3.5⭐️

Thank you so much to Dell, Netgalley, and PRH Audio for providing advanced copies of this! All thoughts and opinions are still my own.

When this book appeared on my radar, the mix of queer romance, Jewish rep, and ghosty elements immediately caught my attention. I've been on the hunt for some contemporary, slightly paranormal romances and this fit perfectly.

Overall I enjoyed this. I thought the ghost elements were well done, there is so much Jewish culture woven throughout, and I liked all the family/community relationships explored alongside the romance.

This just didn't leave me with much of a lasting impression. I'm writing this review about a month later and almost all of the details have disappeared... It's one of those books that I will recommend and I think a lot of readers will enjoy. It's just not something that will go down as an all-time favorite.

Ghost stories are usually not my thing and I have recently bounced off of similar works. But the writing in this is so vivid and engaging that I immediately became invested in Ezra's journey. The found family and Jewish family dynamics with just good people being good to each other all around was just the right cozy combo I needed going into spooky season. More trans adults coming of age stories with strong family and culture dynamics, please!

There is a lot happening in this book. Ezra's family owns a funeral home and at a family Passover seder his mom announces she's running off with Rabbi's wide, which means Ezra has to step in to help his family business. Oh! And Ezra sees ghosts, specifically his grandfather who passed when Ezra was a child.

There were a lot characters to keep track off, a lot of back plot and explaining that didn't feel like it was always necessary and in general made the book too long. I think this was an ambitious story but had spotty execution.

Thank you to Netgalley & Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell for the advanced reader copy.

I honestly don't know how to talk about how remarkable Shelly's book is, other than to say it is one of my favorite books of all time.

RULES FOR GHOSTING is... a tender comedy about family and grief and love. A layered exploration of life and death and how they are intertwined and constant. A queer trans coming-of-age. A subtle romance where there are no soulmates, but instead overlapping loves and connections and the fear/joy of being known.

Also included: ghosts, doulas, a dog named Sappho.

Rules for Ghosting is first and foremost a novel about love, and how that love can become grief without us ever learning truly how to process it.

Ezra Friedman is a trans, bisexual, Jewish man who sees ghosts and with his family in the funeral business ghosts abound. Just when he feels like his life is on a track he likes, great job, new roommates (with zero ghosts in the apartment), a solid friend group, and his family more settled into their routine, it all implodes in one day with his job stability going out the window along with his parents' marriage. With that Ezra finds himself back in the family business, and seeing the volunteer, and his new neighbor, way too often.

This novel is about love and grief and how to two can be so deeply interwoven that we don't fully see it till it explodes in our faces. With the messy family dynamics, the queer central core, and the messy relationships and found family that the book reenforces this novel had everything it needed to be a tear jerker. I found myself more than once deeply connecting with the emotions of Ezra and his need to both care for everyone else, and self-hatred that left him feeling as if he did not deserve anything good.

I would pick this one up if you are looking for:
- Found and Birth family dynamics
- Moving on after grief
- Possessing grief from multiple sources
- Queer and Trans MMC's
- Extremely Diverse and queer core
- Ghosts but not spooky or scary
- Queer RomCom vibes

I received an advance review copy of this book, and I am leaving this review voluntarily and all thoughts and opinions are wholly my own and unbiased.

Thank you to Netgalley for a chance to read this eArc in exchange for an honest review.

I'll admit that the beautiful cover + ghosts drew me in at first, but there is so much to love about the book.

Most of the characters were flawed and lovable. It's nice reading something where the people feel real. The representation was incredible and while I am not the target audience, I really learned a lot and it was very interesting.

Did I expect it to be a little lighter? Yes! There was a lot of grief and trauma handling within these pages that I wasn't completely expecting. I will say that the pace was on and off for me. I think it picked up really good at 70% and I couldn't stop. But it was slower going before that.

Oddly, the story would have mostly been complete with or without the ghosts. I am still curious why Ben was able to break the rules and I wish the ghosts more involved. It is clear that the use of ghosts in this story is very much a metaphor for the grief everyone is dealing with. The author just made that grief come alive with the use of ghosts as a physical manifestation of it.

Overall, it was a good read. I enjoyed most aspects of it and would read more by this author.

This book is truly unique! the mix of mystical, family drama, grief, healing, and romance with just the right touch of wit. While the beginning felt a bit rushed, by Chapter 4, I was fully invested in the characters and their journeys.

The LGBTQIA+ representation felt authentic, and the themes of life, death, and transitions were woven in beautifully without feeling forced. The friendships were engaging, and the family dynamics made me feel instantly connected. Overall, it’s a hopeful and heartwarming read, perfect for the fall season.

While this book dealt with much heavier topics than I expected, I still really loved it. I found myself needing to take a few breaks from it because there was soooo much drama happening constantly. I loved the found family but feel the idea of Ezra's found family was introduced, but then left aside as the drama with his biological family took over the plot. Overall, I did enjoy the characters and would recommend this book to others.

I truly enjoyed this book and the concept of this. I loved the different representations among the characters and the story overall. It had me hooked early on. Had a literal GENTLY throwing my kindle to my chest moment.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This was funny, cute, and a good mix of romance and paranormal.

I want to reread this now that it is out and I'm hoping to get a physical copy or it again on my Kindle.

I enjoyed all of the different representation that was presented in this book, and overall this was good for a debut.

I loved this book. It is one of those books where if you try to explain what is going on, it sounds like a lot, but everything came together so seamlessly. There was romance, family drama, and supernatural but somehow everything just works The characters were well developed.. I will recommend this book to anyone that will listen.

Rules for Ghosting is a charming romance story mixed with a ghost story. I am looking forward to reading more from Shelly Jay Shore.

This is not a feel good, happy go lucky read, as I was expecting. This is a fairly serious, make you feel things story, and probably unlike anything I’ve ever read before.

Great for Jewish and or LGBTQ+ audiences, which I am not, but it was interesting to read the cultural differences.

Good writing, but not what I was expecting.

I'm just so glad that I was given the opportunity to read this book. I am probably not the most targeted audience, but that's the beautiful thing about books. I learned so much about the Jewish faith and their practices regarding death as well as some of the struggles that transgender individuals might come across in their every day lives. I found this book to be just heart warming, thought provoking and hard to put down. The characters were so well developed. What I thought I was getting in to with this book was reading about how Ezra is haunted by the ghosts in his family funeral parlor that he had to return to follow a scandal involving his mother and the rabbi's wife. What the book really is is an examination of family dynamics, how it is to live as a queer individual in a family unit that is dealing with their own hardships including keeping the family business running. It wasn't necessarily a spooky season read like I thought it was going to be, but it was certainly an important one. I highly recommend to read this book! 4.25/5 stars.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher Random House Publishing Group - Ballentine for an advanced readers copy of this book. All opinions within this review are my own.

If you found yourself drawn to this beautiful book based on the premise (and, let’s be honest, that cover art), I think you’ll be just as fulfilled as I was when I read the last page. RULES FOR GHOSTING is a quirky love story… that’s also a ghost story… that’s also a story about identity and faith. It’s as close to a reassuring hug as a book can be. There is no ugliness or bigotry in this book despite many openings for it. It’s about navigating our own identity within our families, both biological and chosen. And it’s about finding a way to come to terms with the things that haunt us - literally and metaphorically. Some parts felt rushed and there may have been a few too many characters than necessary beyond the family but that’s all irrelevant because I’ve got a full heart and a big grin on my face after finishing it. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance copy. All opinions are entirely my own.

DNF. Too many characters introduced too quickly and it all just felt very confusing and hard to keep track of. I was really excited about this one but it just felt very overwhelming right up front.

No family is perfect, even if they look like it and no romance is simple.

From saving their Jewish funeral home, to seeing and talking to ghosts, and to falling in love with someone who is still grieving a huge loss, this author makes you feel a multitude of emotions along with the main character.

Honestly, I struggled getting into this book at first… I’m not Jewish nor trans and I wasn’t sure if I would feel connected to the main character but boy was I wrong. I am in love with all of the characters in this book. The trans main character, the crazy roommates, the hot downstairs neighbor, the sassy ex, the parents, the siblings that reminded me of my own, and of course the dog.

Oh—I loved Rules for Ghosting. Like, proper loved it—in my top 5 reads of the year, loved it.

Shelly Jay Shore created such a beautiful novel, wrapped in so much love.. I love that it wasn't just a romance—it was a ode to family (biological and found), to romance, to working through your grief and trauma, to the queer community, to the Jewish community. Wow.

I cried, I laughed, I gasped out loud. I genuinely loved this so so so much. I thought Ezra was so well-written and the careful choice of having him be a doula and growing up in a funeral home was such a great choice. The relationship he had with his family members, especially his siblings, felt so realistic. His and Jonathan's relationship and their connection also had me smiling, giggling, crying!!! I was eating it all up.

I also want to add—the care in which Shore wrote Ezra as a trans-man was so beautiful. Even when flashing back to pre-transition, there was never a change in pronouns, we never learned the deadname, and I loved the fact that there were such little details in how Ezra carried himself and viewed the world based on his experience.

I was recommending this book to friends before I even finished and I cannot wait to go out and buy myself a physical copy of this.

When I first started reading Rules for Ghosting, I knew I was going into a paranormal queer romance, but what I didn't expect was to fall in love with it the way I did. The story of Ezra and the ghosts that haunted him (both literally and metaphorically) made me relish every single page of this book. And Jonathan's constant assurance and patience with Ezra while he went through a crazy journey made him one of my favorite characters. This book had so much heart and was coincidentally released around the 3 year mark of my own mother's passing, making this a very deeply felt story. I can't believe this is Shelly Jay Shore's debut novel. I will definitely keep an eye our for more of her work.
Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Ezra Friedman can see ghosts which made growing up in a funeral home a struggle. It’s not a surprise that Ezra made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the family business when he got older, but when a secret drops that has the his mom leaving her position as business manager Ezra has no choice but to step in. Faced with his ability, his grandpas ghost, family secrets and a new love interest whose dead husband follows him around Ezra has a lot on his plate. Will it be too much for him or will her learn how to juggle everything and succeed in a place he never expected?

Going into this book I honestly had no idea what to expect. The cover drew me in and the description intrigued me enough to make my pick up this book. I ended up with mixed feelings about this book. I liked the whole premise of being able to see ghosts and wading through family drama and romance, but I’m not a huge fan of how it was executed. There were so many opportunities for this book, but I don’t really think they were taken. I really loved the characters and thought they were very well created. The representations in this book were strong and well done. The writing was also good, but I felt like the main storyline was kind of a mess and too much was going on. I feel like the book couldn’t decide what it wanted to be so to tried to be everything at once when choosing my one lane would have benefited the story so much better. Overall, this was a decent read with strong characters, but the story was lacking for me. I have seen many reviews with people who loved this and I can see how some readers would, just not me. If this sounds interesting to you I think you should definitely give it a try, just know there is a lot going on that confused the main story for me.