As an adult, Maines is a successful actress, but she first made headlines at a far younger age—when she and her family sued the school district to allow Maines to use the bathrooms that fit her gender. Some of that story was told in "Becoming Nicole", but (as Maines notes) that book was never really *her* story: it's her family's story, and maybe especially her father's story from a black-and-white conservative thinker to someone who would fight for his daughter, again and again and on a public stage.

"It Gets Better...Except When It Gets Worse" is doing double-duty here: first, it's Maines's story as she wants to tell it rather than a story that is being told about her and her family; second, it's written for a different audience than "Becoming Nicole". I highly recommend "Becoming Nicole", but I recommend it mostly for adult readers who want a deeper dive into the American landscape of trans rights and family dynamics. "It Gets Better..." is much lighter and more informal in tone, with plenty of slang and the occasional emoji, and definitely written with a more teen/young adult audience in mind. Your mileage may vary with the voice (I am too much an old and cranky millennial to stomach emojis in books, oh my dear god, I thought we'd finally gotten over people putting "omg" and "lol" in their books, and now this—Gen Z, what am I supposed to do with you), but there's no denying that Maines has a strong voice here, and strong opinions. This feels like a reflection of someone who has had to be so careful for so long and finally feels able to use her voice at full volume, and I'm here for that.

The structure is something like a series of interconnected essays. I typically respond better to memoirs that are less segmented (I'm quite a fast reader, so essays and short stories often feel like they end just as I'm getting into them), especially because some of the chapters here feel more soapbox than story. They're generally quite valid soapboxes, mind, and occasionally the stories Maines tells took my breath away:

"My school's response to the bullying was to institute the 'eyes-on' program, just for me, which meant a teacher's aid [sic] was assigned to be my bodyguard each day, and they followed me around school. Not to protect me—I repeat, not to protect me—but to make sure I only used the bathroom they'd assigned to me. They'd follow me from class to class. If I had to use the bathroom during class, the teacher would stop me at the door and tell me I had to wait for whoever was assigned to escort me that day." (loc. 718*)

Overall I'm just happy that this is likely to reach a wide audience—both Supergirl fans and young adults who are interested in LQBTQ+ topics—and that Maine is finally in a place to make decisions for herself. The US is a scary place politically right now, and I hope Maine's voice only gets stronger. Emojis and all.

Thanks to the author and publisher for inviting me to read a review copy through NetGalley.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

I loved Maines's voice in the first half of the book, but the second half felt forced. I appreciate so much that she shares that she had a ghostwriter, but it's wild to me that the second half of the book could be so contrived with professional help. I don't mean to hate on this book, and I really enjoyed the beginning. It left me a little soggy.

The author knew she was a girl and expressed her gender as soon as she was able to. Her utter certainty prevented her reluctant, conservative dad from denying her reality. It took him a minute, but he ended up being Nicole's biggest crusader. We don't hear as much about Nicole's monozygotic twin brother, other than apologies and gratitude. I think he's an actor, too? If you didn't know who Nicole was before looking up this book (I didn't), she's an actor who gained fame/notoriety as a superhero buddy to Supergirl on the eponymous TV show. I say "notoriety" because I don't know anything about the fandom, but Maines reports that it was dictatorial and unforgiving. People wanted a lot out of the first out trans superhero played by an out trans woman. They didn't always get what they wanted, and they were mean about it. The fans are probably unrealistic shits, but I think that's the kind of thing you need to complain about to other people in your position. Still, I appreciate the Maines's voice and activism. This book will probably go down better with people who know Maines's work. I read it because someone from Feminist Press has me on a list.

It Gets Better is a riveting story about how Nicole Maines journey through her life. From being a CW Superhero, a Disney princess, and the ups and downs of being transgender, she tells what she had to go through.

It Gets Better is a funny and inspiring memoir by trans actress Nicole Maines. I didn't think I knew who she was, but then I recognized her from the historic trans bathroom lawsuit. She's also a writer on Superman son of Kal-el, which is one of my favorite DC comic series.

I really enjoyed getting to learn about her journey. It was interesting to read and is enjoyable even if you aren't familiar with her work. I loved her father's journey from NRA conservative to supportive to spokesperson and activist. I also like that she was candid about her botched gender affirming surgery. There are a lot of heavy topics (like dysphoria and the botched surgery) but it's all written with an air of humor.

Happy Pride! And thanks to Random House and netaglley for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review!

It Gets Better…Except When it Gets Worse tells the story of trans-woman actress Nicole Maines in her own words. From her earliest days when she realized she didn’t fit in the skin she was born in, to her early days in Hollywood.
I don’t typically read memoirs or autobiographies, but I’ve been a fan of Ms. Maines since she first appeared on Supergirl. I figured I’d give this book a try to learn more about her background.
I can honestly say that this book kept me hooked the entire time. There was no part where I thought I might put it down for a bit.
I’m not going to go into any details about the struggles her family went through during her childhood and formative years, that’s all in the book. But she told all of it with intelligence, wit, charm and snark (more on that later). She also didn’t shy away from self-blame for any problems that she might have caused.
This is definitely a book that you can learn something from, if you pay attention. That is something of which, we should all be mindful.
Now, back to the snark. I’m going to go back this book when the audiobook drops, so I can hear it in her own words. Snark Factor 10.

The book shows how Nicole’s life journey through her story and everything else. She was known as Nia/Dreamer in CW’s Supergirl. The book also shows some things about LGBTQ and rights about it. Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for giving me an opportunity to read this book and do a review.

Love her as an actress and I love her as an author. There’s nothing this woman can’t do. Beautifully written and heartfelt story about Nicole’s life. I felt for her while reading this book, she went through a lot. I’m glad she’s able to tell her story. I think a lot of people will not only find this book interesting, but also be able to connect to it in some way.

This was a brave and interesting story. I'm glad I had the chance to learn about Nicole. Great writing. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars.

Nicole Maines has lived a noteworthy life for simply trying to live an authentic life. It’s truly heartbreaking to think about everything she went through, and she makes it clear that she was still more privileged than most.

I’m sure that people who aren’t liberals won’t like this book, but I found it to be refreshingly honest. As a Gen Xer, I also had no problem with some of the Gen Z slang that was used. The book told some inconvenient truths, but it was also quite funny.

Maines is at her best in this book when she allows herself to go off on a tangent. I agree with basically everything she said, and guess what? I’m not trans (although I am queer). I just happen to share the (non) radical idea that we should all be able to be who we really are.

Another highlight is that she can call herself on her own shit and openly acknowledged the problems/disadvantages of others. I was a bit sad that it only contained like three words about Yellowjackets, but at the end of the day, I wanted to hear about her trans journey more than I wanted to hear about my favorite show.

I hope that Nicole knows how many lives she’s changed for the better and that the cloud of depression will quit following her.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC. This review contains my honest, unbiased opinion.

I thought that the second half of this felt a litter meandering and disconnected, but overall I would recommend this! I think it is really important that Nicole is getting to tell her own story after she became so well known for a book about her that she didn't write.