4 stars and my thanks to Netgalley and the Publisher for the eARC. (well, a reprint of an old book by Hall)

What's this I read? A sequel by Alexis Hall that didn't fall into the Curse? Can it be true?
Kinda.

Alfie is gay and still grappling with what it means in his masculinity=no feelings upbringing when he runs into Fen in his hometown. The good news is, Fen is gorgeous and handsome and funny. The bad news is, Alfie and his friends brutally bullied Fen 15 years ago when they were in the same grade school (or whatever the UK equivalent is). Dealing with his guilt and feelings for Fen, Alfie has a lot to work through and Fen has to decide if the past should stay in the past or move forward.

Hall does a decent job of showing Fen struggling with his feelings for Alfie now versus his fear and loathing of Alfie from the past. He's also grieving his mother and the potential loss of her prized flower shop. I think Fen is probably one of my favorite Alexis Hall characters.

For as smart as Alfie is at times, he can be completely dense when it comes to person-to-person interactions. He's struggling with internalized queerphobia and trying so hard to be a good partner, but fails spectacularly at times. I'm tired of third act breakups and "I'm dumping you to protect you" tropes, but Hall loves them.

Unfortunately, this book was not for me. I went in blind -!: while I’m not opposed to MM romance or spice, the book jumped off with some otettt spicy MM scenes before ever getting to know the characters. From there, it was hard to get back into the story of the book. It seemed as though they were grumpy/grumpy and I like a bit more grumpy sunshine. Perhaps it was right book wrong time, but the book seemed like it was going to be very drama filled with turmoil from the first page and I wanted a little more lightness sprinkled in. Even the humor woven throughout the chapters fell flat for me.

Solid 3⭐️’s. The book offers a heartfelt exploration of identity and redemption, centered around Alfie Bell, who grapples with his past and present after a chance encounter with Fen, a boy from his hometown. Hall’s writing is witty and engaging, capturing the complexities of modern relationships and self-acceptance.

The character development is compelling. The chemistry between Alfie and Fen is palpable, but the resolution lacks depth, making it hard to fully invest in their journey.

Overall, it’s an enjoyable read with moments of brilliance, though it doesn’t quite reach its full potential.

While this is book 4 in Hall's Spires series, each book is a stand-alone (although I've read and enjoyed the first 3).

This one follows Alfie, a wealthy investment banker who returns to his small home town for a friend's wedding only to be confronted with Fen, a cute guy he pulls at a bar. Of course, things are never that simple and it turns out that Fen is the same kid Alfie and his friends all bullied relentlessly as children.

The attraction is immediate, but they both have emotional baggage to sort through. Alexis Hall always writes deeply nuanced, deeply flawed, deeply lovable characters. Alfie and Fen are no exception. It was fun while I was reading it and it got me over my reading slump, but I've enjoyed others by the author more. The Spires series are reprints of older releases, and Alexis Hall has grown as an author since. I highly recommend A Lady For a Duke and the Boyfriend Material series.

This is an absolutely beautifully-written book around some very sensitive topics. You cannot tread lightly into this book. You must give it your whole heart. Alexis doesn’t hold back, giving us a very flawed Alfie who thinks he’s made a complete turnaround from his youth days, but learns that he still has a ways to go.

When reading Fen, I think the prologue regarding his mother is so insightful, and helps you understand how Fen reacts in the book and why he may make choices that the reader may not. The relationship between these two characters has so many layers and Alexis slowly peels them back as we read.

Gothshelley is an absolutely dream side character. The quips, the banter - exquisite. Throw in the many musical references and you have a fantastically written book about heavy subject matters.

Alexis Hall broke my heart again with the fourth installment of their Spires series, Pansies.

What struck me the most about Pansies was this idea of going home to the place you escaped, the place that hurt you and made you in equal measure, and that place ending up healing you. As a person who ran from their town at 17 and never looked back, Alfie’s and Ren’s complex relationship with their town resonates deeply. I know it’s considered cliche to wax poetic about settings being their own characters but South Shields IS A CHARACTER and it develops! Not only itself but the lads as well. It’s whole function is to provide a space for Alfie and Ren to meet each other as the men they are now versus the boys they were in the past.

I also know the title is not an accident but Hall’s way of laying on the not-very-nice insult lobbed at queer boys that insinuates they’re too effeminate or delicate. Truly, the idea of being perceived as weak is Alfie’s lifelong battle, and he almost loses.

In sum, if you’re new to The AH Multiverse, you’re in for spectacularly complex characters overcoming really shit circumstances, whether they be external or internal conflicts. Buckle up for beautifully steamy scenes between consenting adults, and prepare yourself to cry at least once. Their works are achingly human and 3000% delightful.

No book by Alexis Hall will ever get anything less than 5 stars from me.

Pansies is yet another incredibly well written MM novel about grief, longing, love, and finding yourself. I loved Alfie and Fen's story so much and I can't wait to read more from the Spires series.

If you want an emotional read that will make you think about your own fears and relationships, I highly recommend this book,

I enjoyed this book by Alexis Hall. The characters were relatable and interesting (especially Gothshelly, who cracked me up constantly), and it was a nice romance. The very specific Britishisms and dialect were sometimes a bit hard to understand (constant googling was distracting), but otherwise it was a very enjoyable read and I tore through the book quickly.

Impossible not to love Fen and Alfie. They are so relatable and beautifully struggling with life and grief. I'm not one for books with tons of sex, and this one has tons of sex, but I still really loved the story.

When you share a wonderful night with someone then you realise it’s your former bully!

Full of drama and overcoming trauma it’s a great book about finding yourself,love and forgiveness

I loved every minute of it

Wow! This has it all family drama, trauma, finding yourself, love, acceptance, forgiveness and friendship. Alfie goes home and has his world turned upside down when he has a wonderful night with Fen. He thought he was someone new but turns out he used to bully him in school. Now, he wants to apologize and show him that he has changed. Reading the letters Fen wrote to his mom and what he went through as a child was gut wrenching to read but so well written.

Fen is having a difficult time accepting the death of his mother. These two have a rocky start but the relationship is so raw and real and an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs.

Pansies by A. Hall, published by Sourcebooks Casablanca, is book 4 in the Spires Series.
A fantastic read that had me intrigued from the start, suspenseful, fast paced and action packed. 5 Stars.
Blurb: Alfie Bell is . . . fine. He’s got a six-figure salary, a penthouse in Canary Wharf, the car he swore he’d buy when he was eighteen, and a bunch of fancy London friends.
It’s rough, going back to South Shields. It’s the last place he’s expecting to pull. But Fen’s gorgeous, with his pink-tipped hair and hipster glasses, full of the sort of courage Alfie’s never had. It should be a one-night thing, but Alfie hasn’t met anyone like Fen before.
Except he has. At school, when Alfie was everything he was supposed to be, and Fen was the stubborn little gay boy who wouldn’t keep his head down. And now it’s a proper mess.
Alfie just wants to make it right. But how can he, when all they’ve got in common is the nowhere town they both ran away from.

This book hits hard with its raw honesty, diving deep into the chaos of life and love that feels all too real. It's an emotional rollercoaster that had me laughing and crying—definitely worth the read!

Alexis Hall has quickly become one of my favorite writers, he has an excellent way of developing his characters in a way that feels so real and authentic and interesting always keeping you stuck to the page.
Pansies has an amazing mix of humor and serious narrative that makes you root for the characters. Sadly I wasn’t able to finish the novel before my time with the ARC finished and it feels unfair to upload a review to my blog when I haven’t finished the book but it was on its way to become another 5 star read for me - I will post an update as soon as I can afford to buy the book and finish reading it.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this title. Pansies is the fourth book in the Spires series that is being rereleased after author Alexis Hall has gone back and made some revisions. Frankly, I'm grateful this series has come back around and made available.. There is so much love and pain and emotion and anguish and laughter in Alexis Hall's books. I'm hooked so quickly into the relationships that are the center of Hall's books because they are written with so much fun and wild yet realistic situations. Hall is an expert in banter and it always makes me laugh. Hall also has the ability to bring me to tears about five minutes after that laugh.

Pansies is the love story of Alfie and Fen. Their first encounter in the story is hot and weird and intense and amazing. Alfie is newly out in the town where he grew up, but left, and is back for a friend's wedding. Everything is the same and everything is different. He picks up Fen in a bar, or maybe he doesn't, Fen seems to be angry with him for trying. After a very hot session in Alfie's hotel room, Fen reminds Alfie that they have a shared past, one Alfie hadn't realized until Fen brought it up. From that point on it is a push and pull of affection, anger, frustration, sadness, steamy scenes and ultimately love.

I really liked exploring Alfie's mindset as a newly out gay man who is struggling with the traditional male roles he was brought up with and how that fits into a relationship with another man. I thought Fen's lingering grief was very relatable and a certain scene where Alfie reads a note next to a mirror shattered my heart. It may sound odd but I always learn things from Alexis Hall's books and I always feel like I've made a full emotional journey at the end of them.

<i>She wouldn’t understand, and he couldn’t explain. How bad it felt to be a shock. To be an idea people had to get used to. To be a moment of hesitation. A flinch when someone touched you. A wariness in their eyes. </i>

Every time I read a new book in the Alexis Hall’s Spires series I think it might just be my favourite and Pansies is no exception.

<i> Alfie Bell is . . . fine. He’s got a six-figure salary, a penthouse in Canary Wharf, the car he swore he’d buy when he was eighteen, and a bunch of fancy London friends.
It’s rough, though, going back to South Shields now that they all know he’s a fully paid-up pansy. It’s the last place he’s expecting to pull. But Fen’s gorgeous, with his pink-tipped hair and hipster glasses, full of the sort of courage Alfie’s never had. It should be a one-night thing, but Alfie’s never met anyone like Fen before.
Except he has. At school, when Alfie was everything he was supposed to be, and Fen was the stubborn little gay boy who wouldn’t keep his head down. And now it’s a proper mess: Fen might have slept with Alfie, but he’ll probably never forgive him, and Fen’s got all this other stuff going on anyway, with his mam and her flower shop and the life he left down south.
Alfie just wants to make it right. But how can he, when all they’ve got in common is the nowhere town they both ran away from.</i>

With Pansies, Hall takes notions of who we are, who others expect us to be, who others are and who we expect them to be, and throws them in a giant pot. He throws in internalised homophobia, grief, and childhood bullying. He gathers great handfuls of home, of growth, and of desire and stirs them in with a generous pinch of sea salt.

<i> If he kissed Fen in London, would he still taste of the sea?<i>

And it’s magic.

Every Spires book has hit me hard, has made me think, has dug itself under my skin, but Pansies? Pansies grabbed me by the balls, dragged me to a mirror and made me take a good hard look at myself. I saw so much of myself in Alfie Bell; of what it means to be human, of how we fuck up, of how we make amends. And on the flip side, I couldn’t figure out if I was him, if I wanted to be him, or if I just really fucking wanted him, so I guess I could relate to Fen also. Alfie is kind and kinda stupid. He is earnest and honest, he wants so much to do right by people, and he is just so bloody romantic I can’t even. And I should want to even, but alas, even tho chivalry is a bad thing now, because of tumblr or something, He falls hard and fast for Fen, and in his forthright, no nonsense, get thing done (or try to) kind of way, he just wants to take care of him.

But Fen? Fen is a hot mess. He’s sassy and proud. He’s grieving and full of guilt. He is lost, and broken, and unsettled by the way he feels about Alfie, and what that says about him, given all they’ve been through. Hall doesn’t shy away from big feelings, and even though we only get small snippets of Fen’s internal point of view in Pansies, this book delivers Big Feelings by the bowlful.

This new edition of Pansies contains a bunch of extras, including a foreword from the author, annotations, Alfie Bell’s Hashtag Eggplant Wednesday Lasagne Recipe, and Floriography: The Language of Flowers.

Thanks NetGalley and Sourcebooks for this eARC.

11/10 recommend.

3.5 stars. I have read several books by Alexis Hall and I find that my likes and dislikes for each of them are very similar. My likes; the friendships and romances are grittier; the character are more realistic and realistically flawed; up until the three quarters mark, I always root for the characters to be together. My only dislike: why is there always some angsty, unbelievable piece of drama that keeps the two character apart towards the end. It always makes me so stressed out. In this book, especially, there were enough obstacles throughout that the final drama was unnecessary. That said, I keep reading what this author writes so…there you go. I received a digital ARC from the publisher via Net Galley.

This will be an easy read for those who are fans of Alexis Hall.

Unfortunately it just didn't hit right for me. DNF.

Always an absolute fave author of mine writing just another phenomenal story that I just couldn't put down! I just ate this one up and instantly wanted to re-read the second I was finished. Everything I need and want from start to finish.

Alfie Bell is, in his heart, a Northern lad. After returning to his hometown of South Shields for the wedding of his childhood best friend, Alfie finds himself involved with an old school-”mate,” Fenimore O’Donaghue, the receiver of a younger-Alfie’s relentless bullying. Pansies follows Alfie and Fen as they, individually and collectively, navigate identity, grief, the past, and the ever-shifting dynamics of family, friendship, and relationships in adulthood.

As a preliminary matter, this book hit three of my least favorite technical writing choices: 3rd person limited POV , written dialect (though Hall - as per usual- nails authenticity), and POVs via written letters. None of these choices factor into the review, but are included here only to make the point that if you are like me and finds these things slightly irksome, please endure. It will be worth it.

There is plenty in Pansies that is so well-done and effortlessly makes you laugh, and hurt, and cry with Alfie Bell & Fen (shout out to Greg for also being fantastic). The Do-not-do-it-yourself, Lasagna cooking, Go-Kart scenes and basically the entirety of chapter 23 are among the moments in Pansies that had me smiling irrationally (and in the case of ch. 23 - both smiling and wanting to punch Alfie Bell (though I hasten to add I do not condone violence, even if it is towards fictional men)). As usual, Hall excels in painting gorgeous imagery, detailed world building, and granting a platform for queer struggle. Indeed, where I think Pansies excels the most is in painting the many difficulties one faces post-coming-out, whether that be from the never ending coming-out to others (including friends and family), the reality of the “after,” and wrestling with one's identity in relationship to society and self-identity. All this framed in gold (a side note - this word is severely overused in this story - “gold” or “golden” is mentioned 45 times (I am not usually this persnickety but it was glaring at me this time)), with lines such as:

“She wouldn’t understand, and he couldn’t explain. How bad it felt to be a shock. To be an idea people had to get used to. To be a moment of hesitation. A flinch when someone touched you. A wariness in their eyes. How much it fucking hurt.”

Hall’s ability to make readers feel remains unparalleled. I have yet to walk away from any read written by Hall and not feel dazzled and transported, wistful and enlightened. In a way that is all Hall’s own, Hall makes one be human. I am always left with this twisted thing of wistfulness and nostalgia that is unique to Hall’s writing in a way that is truly indescribable. The closest I can come, is this bit of a letter written by Frederic Chopin:

“I keep your letters, as if they were ribbons from a beloved one. I have the ribbon; write to me, and in a week I will enjoy myself chattering to you again.”

This slight tangent is all to say: these characters and stories Hall produces are invaluable, cherished by many, and equally as invoking of emotion with each re-read.

All this aside, Pansies took me a bit longer to get into and left me a little less wonder-lusted. I suspect, unfortunately this has to do with how Alfie Bell was written, especially in the beginning - a bit bumbling or perhaps in a way that suggests he is more brute and less brain when we know he has a brain. To give Hall credit where credit is due, his technical choices with Alfie Bell do portray what he is trying to very well: Aflie is a bit repressed, confused with his identity and place, and northern-boy at heart and as the story progresses you feel his progress. His narration shifts from a bit short and short-sighted to a little more run-on, flowery, and emotional. This is brilliantly done.

Pansies is sweet and honest, somewhat clunky, a bit a mess, but hey - so is life and relationships, right? I think actually Fen and Nora summarize Pansies best:

“Um, what are weeds, then?” “Flowers where you don’t expect them.”

All in all, Pansies is worth the spot on your bookshelf and/or e-reader. If you have read Glitterland, For Real, and Chasing the Light, you will appreciate the subtle and not-so-subtle nods. The author annotations add, as always, an added level of depth and platonic parasocial-ity. It is always wonderful to see the delightfully obscure factoids, well-thought out lines and events, and personality that goes into a work.

Pansies was a victory, even if (personally) it was a harder fought one than I normally experience with Hall. This should not disway others from falling in love effortlessly with Alfie and Fen, as I am sure many have and many more will.

Honest review - ARC copy - Net Galley. Thank you Sourcebooks Casablanca for this opportunity!