n How to Be Enough, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen offers a refreshingly honest and practical approach to tackling perfectionism and self-criticism. Designed for those who appear accomplished but secretly feel like they’re never enough, this book resonates deeply with anyone striving for happiness while juggling impossibly high standards. Hendriksen combines clinical expertise with real-world examples, creating a relatable and accessible guide for embracing self-acceptance.

One of the book's greatest strengths is its structure. The seven shifts Hendriksen outlines—from self-criticism to kindness, from control to authenticity—are straightforward yet transformative. She doesn’t suggest abandoning high standards but instead encourages a healthier relationship with them. Her tone is warm and reassuring, free of judgment, which makes even the toughest truths easier to digest. The emphasis on building genuine connections and rewriting rigid inner rules is particularly empowering, especially for readers who feel isolated by their perfectionist tendencies.

While the book is insightful and actionable, some of the advice might feel repetitive for readers familiar with self-help literature. However, Hendriksen’s empathetic approach and engaging storytelling ensure it remains fresh and motivating. How to Be Enough is a must-read for self-critics and perfectionists looking to step off the hamster wheel of never-enoughness and embrace a more fulfilling, connected life.

Seen. Heard. Validated. Purchased. I’ve known I’m a perfectionist for a very long time, but what I didn’t know was revealed in this well laid out book. It helped me understand myself better and gave manageable ways to temper these perfectionist tendencies. There’s so many layers of perfectionism I wasn’t aware of. One person could be a few of the layers and another could be a few entirely different layers. I’m so bold as to guess that almost everyone has one of these layers ingrained. This is truly a read for everyone- to understand all of us a little better and build compassion for one another. I appreciated that the material is easy to grasp and anything that feels Big is broken down to bite sized concepts and ideas. Truly recommending everyone put this on their TBR list!

Hendriksen uses stories from her own clients, as well as information garnered from other studies, to showcase common human errors and situations.
"Enough" is different than other self-help books in many important ways, namely that Hendriksen doesn't talk about perfectionism as something that "needs to be changed". She provides doable strategies with achievable goals without labeling the viewer as lacking. Hendriksen focuses on the behaviors associated with perfectionism and provides ways to change these specific behaviors simply by looking at them through a different lens.

This book was phenomenal. As someone who has lived her whole life as a perfectionist, this hit me right where I needed it to. I came from an alcoholic home where I was forced to grow up way too early, and I can see now how that led to so many of my behaviors about perfectionism. This book was so helpful, and even made me emotional at some parts when I was reading things that described me exactly. Thank you for such an amazing read!

How to Be Enough by Ellen Hendriksen is an amazing read on self-acceptance for self-critics and perfectionists.
This book is filled with compelling anecdotes that help illustrate the author’s points.
Ellen Hendriksen is a clear, engaging writer and "How to Be Enough" offers such phenomenal help on flexible, forgiving, and a freeing path.

Thank You NetGalley and St. Martin's Essentials for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

Lots of insight, lots of stories. I’ve learned some new things, reflected on past things. Worth the read if the subject is relevant.

I admit I love self help books. And generally I’m happy if I just walk away with a nugget or two that I think I can work into my everyday life to make things a bit better. Rarely have I read a self help book where it makes me instantly think of someone else, but that’s exactly what happened while I was reading Ellen Hendriksen’s How to Be Enough. Reading this I could swear Hendrisksen had written this specifically for one of my sisters. Now I love my sister to pieces, but she is a perfectionist who is who own hardest critic, and I definitely feel this book could help her. The concept of perfectionism not being about being perfect but in reality being about never feeling as if good enough just perfectly (no pun intended) describes one of my sisters. And I fell liked Hendriksen’s plan on how to shift perspective. I’ll definitely be picking up a copy for my sister, but now I just need to go back and re-read this with on eye on myself as the focal point and see how well the ideas presented will work for me. Hendriksen’s writing style is simple, often times lighthearted, and easy to understand. Thanks so much to the St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for allowing me the chance to read and review an ARC of How to Be Enough.

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Lately, I have been avoiding reading self-help books, because they all seem to have similar themes and get to be pretty redundant. The title of this one piqued my interest, and though I flip-flopped on whether I really wanted to read it, I decided I would. And I'm super glad I did. Short and sweet, and not overly woo-woo, redundant, or shallow, How To Be Enough covers the things that perfectionists might have dealt with throughout all points of their lives, and offers small mental changes and challenges. One chapter in particular discusses how you can be something but you can still make mistakes or not overachieve in that category-like, I am an athlete, and sometimes I skip a run. (I'm a *blank* and sometimes I *blank*). At the end of that chapter, I had to sit and stare at the wall, because I hadn't even realized I'd held myself to such a standard in which I couldn't make any mistakes at all. Before reading this book, I didn't realize how rigid a structure I'd given myself, while giving plenty of grace to others who make the same mistakes. So I'm very grateful for that chapter, and the rest of the book as well!

Definitely recommend if you are realizing that you hold yourself to a perfect standard and see that that is not sustainable!

Thank you to Netgalley and St Martin's Essentials for the e-ARC.

Ellen Hendrickson's HOW TO BE ENOUGH is studded with wisdom I thought I knew well until I read her book and realize I didn't have a clue. Just one example that struck me hard enough to jot: "we can learn to be good to ourselves even when we're wired to be hard on ourselves." is a single example of the smart, uplifting, and empowering nuggets offered by Hendrickson. My only complaint as a reader is a big one: there are so many citations and footnotes that what could be a deeply pleasurable reading experience is ruined -- in future editions, possibly they might be gathered at the end of each chapter and the intrusive and unhelpful citations removed. In sum, the content is great, but the execution leaves much to be improved. I received a copy of this book and these opinions are my own, unbiased thoughts.

If you are someone who tries their best to be extremely organized, struggle with perfectionism, or have questions about whether or not what they are doing is enough, this book could be for you. The author, a clinical psychologist, admits that she is a perfectionist, which adds authenticity to the book and her suggestions. Personal experiences, as well as that of her clients, are included to make this a relatable book for most readers. This book does not come across as your typical self-help book. This is one of those books that you may take your time to read, as there is a lot of helpful information to absorb. The layout makes it easy for readers to skip to the sections that will be most pertinent to them. The overall reminder that you do not have to be perfect is an important message for everyone.

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s How to Be Enough is a practical guide for anyone struggling with perfectionism and feelings of inadequacy. Through relatable insights, actionable exercises, and a compassionate tone, Hendriksen helps readers prioritize self-acceptance without sacrificing ambition.

The book delves into the challenges of high standards, which can lead to external success but also burnout and dissatisfaction. Hendriksen’s seven shifts—like moving from self-criticism to kindness—provide practical tools for embracing self-worth.

I appreciated the book’s balance of introspection and action. The exercises offered meaningful self-reflection, though some sections felt repetitive. Overall, the message is empowering and transformative.

This is a great resource for overcoming perfectionism while maintaining high standards. I’d recommend it to anyone seeking self-acceptance and authentic connections.

This book came in the perfect time in my love. There are times that I am still trying to find myself especially few months of giving birth (post-partum) this book was def a savior. This novel was such a fresh of clean air. I am so thankful to come across this book How to be enough! I love self help Books and I have to say this bool was super helpful. I do definitely recommend!

Enough is a volatile terms and hard to be defined.
If high achievement is our to go, a lot probably goes well in your life. High standards and hard work pay off. You may get flattering compliments: on top of everything, accomplished, successful. This book reminds us how to be enough.

Fantastic deep-dive into the complicated foundations of perfectionism. Hendriksen makes this hairy, defensive topic very approachable, with a conversational writing style and countless analogies and personal stories.

While I expected some of the information to be common sense (e.g., 'take it easy,' 'be nice to yourself'), the overall book contains many snippets of information that were helpful, interesting, and more thought-provoking than I originally anticipated.

I walked away with a newfound understanding of three main topics. First, procrastination is not about time management but emotion management. FMRI studies backed this up and gave me a new perspective on that gnawing self-sabotaging feeling when there is so much to do, but procrastination keeps slipping in uninvited.

Secondly, the core trait of perfectionism begins and festers within family structures. This seems obvious, but Hendriksen breaks this down into multiple types of parenting and how even innocuous helpfulness and/or encouragement can have long-term consequences if not executed properly. Chapter 3, as a whole, is an important chapter for anyone interested in learning more about their own perfectionism and how to integrate more thoughtful parenting with their own children.

Lastly, the book offers many helpful tips and suggestions on how to be more open and vulnerable in personal and professional relationships. This was unexpected, but it really highlighted how perfectionism can bleed into daily conversations and inadvertently block genuine connections with others.

Overall, wonderful book for the insecure overachiever in all of us. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Thank you, NetGalley and St. Martin's Press, for the opportunity to read this advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest review.

As a Clinicla Social Worker and Perfectionist, this book was great. It was a very thorough look at perfectionism and its various origins and presentations and was presented in a way with individual stories and anecdotes that kept it interesting!

How to Be Enough take a deep dive of what perfectionism looks like and how those various characteristics can show up for people. It then takes a look at how we can shift our perspectives about ourselves and start to approach our self-worth with an acceptance mindset. I find these mind shift reminders helpful when it comes to working on self acceptance, the ability to shift a paradigm and view our characteristics as a way of what is, and without judgement is so helpful.

While the overall concepts within this book are not new for me, the little anecdotes help to view the concepts in a new way. I appreciated the stories and talking points as another informative learning in my self acceptance journey.

4.5 rounded up

This book was full of information I needed to hear. It took me longer to read than usual, because I wanted to make sure that I was processing and relating to the information in the book. So, I took extra time to make sure I was listening to the messages and in a spot to reckon with myself. While I did not relate to all the components in the book, I did relate to quite a few. This will definitely be a re-read, with annotations, and some more self-reflection. I appreciated how the author broke down components of self-criticism and perfectionism, as it felt manageable to tackle smaller, discrete components versus all of the self-criticism and perfectionism. It will always be a work in progress for me, but this is something I will come back to multiple times. I also found it beneficial that the author suggested ways to make these tendencies less harmful, and in a more productive manner.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC!

How to be enough was a great read and listen. I liked the different strategies to help with self-esteem as well as procrastination. The stories of real patients helped too.

I don’t normally rate non-fiction, but this is by far the most impactful psychology-based, self-help books I’ve ever read. I’ve been an overthinking perfectionist my whole life, but even knowing that going into this book didn’t open my eyes to how many self-critical habits I have until I finished reading. I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted a book so much before, because so much of what the author said and found through psychological studies resonated with me. I loved how this was structured with real-life stories to be more practical, studies to be more analytical, and solutions for you to take for each big point. There are many things I’ll be trying to do for myself and in my relationships with those around me after reading this. I highly recommend to anyone who knows they’re hard on themselves and has to do things to the max in life!

How to Be Enough is a breath of fresh air, especially for those of us wrestling with perfectionism—or as Hendriksen calls it, "consciousness in overdrive." This book offers countless insights and strategies that readers can take with them long after finishing it. As someone who has personally struggled with many of the thought patterns and behaviors described, I found it refreshing and validating to see them articulated so clearly, particularly since perfectionism can be so difficult to discuss.

Hendriksen does an excellent job of illustrating how perfectionism, while often praised and rewarded in today's society, comes with significant downsides. From its impact on mental and physical health to its contributions to higher rates of mental illness, suicide, and strained relationships, she underscores the importance of addressing these tendencies.

What makes this book stand out is its balance of personal anecdotes, patient stories, and well-researched case studies. Hendriksen carefully breaks down the components of perfectionism—such as self-criticism, rule-bound thinking, and hyper-focus on mistakes—while also exploring its different forms, like self-oriented versus other-oriented perfectionism. Each section dives deep into these topics and introduces practical, actionable strategies to manage and improve them. Her humor and approachable tone make even the heaviest topics feel manageable, and she acknowledges that small changes can lead to significant progress over time.

One of the book's greatest strengths is its flexibility. Readers can focus on the sections most relevant to their struggles and skip or skim others as needed. Personally, I found the chapter on "doorknobs" for conversations particularly valuable. Hendriksen's advice on improving conversational skills—especially in a world where self-centered dialogue is all too common—is something anyone could benefit from.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found its key takeaways to be both actionable and empowering: focus on values and processes rather than outcomes and goals, and cultivate self-forgiveness and authenticity. How to Be Enough is a must-read for anyone seeking to quiet their inner critic and embrace a healthier, more balanced way of living.