loved Ezra, he was such a great and complex character. I liked how the author unfurled his story with Jonathan's, giving us more and more about Jonathan and Ben's as he and Ezra grew closer. The family and found family in this book is great and the Jewish rep was top notch. I also love getting stories of Jews who live somewhere other than NYC. The author did a great job of bringing a lot of different B and C plots together at the end in a way that didn't feel rushed or perfect; they were still appropriately messy like families are.

Overall, I can't wait for Shelly Jay Shore's next book, this was fantastic!

I was excited to get approved for this one via NetGalley but ultimately it fell a bit flat for me. Parts of the story were enjoyable, and I'll definitely give this author another try but this felt like she was trying to put too much into the story and it didn't quite come together well enough, imo.

This book has great Jewish and Trans representation. It is found family, grief, and romance. While it also has a paranormal angle, I expected that to feel like a bigger part of the story than it actually ended up being. I think people's reviews show they are surprised that this book is fairly heavy and slow paced. If you go in with that expectation (as opposed to expecting a lighter paranormal romance) you will enjoy this book like I did.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ramdon House Books (Ballantine | Dell) for my ARC.

Very cute, seasonal story. I loved, loved, loved the representation of trans individuals - that was actually one of my favorite aspects of the story. Having a trans main character was amazing, and being able to go on that journey, while maybe not the only portion of the story, was the most striking to me.

Additionally, I appreciated the representation of Judaism in the story. I am not Jewish, so I think it’s important for me to read about it.

However, and unfortunately, I didn’t love the writing style. Sometimes, the writing felt disjointed, or difficult to follow the story. This may very well be a “me” thing. There are others who I feel would love this story. I will not be publicly posting a review for this book, as I don’t like to leave less than a 4-star review. I feel that many would love this book, and I don’t want a 3-star rating to deter them!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC copy of this book.
I really wanted to like this but I just couldn’t get into it.
I DNF’d this book at 15%.
I think there was too much going on and character jumping , where I had to constantly go back to figure out who I was reading about again.
So far I found out that the main character grew up as a girl but now identifies as male, and he sees ghosts, sometimes in the form of how they died. His family owns a mortuary but he is trying to continue work as a Doula. He thinks instead of seeing death all day, he rather be a part of life. During a family gathering, mom decides to drop a bombshell and tell everyone she is in love with one of her old friends, who also is a woman. Because of this, Ezra now has to pick up slack at the family business.

I will try to pick this back up, but right now I just couldn’t. I’m giving 2 stars because I don’t think the story is bad, I just didn’t stay interested in it enough and had to constantly re-read through the chapter just to gather what’s going on.

DNF

This one is part romance, part family drama mixed with some ghosts. I enjoyed learning about Jewish traditions, but ultimately the story was moving too slowly for me.

🗣 Thank you to netgalley and Random House for the opportunity to read and review this book via gifted eARC! All opinions are honest and my own.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me an advance copy in exchange for a fair and honest review. I did not like this book, I feel I was mislead at this being marketed as a romance it is a book with a romance but not a romance book. This is more a book about grief and family trauma. I also felt this book was more marketed about the ghosts than the book is actually about. I also found the writing very dragging. I might have enjoyed this more if the marketing was more accurate.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME???

this book started with the epigraph, "to all the oldest daughters, current and former. let this be your reminder to breathe." which should have warned me to get some water for rehydration and a lot of kleenex. i essentially metabolized decades of feelings in the course of a 10 hour audiobook that i listened to on high speed, which was arguably too fast? but i've sort of felt incredible ever since finishing.

okay but onto the book, since this isn't just about my fast-track family therapy. the oldest child in a family that runs a jewish funeral home comes back to temporarily cover all the office duties, and starts having feelings for a man who is a part of the chevra kadisha. oh, and he also sees the ghost of this guy's ex husband. oh, and his queer collective house that he just moved into is in the same building as this man's apartment. and also his family is falling apart and he feels responsible for keeping everything together. big "i've seen ghosts my whole life but didn't tell anyone because that seemed like it would stress other people out so i just handled it on my own" energy.

this MIGHT be the final book in my top 5 romances of the year but september does seem a bit early to commit. TBC!

Ezra Friedman can see ghosts which is difficult when your family runs a funeral home. When Ezra loses his dream job (away from the family) and his mother decides to run away with the rabbi's wife, Ezra reluctantly comes home to help his family and their dying business (no pun intended).

Ezra also has the unfortunate luck of having a crush on Jonathan who is a volunteer at the funeral home and whose dead husband Ben is a talking ghost who is haunting him.

I enjoyed the plot and thought it was a fun read. There were a few parts of the story that were left unanswered for me, but I liked the characters and their development but wish there was a little more at the end.

This book was not what I expected it to be. I was hoping for a little more spooky and some more beef to the storyline.
The characters were very likeable and overall it was a decent read!
Thanks for the ARC

This was a solid debut, and I am really glad to see others picking it up. The Jewish rep made for a very unique read, and seeing Jewish customs interwoven into a book with magical realism is really cool.

This book was a great read! I really enjoyed it even if the subject is sometimes hard for me. I am trying really hard to read more death related books that talk about it in a comforting kind way. My anxiety was high during some parts but I loved the paranormal aspect to this book. I also loved learning more about Jewish customs, as I am adopted on my dad’s side and recently found out my bio family members are Jewish. It also makes my little 💗💜💙 happy!

If you’re looking for a paranormal romance book that dives into some tough topics, then this is for you!

Rules for Ghosting is part family drama, part queer found family, part saving the family business, and part ghost story. Ezra’s grandfather opened a funeral to be closer to the relatives he lost in the Holocaust and two generations later, it’s still in the family. The business is passed down to the firstborn son which makes me wonder what would have happened if the oldest child was a girl. At the start of the book, Ezra’s parents and Ezra’s older brother work there.

The story plunges headfirst into drama which contributed to me being entertained from the start. During the Passover seder, it’s revealed that his mom is in love with the rabbi’s wife and they run off together. Meanwhile, the same rabbi’s son died a year ago and their son-in-law Jonathan is still in love with him. This is part of the reason he works at the funeral home. Talk about complicated family dinners. After Ezra’s mom runs away with her girlfriend, Ezra takes over her role in the company. For the ghost portion of the story, Ezra sees Jonathan’s ex-husband Ben, his grandfather, and various other ghosts in passing, but their roles are all minor and it was never explained why he possesses this ability. Jonathan’s ex-husband is also the only ghost who can speak. Unfortunately, I think it veered too far into saving the family business and not enough into the ghost story.

Almost the entire cast is queer. For example, Ezra is trans and bisexual, his ex-boyfriend is ace, and his love interest Jonathan is gay. His best friend is a transwoman and she is interested in Max adding a wlw relationship. Ezra moves into his ex-boyfriend’s apartment complex and instantly becomes part of a found family with them which makes their relationship feel a bit forced instead of organic. However, this didn’t stop me from loving the found family vibes. Ollie and Max live on the top floor; Ezra, Noah, and Lily are on the middle floor, and Jonathan has the bottom floor. A room in this apartment complex opened up when their old roommate moved in with her girlfriend, U-Haul style. The apartment is also a 3 minute walk from a coffee shop. Goals. Furthermore, Ezra’s dog is dog-narrated which is cute.

As Ezra is trans, he mentions being on testosterone and using a binder and packer. He also mentions having curly hair, a classic Jewish trait. The book starts off when he was a child and everyone saw him as a girl which was interesting to read narratively. I liked that because of Ezra’s sexuality, he mentioned he had to come out twice. Meanwhile, I loved how Jonathan was gay instead of bi, yet he accepted Ezra fully and acts like his binder is normal. When Ezra breaks down, Jonathan is there. I could feel the emotion between them, such as when they look at each other with longing. It contains non-descriptive sex scenes which are not quite closed door. Due to his dysphoria, Erza likes sex but has issues with it while his ex Ollie likes sex very rarely and has issues with it. I wish the author gave us more information about Ollie and Ezra’s relationship or conversations with Ollie since it would have been fun to read more about them. They were broken up at the start of the book but remained friends.

Ezra’s second job is being a birth doula while Jonathan is a death doula, though we don’t get any more information on that. In one particular birth, he helped a trans man give birth. I think this was an important inclusion. Especially since Ezra mentions he wants kids. Meanwhile, his sister decided at the age of seven that she doesn’t want them. I love that.

Rules for Ghosting is also very Jewish and it uses Hebrew and Yiddish language. I think this book could have benefited from some explanations about jewish customs, rituals, and funeral rites like omer. I had to google many words despite growing up Jewish. The taharah is one Jewish funeral rite which is briefly described and is a gender separated activity. Jonathan asked Ezra for help and guided him through it as he only did it with women in the past which was uncomfortable for him. I found this bittersweet.

I think ultimately I wanted more from this book. I started off loving it and there was some funny dialogue, but by the end, I was a little bored as it moved away from ghost story and towards saving their unsuccessful family business. There’s a brief exploration of grief, especially second-hand, and life and death. I don’t think it quite worked for me. Additionally, as part of taking over for his mom, he mentions hating math which is a pet peeve of mine. Hating math is cool right? To conclude the ghost story, Ben and Ezra realize they suffer from the same issue which is believing people aren’t OK if they’re not there to help them. Everyone comes to Ezra with their problems because he’s easier to talk to than their parents. He struggles with letting people help themselves and others help him because he’s helped people all his life. Overcoming this is a learning moment from them and the conclusion of the ghost story.